How To Become The Woman A Man Needs

So I was recently hired by a highly attractive educated young woman to begin working with her on improving her dating life success. Her, unlike most with her credentials, physical appeal, and youth had decided that enough was enough, and that she was ready for change. She was only thirty years old, had graduated from one of the top ten schools in the country, had her masters, and is damn near making six figures a year doing marketing with a fortune 500 company right here in New York City. Her problem you ask? She somehow couldn’t manage to get a guy to commit to her for any thing other then a long-term friends with benefits situationship. And I do mean long term. She had had one for two years, another for three, and even one that stretched as long as six years that only ended recently after he proposed to, and married his best friend who he had been crushing on all along. So for the life of her, she wondered what she was doing wrong. You see, she wasn’t a bad woman at all. She had kept all of these men coming around for years and years, so there was obviously something about her that they couldn’t so easily let go of. So what was it? Why wouldn’t they commit to her in the way she wanted? This all had led us into a deeper conversation, an as she revealed some things about herself to me, I had encouraged her to do what I refer to as an “honesty exercise” on FaceTime with this new guy that was set to take her on a first date later on in the week.

She told the guy she would like to FaceTime, he agreed, and then he reported back to her the next morning to inform her that he had ‘fallen asleep before he could FaceTime, but that he would prefer to meet in person anyway so i didn’t matter much’. Her response? “ Okay That Works! 🙂 Saturday?” .. And thats when I realized what part of the problem she was having was. She was just too easy. Instead of committing to the exercise that I suggested she did, she allowed the guy of interest to side step it, and pull her right back into doing what it is he wanted without her putting up any resistance. It’s kind of like a girl saying “ I’m saving myself for marriage” on the first date and then the moment a guy says “ Nah. i’d prefer to have sex tonight” , she responds “Okay thats fine”. Wheres the backbone? No Resistance or challenge at all? You know the move women do even when they know they’re going to have sex with you, when they move your hand the first few times you reach for there erogenous zones, just so they don’t come across as too easy.. Not even a verbal one of those? I have no doubt that if this guy has any skill with women, the moment he saw her response he immediately concluded that he would probably be able to sleep with her on the first night.

She asked me what should she have done and I told her she should of busted his balls. I told her it is your job a female companion to bust a mans balls anytime he deviates from his masculinity. It’s the only thing thats going to make him feel like you in fact, have the potential to make him better. Staying true to our word, and doing what we said we would do is a standard that men are held to. A man cannot be a leader if he’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants, and his word cannot be relied upon.  Whether he knows it consciously or not a man wants a woman that helps snap him back into position when he falls short of his highest masculine nature. I told her any response such as “ So you didn’t do what you said you would, and now you want me to do what you want? I don’t know mister 😛 “ would of have been sufficient. She kicked herself a bit and told me that she was just nervous that she would come across “bitchy” if she didn’t just go with it. I informed her that when a woman is that easy all she’ll do is weaken a guy over time. It’s like a mother that feeds a child candy every time they ask. It’ll make them happy in the moment, but then what happens in the future? So that behavior is an ego boost for men, and we all know men connect ourselves to women that stroke our egos, but what exactly does an ego boost that isn’t deserved do to a man over time? It destroys him. It dulls his blade. It convinces him that the shell of himself that he is currently being is someone good. Men are programed to pass on our seeds, and most of us won’t become much more than we have to become to successfully do that. That’s what success is to a man biologically; successfully being able to spread your seed as much as possible. This is why the majority of men who go around laying pipe every where don’t really do well in life. (Another reason most of our favorite musicians fall off after getting mainstream successful if they’re unmarried) . You ever hear a woman say ” broke men are the best in bed” ? The success of spreading their seed is convincing their biology that they’re already successful. So the motivation to exceed beyond that is non existent. On a biological level this is the case, but a spiritual level men in tune with themselves know something different. We understand that an overly easy going woman will dull our blade, and we subconsciously resent them for it.

