Dear Femininity, Men Want You Back

My last article was on the subject of men and women holding each other to higher standards, so we can each begin to improve the quality of ourselves, each other, and the quality of mates we’re attracting into our lives.

I had received a great deal of emails from women thanking me for giving them hope, saying things like “Thank you, I now know that it’s okay not to settle for less than what I deserve”. And while I agree with them, I can’t help but notice a common theme amongst the women of the 21st century.

You ready for it?

I find that many women lack the feminine version of the qualities that they desire in a man; and also, their desire to be liked for the same reasons that they like a man. The high-majority of women who I speak with day to day, are completely out of touch with what it is that attract men, and what it is that men desire. And so they are continually frustrated, because we as men are not attracted to them for the same reasons that they are attracted to us.

For example:

I meet a lot of these successful independent women who say things like “I have my Master’s degree, I make over $100,000 dollars a year, I can fend for myself, why can’t I find a decent man?” And what these women don’t realize is that men are not biologically programmed to look at a woman for what she can provide. So the amount of money a woman makes a year means absolutely nothing to the biological reasons that men find women attractive. I would even go so far as to say that any man who is looking to a woman for what she can provide isn’t a man. That’s not how “men” are wired. Women are biologically programmed to look at a man for what he can provide, the same way they look toward a man biologically as a figure of protection. Real men (in my dame dash voice) do not operate this way. A man should not look for his woman to protect him. Imagine a man saying to a group of his friends “Yo… I love my girl man. Last night she killed a big ass spider for me. I was scared as shit. I screamed and she just jumped up and killed it. She’s dope“.

Ladies… what would you do if there was an intruder in the home and your man hid underneath the bed and asked you if you could go out and deal with it? You would probably lose every nanobyte of respect and attraction for that man. Why does that happen? Because biologically you are wired to look to a man as a figure of strength who could protect you if he could.

Ever go on a date with a man who just doesn’t make you feel “safe”? Were you attracted to that man? Of course not.

So why is it that women get into this habit of expecting us to like them for the same reasons that they like us?

I’ll have a woman say something like “Eddie… I love you” and I will genuinely say “thank you” in appreciation that she has expressed herself to me in such a way, and do you know what she’ll say?  “Why didn’t you say that you loved me too?” I’ll say “Why do you love me?” She’ll usually say something like “because you’re so funny, wise, and insightful”. I’ll respond genuinely “So why should I love you ‘too’ because I’m funny, wise and insightful? You saying that you love me right now is predicated upon how you feel in this moment. Why do you expect me to love you in this moment the same way you love me, when you’re not doing the same things I am doing in this moment to be loved?”

The problem is, many women I speak with have completely lost touch with what it is that men want and find attractive. With all of the studying they do on men, they still somehow can’t wrap their head around this concept.

So I wrote this piece as a call to women to begin checking whether or not they are the feminine version of that which a man is looking for.

If I make a $100,000 a year and you make $100,000 a year, and one of the reasons you “like me” is because I do decent financially, and I would be able to provide for you if I had too, that doesn’t mean that I am suppose to like you equally for making the hundred thousand dollars.

I say this because, I am not programmed biologically to like you for your ability to provide. We are not equal in terms of attraction in that regard. My $100,000 means something to you biologically – something to the core of your nature. But, your $100,000 means absolutely nothing to me biologically – nothing to the core of my nature. Financial security has nothing to do with the core reasons that I feel attraction for a woman.

A man will approach the girl coming out of McDonalds, with the same type of intensity and desire as the woman walking down Wall Street. If she possesses and has developed/cultivated the qualities that attract him biologically, the money that she makes doesn’t mean a thing.

I want to repeat this again… Any man who feels attraction for you because of how well you do financially is NOT a man. And you will find yourself not attracted to him, and at constant war with him after the honeymoon phase.  The man that you want, if you are in tune with your femininity, is the man that will hold you to the standards of what attracts him biologically.

So I agree that a woman should hold the men to the standard of being able to provide if necessary, and a man should hold women to the standard of being that which he finds attractive – which I’ll get into in a second.

