The 7 Things All Men Need To Stop Doing

Lying To Women

The isn’t a chronological list that’s in order of ” most important to least important” but this first one is more important than any of the others. The bad reputation that is associated with “players” is directly linked back to the lies players have been known to tell in order to get what they want. No one hates the guy that is sexual active and completely honest about it, but we all hate the guy who lies and tries to hide his reputation. This generation more than any other has become aware of how much owning your truth can affect your life. Take a look at someone like charlamange the god(the most popular urban radio personality), he says controversial things all the time and has a bit of a bad reputation. So what allows him to continue to be successful despite his reputation? What allows people that are more world reknown to love and respect him? The fact that he is always honest when he is confronted with the truth. He’s publicly spoke about his penis size and him taking magnum rx pills to try an enlarge it to no avail; along with many other things. And he remains to be accepted because he isn’t ashamed of his decisions.

The past is the past and there is nothing that can be done to change that. Lying about it only lowers your own self worth and confidence. Every time you lie you take a step down in consciousness, and every time you tell the truth you take a step up. People may not always directly know when you’re lying, but they can feel it. There is always a noticeable shift in the vibe when someone gives into weakness and decides to be dishonest.

I find that quality women make a point to bait us into lying when we first approach them; they ask us a question because they want to see if we’re “real” or not. In that moment, they’ll look us into the eye and wait for our response; checking to see if we pass the “real/fake” challenge. Now if we lie, they’ll lose all attraction for us and we’ll find ourselves in a position where we “can’t think of anything to say”. At that point we have to move on to the next girl; or confess our lie and see what happens.

If you deal with quality women you know exactly what i’m talking about, but even if you don’t, this is a good practice that’ll prepare you for the moments when you are.

Telling People Who They Slept With

This is another big one; who you sleep with is your business and your business alone. What you and your girlfriend do behind closed doors is not something to brag to your boys about. Girls gossip, leave that to them; as players we have to have a bit more integrity. Getting laid is no longer some badge of honor; that’s high school stuff. If you feel the need to talk about it, chances are it doesn’t happen to you often.

And I don’t know about you guys, but when a guy tells me all the wild things he’s been doing with his girl it’s a bit of a challenge to view her the same. Naturally you’ll sexualize them in your mind; and I don’t want that for me or any of my friends. Also, when you’re a guy that keep his business on the low; a lot more women will gravitate to you. They’ll feel like they can trust you and they’ll get a bit wilder in the bed with you than they would with the average Joe. It’s all in the vibe you give off and your character(the things you do when no one is watching) effects your vibe. So give off that ” what we do is our business and no one else’s ” vibe and watch how much more attention you’ll get from women.

i.e. Think about Vegas.. the famous quote ” what happens in Vegas stays in vegas” inspires many women every night to get a little loose.

Bros Before Hoes

I love women just as much as the next guy but a lot of these interactions are temporary. What we have with are boys has usually been in place for sometime and has a higher probability of being in place than things in place with women. Think about it.. how many of your boys from the past are you still cool with? How many of the women from your past can you still rely on? That speaks for itself.

Nothing fustrates a guy more when his buddy chooses a woman over his friends. Because if she’s a real girl, someone you can have a sustainable relationship with, you won’t have to choose.

Don’t leave your boy alone to go get laid, don’t sneak around with women he likes behind his back even if he can’t get with them – unless he gives you the green light. There are billions of other women to choose from so your bros must always always come first. This is the rule; friendships hold a lot more value then pussy does.

Keeping Score

I notice that a lot of guys keep a count of the number of women they sleep with as if that is suppose to mean something. I know a number of guys that have slept with a lot of women but I don’t consider them players. Mainly because they had to lie and manipulate to get what they want. If you have to lie to get laid; the lay is empty and meaningless. That empty feeling will usually follow up behind each new partner.

Players aren’t out there sleeping with women to validate themselves. Players just genuinely love women and/or love having sex with them. The amount doesn’t matter; we’re validated by how thoroughly we serve our purpose, and not by the sexual acts we engage in with others. Don’t count the number and certainly don’t brag about what the number already is. Do things because you enjoy them and not because they make you feel better about yourself.

The Blame Game

I find it odd that men consider themselves leaders when they point fingers at women for the downfall of their relationships. It’s a kings job to successfully lead his kingdom dispite it’s condition. Could you imagine if Barack Obama started pointing fingers at the American citizens for the downfall of the American encomonmy? What kind of leader would he be? Sure some people inherit difficult situations like our current president has; but he still has to do his best to change things or risk being nailed to the cross.

No where in history has the collective group of citizens in nation been blamed for the destruction of their civilization. We hear about Cesar, Napoleon, Alexander the great, Hitler, Stalin etc. They are the ones that take the wrap; not the people that follow. So as a leader in your relationship/group of friends, you are never to blame them for the reason things went left. Accept full responsibility, unless you’re not a leader of course; and if you aren’t a leader, you aren’t a player so this article isn’t for you.

