5 Quick Tips For A Great First Date

This is a response to the emailer John11236, who asked me for a couple quick tips to ensure that he had a more successful first date while out a coffee this evening. Check out these 5 quick tips.

Tip #1 – If you’ve spoken to her enough to know something small that she likes, under $5 bucks, pick it up on the way tot he date  and wait for the proper moment to reveal it and give it to her.

For example: On my first date with a girl I was talking to in the past, she had texted me an hour before the date ” I’m so excited for our first date. This is a date right? 🙂 – To which I responded something like ” Nope. Its our one year anniversary. We’re going to grab some drinks an celebrate. ” she’s like ” haha okay, see you there”

So on the way, I stopped by a stationary store and picked up a “Happy Anniversary card” – I didn’t write anything in it, but it was a small comical gift and she melted when I gave it to her. (later on in the night she revealed that had baked me some fresh cookies and pulled them out in wrapped ‘happy anniversary’ paper, but thats a story within itself…)

Second example: A woman would tell me how much she loves chocolate chip cookies. So i’d stop by a bakery on my way to meet her and pick up a chocolate chip cookie for her.

And its also very important WHEN you give the gift. Just chill and wait for the moment. This tip can also only be applied if you take the time out to have a conversation with the girl before going out with her. Something I would suggest that all men do. If you can’t last at least thirty minutes on the phone with a woman, then how do you expect to have a steady flow of conversation while on a date. Too many men are trying to rush to waste time on a date with someone they could find out they aren’t compatible with after five minutes on the phone – or video chat.  The technology is here, lets respect our time and use it to our advantage.

Tip #2 – If you feel like conversation is getting stale and/boring instantly suggest that you guys take your coffee and tea in hand and go for a walk. The association with boredom and staleness is tied to everything in that room at that point. A new scenery will almost be wiping the slate clean; opening up new avenues for conversation. I’ve even seen this work inside of my home. If a girl starts to get closed off at the thought of me making advancements, I’d suggest we move to another room in the house. The prior rejections on my escalation are almost forgotten about at that point. Its almost as if it didn’t happen. For whatever reason all the negativity was tied into everything within the room that it was taking place in.

I could go deeper and say that the term en-TRANCE, would suggest that the entering of every new room puts one under a new trance, but thats another topic for another time lol.

Tip #3 – How you start is usually how you finish. So you want to make sure that the initial HELLO is warm, lively and bright. Thats what will initially get the ball rolling. Its always good to get off to a great first start if you can help it. Its like a little snow ball being pushed down a hill. It begins to pick up steam the further and further it gets down the hill. And the bigger it gets, the more force and energy it will take to stop it and push it in the opposite direction. And that goes for a negative start or a positive start. Start off good, and it’ll be tough to stop the ball from rolling in a good way; start off bad and the same happens.

Tip #4 – Physical contact is very important.. Ask to see her hands, hold them in your hands, so you can look at her lines. I’m not expert at palm reading nor do I pretend to be on dates, but its a great way to introduce physical contact. Women love finding out new things about themselves, so even if a date is going bad, she will be open to letting you see her hands at the thought of learning something new about herself. You can even see this at how often women read their horoscopes and take those internet personality test.

Also, the sooner you break the touch barrier the better. Hand holding is an instant signal of romance. When you see two people holding hands its an instant indicator that they are together. Whether that be two girls, two guys, or a guy and a girl. So holding her hand to look at the inside of the palm is still in some way connected to romantic hand holding. The same action and amount of effort is needed to do both.

The top deep line is the love line. And they say that the further this lines curves up to the middle finger, the deeper a persons capacity to love. Look it up if you need to for accuracy, but what’s most important is that you have fun with it. Too much reality can ruin the ‘fantasy’.

Tip #5 – When all else fails, if the conversation just isn’t flowing like you want it to I’m going to give you a quick cold reading technique thats simple and easy to remember. This will at least buy you 5-10 mins to get it together while also honoring part of tip 4 by allowing you to teach her something new. She’ll subconsciously connect you with this new found realization about herself.

You can introduce it as ” Hey lets play this game, it’ll teach you somethings about yourself and allow me to get to know you better. ”

4 Questions and Four Simple Interpretations – Wait until the end to reveal what they mean.

1) You’re in an all white room without windows or doors, give me three separate adjectives to describe how you would feel? ( Most will say: Alone, Scared, Afraid)

2) Whats Your Favorite Color? And three separate adjectives to describe it? (Blue: Calm, Beautiful, Pure)

3) Whats Your Favorite Animal? And three separate adjectives to describe it (Cat: Sexy, Independent, Fun)

4) You’re before and ocean shore, whats the first thing you do? ( Take off my clothes and dive right in)

The first question is a reflection of how you see death..

The second question is a reflection of how you see yourself.. As being.. calm, beautiful, pure.

The third question is a reflection of how others see you.. As being sexy, independent, and fun

And the third is how you go about sex..

Depending on how elaborate her answer is for number four, you can get really in depth about your interpretation. Just make it up and have fun with it.

Apply those 5 quick tips and you’ll be on your way to having a great first date.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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So You’ve Met Someone Special?

Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?

If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this someone special is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “ someone special ” you’re an idiot.

Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met someone special. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?

The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose, you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.

Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gave you the “hit it and quit” vibe gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.

We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.

Stick to your guns. 

If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.)  influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.

We have to be stronger than our emotions.

This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.

Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.

Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.

Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.

If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, just hold firm or let her walk if she is incapable of doing so. All women will put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.

Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.

Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.

Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.

There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free?

Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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How To Not Be Desperate

I’ll be turning more of the advice I give into articles –  it’s a lot of information that can be helpful to more than just the person in the emails I give it to. This is from a guy that asked me about a remedy for his desperation.

Hey Eddie,

Are there any books, videos, guides etc. that can help me start the long journey of destroying being desperate etc.

I think subconsciously I give it off to girls (even though I am very aware of it and actively think about it with every move I take with girls)

I know no book or video can 100% help you…but it’s a start and I am sure there are deeper issues at stake here.

Any advice would be greatly helpful.

Thanks

Being desperate doesn’t take place in action; desperation is all a reflection of the vibe you are giving off to a woman. The energy you are sub-communicating, and if you’re consciously thinking about every move thats another clear sign of desperation. There is no need to impress with anything other than the audacity and boldness you had to approach the women the way you did and begin conversation. I’ve never been into doing magic tricks and bending over backwards to get a girl to like me. I’m not a performer, I’m an attractive male offering emotional and attractive conversation. Take it – go on this emotional journey with me, or leave it and resume the life you were living before me.

The root of my audacity is the fact that to the core of my being I believe I possess something that everyone needs in their lives. Every woman and every man. I have the ability to transform the life of anyone that crosses my path, and its possible that maybe I don’t, but I believe that I do and thats what makes me attractive.

Your desperation is all a result of the core beliefs you have about yourself. How worthy you feel your contribution to social interactions to be. A man thats feels talentless and worthless will never get out there and make any impact on the world because to his core he doesn’t believe that he has anything to offer the world. And a man that believes he is of low value and women don’t NEED him in their lives will not have much drive to get out there and approach any of them.

Even this post here.. You asked for videos and books, but I believe that I could write you a post an completely change your outlook on how you feel about desperation – which can trigger a drive to make a change. Will it change your life? Maybe. Maybe not?  But I believe I have the ability to, and thats whats driving me to jock away at this keyboard.

Desperation is all a mindset. And the way you change a mindset is to fill it with new information that is the opposite of the current state that it is in. For example: What do you look up on search engines? A needy desperate guy searches, ” Why do women think I’m so desperate? ” – And what he will get in return is a bunch of information to back up and reinforce the reason he is viewed as desperate. An attractive man or a man that wants to be attractive thinks and searches ” Guide to being completely awesome and having a life of abundance ” – And he will run into information that will back that statement. So long as you search what you are and ask questions about what you are you will stay that way. You want to change? Begin asking questions about that which you want to be. That’ll help you get there.

Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits become our destiny.

You thought yourself into your situation and you can think yourself out of it. Put energy and thought into your change, the more you put in the more you get out. Saying to yourself in the mirror ” I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this universe” a thousand times isn’t half as affective as taking a paper and writing it down it thousand times. Change isn’t going to come over night nor will it come from reading all day. Take active steps in making a change in your life. You must DO something.

Its like getting in shape.. If you want to get a 6 pack you have to exercise, eat right, drink water etc. consistently for 3-6 months to get one. And depending on your physical shape when you started, it maybe longer than that. So you have to ask yourself what is your emotional condition. Are you 300 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Or are you 180 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Your emotional weight will impact the length of time you will have to actively contribute to your change ( Thinking new thoughts, reading new information, writing it on paper, saying it in the mirror, praying about it, meditating on it, etc. etc.)

Work for the change you want and understand that it’s possible that it may take a few years for you to get there. This is the microwave age, but no sustaining change comes without dedication and consistency.

Where Do I Start ?

For and foremost let me say I think its important for each man to divulge into his own creativity to come up with physical, mental, and spiritual exercises that he can do to improve his condition based off of the material I wrote above.  The more of YOU the task that you apply to improve your condition the more focused the energy being applied to situation; causing a faster and stronger improvement.
But here are a few examples..
  1. As Stated Above, Grab a pencil and a notebook and spend a hour or more (The more you put in the greater the transition) writing down “ I am fun, loving and attractive. “ – “ I possess a grand sense of humor and a irresistible charm. “ “ I Love women and women love me” – “ I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this planet.
Spend hours writing the above. Start with an hour a day. Treat it like a Job and get it done habitually. Your friends want to play videos? You stay home unless you’ve done your hour. This has to be more important to you than leisure if it is actually want you want.
Look yourself in the mirror and say the above, over and over. Tell yourself you’re the most attractive man on earth. Say it over and over it until you believe your new truth.
Meditate on the statements above, sit still close your eyes and repeat the phrases like those over and over again for 20 minutes.
This all becomes apart of the collective energy you are contributing into your change and you reap what you so. And most importantly, create your own statements, create your own affirmations. Don’t depend on my thinking process, dig down deep within yourself and pull out quotes from the man that you’re on your journey to be.
Get creative, because it will get boring, but in 6 months – 2 years (depending on where you are) it will all be worth it.
Own Your Destiny.

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For Personal Consultation via Skype Phone & IM – For one on one coaching email me at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com