This is not some outdated way of thinking… this is our nature. This is what has allowed us to function for thousands of years in harmony. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the world is currently being destroyed at alarming rates, and the natural fabric of how a man and woman function naturally together is also being destroyed. I believe these extremely high divorce rates, lack of couples getting married, and just unhappy relationships in general, are all a product of this confusion. And each gender is pointing the finger at the other without us realizing what the problem actually is. We are being socially conditioned away from out nature and it is destroying the reasons that we come together.

I now ask the reader… “How many people do you know that you can legit say are in a healthy and happy relationship?”

It’s gotten so bad that break up and divorces have become the norm. We almost expect it now. How often do you expect your guy and girl friends’ boyfriend/girlfriends to stay together? I find many people counting the seconds until it’s over. I know that when I was in high school and the girl I crushed on got into a relationship, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot.

So what is it that men want? Now just as being able to “provide” and being able to “protect” is just two of the many aspects that women are naturally programmed to look for in a man, I will provide two of the many aspects that men are programmed to look for in a woman. For more aspects feel free to send me an email and I can speak with you on this.

1. The Visual – Most women have a difficult time wrapping their heads around this because they believe that they are visual too. And they’re not. At least not in the way that men are visual. For an example of the difference you can watch the videos below:

The Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8

The Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUy3_kBme4M

The videos show the difference in the male versus the female reaction to being catfished. In the first video men speak with a woman on tinder who’s, fit and slender, but when she appears on the date she is about 100 pounds heavier than she was in the photo. The same thing happens in the second video; but this time its women meeting up with a guy they thought was in shape, but turns out to be 100 pounds heavier than his photo.

In this video, the women are all a lot more open to giving the overweight “deceiver” a chance than the men are to giving the overweight deceiving woman a chance. The men in the video are practically incapable of functioning. They just can’t handle or look beyond the visual. They ask no further questions, they’re completely uncomfortable and can see nothing else. The women on the other hand are open to see who this guy is, why he may have lied, and if he is someone they can at least be friends with. Someone they can possibly encourage or help. The men… well they took off running.

Now why do you think this is? If you read the comments on the video you will see that a lot of women were offended that the men didn’t respond in the fashion in which they would have responded. Which completely breaks down the reason why I am writing this piece. Men are not attracted to and/or open to women for the same reasons that women are attracted to and/or open to men. 

Let’s take Cleopatra for example: it is said that the key to Cleopatra’s consistent ability to seduce some of the most powerful men in the world in that time, is because of her understanding of the male visual. She would completely seduce and dazzle the men of that time with the visual; Robert Greens “The Art of Seduction” even quotes:

“Only one image of Cleopatra survives – A barley visible profile on a coin, but we have numerous written descriptions. She had a long thin face and a somewhat pointed nose; her dominate features were her wonderfully large eyes. Her seductive power however, did not lie in her looks – indeed many among the women of Alexandria were considerately more beautiful than she. What she did have above all women was the ability to distract a man. In reality, Cleopatra was physically unexceptional and had no political power, yet both Caesar and Mark Anthony, brave and clever men saw none of this. What they saw was a woman who constantly transformed herself before their eyes, a one-woman spectacle. Her dress and make up changed from day to day, but always gave her a heightened goddess like appearance […] by the time your head lay on the pillow beside her, your mind was spinning with images and dreams […] you never possessed Cleopatra, you worshiped her […] From Cleopatra we learn that it is not beauty that makes a seductress/siren, but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man’s fantasies […] A man is easily deceived by appearances ; he has weakness for the visual. Create the physical presence of a siren (heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner) and he is trapped. He cannot grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you. Keep up the distractions and never let him see who you really are. He will follow you until he drowns. “

Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar are both men that could have had access to the most attractive women of all kinds and creeds across the entire planet. But it was Cleopatra, “A woman that had been exiled from Egypt” with the understanding of the male visual that gave her access to the most powerful men the world had to offer. These men even neglected their responsibility and duties within their own country to remain with her in Egypt. Mark Anthony had even known all about how she had seduced Caesar and brought down his kingdom and he still found himself unable to resist her. Think about that… (I’d encourage any woman further interested in this topic to look up the book “The Art of Seduction” and the chapter titled “The Siren” which is the first chapter of the book)