Thats what a side chick is for. The reason a man seeks out a side chick, or a “friends with benefits” is so that we have a woman that carelessly pumps our ego so that we feel “good enough” to deal with our wife, or the woman we actually want to be our wives. She boosts our morale and a self esteem, but she doesn’t actually do anything to boost us beyond that. Our wives on the other hand are holding us to the standard of what they know our potential is. The side chicks are the women on the sideline, the cheerleaders, the screaming fan. The wife is that mirror we have to look into at the end of the day when its all said and done. And what would happen to you if you suddenly could no longer gain access to a mirror? You could think you look good all you like, and feel good because of it , but would you actually look good? And until a woman, your wife, or a mirror revealed to you what you actually look like, you could be living a long life of disillusion.

It is important that a wife learns to be both however, lest their man will begin looking for that side chick. Someone to boost his morale, while his wife challenges him to be better. If you could be a mans biggest fan, and his mirror perhaps he would be slower to seek it out else where. But all in all, if he could only choose one, as I told my client, a man wants his woman to be a blade sharpener. Which is why a man almost never leaves his wife for his side chick. He wants to slice through the world as his woman sharpens his blade. My client was just being another portion of the world that men were slicing through. She wasn’t doing anything to make them better at slicing, or to strengthen their blade. Eventually that mans blade would hit a wall that was too thick from him to slice through because he was being convinced that he was sharp enough already, but he was not actually prepared for what was ahead. She was an amazing side chick; probably one of the best, and this was confirmed after she revealed that several of her situationships led to the guys getting married or being in happy long term relationships after her.

The woman a man needs prepares him for the world ahead. I’ve heard story after story of a woman that supported her man entirely after he lost his job, supported him in his depression, only to have him leave her for another woman once he got back onto his feet. But the support they were offering wasn’t the support these mens spirits were actually longing for. They were giving the “ i’m here for you no matter what. Just take your time to figure yourself out” kind of support, but his spirit was looking for that “ I’m here for you, but I’ll have to leave you if you don’t eventually get your shit together” kind of support. Only one of those was actually going to boost him to do something. I’ve told the story a million times of the woman I know who worked a second job and gave all of the money to her boyfriend, and bought him books, until he figured out what he was going to do with his life who’s now happily married to him and wealthy 18 years later. But the difference between her man and most men is the guy she was with wasn’t lazy, unmotivated, nor was he bum. He was selling drugs at a high level, and getting money the only way he knew how. He just didn’t know any other way, so she asked an already ambitious man to stay at home, while she worked until he figured out a way to redirect his ambition. If he went back to the streets during this time, she was going to leave him, she said it. She wasn’t just taking shit; she was taking some, but she was offering true spiritual support. He sat at home, doing nothing but reading for a whole year while his girlfriend worked a second job an gave him all the money, before he become the multi-millionaire he is today.

Now this isn’t some call for women to no longer remain with the guy you’re currently with. It’s a group effort; I’d suggest that if your man isn’t currently being the man you would like him to be then it could be possible that you’re failing as his companion. Especially if he was once a sharp motivated man when you met him that has somehow lost his way. Did you dull his blade? Why isn’t he sharp? What happen to his motivation? And what true spiritual support have you offered him to try to change that? I would encourage all women to remain with a man thats being honest, upright, and treating you with respect. There isn’t an “I” in team, so if your man isn’t being all he could be, it is possible that you may not be being all that you can be to him. Or that you’re not acting as a source of support and motivation thats encouraging him to become more.

In closing,

This isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle of becoming the woman that a man needs, this is just one vital portion that I discovered my client was lacking. This is the edges of the puzzle if you will. Her and I will be completing the puzzle over time as we’ll continue our work. Once you become the woman you’re man needs, once you sharpen his blade, and become his mirror that both highlights his beauty and reveals to him his true self a man will be happy be the man to you and to the world that you’ve been wanting him to the entire time.