Keeping Quiet

I was in my local market the other day and at the counter was a boy around the age 10. He was speaking to the store clerk about which over the counter pain reliever he should take for his headache. In his hand was a soda and he waited as the clerk reached to hand him a Tylenol. Surprised by the situation I stepped in immediately and spoke to the kid first ” 90% of headaches come from a lack of water in the body, so if you put that soda back and grab a bottle of water you should feel better. “

He went on to what I suggested and as he left I had a quick word with the clerk. ” you know better than that man, that kid is only ten years old”. He knodded to me in shame, I paid for my items and left.

I say this to say; speak up for what’s right. We all fall short; I don’t speak up as much as I should, but it’s important that we fight through our natural resistance and do what’s right. There is a powerful feeling that comes from doing something positive for someone else. You’ll feel better, you raise a level in consciousness, and you will be aiding a fellow human at the same time. Sounds like a win, win, win to me. Everyday we are presented with opportunities to take a stand. So do not hold your tongue, stand up and speak your truth even if it means you’ll be taking a temporary loss. This is what being a true leader is all about.

Tunnel Vision On Pussy

Pussy is great, love is awesome, and women are even better, but there is more to life. The majority of the men that I’ve met that are great with women don’t have much money. Seducting women is their sharpest skill and it tends to be what consumes all of their time. As a result they are left with a lot of sex, but very little cash to live off of. That’s where the women come in and help support them; so it doesn’t fully click that they may have to make money on their own. Players don’t live like this; a true player will not sacrifice a shot at an advancement in their personal life for a shot at a new piece of ass.

Sure if you want to be the best you have to dedicate a lot of you off time to improving, but don’t forget that there is more to life. We all have a purpose and a reason for living; life is about advancing and leaving things behind when we past that can help the next generation. What work are you leaving behind for others? Children to raise? That’s all it will be until you begin to think about chasing things other than women.

A player chases himself first; women will always come second to that.

There are many more of these things that we as players must stop doing, but let’s crawl before we walk. I’ll leave you with this seven for now. Until next time.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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The Power In A Proper Compliment

There has been a myth going around the seduction community for some time that you should never compliment a woman on her looks. That instead you should point out something unique that a guy doesn’t usually compliment her on to get her attention. While I agree that an indirect compliment will definitely lift a woman’s spirits, I can’t help but laugh at the guys who are afraid to acknowledge a woman’s beauty. And I won’t even bother addressing the men who think they have to NEG – say something negative to knock an attractive woman off her high horse just to get her attention. I would only advise the men on that level of social immaturity to get a horse of their own before they even think about connecting with the opposite sex. But back to the subject at hand..

I believe that a proper compliment based solely off of a woman’s looks is the best way to connect with her. Women carry purses that are usually filled with items to touch up their appearance( make up, mirrors, etc.) which only suggest that they worry about what they look like a lot more than men do. What better way to ease the mind of a woman than to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry about how she is begin perceived at that moment. Having put her mind at ease, she can now contemplate other matters.. perhaps even.. YOU?

Now there is a catch..

The compliment certainly has to be unique and more than unique it has to be genuine. A compliment such as “ You’re beautiful/sexy/hot/cute/pretty” is unreacted to for several reasons.

Reason #1

It’s obvious-She hears this ALL the time.

Reason #2

When you say “ You’re beautiful” you are stating it as if it is a fact. While YOU may perceive her as beautiful she may be the complete opposite to someone else. Now although she may hear the word beautiful all the time; changing “ You’re beautiful “ to “ I THINK you are beautiful “ will get you a completely different reaction – I guarantee it.

Reason #3

There is no YOU in this compliment. What more is she supposed to say other than “ Thank You ” while walking away. Exactly how do the men that walk around calling women “hot” expect them to respond? Did you think they will lean into you and start making out with you? Grab your hand, take out a pen, and write their phone number on it? In what reality does this happen and why is it that the urban man sits around waiting for miracles instead of making them happen. This is your life; waiting will only get you what waiting has already gotten you.. Which is what?

Women wear tight dresses, high heels, and even walk the way they do because they WANT to be viewed as attractive. They want some guy to be confident enough in both himself and her to compliment her beauty without fear. So compliment her beauty relentlessly, do so with passion, high energy and she’ll love for you it.

The trick to successfully complimenting a woman’s looks is to state how the way she looks is making YOU feel. She doesn’t want to know she is attractive as much as she wants to know how much her attractiveness is affecting YOU. This is about YOU, this isn’t about her looking a certain way; it’s about her beauty filling YOU with fire and desire from the inside out. No woman can resist a man confident enough to express how tempted he is to give into weakness because of her beauty.