2. The Desire to Feel Powerful – I spoke about this in my Go Pro radio interview  a bit more extensively, but to paraphrase… All men have this innate desire to feel as if they are kings of the earth. To Feel Powerful. The more testosterone the male has, the stronger his desire for this. It is what drives a man to want the most attractive woman to parade around and show off, and it is what drives him to want to make the most money. It is a symbol to other men that he is the most dominant and powerful one of them all. All masculine mammals in nature have this battle. There is always one male that has to rise to be the Alpha male of the group. It is even said that in some species of male animals just 5% of the males produce 95% of the children of that species. Imagine if humans were like that? Well… I can’t say that we’re that much different. I’ve heard that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. There is a masculine desire within each of us to want to dominate and conquer as much as we can. Testosterone even works as an agent to nullify oxytocin which will prevent a man from developing a chemical/emotional bond with the women he has sex with. This is why men can be so detached after sex – especially around a woman whose only way to make a man feel powerful was through the opening of her legs. Once he’s conquered what far too many women hold onto as if it’s some golden ticket that no one else has but them, he will be off to the next conquest. Unless however, a woman comes to terms with the principles that will keep the guy around.

I’ve found that far too many women remain quiet. A man wants to know when he is and how he is affecting you. He needs you to express yourself without the fear that he may or may not be feeling the same.

A woman will text a guy something like “Do you miss me? “ – Which really means she misses him, but she’s not comfortable saying so unless she is sure he feels the same. This is anti-seductive; had she had the self-esteem and confidence to be transparent and just say something like “I miss you. You make me feel so tingly on the inside, I don’t know what to do” she would be sub-communicating to the man that he is powerful. He has the ability to make her miss him and feel tingly.

One of the main reasons why a man likes to have sex is not because of the fifteen second orgasm that he gets when it’s over. It is the moaning, the groaning, and the scratching from his woman that he desires, because that is a sign to him that he is powerful. Having the ability to make a woman moan, groan, and scratch. This is why you can search the internet and find men obsessed over how to please their woman. It is not just to make a woman orgasm, but so that the man himself can feel powerful – knowing he has the ability to give pleasure.

So on the equal level of the visual I find this to be almost of a greater importance. The wives of some of today’s most powerful men on earth are not that physically attractive, but I’m almost certain that they have the ability to make their man feel powerful; and it is probably this ability that inspired the man to have the confidence to take his current position.

Be open, be transparent, and outwardly express how great his ability to affect you is, and the man will crave the words that leave your mouth to no end.

So to wrap this up… I just want the female readers to make sure that they are not trying to be the exact representation of that which they look for in a man. Rather they be the feminine representation of the qualities that men seek from them. If you want a man that makes 25 million dollars a year, just make sure you have a 25 million dollar ability to stimulate him through your visual (not just physical feature) and a 25 million dollar ability to give him dramatic and transparent presentations of what you feel his power to be. Just because a woman is making 25 million, doesn’t mean that she qualifies to get a man that makes 25 million. Because once again, he is not looking at your ability to provide to determine how attracted to you he is. If you want to make lots of money that’s great, but understand that your high level of education and the amount of money you make a year, means little to nothing to a real man’s (one that will make you happy) desire to want you for anything more than just sex.

The society of today has put too much emphasis on masculinity. It’s the only thing highlighted; so much so that many of the women today are being imitations of masculinity. No one talks about the innate power of a woman. It’s almost as if to be a woman is something you should be ashamed of. If we’re going to go forward as a society, I think it’s important that we begin to highlight both the power of a woman and exactly what that power is so that little girls can desire to be that which is closest to their nature.

