How To Not Be Desperate

I’ll be turning more of the advice I give into articles –  it’s a lot of information that can be helpful to more than just the person in the emails I give it to. This is from a guy that asked me about a remedy for his desperation.

Hey Eddie,

Are there any books, videos, guides etc. that can help me start the long journey of destroying being desperate etc.

I think subconsciously I give it off to girls (even though I am very aware of it and actively think about it with every move I take with girls)

I know no book or video can 100% help you…but it’s a start and I am sure there are deeper issues at stake here.

Any advice would be greatly helpful.

Thanks

Being desperate doesn’t take place in action; desperation is all a reflection of the vibe you are giving off to a woman. The energy you are sub-communicating, and if you’re consciously thinking about every move thats another clear sign of desperation. There is no need to impress with anything other than the audacity and boldness you had to approach the women the way you did and begin conversation. I’ve never been into doing magic tricks and bending over backwards to get a girl to like me. I’m not a performer, I’m an attractive male offering emotional and attractive conversation. Take it – go on this emotional journey with me, or leave it and resume the life you were living before me.

The root of my audacity is the fact that to the core of my being I believe I possess something that everyone needs in their lives. Every woman and every man. I have the ability to transform the life of anyone that crosses my path, and its possible that maybe I don’t, but I believe that I do and thats what makes me attractive.

Your desperation is all a result of the core beliefs you have about yourself. How worthy you feel your contribution to social interactions to be. A man thats feels talentless and worthless will never get out there and make any impact on the world because to his core he doesn’t believe that he has anything to offer the world. And a man that believes he is of low value and women don’t NEED him in their lives will not have much drive to get out there and approach any of them.

Even this post here.. You asked for videos and books, but I believe that I could write you a post an completely change your outlook on how you feel about desperation – which can trigger a drive to make a change. Will it change your life? Maybe. Maybe not?  But I believe I have the ability to, and thats whats driving me to jock away at this keyboard.

Desperation is all a mindset. And the way you change a mindset is to fill it with new information that is the opposite of the current state that it is in. For example: What do you look up on search engines? A needy desperate guy searches, ” Why do women think I’m so desperate? ” – And what he will get in return is a bunch of information to back up and reinforce the reason he is viewed as desperate. An attractive man or a man that wants to be attractive thinks and searches ” Guide to being completely awesome and having a life of abundance ” – And he will run into information that will back that statement. So long as you search what you are and ask questions about what you are you will stay that way. You want to change? Begin asking questions about that which you want to be. That’ll help you get there.

Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits become our destiny.

You thought yourself into your situation and you can think yourself out of it. Put energy and thought into your change, the more you put in the more you get out. Saying to yourself in the mirror ” I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this universe” a thousand times isn’t half as affective as taking a paper and writing it down it thousand times. Change isn’t going to come over night nor will it come from reading all day. Take active steps in making a change in your life. You must DO something.

Its like getting in shape.. If you want to get a 6 pack you have to exercise, eat right, drink water etc. consistently for 3-6 months to get one. And depending on your physical shape when you started, it maybe longer than that. So you have to ask yourself what is your emotional condition. Are you 300 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Or are you 180 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Your emotional weight will impact the length of time you will have to actively contribute to your change ( Thinking new thoughts, reading new information, writing it on paper, saying it in the mirror, praying about it, meditating on it, etc. etc.)

Work for the change you want and understand that it’s possible that it may take a few years for you to get there. This is the microwave age, but no sustaining change comes without dedication and consistency.

Where Do I Start ?

For and foremost let me say I think its important for each man to divulge into his own creativity to come up with physical, mental, and spiritual exercises that he can do to improve his condition based off of the material I wrote above.  The more of YOU the task that you apply to improve your condition the more focused the energy being applied to situation; causing a faster and stronger improvement.
But here are a few examples..
  1. As Stated Above, Grab a pencil and a notebook and spend a hour or more (The more you put in the greater the transition) writing down “ I am fun, loving and attractive. “ – “ I possess a grand sense of humor and a irresistible charm. “ “ I Love women and women love me” – “ I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this planet.
Spend hours writing the above. Start with an hour a day. Treat it like a Job and get it done habitually. Your friends want to play videos? You stay home unless you’ve done your hour. This has to be more important to you than leisure if it is actually want you want.
Look yourself in the mirror and say the above, over and over. Tell yourself you’re the most attractive man on earth. Say it over and over it until you believe your new truth.
Meditate on the statements above, sit still close your eyes and repeat the phrases like those over and over again for 20 minutes.
This all becomes apart of the collective energy you are contributing into your change and you reap what you so. And most importantly, create your own statements, create your own affirmations. Don’t depend on my thinking process, dig down deep within yourself and pull out quotes from the man that you’re on your journey to be.
Get creative, because it will get boring, but in 6 months – 2 years (depending on where you are) it will all be worth it.
Own Your Destiny.

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For Personal Consultation via Skype Phone & IM – For one on one coaching email me at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com 

Take Control Over Your Emotion

After dealing with student after student who’s fallen in love and lost all connection with logic, it has come to my understanding that I need give my opinion on love and why its important to view it objectively. This so-called seduction community is full of men who want to get women, but what happens when they actually get with the women? They get over emotional, they ask for advice, and the men in the community tell them to just move onto another girl. So thats the advice? Get the girls and then just move on when you can no longer handle it? I’d like to meet the guru who first established this tactic.