I’ll give you an example..

Back when I experimented with the online dating thing, I realized that all men would do is compliment a woman on her looks and the women hated it. Why? Because they weren’t doing it the proper way. They would all say “ Hey Beautiful, Hey sexy, you’re hot etc. “. Now as you stated before, they could of received more responses if they said “ I think you’re sexy, I think you’re hot etc “, but I decided to take a different approach. I was going to describe in one or two lines how the way a woman looked was making me feel. I never had to read profiles.. I would just monitor my emotions while looking at their pictures and just describe this to them.

One of my favorite lines was “ damn girl..you make me wanna knit the both of us matching sweaters.“

I could send that to ten girls and get seven responses, because I was stating how the way she looked was making me FEEL.

A proper compliment tailored to a woman’s looks also does something powerful for your benefit. Not only will paying a woman a proper compliment heighten the way she perceives herself, but it will also heighten the way she perceives you. We’ve all heard the expression “ It takes one to know one “ and people are only mirrors of ourselves after all. When you comment to a person on anything they subconsciously think it must have something to do with you. So by validating her attractiveness you are also validating your own.

I used to date this girl named Natalia, and boy was she BEAUTIFUL… But she wasn’t always that way. Natalia was my next door neighbor when I lived in the suburbs. And before we were together I would see her from time to time, but I never really thought anything of her. Then one day I had a friend over who came into my house excited saying he had no idea I had such a sexy neighbor. He was also wondering why I had never made a move on her. I told him I didn’t think she was all that cute, and he told me I was crazy. So immaturely I said to myself “ Fine, I’m just going to sleep with her to score some cool points with my boy; not to mention, the idea of sleeping with a next door neighbor is a bit exciting.”

The next day I looked her up on facebook ( we went to high school together, she was three years older) and sent her a message:

Me: Hey, there’s this cute girl that lives in my neighbor hood.. You know her?

Her: (I don’t remember what she said but it was something like..) Haha yeah that’s me 🙂

Me: Dope.. So can I borrow some sugar?

Her: Sure 😉

I think she thought I was joking, but I went right on over, knocked on her door and asked for sugar. She laughed, we talked for a bit and then we exchanged phone numbers. The whole time I am thinking “ This girl is not all that attractive -I’m not even sure I want to go through with this “. But I was on a mission and I was going to complete it. I called her a couple days later, chatted with her for 20 minutes and then invited her over for a back yard picnic. So there we were, hanging out in my backyard, me still thinking she’s not that cute, and then it all started… She went into a mind state where she began describing to me how attractive I was for about fifteen minutes. She had been in a metaphorical cocoon and once the compliments began to rain, she broke out and emerged as a butterfly. My eyes glazed over and I was hers. I ate it up and for the first time since I had seen her I began to view her as all of the things she was telling me I was.

“ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – General Lew Wallace

“ A pimple turns to a dimple when you’re in love” – Japanese Proverb

Long story short

I fell more in love with Natalia that I’ve ever fallen for any woman in my entire life, all because she made a habit of constantly telling me how amazing I was. And as I stated above; subconsciously I would associate all of these great things with her even though my original opinions of her were negative. Her opinions of me, became my opinions of her and she knew this. I had fallen for her, I became emotional over her, and she began looking for a new male the conquer with her silver forked tongue.

There is a lot of power in the compliment and we must also realize that the more compliments we give out to others the more compliments we get in return. Compliments boost both someone else’s confidence and our own so it’s a win-win situation. Just make sure they’re genuine, original and tailed directly to the person. “I like your dress” doesn’t cut it; it’s cliche and heard by someone somewhere every single day. Try “ That dress goes great with the tone of your skin, how did you know to pick that color? “ That’ll open up the person and get the conversation flowing, but just remember that it has to be honest and genuine. If you love women enough, this will all be easy for you. Just begin expressing to them how much you really do LOVE specific things about them and how these things are making you FEEL.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

She Will Follow So Long As You Lead

I woke up to an epiphany this morning that will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. I intend to share it here in hopes that it can have at least some of that effect on anyone that reads this.

So I’ll just get into it..

I have been dating this woman for the past month and a half and she’s been great. Now of course no one is perfect, she just encompasses all the positives I could say I wanted before I met her. I remember saying to myself after the first few weeks of knowing her that “ I don’t know if there is somebody out there for everybody, but there was somebody out there for me. “ She’s that.  So anyway, like many of us do while going into a relationship that seems promising from the start my naivety led me to the assumption that things we going to be easy. I assumed that because we were so well matched that any conflicts that we could have would be minor and insignificant. And boy was I wrong. I’ve always known that women test us as men. The test aren’t intended to be malicious; their test are carried out simply because they want us to become better than we are. A woman needs to be able to feel her mans strength; she needs to know that her man can handle her in her wildest moments so that she can be secure in being with him. A woman wants to feel safe with her man, she wants to know that she’ll never be left out to dry, and the more you ensure her that she won’t be, the more she must test you to see whether or not she can trust your word.

