The Power In A Proper Compliment

There has been a myth going around the seduction community for some time that you should never compliment a woman on her looks. That instead you should point out something unique that a guy doesn’t usually compliment her on to get her attention. While I agree that an indirect compliment will definitely lift a woman’s spirits, I can’t help but laugh at the guys who are afraid to acknowledge a woman’s beauty. And I won’t even bother addressing the men who think they have to NEG – say something negative to knock an attractive woman off her high horse just to get her attention. I would only advise the men on that level of social immaturity to get a horse of their own before they even think about connecting with the opposite sex. But back to the subject at hand..

I believe that a proper compliment based solely off of a woman’s looks is the best way to connect with her. Women carry purses that are usually filled with items to touch up their appearance( make up, mirrors, etc.) which only suggest that they worry about what they look like a lot more than men do. What better way to ease the mind of a woman than to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry about how she is begin perceived at that moment. Having put her mind at ease, she can now contemplate other matters.. perhaps even.. YOU?

Now there is a catch..

The compliment certainly has to be unique and more than unique it has to be genuine. A compliment such as “ You’re beautiful/sexy/hot/cute/pretty” is unreacted to for several reasons.

Reason #1

It’s obvious-She hears this ALL the time.

Reason #2

When you say “ You’re beautiful” you are stating it as if it is a fact. While YOU may perceive her as beautiful she may be the complete opposite to someone else. Now although she may hear the word beautiful all the time; changing “ You’re beautiful “ to “ I THINK you are beautiful “ will get you a completely different reaction – I guarantee it.

Reason #3

There is no YOU in this compliment. What more is she supposed to say other than “ Thank You ” while walking away. Exactly how do the men that walk around calling women “hot” expect them to respond? Did you think they will lean into you and start making out with you? Grab your hand, take out a pen, and write their phone number on it? In what reality does this happen and why is it that the urban man sits around waiting for miracles instead of making them happen. This is your life; waiting will only get you what waiting has already gotten you.. Which is what?

Women wear tight dresses, high heels, and even walk the way they do because they WANT to be viewed as attractive. They want some guy to be confident enough in both himself and her to compliment her beauty without fear. So compliment her beauty relentlessly, do so with passion, high energy and she’ll love for you it.

The trick to successfully complimenting a woman’s looks is to state how the way she looks is making YOU feel. She doesn’t want to know she is attractive as much as she wants to know how much her attractiveness is affecting YOU. This is about YOU, this isn’t about her looking a certain way; it’s about her beauty filling YOU with fire and desire from the inside out. No woman can resist a man confident enough to express how tempted he is to give into weakness because of her beauty.

I’ll give you an example..

Back when I experimented with the online dating thing, I realized that all men would do is compliment a woman on her looks and the women hated it. Why? Because they weren’t doing it the proper way. They would all say “ Hey Beautiful, Hey sexy, you’re hot etc. “. Now as you stated before, they could of received more responses if they said “ I think you’re sexy, I think you’re hot etc “, but I decided to take a different approach. I was going to describe in one or two lines how the way a woman looked was making me feel. I never had to read profiles.. I would just monitor my emotions while looking at their pictures and just describe this to them.

One of my favorite lines was “ damn girl..you make me wanna knit the both of us matching sweaters.“

I could send that to ten girls and get seven responses, because I was stating how the way she looked was making me FEEL.

A proper compliment tailored to a woman’s looks also does something powerful for your benefit. Not only will paying a woman a proper compliment heighten the way she perceives herself, but it will also heighten the way she perceives you. We’ve all heard the expression “ It takes one to know one “ and people are only mirrors of ourselves after all. When you comment to a person on anything they subconsciously think it must have something to do with you. So by validating her attractiveness you are also validating your own.