Thanks For Reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

This here has to be one of the most common things men face in the field of dating that they seem incapable of coming up with a solution to. I’m asked about it religiously, theres been television shows about it, and there are many memes going around making fun of the male friend being heart broken once he’s be reminded that he is still “Just a friend”. So what does a guy do when he’s put into the dreaded friend zone? And how does he get out of it? I’m going to cover all of that here, but first, lets get the harsh reality out of the way. It is my firm belief that 9 times out of 10 men and women can not be friends. Are there examples of men and women that are friends? Absolutely. But are the MORE examples of men and women that finally reveal to there “friends” that they weren’t actually their friends; that in fact they were just pretending to be their friends, because they thought that would lead to them actually having a chance? Caertainly. This is the reason the popularity of the “Friend Zone” got as big as it did in the first place.

Now, i’m not talking about friends in the sense of “Facebook Friends”. Nor am I talking about friends in the sense that “ Me and My Ex are friends because he texts me every couple of weeks to see how I am doing.”. Men and women can certainly be friends through the internet, and through text messaging. The distance makes friendship the only option. But can men and women consistently be equal friends on both of their parts while hanging out privately with just the two of them on a consistent basis – like regular friends do? I say no. One of the two can genuinely be friends; the one that isn’t attracted to the other one. But there is almost never a case in which the both of them feel absolutely no attraction to the other.

Ladies, have you ever had a guy approach you and when you revealed to him that you had a boyfriend he replied with “ You can’t have friends? “. What does he actually mean by that? When he saw you before he approached did he think “That girl is so beautiful. She would make a great friend”. No. He approached because he was attracted, and if you didn’t have a boyfriend he would have never mentioned anything about friendship.

So, 9 times out of 10 when a guy is friend zoned he’s not actually your friend. He’s faking a friendship and waiting for his opportunity to try again. Or he is waiting until he gets the courage to reveal his true feelings to you. I know countless amounts of women that were friends with guys for years that had no clue their male friend secretly liked them until it was revealed by the guy years later.

If you want to test out what I’m saying, pick up your phone one evening and text one of your male friends “ Hey, I know we’re only just friends, but It’s been a long time for me, and I’m really aroused tonight. Would you come over and spend the night? And could you promise to keep it between us? “ and see what they say. If they do anything other than blatantly reject your offer and put the friendship on ice until they figure out whats going on with you they’re not actually your friend. If one of my male friends were to text me that message tonight that would be the immediate end of the friendship. Because we’re friends and friends only, and nothing else could ever come from this union except friendship.

I say all of this to say, that if you’re a guy or a girl with any intentions on ever getting out of the “friend zone” stop pretending to be someones friend when you know that is not what you want. STOP SETTLING. The reason you were friend zoned in the first place is because you were willing to accept that position. No one can delegate you to a place you don’t allow yourself to be. When you want something, you don’t settle for a consolation prize. We can only get what we deserve out of life, so if you don’t feel like you’re deserving of the girl you’re going after why go after her? And if you feel like you are deserving of the girl you’re going after, why would you accept less than you feel you deserve?

If you worked for a company and felt like because of your qualifications and experience you deserved to be the manager of the company what would you do if they said “ No. We’re only giving you a base salary and temp position. We’re not making you manager”? What would you do? Would you accept the temp position or would you leave? You would leave, I hope, because if you didn’t you would be sending the clear message that you don’t feel like you deserved the manager position after all. The company would also look at you and lose respect for you, because you didn’t have the courage to walk away from something that didn’t give you what you claimed you wanted. And this is exactly how a woman looks at you when you accept less than you petitioned for. When you allow them to determine what your position in their life is going to be, metaphorically they become the CEO and you become the employee. Now imagine an employee saying “one day I’m going to have the courage to tell the CEO that I want to take their position. But I’m just going to pretend to be an employee for right now until I have the courage”. It simply doesn’t work, nor does it ever happen. And even if this were attempted, they wouldn’t just become CEO because they stated this is what they secretly wanted all along. You would be investing years of time and energy into something that has less than a 1% chance of succeeding. All while you sit around listening to your “friend” tell you about all the other guys she’s dating that aren’t you.

