Social Changes To Improve Social Success

I watched an interview not too long ago where I was reminded of a time when I was recently confronted with energy from a social situations negative affect on my level of productivity. If you own a copy , The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom you would have read the law on the numbing of our everyday senses. This is especially true in large cities such as my own (New York City). We as people are constantly being bombarded with information, bright lights, foul smells, loud noises, etc. that are so unnatural to humanity that they are slowly but surely destroying our capacity to FEEL. The numbing happens so gradually that one cannot fathom what is even going on, unless they “resensitize” themselves to their environment. Anyone that has ever gained or lost weight can tell you that without photos of themselves or the changing number on the scale they could not notice the difference between their body when they were just 10-15 pounds lighter or heavier. That is largely due to the fact that we are with ourselves and looking at ourselves daily. It’s a challenging thing to follow, besides the majority of our perception of our external is due to the emotional state of our internal. Ever feel really great in an outfit one day and then feel shitty in it just a couple weeks later? The outfit didn’t change and neither did our bodies, the only difference now is the mindset.

So, as I have been resensitizing, I had been able to pick the influence subtle energies had been having over how I’ve been feeling throughout my everyday life.

Just recently I decided to begin a new routine where I would begin taking my work out of the home to great cafes in affluent parts of New York City. While working from home I would often find myself working from the bed, falling asleep every other hour and getting ‘ just enough to get by’ amounts of work done. While working in areas surrounded by other workers I became influenced by the collective energy of productivity. I had yet to develop a work space in my home and considering my neighborhood, the energy that radiated throughout my building/neighborhood was not exactly one of wealth builders and productive personal. So I purchased my monthly metro card and vowed to head outside of the house a minimum of 5 days a week to the best neighborhoods New York have to offer.

When I first made the decision, I was very much excited. The simple thought of a new routine that would bring a higher level of wealth and positive energy into my life had my mind racing with new ideas and personal goals. I jumped up, got dressed, threw a good unread book and my Macbook into my business bag and ran for the door. When I got to the front of my building I was confronted by a well-known lethargic resident with a zest for conversation about sports and rap music. A mid-forties man with a good heart who had never really accomplished much; nor did he ever appear to have a desire to. He is content where he is and that is fine for anyone who wants to live this way. I’ve always considered him an acquaintance and whenever he would see me he couldn’t wait to stop me to discuss the latest hip-hop and sports news and this time was no different.

As I exited the front door he delightfully called out “Yo man… did you see any new rap battles lately!?”, I respond politely, trying my best to hold onto all of the new ideas I came up with just before leaving the house “Nah not yet… what’s a good one to watch?”. We go back and forth a bit and before you knew it I was sucked in! Ten minutes had passed and I was still here talking about things that weren’t going to get me anywhere. At around the fifteenth minute I had begun to feel like going back up stairs and taking a nap. I honestly had forgotten all of the ideas and all of the passion that I once had to tackle my new routine, had dissipated all at once. At this moment I realized that I had begun to share energy with the fellow that I was speaking with. Some of my passion had naturally diffused into him and some of his lethargy had naturally diffused into me energetically.

It’s no surprise that we hear statements like “He’s a product of his environment” and “A man is a combination of the five people he spends the most of his time around”. It’s all the subtle distribution of energies going from one person into the other and so on. And as soon as I had this realization I instantly looked at my “former” neighborhood acquaintance and said “Hey man… I gotta go”. I hauled off still feeling unmotivated and lethargic, but just an hour afterward my ideas and passion had begun to return. I was back with a vision and a new perspective on social interactions.

We as people must understand that we are not just what we eat, but we are what we consume through all of our senses. Every sense is collecting information for the brain and thus telling it how to respond to its environment. Just as the eyes adjust to allow more light in so one can see in a dark room, the mind and energetic vibrations of our bodies adjust to the people we share energy with. The body is made to adapt to its environment, whether for the better or for the worst.

The music we listen to is a part of our diets. The noises from the environment around us is a part of our diets. A man living in a home in which there is much debate and quarrel is consuming the energy from the quarrel from the ears without even knowing. These things all influence the direction of the mind. These are a part of our ear’s diet.

The programs we watch, the books we read, the posters, and signs on our walls are a part of our eye’s diet. The neighborhoods, the quality of light, the cleanliness etc.  This is why I recommend solar gazing to all who are capable. Staring into the sun has many benefits, but one of the main benefits is its direct source of food for the eyes; and the eyes are closest to our brains. Its brain food; light into the eyes shining directly into the brain.

The food we taste, the drinks we drink all are a part of our mouth and body’s diets. The stomach creates blood from the foods we consume – blood cell create tissues, and tissues come together to make and repair organs. Not to mention our blood is the body fluid that is directly connected to our spirits. Poor blood, because of poor food consumption will result in a poor connection with the spirit.