I used to date this girl named Natalia, and boy was she BEAUTIFUL… But she wasn’t always that way. Natalia was my next door neighbor when I lived in the suburbs. And before we were together I would see her from time to time, but I never really thought anything of her. Then one day I had a friend over who came into my house excited saying he had no idea I had such a sexy neighbor. He was also wondering why I had never made a move on her. I told him I didn’t think she was all that cute, and he told me I was crazy. So immaturely I said to myself “ Fine, I’m just going to sleep with her to score some cool points with my boy; not to mention, the idea of sleeping with a next door neighbor is a bit exciting.”

The next day I looked her up on facebook ( we went to high school together, she was three years older) and sent her a message:

Me: Hey, there’s this cute girl that lives in my neighbor hood.. You know her?

Her: (I don’t remember what she said but it was something like..) Haha yeah that’s me 🙂

Me: Dope.. So can I borrow some sugar?

Her: Sure 😉

I think she thought I was joking, but I went right on over, knocked on her door and asked for sugar. She laughed, we talked for a bit and then we exchanged phone numbers. The whole time I am thinking “ This girl is not all that attractive -I’m not even sure I want to go through with this “. But I was on a mission and I was going to complete it. I called her a couple days later, chatted with her for 20 minutes and then invited her over for a back yard picnic. So there we were, hanging out in my backyard, me still thinking she’s not that cute, and then it all started… She went into a mind state where she began describing to me how attractive I was for about fifteen minutes. She had been in a metaphorical cocoon and once the compliments began to rain, she broke out and emerged as a butterfly. My eyes glazed over and I was hers. I ate it up and for the first time since I had seen her I began to view her as all of the things she was telling me I was.

“ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – General Lew Wallace

“ A pimple turns to a dimple when you’re in love” – Japanese Proverb

Long story short

I fell more in love with Natalia that I’ve ever fallen for any woman in my entire life, all because she made a habit of constantly telling me how amazing I was. And as I stated above; subconsciously I would associate all of these great things with her even though my original opinions of her were negative. Her opinions of me, became my opinions of her and she knew this. I had fallen for her, I became emotional over her, and she began looking for a new male the conquer with her silver forked tongue.

There is a lot of power in the compliment and we must also realize that the more compliments we give out to others the more compliments we get in return. Compliments boost both someone else’s confidence and our own so it’s a win-win situation. Just make sure they’re genuine, original and tailed directly to the person. “I like your dress” doesn’t cut it; it’s cliche and heard by someone somewhere every single day. Try “ That dress goes great with the tone of your skin, how did you know to pick that color? “ That’ll open up the person and get the conversation flowing, but just remember that it has to be honest and genuine. If you love women enough, this will all be easy for you. Just begin expressing to them how much you really do LOVE specific things about them and how these things are making you FEEL.

Eddie Fews


 

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Take Control Over Your Emotion

After dealing with student after student who’s fallen in love and lost all connection with logic, it has come to my understanding that I need give my opinion on love and why its important to view it objectively. This so-called seduction community is full of men who want to get women, but what happens when they actually get with the women? They get over emotional, they ask for advice, and the men in the community tell them to just move onto another girl. So thats the advice? Get the girls and then just move on when you can no longer handle it? I’d like to meet the guru who first established this tactic.

Imagine you knew little to nothing about cars, but you bought a car anyway. The gas tank was on full when you bought it, so you go off driving. You’re having the time of your life and then all of a sudden the car slows down and eventually comes to a stop. At this point you have no idea whats going on – this was a perfectly good vehicle just moments ago. So you call the guy who sold you the car and you say “ Hey man, the car just stopped.. Its not working like it once was. What do I do? “ and he says “ Oh. This is when you just get a new car” . You reply “ I invested money into this car!” and all he can say is “ It didn’t work out with this one. You just have to get a new one “.

Thats is what is being taught in the seduction community. When things don’t work out with a girl; just move on and get a new one. No one is teaching us about gas and gas stations.  And like the car analogy, no matter what car you get; they’ll all eventually run out of gas. With the understanding of what gas is and how to refill the car with gas, you’ll be able to drive any quality car for as long as you please.

Welcome to exxon mobile.