So I always tell guys to encourage there woman to be strong; compliment her and help her become a greater version of herself that she can be so that the test she throws your way are more intense.  Their test can only make us stronger and as long as a man is rooted in his masculinity he never need worry about passing a test thrown at him by his woman. As a young guy I would worry about boosting my woman confidence  because I would be in fear of her getting out control. I liked her how she was – easy to handle, and so I tried my best to keep her that way, because she was at a level that I felt comfortable handling the things she threw at me. And so I would begin to resent the women I was with; they weren’t pushing me to grow and so I lost attraction for them. I wouldn’t stay with them all while being too immature to understand what was happening and so I would repeat this cycle over and over again. Eventually I understood what was going on and began to do the opposite. I began to compliment my woman more, telling her what she meant to me, and how important I believe what we have is. And what I found is a woman doesn’t take this new found self esteem to use it to lift her head above the world. She takes that energy and uses it to give it right back to me. I discovered that women were saving accounts with interest rates beyond my wildest explanations. They give us back everything we give them with a lot more behind it. I’m almost certain that old expression “ Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn” had its inception in a case in which a man wronged his woman deeply and so she gave it back to him with the interest I spoke of. And so if a man understands this, he understands that he can never out give his woman whether for the good or for the bad. Show her strength and she will be weak around you so that you can feel stronger; show her weakness and she will be strong around you in attempt to make you strong. Become weaker in this face of her strength and she will become even stronger and eventually devour the man that doesn’t rise up and claim what is his masculine right. Black women tend to get the reputation for being “Strong” and hard to deal with, and I believe that is due to the men not being able to rise in the face of their strength so the woman can feel comfortable being weak around him. A woman is a mans polar opposite and if he won’t rise to the plate and display his strength she will have to reflect it in hopes that he will recognize her for this and pick up the slack. A strong woman will always make a strong man.  And it is through her releasing of that strength by being weak around the man that she can trust to be responsible with her, that he will rise up in both his strength and power. And in this they become one flesh.

So I had to relearn what I stated above over this past week. The time had called for me to deal with the imbalance being reflected to me by my partner. She was calling for more strength and I wasn’t centered in my masculinity enough to give it to her; so as she once would shrink in the face of my strength so that i become stronger; she grew stronger in the face of my weakness. She had began to take notice of my controlling nature and she was calling for me to be better than this. I couldn’t see it at the time; all I could wonder is why on earth my woman was all off a sudden such a challenge to deal with. She wanted more, because I was asking her for more.  She wanted me to be greater than the selfishness within me that lead me to wanting things exactly how I wanted them and when I wanted them.

At first I was struggling with the imbalance because I was consciously trying to assert myself over her in order to get respect. And it is through that situation that I understood that instead of asserting myself, all I need do is relax back into the masculinity that I have been given that I  will prevail and my woman will trust me once again. It is nature and it is natural to a woman rooted in her femininity to want her man to be strong so that she can feel comfortable with surrendering herself to him. Women want to surrender, they just mean a man strong enough to handle them when they decide to give themselves.

After the night of conflict I had woke up to the answer; it was streaming through my mind clearly. It said “ You don’t have to give your woman instruction. Let her be who she is and have patience. If you’re practicing what you preach she’ll follow “. And so that was it. I had spent so much energy in relationships trying to assert my authority over my woman and giving them instruction that I didn’t understand that the women in my life weren’t listening to what I said as much as they were listening to what I do. Through the showing of a mans strength his woman naturally begins to pick up on his behaviors (both bad and good). So if a man can remain patient and remain strong in the face of his woman doing things that are unpleasing, she will eventually alter her behavior to reflect a behavior that will cause her man to feel more love for her. And the stronger a man in his what he is asking his woman to do the quicker she will begin to do as he would like. I had been telling women in my life to do things that I wasn’t full committed to doing myself and I had to understand that  as the leader in the relationship I can not expect something out of someone before I was fully giving that myself.

So this is my calling to all men to lead more so by action and less so by word. As Ive stated many times “ Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny. Lead your women first by your destiny, then your character, following your habits, your actions, and then your words/thoughts.

Now it is okay for a man to give instruction to his woman; in fact most women like and appreciate this, just be sure to do so from a place of understanding. From a place in which you are sure that the things you have asked have made it all the way to your destiny before you put it upon others. Because the more you ask of her, the more that she will ask of you so that she can be compliant. Rise into your strength and relax into the man that you were called to be and all imbalances experienced with your woman will quickly dissolve.

Peace & Love to all the readers.

Eddie Fews

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For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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