So what do you do? You have two options.

You take the plunge – Often times the so called “friend” is waiting around to catch the person that friend-zoned them in a vulnerable position. They’re waiting around until their “friend” is sad or down or just had a break up to reveal their intentions. Is preying on the weak the behavior of a friend? Certainly not.  Hell, if you desire to get out the friend zone, you’re not a friend anyway. But even if they were to agree in those moments once they get their strength back that will be a short lived relationship. Approach them while they’re strong. Let them know that you don’t want to waste any more of your time and that you’re too attracted to them to sit around pretending to be a friend. You look them square in the eye and tell them the truth. And you go in knowing that your self-respect will not allow you to accept less than you feel you deserve; you go in willing to walk away. Then, if you two aren’t on the same page perhaps in your absence they will have the time to reflect on the qualities you brought into their life and whether or not they should give the relationship a shot.

Or

You decide you’re going to remain the friend and put all of your focus and energy on being nothing other than a friend. All while you begin searching for someone else for a romantic partnership. If you are not in a space in which you are willing to walk away I recommend you never bring it up. Just stick with this option. It will only lead to heart break, a further loss of respect, disappointment and a potential lost “Friend”. I would even recommend telling your friend something like this, “ You know, I’ve liked you this whole time, but I’ve decided that I’m just going to be your friend and I’m going to start putting my energy into finding someone for me.” That way the air is clear and things can become more definitive.

I say all of this to say “ Waiting around” has never gotten anyone anything. You’re either going to take a leap of faith in life and be willing to not succeed or you won’t ever actually live. There’s an old expression that goes, it’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees. Friend zoned guys that are hiding their intentions are currently living on their knees. And the fact that they’re willing to live on their knees is the reason they’re friend-zoned. Women simply do not like men who are afraid to take risk. When will you stand up? When will you leap off the cliff and see if you can fly? Flying won’t get any easier the longer you wait. Flying will always be flying and it will always take the same amount of effort as it always has. To succeed you’re going to have to step into the unknown. You’re going to have to jump.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


Need Help Getting Out The Friend Zone? For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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What Men Want vs. What Women Want

So yesterday in the article I wrote titled “Is Your Girl Slipping Away?” I briefly touched on the underlying rownoncept that is present in all relationships between a man and a woman; which is investment versus compliance.

My original introduction to the concept was spoken by a comedian by the name of Patrice O’Neal who began to gain popularity before his passing (12/7/1969 – 11/29/2011) for his ability to break down relationships from an abstract, yet completely relatable point of view. Patrice said “The game men and women play is pussy versus time. Men are trying to get the pussy as quickly as possible without having to give up that much of their time, and women are trying to get as much of a guy’s time as possible before having to give up the pussy”. He went on to say that women treat men that allow women to abuse their time the same way men treat women who allow them to abuse their vaginas. Men that get friend-zoned are the men that don’t know the value of their time and they see a woman’s sex as being so much more valuable than their time that they allow a woman to completely use their time up without requiring anything in exchange. The men in essence become what Patrice calls “Time Hoes”. They’re not a woman’s friend, they’re just used for male time and attention. They won’t actually have sex with the guy because a woman’s attraction is connected to her respect, and they don’t respect him because he doesn’t know his own value. The same way a guy will have sex with a girl he considers a “hoe”, but would never be seen with her in public at a movie. Women will go to dinner and movies, but would never actually have sex with him, they’ll be having sex with someone else. Its reversed.