Imagine you knew little to nothing about cars, but you bought a car anyway. The gas tank was on full when you bought it, so you go off driving. You’re having the time of your life and then all of a sudden the car slows down and eventually comes to a stop. At this point you have no idea whats going on – this was a perfectly good vehicle just moments ago. So you call the guy who sold you the car and you say “ Hey man, the car just stopped.. Its not working like it once was. What do I do? “ and he says “ Oh. This is when you just get a new car” . You reply “ I invested money into this car!” and all he can say is “ It didn’t work out with this one. You just have to get a new one “.

Thats is what is being taught in the seduction community. When things don’t work out with a girl; just move on and get a new one. No one is teaching us about gas and gas stations.  And like the car analogy, no matter what car you get; they’ll all eventually run out of gas. With the understanding of what gas is and how to refill the car with gas, you’ll be able to drive any quality car for as long as you please.

Welcome to exxon mobile.

So the question is “ What Is Love? “

The answers can always get deeper, but I think on a surface level we can all agree that love is an emotion. Right?

Love is an emotion just as fear is an emotion; like anger is an emotion etc.

So lets put love aside for a moment and discuss another emotion; one we can all relate to… Lets talk about fear.

I would go deep into what fear is, but I don’t feel a need to reinvent the wheel. This guy below pretty much nails it. Watch this and we’ll continue

 

F.E.A.R – False Evidence Appearing Real

“ Your fear is always about whats going to happen next. That means your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non existent, your fear is one hundred percent imaginary. If you’re suffering from the non existential, we call that insanity. “

Socially acceptable levels of insanity…

How many of us are constantly afraid of our own imagination?

How many of us are suffering from our own emotions?

So wouldn’t that mean that having a fear about approaching a woman is a mild form of insanity. What is it exactly that we’re afraid of? In what way does that fear serve us?

We have to begin to observe our fears and eliminate the ones that serve no purpose what so ever. Purposeless fear is true insanity. For example: a man that is afraid to stand on the edge of a rooftop certainly hasn’t lost his mind. He fears potentially slipping and ruining his life. So the fear of heights on a mild level is useful to protect whoever has that fear from danger – understandable; the fear serves a purpose. Now what if that fear got out of control. What if the fear of heights grew so big that one couldn’t even be on the inside of a tall building? We would then view that man as insane. So this brings me to the big question concerning fear(which is an emotion just as LOVE is an Emotion). Is this mans fear of being inside a tall building valid? Just because his emotion is telling him that it is dangerous to be inside the building, does that mean that it is in fact dangerous? Surely it doesn’t, it is just something his own subconscious created within him for one reason or another. You following?

Now what about the people lost in love? Sure love is great; falling in love feels great, I’m not talking about the people who are healthily in love. The emotion serves a purpose in healthy situations. It allows there to be a amorous bond between two people which allows them to come together and potentially build a family to further the human population. It affords them happiness, passion, meaning to life, and so many other things. But here I’m talking about the men and women who are in destructive relationships and assume that just because they FEEL an emotion; it means that they must follow that feeling. Its insanity, just like the example of the man above who is afraid to enter a tall building.

I believe all feelings have to be monitored. We have to begin to understand them for what they are. They are just FEELINGS, and only have purpose when we attribute it to them. A mans stage freight doesn’t mean that he doesn’t belong on stage, an angered man feeling like physically attacking the person in front of him does not mean he should, and just because you feel emotionally drawn to a woman or man that does not mean that you have to be with them.

Emotions help us interpret life; emotions are not interpretations of life.

I was once the guy that let his emotions get the best of him with women far too often. It was a routine for me; I was constantly falling in love and thinking that just because I felt the need to call a girl ten times back to back when she didn’t answer that I had to. I lacked self control; and because I let my emotions get the best of me. The women in my life lost respect for me and my emotional immaturity began to push them away. It wasn’t until enough trail and error that something finally clicked in my brain. I realized that the emotions that were occurring in my body were just FEELINGS, nothing more – JUST FEELINGS. I began to understand the importance of being objective about the meaning I would attribute to these emotions. I was then able to figure out which ones were healthy to act on, and which ones would be a burden to others to act on. This allowed me some level of mastery over myself and the women in my life all once began to develop a richer level of respect for me as a man. They viewed me as someone they could turn to when there emotions were on the rise. I was no longer a burden to them, I was one who could show them how to prevent themselves from being a burden to others.

If you take anything from this, understand that emotions are simply feelings to help us get through life. They are not the meaning of life. Lets begin to evaluate our emotions and figure out which ones have purpose and which ones do not. Not all feelings of love have purpose, just as not all feelings of fear, jealousy, and anger have purpose. Act on the feelings that  have been adding value to your life and find creative ways to channel the ones that do not. And just remember that your FEELING of emotions at times can mean absolutely nothing. Consciously control the subconscious; because it will try its best to subconsciously control you.

Peace & Love   


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.