It is through a great woman’s visual, energetic and transparent verbal stimulation that a man is inspired to rise to the height of his potential. Which is why the statement “Behind every great man, is a great woman” is something I whole heartily agree with. We need each other, and we need you to join us, and not compete with us so that we can live in harmony. How many of our great leaders were without a woman? Women are the divine energy. They are the inspiration for all creation on this planet. Men just take the energy that they give us and put it into practice. But it is the woman who gives birth to the energy to begin with. She conceives it, she gives it life, – the man raises it, and creates the physical manifestation of it. We are to come together as a team, each with our own role to become ONE complete body together. We aren’t meant to compete with one another the way we are today.

Men do not have the ability to conceive and inspire through the creation of energy. We create with the energy, we are not the creators of the energy.  So if women start doing what they have the power to do and discontinue being imitations of masculinity, our society and generation can rise to its greatest heights once again. And it is the responsibility of us as men to be strong enough to bring this to their attention. Far too many men are willing to just roll over and get fucked by the direction of society. What happened to our warriors? What happened to our voices? What happened to our leaders? I will be addressing us as men more advertently in my next piece.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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11 Things Rich People Do That Poor People Don’t

Although my dating and social development material is necessary for personal growth, I do want to make a point to begin writing about money. Money allows us to date, money affords us greater freedom to be creative, and money allows us to support a family. I recently ran into some research by way of Author Thomas Corley, who documented the daily habits of 233 wealthy people and 128 of those less fortunate for five years. Thomas Corley states that it is not just about what’s going on in business that allow some to build wealth,  it is also their daily habits and activities that are responsible for the reason some are wealthy and some aren’t.

Before I divulge into the research let me just say that there is no guarantee that if you do all these things you will become rich. Nor are these habits all that these people are doing to become rich, but I do believe it’s obvious that the more characteristics you share with the rich the higher your chances of being rich. If you did everything Kobe Bryant did on and off the basketball court, there’s no guarantee you would be as good as him, but you would be a lot better than most. So here are a few things rich people do differently than poor people.

1. 80% of wealthy make Happy Birthday calls vs. 11% of poor.

Anyone familiar with the law of attraction understands that you reap what you sow. Those that go out of their way to “give” are always “given to.” Even if that giving is just warm feelings of appreciation. A smile for someone else today could turn into a dollar for you tomorrow. Money is energy; you give energy helpful to others and you get energy helpful to you.

2. 70% of the wealthy eat less than 300 junk food calories per day. 97% of poor people eat more than 300 junk food calories per day.

Although health is wealth, we are also what we eat. A clean diet produces clean thoughts. A poor diet produces a poor life. There was a time in which people spent 70% of their income on making sure they had access to quality food. Food is our fuel; the better our fuel the better we function, the better we function the more we can accomplish.

3. 23% of wealthy gamble. 52% of poor people gamble.

Do you spend more time sitting around hoping to get lucky or putting in the time, energy, and effort to create your own luck? Although gambling can be fun and entertaining amongst those with self discipline, the wealthy to tend to look for areas with a higher probability for a ROI when using their money for the purpose of getting money.

4. 81% of wealthy maintain a to-do list vs. 19% for poor.

An organized thinker has an organized life. One that keeps track of their money always has money, just as one that keeps track of their daily activities tend to get more done than those that don’t. The more you get done the more wealth you can create.

5. 63% of wealthy parents make their children read 2 or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3% for poor.

If a man doesn’t grow mentally his pockets do not grow financially. When we educate ourselves we increase our capacity to create for others. The more we create for others the more will be given to us by others.

6.  88% of wealthy read 30 minutes or more each day for education or career reasons vs 2% for poor.

I want to connect 5 and 6 because I find these numbers to be alarming. Just 2 and 3 percent of those that aren’t rich are actively reading educational material? 30 minutes isn’t at all much; many of us spend 30 minutes day dreaming about things we won’t remember everyday.  By turning that time into just 30 minutes of reading, wealth can be added to our lives.

7. 6% of wealthy say what’s on their mind vs. 69% for poor.

I was always taught that the more you know the less you’ll say. The rich spend more of their time showing you what they know as opposed to injecting their opinion  and talking about what they know. Actions speak louder than words; actions pay more than words as well.