You can check out an excerpt from the original audio “Time Hoe” below:

I was first introduced to the concept many years ago, and since I was in agreement with it I didn’t give it much thought after that; I just took it for what it was. But the more and more experience I got with women the deeper I understood what it is they truly want as women and what it is we truly want as men. I peeled back the layers and began to understand that what was thought to be just sex was compliance (Sex, warmth, status, affection, submission, power etc.). And what was thought to be just time was actually investment (Time, commitment, attention, validation etc.). Which is one of the seven fundamental understandings I adhere to when it comes to men and women relationships. This one in particular being Investment versus Compliance

There are many examples of investment that a woman wants. There is time, there is attention, there is money spent, validation, commitment, and so forth. Men all over social media are playing into the whole “time hoe” concept daily. They’re being conditioned to give away time and validation left and right with the “like” button and the comment section. These men that are liking all a woman’s pictures and leaving comments under their pictures for just being “beautiful” are secretly hoping that one of these women sees the comment and decides to message the guy as a result. Which of course never happens. What kind of woman is going to comply with messaging a guy first that is already giving away his time, attention, and validation to her just because she looks good? He isn’t requiring anything. He’s just cheaply giving away something that he should value. For a man to be more successful with women he has to know his value. He has to begin to view his time, attention, and commitment as being worth something. Something that he’s not just going to cheaply give away to anyone without cost. Women will take the validation, the same way most men will take a decent looking woman throwing sex at them, but they won’t actually respect the guy to give him the time of day, the same way you’ll probably have no interest in seeing the girl that slept with you that didn’t know her value ever again. Women don’t probably know this, but as guys we know in our hearts that something as simple as the “like” and the comment section is more often than not used in the spirit of outcome dependence. We’re not doing it for no reason, we want something in return. We want to be noticed, and we cross our fingers and hope that we will be. This is one of the things fueling the gap between beta males and attractive women. There are a lot more outlets today for them to just give away their validation to any attractive woman which subconsciously lowers their own self worth little by little. If I like a woman’s picture more often than not, I found something creative and artistic about it. And if I ever leave a comment, it will be a comment about the creativity or the effort put into the photo. Not the looks that a woman was given at birth, or the looks that a woman paid for.

Your time, your attention, and your validation has to have worth. You have to recognize that you are an entity that’s worthy of being admired. It is a mans frame of mind that attracts women. Women can easily fall in love with a man that they didn’t find attractive at first until they fell in love with his mind. The same way men can easily fall in love with a woman with a terrible personality just because she is beautiful. Its all reversed.

All men in the friend zone that don’t want to be there see themselves as worthless. They don’t value their time, they don’t value their conversation, they don’t value their attention, their touch or anything. And so a woman isn’t attracted enough to their minds to take them seriously. A woman will never take a man seriously unless she is attracted to his frame of mind. A mans confidence is all dependent upon what he perceives his own value to be. Forget what other people say about you, what do YOU believe your value is? And women will treat you according to this. For example: If I make eye contact with a woman I mentally feel that my gaze should be appreciated by a woman because it is worth something. I don’t go around gazing at everyone; and I do this on purpose so that when I do make gaze at a woman she can intuitively pick up on the value of my gaze. This is one of the reasons why I don’t go around staring at women’s asses when they walk by. I don’t care what these others guys are doing, my stare has worth, and I’m not just going to be cheaply giving it out to every fat ass that walks by. I’ll look up and appreciate Gods work of art in the sky before I start staring at every woman I see just because she looks good. Its okay to look and admire beauty, but when you begin to stare, you begin to give too much of yourself away. I tell guys I coach all the time, don’t stare at women. If you’re not going to approach them, leave them alone, because you’re giving away validation and devaluing yourself in the process. You should require something for your stare, and so approach her and if this woman doesn’t recognize your value move on and stop giving yourself away so cheaply.

So if women are going to value your investment (time, attention, and commitment) they’re going to do so because you mentally understand that value of your investment; and because your actions reflect just how much you value what you mentally claim to value. And the more and more a woman values your investment the more willing she is going to be to be compliant with your wishes for smaller and smaller dosages of your investment.