So the question is “ What Is Love? “

The answers can always get deeper, but I think on a surface level we can all agree that love is an emotion. Right?

Love is an emotion just as fear is an emotion; like anger is an emotion etc.

So lets put love aside for a moment and discuss another emotion; one we can all relate to… Lets talk about fear.

I would go deep into what fear is, but I don’t feel a need to reinvent the wheel. This guy below pretty much nails it. Watch this and we’ll continue

 

F.E.A.R – False Evidence Appearing Real

“ Your fear is always about whats going to happen next. That means your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non existent, your fear is one hundred percent imaginary. If you’re suffering from the non existential, we call that insanity. “

Socially acceptable levels of insanity…

How many of us are constantly afraid of our own imagination?

How many of us are suffering from our own emotions?

So wouldn’t that mean that having a fear about approaching a woman is a mild form of insanity. What is it exactly that we’re afraid of? In what way does that fear serve us?

We have to begin to observe our fears and eliminate the ones that serve no purpose what so ever. Purposeless fear is true insanity. For example: a man that is afraid to stand on the edge of a rooftop certainly hasn’t lost his mind. He fears potentially slipping and ruining his life. So the fear of heights on a mild level is useful to protect whoever has that fear from danger – understandable; the fear serves a purpose. Now what if that fear got out of control. What if the fear of heights grew so big that one couldn’t even be on the inside of a tall building? We would then view that man as insane. So this brings me to the big question concerning fear(which is an emotion just as LOVE is an Emotion). Is this mans fear of being inside a tall building valid? Just because his emotion is telling him that it is dangerous to be inside the building, does that mean that it is in fact dangerous? Surely it doesn’t, it is just something his own subconscious created within him for one reason or another. You following?

Now what about the people lost in love? Sure love is great; falling in love feels great, I’m not talking about the people who are healthily in love. The emotion serves a purpose in healthy situations. It allows there to be a amorous bond between two people which allows them to come together and potentially build a family to further the human population. It affords them happiness, passion, meaning to life, and so many other things. But here I’m talking about the men and women who are in destructive relationships and assume that just because they FEEL an emotion; it means that they must follow that feeling. Its insanity, just like the example of the man above who is afraid to enter a tall building.

I believe all feelings have to be monitored. We have to begin to understand them for what they are. They are just FEELINGS, and only have purpose when we attribute it to them. A mans stage freight doesn’t mean that he doesn’t belong on stage, an angered man feeling like physically attacking the person in front of him does not mean he should, and just because you feel emotionally drawn to a woman or man that does not mean that you have to be with them.

Emotions help us interpret life; emotions are not interpretations of life.

I was once the guy that let his emotions get the best of him with women far too often. It was a routine for me; I was constantly falling in love and thinking that just because I felt the need to call a girl ten times back to back when she didn’t answer that I had to. I lacked self control; and because I let my emotions get the best of me. The women in my life lost respect for me and my emotional immaturity began to push them away. It wasn’t until enough trail and error that something finally clicked in my brain. I realized that the emotions that were occurring in my body were just FEELINGS, nothing more – JUST FEELINGS. I began to understand the importance of being objective about the meaning I would attribute to these emotions. I was then able to figure out which ones were healthy to act on, and which ones would be a burden to others to act on. This allowed me some level of mastery over myself and the women in my life all once began to develop a richer level of respect for me as a man. They viewed me as someone they could turn to when there emotions were on the rise. I was no longer a burden to them, I was one who could show them how to prevent themselves from being a burden to others.

If you take anything from this, understand that emotions are simply feelings to help us get through life. They are not the meaning of life. Lets begin to evaluate our emotions and figure out which ones have purpose and which ones do not. Not all feelings of love have purpose, just as not all feelings of fear, jealousy, and anger have purpose. Act on the feelings that  have been adding value to your life and find creative ways to channel the ones that do not. And just remember that your FEELING of emotions at times can mean absolutely nothing. Consciously control the subconscious; because it will try its best to subconsciously control you.

Peace & Love   


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.