8. 6% of wealthy watch reality TV vs. 78% for poor.

TV isn’t just entertainment. We are all products of our diets. What we put in our mouth, what we listen to with our ears, what we watch with our eyes, and so forth.  Most reality TV Stars aren’t what you would call rich or wealthy. If we want riches and wealth we must watch those with wealth and listen to those with wealth. We become like that which we surround ourselves with.

9. 44% of wealthy wake up 3 hours before work starts vs. 3% for poor.

Early bird gets the worm? You’ll have more than the person you are doing more than. The earlier you rise the more you can accomplish.

10. 63% of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to work vs. 5% for poor people.

We can spend our time being entertained or we can spend our time learning. It is often said that smart phones are making us dumb, but this is not true. The way we use smart phones is what’s making us dumb. Are we using it an empowerment tool or as an escape from a life we are not comfortable with?

11. 84% of wealthy believe good habits create opportunity luck vs. 4% for poor.

This ties back into the gambling one above. Wealth is created by good habits just as health is created by good habits. The more good we put out the more good we will draw back in. When we find someone thats deemed “lucky” most don’t know that they often take part in a lot of healthy habits privately that attract their luck.

In closing, character is both defined by what we do when people are watching and when people are not. Those with the strongest character tend to have the strongest capacity to attract that which they want. It’s not always wealth, as everyone doesn’t have desire to be wealthy. But we should all have a desire to be the best us that we can be. Improving in the areas of life that we value so that we can increase our contribution to society. We weren’t created to be drones staring at lit up cell phones looking for entertainment. We were created to serve and be served by others. And the better our service, the more we will reap from those which we serve.

If you are interested in more material from the founder of this research visit his direct website by clicking here.

Thank You for Reading.

Dating & Social Development Coach ‘Eddie Fews


For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com – ask about my free 20 minute consultation.

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Now by Clicking Here 

Social Changes To Improve Social Success

I watched an interview not too long ago where I was reminded of a time when I was recently confronted with energy from a social situations negative affect on my level of productivity. If you own a copy , The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom you would have read the law on the numbing of our everyday senses. This is especially true in large cities such as my own (New York City). We as people are constantly being bombarded with information, bright lights, foul smells, loud noises, etc. that are so unnatural to humanity that they are slowly but surely destroying our capacity to FEEL. The numbing happens so gradually that one cannot fathom what is even going on, unless they “resensitize” themselves to their environment. Anyone that has ever gained or lost weight can tell you that without photos of themselves or the changing number on the scale they could not notice the difference between their body when they were just 10-15 pounds lighter or heavier. That is largely due to the fact that we are with ourselves and looking at ourselves daily. It’s a challenging thing to follow, besides the majority of our perception of our external is due to the emotional state of our internal. Ever feel really great in an outfit one day and then feel shitty in it just a couple weeks later? The outfit didn’t change and neither did our bodies, the only difference now is the mindset.

So, as I have been resensitizing, I had been able to pick the influence subtle energies had been having over how I’ve been feeling throughout my everyday life.

Just recently I decided to begin a new routine where I would begin taking my work out of the home to great cafes in affluent parts of New York City. While working from home I would often find myself working from the bed, falling asleep every other hour and getting ‘ just enough to get by’ amounts of work done. While working in areas surrounded by other workers I became influenced by the collective energy of productivity. I had yet to develop a work space in my home and considering my neighborhood, the energy that radiated throughout my building/neighborhood was not exactly one of wealth builders and productive personal. So I purchased my monthly metro card and vowed to head outside of the house a minimum of 5 days a week to the best neighborhoods New York have to offer.

When I first made the decision, I was very much excited. The simple thought of a new routine that would bring a higher level of wealth and positive energy into my life had my mind racing with new ideas and personal goals. I jumped up, got dressed, threw a good unread book and my Macbook into my business bag and ran for the door. When I got to the front of my building I was confronted by a well-known lethargic resident with a zest for conversation about sports and rap music. A mid-forties man with a good heart who had never really accomplished much; nor did he ever appear to have a desire to. He is content where he is and that is fine for anyone who wants to live this way. I’ve always considered him an acquaintance and whenever he would see me he couldn’t wait to stop me to discuss the latest hip-hop and sports news and this time was no different.