Rockstars are desired by everyone, always on the road, and paid boat loads of money for two to three hours of their time on stage. And so they will naturally value their time because of how much their time is valued by others. So naturally thousands upon thousands of women in the crowd are willing go back to their trailers and sleep with them without requiring anything in exchange. They just perceive the rockstar’s time, attention, and validation as so much greater than their compliance they’ll give it all away in hopes to equal it. Many think it is the money that brings the women to them, but I work with guys with tons of money that can’t get laid for free. Not to mention there are plenty of men without a dollar to their name that are sleeping with attractive women all the time. The truth is, it is the confidence that the value that is put on their investment (time, attention, validation) that attracts the women to them. And you can begin to value yourself to this degree without having to be a rockstar. Success can give a man value, because of confidence it can give him, but a man can create value for himself and develop confidence without having to be successful by societies definition. His high level of confidence becomes a success within itself. What women want from men is investment (Time, commitment, validation, attention) from a guy that actually has value. Women can get tons of attention and investment from guys through social media and walking down the street effortlessly, but she truly wants it from the one guy that she perceives as being valuable. The valuable guy that she respects makes her feel more secure about herself, because he is secure within himself. And once she’s secure she can take the mask off and finally breathe. A woman’s life begins once she’s secure, her power, and everything that makes her special can only be tapped into once she has that security. Many think money is the security that women seek, and society would lead you to believe this, but there are plenty wealthy single women that still aren’t secure. They still aren’t tapping into the unique power of a woman and what makes them special. Their true security comes from having a man that they can follow who is valuable and completely secure within himself.

This same concept applies to women in reverse.

Let’s take the honest Gold Diggers for example:

The honest Gold-Digger is the woman who lets a man know from the very beginning that she doesn’t value his time, attention, and validation because he doesn’t value himself and so she won’t have sex with him, but she’s willing to be compliant with one of his requests (increasing his perceived value by being seen with him) in exchange for financial favors. Similar to the honest Player who lets a woman know from the beginning that he is not looking for a relationship but he is willing to be compliant with one of her requests (time, attention and validation) in exchange for sex. They’re both pretty much doing the same thing and there is nothing wrong with this. Gold diggers and players get a bad rep because of the association with dishonesty due to the label. The players that lead a girl on into thinking that there is the possibility of a relationship, and the gold diggers who lead a guy on into thinking that there is a possibility of sex. These are the two who are wrong and interfere with the entire system. It is not the gold diggers fault if she was honest from the very beginning and all throughout the relationship, that male involved becomes upset that he wasn’t able to manipulate her into giving him sex. His expectation is his own problem, as long as she kept it all the real she shouldn’t have to deal with the emotions he experiences because he wasn’t able to trick her. Just like the woman that gets upset with the honest player who she wasn’t able to manipulate into entering a committed relationship with her over time. He shouldn’t have to worry about the emotions she experiences in the end if he was honest in the beginning and throughout the relationship because she wasn’t able to trick him.

Honest gold diggers and players are in essence the same thing. They’re opposite sides of the same coin. They both know their worth, know their value and refuse to give it away to anyone who they don’t see as being equally as valuable. But they have needs and are honest about those needs with the people that enter their life. She receives the wealth and assets she gets from a successful man, and he receives the empowering feeling he gets from having sex with an attractive woman. If the honest gold digger feels that her being in your presence (raising your social status) is worth you buying her a car and so you buy it aren’t you agreeing with her? And if this honest player feels that him giving you his time and attention is worth you giving him sex and so you give it to him aren’t you agreeing with him as well? Both of the emotional parties have to leave their agendas out of this. Because in all actuality the men buying gifts in hopes of manipulating the woman into giving him sex and the woman giving sex in hopes of manipulating the man into committing to her are the most dishonest people of all. If they were honest from the beginning and said “ I’m going to buy you these gifts for a few months, but then I’m going to try to make you have sex with me” and I’m going to have sex with you for a few months and then I’m going to try and make you commit to me” I’m sure both the player and gold digger would opt out or again make it clear that they are not going to be doing that. You don’t walk into a strip club and pay the stripper for a lap dance and then get angry because she didn’t want to also have sex with you free of charge. You paid for what you believed your money was worth. You made a payment, you received a dance, transaction complete.

