Dear Femininity, Men Want You Back

My last article was on the subject of men and women holding each other to higher standards, so we can each begin to improve the quality of ourselves, each other, and the quality of mates we’re attracting into our lives.

I had received a great deal of emails from women thanking me for giving them hope, saying things like “Thank you, I now know that it’s okay not to settle for less than what I deserve”. And while I agree with them, I can’t help but notice a common theme amongst the women of the 21st century.

You ready for it?

I find that many women lack the feminine version of the qualities that they desire in a man; and also, their desire to be liked for the same reasons that they like a man. The high-majority of women who I speak with day to day, are completely out of touch with what it is that attract men, and what it is that men desire. And so they are continually frustrated, because we as men are not attracted to them for the same reasons that they are attracted to us.

For example:

I meet a lot of these successful independent women who say things like “I have my Master’s degree, I make over $100,000 dollars a year, I can fend for myself, why can’t I find a decent man?” And what these women don’t realize is that men are not biologically programmed to look at a woman for what she can provide. So the amount of money a woman makes a year means absolutely nothing to the biological reasons that men find women attractive. I would even go so far as to say that any man who is looking to a woman for what she can provide isn’t a man. That’s not how “men” are wired. Women are biologically programmed to look at a man for what he can provide, the same way they look toward a man biologically as a figure of protection. Real men (in my dame dash voice) do not operate this way. A man should not look for his woman to protect him. Imagine a man saying to a group of his friends “Yo… I love my girl man. Last night she killed a big ass spider for me. I was scared as shit. I screamed and she just jumped up and killed it. She’s dope“.

Ladies… what would you do if there was an intruder in the home and your man hid underneath the bed and asked you if you could go out and deal with it? You would probably lose every nanobyte of respect and attraction for that man. Why does that happen? Because biologically you are wired to look to a man as a figure of strength who could protect you if he could.

Ever go on a date with a man who just doesn’t make you feel “safe”? Were you attracted to that man? Of course not.

So why is it that women get into this habit of expecting us to like them for the same reasons that they like us?

I’ll have a woman say something like “Eddie… I love you” and I will genuinely say “thank you” in appreciation that she has expressed herself to me in such a way, and do you know what she’ll say?  “Why didn’t you say that you loved me too?” I’ll say “Why do you love me?” She’ll usually say something like “because you’re so funny, wise, and insightful”. I’ll respond genuinely “So why should I love you ‘too’ because I’m funny, wise and insightful? You saying that you love me right now is predicated upon how you feel in this moment. Why do you expect me to love you in this moment the same way you love me, when you’re not doing the same things I am doing in this moment to be loved?”

The problem is, many women I speak with have completely lost touch with what it is that men want and find attractive. With all of the studying they do on men, they still somehow can’t wrap their head around this concept.

So I wrote this piece as a call to women to begin checking whether or not they are the feminine version of that which a man is looking for.

If I make a $100,000 a year and you make $100,000 a year, and one of the reasons you “like me” is because I do decent financially, and I would be able to provide for you if I had too, that doesn’t mean that I am suppose to like you equally for making the hundred thousand dollars.

I say this because, I am not programmed biologically to like you for your ability to provide. We are not equal in terms of attraction in that regard. My $100,000 means something to you biologically – something to the core of your nature. But, your $100,000 means absolutely nothing to me biologically – nothing to the core of my nature. Financial security has nothing to do with the core reasons that I feel attraction for a woman.

A man will approach the girl coming out of McDonalds, with the same type of intensity and desire as the woman walking down Wall Street. If she possesses and has developed/cultivated the qualities that attract him biologically, the money that she makes doesn’t mean a thing.

I want to repeat this again… Any man who feels attraction for you because of how well you do financially is NOT a man. And you will find yourself not attracted to him, and at constant war with him after the honeymoon phase.  The man that you want, if you are in tune with your femininity, is the man that will hold you to the standards of what attracts him biologically.