As I exited the front door he delightfully called out “Yo man… did you see any new rap battles lately!?”, I respond politely, trying my best to hold onto all of the new ideas I came up with just before leaving the house “Nah not yet… what’s a good one to watch?”. We go back and forth a bit and before you knew it I was sucked in! Ten minutes had passed and I was still here talking about things that weren’t going to get me anywhere. At around the fifteenth minute I had begun to feel like going back up stairs and taking a nap. I honestly had forgotten all of the ideas and all of the passion that I once had to tackle my new routine, had dissipated all at once. At this moment I realized that I had begun to share energy with the fellow that I was speaking with. Some of my passion had naturally diffused into him and some of his lethargy had naturally diffused into me energetically.

It’s no surprise that we hear statements like “He’s a product of his environment” and “A man is a combination of the five people he spends the most of his time around”. It’s all the subtle distribution of energies going from one person into the other and so on. And as soon as I had this realization I instantly looked at my “former” neighborhood acquaintance and said “Hey man… I gotta go”. I hauled off still feeling unmotivated and lethargic, but just an hour afterward my ideas and passion had begun to return. I was back with a vision and a new perspective on social interactions.

We as people must understand that we are not just what we eat, but we are what we consume through all of our senses. Every sense is collecting information for the brain and thus telling it how to respond to its environment. Just as the eyes adjust to allow more light in so one can see in a dark room, the mind and energetic vibrations of our bodies adjust to the people we share energy with. The body is made to adapt to its environment, whether for the better or for the worst.

The music we listen to is a part of our diets. The noises from the environment around us is a part of our diets. A man living in a home in which there is much debate and quarrel is consuming the energy from the quarrel from the ears without even knowing. These things all influence the direction of the mind. These are a part of our ear’s diet.

The programs we watch, the books we read, the posters, and signs on our walls are a part of our eye’s diet. The neighborhoods, the quality of light, the cleanliness etc.  This is why I recommend solar gazing to all who are capable. Staring into the sun has many benefits, but one of the main benefits is its direct source of food for the eyes; and the eyes are closest to our brains. Its brain food; light into the eyes shining directly into the brain.

The food we taste, the drinks we drink all are a part of our mouth and body’s diets. The stomach creates blood from the foods we consume – blood cell create tissues, and tissues come together to make and repair organs. Not to mention our blood is the body fluid that is directly connected to our spirits. Poor blood, because of poor food consumption will result in a poor connection with the spirit.

The comfort around us, the quality of the materials that are on our skin; the plushness of our beds all tell the body whether it should remain in that section or not. When in a cold environment the brain sends signals to the body to seek warmth, and when in a plush environment the brain sends signals to the body to remain present. This is why many have trouble getting out of their ultra comfortable beds in the morning. The body seeks pleasure and comfort and when those things are present, so does the innate motivation to do anything. The bodies being told that it’s in good space.

The smells we take in are all a part of the diet of our noses. Ever walk into a smelly room and are initially disgusted by it until your body is sent the signal from your brain that this is natural and so you smell the smell no more? You have adapted to the smell of the room; the brain has sought to deliver you “comfort” in your current environment. And if the brain is told to seek comfort in the presence of foul smells, it will begin to wire itself to seek this whenever you are away from that which it has taught itself to adapt to. This will have a subtle influence on how the mind is wired to seek “needed”.

And once again, these things all happen so gradually and slowly that it is challenge to notice that any change is taking place. This is why it is important that we resensitize so we can know how we’re being influenced by our external environments. We’ll reengineer our ability to FEEL the subtle changes.

So anyone struggling with a level of motivation can easily create change in their life by switching the environment. Whether that be moving the body some place more influential physically or by changing the signs/posters/music/food/level of comfort around them within the home.

Our circumstances won’t change until we change our entire diets.  And our diets are largely due to what is going on in our environments.

One love.

Eddie Fews  


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here