So when it comes to a woman and compliance women have to put more value on the things that guys want from them or else they will be used by the guys who know their worth. In the same way I suggested to a man to put value on something as simple as his gaze a woman should put value on something as simple as her hug. The more you do something for everyone, the less valuable the energy around that action will be when its done to others.

Example: The woman that hugs every single person she sees has a hug that is of a weaker energy, feeling, and vibration that the woman that reserves her hugs (because she values them) for the people whom she feels are deserving of it. A man loves a woman’s warmth, whether its the warmth of her hug or the warmth of her vagina and the fewer people that have access to this warmth the stronger the vibration and feeling of this warmth will be when it is felt by the people she deems worthy. Value your warmth. It is of importance to men and of value to them and the warmer it is due to you treating it like its worth something mentally and through action, the more a man will value your warmth. He likely will not know why he enjoys your hug so much, he may not be sensitive enough to your energy to understand, but he will daydream about it and desire it nonetheless.

Men want to be seen with high quality women because its a reflection to other men that he is of high value. The same way women play the “beauty game” as a form of competition with other women. Men play the “Look what I got” as a status game with other men. There is a lot to a woman, but on the surface women help a man validate his own character. They’re pretty much the stamp on him. Without her, as I said in my radio interview he cannot have his crown. He can be a prince at best. But it is the woman he is with that is a reflection to him that he is king. And if you know anything about men, you know that we want power. We want to feel like we’re king. And a quality woman allows us to do that. Highly quality women get treated the same way by men as the rockstar regardless of how he looks gets treated by women. Men everywhere are willing to invest anything into them just to gain their compliance. (sex, submission, status/reverence). Know your worth ladies, come to grips with what it is that men want from you and make sure you’re getting what it is that you want as you’re giving him what he wants. There has to be a balance there to maintain the relationship. He gets too much and your value decreases, and he begins to take advantage. He gets too little, and he’ll either seek it elsewhere if he knows his worth, or he’ll become weak and turn into a man that you no longer find attractive.

Men also want to feel like leaders, its the fantasy played up for us in action movies all the time. We all want to envision ourselves as the hero that leads our team to victory. And the women willing to follow a man they value through being compliant have the ability to grant men this fantasy. We want to be the “head” of our household, we want “respect’’, we want you to “listen”. Blah blah blah, if you’ve ever been in a relationship with a man that knew his value you’ve heard it all before. We want you to look up to us and we want you to let us know that we have power as I touched on in the Dear Women, Men Want Femininity Back back article. But its also important that you do so with balance. A man needs a challenge to continue to grow and become better and any quality man will appreciate and respect you for the challenges you throw his way. He may not like it in the moment, but he’ll thank you for it in his own ways later.

So to the men, know your worth and your value and for the ones who do require submission from your woman with balance. If she became a slave you wouldn’t find her attractive. Just as a woman wouldn’t find a man attractive that completely opened himself up and consistently laid all his emotions and feelings out no matter how much she tries to convince him that this is what she wants.

Compliance and investment. As both parties require their needs from one another with balance it’ll be much easier to keep that spark alive long into the relationship. If any women and men need extra help on understanding where they stand in terms of value, more examples of ways to value themselves, and what they should be requiring based on where they are in their journey they can email me for coaching & consultation to improve this aspect and many other aspects of their relationship life at EddieFews@gmail.com with the title of the article as the subject of the email.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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