So I agree that a woman should hold the men to the standard of being able to provide if necessary, and a man should hold women to the standard of being that which he finds attractive – which I’ll get into in a second.

This is not some outdated way of thinking… this is our nature. This is what has allowed us to function for thousands of years in harmony. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the world is currently being destroyed at alarming rates, and the natural fabric of how a man and woman function naturally together is also being destroyed. I believe these extremely high divorce rates, lack of couples getting married, and just unhappy relationships in general, are all a product of this confusion. And each gender is pointing the finger at the other without us realizing what the problem actually is. We are being socially conditioned away from out nature and it is destroying the reasons that we come together.

I now ask the reader… “How many people do you know that you can legit say are in a healthy and happy relationship?”

It’s gotten so bad that break up and divorces have become the norm. We almost expect it now. How often do you expect your guy and girl friends’ boyfriend/girlfriends to stay together? I find many people counting the seconds until it’s over. I know that when I was in high school and the girl I crushed on got into a relationship, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot.

So what is it that men want? Now just as being able to “provide” and being able to “protect” is just two of the many aspects that women are naturally programmed to look for in a man, I will provide two of the many aspects that men are programmed to look for in a woman. For more aspects feel free to send me an email and I can speak with you on this.

1. The Visual – Most women have a difficult time wrapping their heads around this because they believe that they are visual too. And they’re not. At least not in the way that men are visual. For an example of the difference you can watch the videos below:

The Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8

The Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUy3_kBme4M

The videos show the difference in the male versus the female reaction to being catfished. In the first video men speak with a woman on tinder who’s, fit and slender, but when she appears on the date she is about 100 pounds heavier than she was in the photo. The same thing happens in the second video; but this time its women meeting up with a guy they thought was in shape, but turns out to be 100 pounds heavier than his photo.

In this video, the women are all a lot more open to giving the overweight “deceiver” a chance than the men are to giving the overweight deceiving woman a chance. The men in the video are practically incapable of functioning. They just can’t handle or look beyond the visual. They ask no further questions, they’re completely uncomfortable and can see nothing else. The women on the other hand are open to see who this guy is, why he may have lied, and if he is someone they can at least be friends with. Someone they can possibly encourage or help. The men… well they took off running.

Now why do you think this is? If you read the comments on the video you will see that a lot of women were offended that the men didn’t respond in the fashion in which they would have responded. Which completely breaks down the reason why I am writing this piece. Men are not attracted to and/or open to women for the same reasons that women are attracted to and/or open to men. 

Let’s take Cleopatra for example: it is said that the key to Cleopatra’s consistent ability to seduce some of the most powerful men in the world in that time, is because of her understanding of the male visual. She would completely seduce and dazzle the men of that time with the visual; Robert Greens “The Art of Seduction” even quotes:

“Only one image of Cleopatra survives – A barley visible profile on a coin, but we have numerous written descriptions. She had a long thin face and a somewhat pointed nose; her dominate features were her wonderfully large eyes. Her seductive power however, did not lie in her looks – indeed many among the women of Alexandria were considerately more beautiful than she. What she did have above all women was the ability to distract a man. In reality, Cleopatra was physically unexceptional and had no political power, yet both Caesar and Mark Anthony, brave and clever men saw none of this. What they saw was a woman who constantly transformed herself before their eyes, a one-woman spectacle. Her dress and make up changed from day to day, but always gave her a heightened goddess like appearance […] by the time your head lay on the pillow beside her, your mind was spinning with images and dreams […] you never possessed Cleopatra, you worshiped her […] From Cleopatra we learn that it is not beauty that makes a seductress/siren, but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man’s fantasies […] A man is easily deceived by appearances ; he has weakness for the visual. Create the physical presence of a siren (heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner) and he is trapped. He cannot grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you. Keep up the distractions and never let him see who you really are. He will follow you until he drowns. “

Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar are both men that could have had access to the most attractive women of all kinds and creeds across the entire planet. But it was Cleopatra, “A woman that had been exiled from Egypt” with the understanding of the male visual that gave her access to the most powerful men the world had to offer. These men even neglected their responsibility and duties within their own country to remain with her in Egypt. Mark Anthony had even known all about how she had seduced Caesar and brought down his kingdom and he still found himself unable to resist her. Think about that… (I’d encourage any woman further interested in this topic to look up the book “The Art of Seduction” and the chapter titled “The Siren” which is the first chapter of the book)

2. The Desire to Feel Powerful – I spoke about this in my Go Pro radio interview  a bit more extensively, but to paraphrase… All men have this innate desire to feel as if they are kings of the earth. To Feel Powerful. The more testosterone the male has, the stronger his desire for this. It is what drives a man to want the most attractive woman to parade around and show off, and it is what drives him to want to make the most money. It is a symbol to other men that he is the most dominant and powerful one of them all. All masculine mammals in nature have this battle. There is always one male that has to rise to be the Alpha male of the group. It is even said that in some species of male animals just 5% of the males produce 95% of the children of that species. Imagine if humans were like that? Well… I can’t say that we’re that much different. I’ve heard that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. There is a masculine desire within each of us to want to dominate and conquer as much as we can. Testosterone even works as an agent to nullify oxytocin which will prevent a man from developing a chemical/emotional bond with the women he has sex with. This is why men can be so detached after sex – especially around a woman whose only way to make a man feel powerful was through the opening of her legs. Once he’s conquered what far too many women hold onto as if it’s some golden ticket that no one else has but them, he will be off to the next conquest. Unless however, a woman comes to terms with the principles that will keep the guy around.

I’ve found that far too many women remain quiet. A man wants to know when he is and how he is affecting you. He needs you to express yourself without the fear that he may or may not be feeling the same.

A woman will text a guy something like “Do you miss me? “ – Which really means she misses him, but she’s not comfortable saying so unless she is sure he feels the same. This is anti-seductive; had she had the self-esteem and confidence to be transparent and just say something like “I miss you. You make me feel so tingly on the inside, I don’t know what to do” she would be sub-communicating to the man that he is powerful. He has the ability to make her miss him and feel tingly.

One of the main reasons why a man likes to have sex is not because of the fifteen second orgasm that he gets when it’s over. It is the moaning, the groaning, and the scratching from his woman that he desires, because that is a sign to him that he is powerful. Having the ability to make a woman moan, groan, and scratch. This is why you can search the internet and find men obsessed over how to please their woman. It is not just to make a woman orgasm, but so that the man himself can feel powerful – knowing he has the ability to give pleasure.

So on the equal level of the visual I find this to be almost of a greater importance. The wives of some of today’s most powerful men on earth are not that physically attractive, but I’m almost certain that they have the ability to make their man feel powerful; and it is probably this ability that inspired the man to have the confidence to take his current position.

Be open, be transparent, and outwardly express how great his ability to affect you is, and the man will crave the words that leave your mouth to no end.

So to wrap this up… I just want the female readers to make sure that they are not trying to be the exact representation of that which they look for in a man. Rather they be the feminine representation of the qualities that men seek from them. If you want a man that makes 25 million dollars a year, just make sure you have a 25 million dollar ability to stimulate him through your visual (not just physical feature) and a 25 million dollar ability to give him dramatic and transparent presentations of what you feel his power to be. Just because a woman is making 25 million, doesn’t mean that she qualifies to get a man that makes 25 million. Because once again, he is not looking at your ability to provide to determine how attracted to you he is. If you want to make lots of money that’s great, but understand that your high level of education and the amount of money you make a year, means little to nothing to a real man’s (one that will make you happy) desire to want you for anything more than just sex.

The society of today has put too much emphasis on masculinity. It’s the only thing highlighted; so much so that many of the women today are being imitations of masculinity. No one talks about the innate power of a woman. It’s almost as if to be a woman is something you should be ashamed of. If we’re going to go forward as a society, I think it’s important that we begin to highlight both the power of a woman and exactly what that power is so that little girls can desire to be that which is closest to their nature.

It is through a great woman’s visual, energetic and transparent verbal stimulation that a man is inspired to rise to the height of his potential. Which is why the statement “Behind every great man, is a great woman” is something I whole heartily agree with. We need each other, and we need you to join us, and not compete with us so that we can live in harmony. How many of our great leaders were without a woman? Women are the divine energy. They are the inspiration for all creation on this planet. Men just take the energy that they give us and put it into practice. But it is the woman who gives birth to the energy to begin with. She conceives it, she gives it life, – the man raises it, and creates the physical manifestation of it. We are to come together as a team, each with our own role to become ONE complete body together. We aren’t meant to compete with one another the way we are today.

Men do not have the ability to conceive and inspire through the creation of energy. We create with the energy, we are not the creators of the energy.  So if women start doing what they have the power to do and discontinue being imitations of masculinity, our society and generation can rise to its greatest heights once again. And it is the responsibility of us as men to be strong enough to bring this to their attention. Far too many men are willing to just roll over and get fucked by the direction of society. What happened to our warriors? What happened to our voices? What happened to our leaders? I will be addressing us as men more advertently in my next piece.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

Cold Showers Will Increase Your Success

Attract Beautiful Women By Taking Cold Showers

Cold showers have been scientifically proven to improve multiple aspects of our physical and mental health. The ancient samurai warriors used to pour buckets of cold river water on their heads every morning in a Shinto practice called Misogi. This was a purification ritual on a spiritual level. They believed that it cleansed their spirit and helped them start a new day & new adventure fresh. The Spartans You know those Ripped up scarlet cape wearing soldiers from the movie 300) felt warm water was for the weak and unmasculine. The original James Bond stories noted that he would begin his showers warm and end them with a few minutes of cold water.

In the 1820s, a German farmer named Vincenz Priessnitz started touting a new medical treatment called “hydrotherapy,” which used cold water to cure everything from broken bones to erectile dysfunction. He turned his family’s homestead into a sanitarium, and patients flocked to it in the hope that his cold water cure could help them. Among his clientele were dukes, duchesses, counts, countesses, and a few princesses to boot.

Many cultures throughout history have used cold showers to improve multiple aspects of their lives. Here in this new aged lifestyle, we’ve become to comfortable with the luxury of Hot Showers that we have forgot some of our ancient practices that have provided great overall benefits to our well-being.

Benefits of Cold Showers

Weight Loss/ Brown Fat:

People who take cold showers experience an increase in brown fat cells, which protect from aging; fight obesity, diabetes, and heart disease

Brown fat = special fat cells that have, unlike white fat cells, high concentrations of mitochondria and, therefore, are able to generate heat without any muscular activity. Brown fat concentrations are very high in new borns and infants, but gradually decline with age due to an absence of cold stimulation in the general population.

Brown fat cells burn glucose in an attempt to create as much heat energy as possible. A higher ammount of these cells within the body will lead to more energy being burned per second, meaning more unnecessary weight being released from the body. Many people within our culture today have been seeking to improve that rate of their metabolism because it means that every process within the body will become more efficient  causing more weight to be released and more growth/restoration of muscle tissue to occur.

Strengthens Immunity

Cold showers are sometimes touted as a preventative tonic for colds, flu, and infections. An experiment in Prague studied the effect of cold water immersions on athletic young men. They immersed themselves in water at 14°C (57°F), three times a week for six weeks. Among many changes, they saw increased levels of two types of white blood cells: monocytes and lymphocytes. While certain lymphocytes are instrumental in eliminating bacteria, viruses, and toxins; monocytes are indirectly responsible for the engulfing and consuming of pathogens and foreign materials. Researchers believe that the increased metabolic rate, which results from the body’s attempt to warm itself up, activates the immune system and releases more white blood cells in response. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that people who take regular cold showers are less likely to develop colds, flu’s, and even some forms of cancer.

Clear Radiant Skin

When you shower with warm water, it opens up your pores. Then you wash and this cleans up your pores. That’s all good. When you end, it would be best to close your pores and cold water does just that. It’s good to close your pores after you are all cleaned up because it will prevent the pores from being easily clogged by dirt and oil, which causes skin imperfections such as acne for example. Another benefit is that cold water makes your blood vessels constrict which reduces swelling and the appearance of dark circles under your eyes (where skin is at its thinnest). This provides you with a young, healthy glow.

Shiny healthy Hair

Cold water makes your hair look healthier and shinier. As a matter of fact, cool air makes your hair shinier too (that’s why there is a cool air button on your hair dryer). What the cold water does is that it closes the cuticle which makes the hair stronger and prevents dirt from easily accumulating within your scalp. Basically, the same principle with how it closes the pores of your skin as mentioned above. Stronger hair, of course, prevents hair from being easily pulled out when you are combing, and it helps in slowing down overall hair loss.

Kills Depression

Cold showers release chemicals into the body to decrease stress, anxiety, and genuinely just make you feel happier. A cold shower will wake up the body, mind, spirit, and you will be fully prepared to take on whatever challenges the day will set before you.

Increase Of Testosterone

With male testosterone at an all time low (which could be due to all the soy intake that’s going today. Soy turns male testosterone into estrogen; which is why many men who drink and eat soy often experience a flabby woman like chest. Check underneath the ingredients label on your favorite foods, you’ll be surprised how many of them say Contains: Soy Ingredients) cold showers are a great way to give your body a natural boost of testosterone without using those new testosterone injects and creams. Cold water will increase testosterone and the libido; not only does one’s sex increase, but so does one’s overall strength and energy levels.

Save You Time/Money

As we are all aware of, the price of oil is on the rise and by taking cold showers you are not only saving yourself money but you are preserving one of the earths most valuable resources. Also if you take a cold shower you won’t be spending unnecessary time standing under warm water in comfort, inhaling toxic fumes from the evaporated chlorine and fluoride in the water. So if you won’t take colder showers for yourself, at least do it for humanitarian reasons.

More Benefits

Cure For Insomnia.

Cold showers calm the mind and body so intensely that one will often find himself sleeping like a baby after taking a cold shower at night.

Regulates temperature (Meaning there will be no more chronically cold hands or feet, or excessive sweating).

Improves kidney function.

Strengthens the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems.

Contracts the muscles to eliminate toxins and poisonous wastes.

Strengthens the mucous membranes, which help resist hay fever, allergies, colds, coughs.

Brings blood to the capillaries, therefore increasing circulation throughout the body.

Improves hormonal activity.

I have personally been taking cold showers for a little over a year now and I honestly have to say I’ve never looked or felt better in my entire life. I have this theory that if I can wake up every morning and jump into a cold shower, the toughest part of my day will already be out of the way – the rest is a breeze. Cold showers have also effected the way I deal with my nerves; being able to ignore all the mental resistance/anxiety about jumping into a cold shower is not very different to ignoring the anxiety you feel before approaching a woman. Which is why I want to invite all of you Players and Playerettes to be out there to take on the 21 Day Cold Shower Challenge  You can even track your progress and relate to others who are during the same challenge within the Player Chronicle section of the forums. I would also advise taking before and after pictures so you can see the significant changes within your hair, skin and body; not to mention you will feel absolutely amazing.

The 21 Day Cold Shower Challenge invites you on a course that can permanently change your life for the better. All that is required is for you to take two cold showers a day – One in the morning and one before bed. The first three days are always the toughest, but after that you’ll be singing tunes and dancing around in the cold water like a true champ.

I’m looking forward to reading about your results…Peace & Love

By Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here