The comfort around us, the quality of the materials that are on our skin; the plushness of our beds all tell the body whether it should remain in that section or not. When in a cold environment the brain sends signals to the body to seek warmth, and when in a plush environment the brain sends signals to the body to remain present. This is why many have trouble getting out of their ultra comfortable beds in the morning. The body seeks pleasure and comfort and when those things are present, so does the innate motivation to do anything. The bodies being told that it’s in good space.

The smells we take in are all a part of the diet of our noses. Ever walk into a smelly room and are initially disgusted by it until your body is sent the signal from your brain that this is natural and so you smell the smell no more? You have adapted to the smell of the room; the brain has sought to deliver you “comfort” in your current environment. And if the brain is told to seek comfort in the presence of foul smells, it will begin to wire itself to seek this whenever you are away from that which it has taught itself to adapt to. This will have a subtle influence on how the mind is wired to seek “needed”.

And once again, these things all happen so gradually and slowly that it is challenge to notice that any change is taking place. This is why it is important that we resensitize so we can know how we’re being influenced by our external environments. We’ll reengineer our ability to FEEL the subtle changes.

So anyone struggling with a level of motivation can easily create change in their life by switching the environment. Whether that be moving the body some place more influential physically or by changing the signs/posters/music/food/level of comfort around them within the home.

Our circumstances won’t change until we change our entire diets.  And our diets are largely due to what is going on in our environments.

One love.

Eddie Fews  


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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She Will Follow So Long As You Lead

I woke up to an epiphany this morning that will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. I intend to share it here in hopes that it can have at least some of that effect on anyone that reads this.

So I’ll just get into it..

I have been dating this woman for the past month and a half and she’s been great. Now of course no one is perfect, she just encompasses all the positives I could say I wanted before I met her. I remember saying to myself after the first few weeks of knowing her that “ I don’t know if there is somebody out there for everybody, but there was somebody out there for me. “ She’s that.  So anyway, like many of us do while going into a relationship that seems promising from the start my naivety led me to the assumption that things we going to be easy. I assumed that because we were so well matched that any conflicts that we could have would be minor and insignificant. And boy was I wrong. I’ve always known that women test us as men. The test aren’t intended to be malicious; their test are carried out simply because they want us to become better than we are. A woman needs to be able to feel her mans strength; she needs to know that her man can handle her in her wildest moments so that she can be secure in being with him. A woman wants to feel safe with her man, she wants to know that she’ll never be left out to dry, and the more you ensure her that she won’t be, the more she must test you to see whether or not she can trust your word.

So I always tell guys to encourage there woman to be strong; compliment her and help her become a greater version of herself that she can be so that the test she throws your way are more intense.  Their test can only make us stronger and as long as a man is rooted in his masculinity he never need worry about passing a test thrown at him by his woman. As a young guy I would worry about boosting my woman confidence  because I would be in fear of her getting out control. I liked her how she was – easy to handle, and so I tried my best to keep her that way, because she was at a level that I felt comfortable handling the things she threw at me. And so I would begin to resent the women I was with; they weren’t pushing me to grow and so I lost attraction for them. I wouldn’t stay with them all while being too immature to understand what was happening and so I would repeat this cycle over and over again. Eventually I understood what was going on and began to do the opposite. I began to compliment my woman more, telling her what she meant to me, and how important I believe what we have is. And what I found is a woman doesn’t take this new found self esteem to use it to lift her head above the world. She takes that energy and uses it to give it right back to me. I discovered that women were saving accounts with interest rates beyond my wildest explanations. They give us back everything we give them with a lot more behind it. I’m almost certain that old expression “ Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn” had its inception in a case in which a man wronged his woman deeply and so she gave it back to him with the interest I spoke of. And so if a man understands this, he understands that he can never out give his woman whether for the good or for the bad. Show her strength and she will be weak around you so that you can feel stronger; show her weakness and she will be strong around you in attempt to make you strong. Become weaker in this face of her strength and she will become even stronger and eventually devour the man that doesn’t rise up and claim what is his masculine right. Black women tend to get the reputation for being “Strong” and hard to deal with, and I believe that is due to the men not being able to rise in the face of their strength so the woman can feel comfortable being weak around him. A woman is a mans polar opposite and if he won’t rise to the plate and display his strength she will have to reflect it in hopes that he will recognize her for this and pick up the slack. A strong woman will always make a strong man.  And it is through her releasing of that strength by being weak around the man that she can trust to be responsible with her, that he will rise up in both his strength and power. And in this they become one flesh.

So I had to relearn what I stated above over this past week. The time had called for me to deal with the imbalance being reflected to me by my partner. She was calling for more strength and I wasn’t centered in my masculinity enough to give it to her; so as she once would shrink in the face of my strength so that i become stronger; she grew stronger in the face of my weakness. She had began to take notice of my controlling nature and she was calling for me to be better than this. I couldn’t see it at the time; all I could wonder is why on earth my woman was all off a sudden such a challenge to deal with. She wanted more, because I was asking her for more.  She wanted me to be greater than the selfishness within me that lead me to wanting things exactly how I wanted them and when I wanted them.

At first I was struggling with the imbalance because I was consciously trying to assert myself over her in order to get respect. And it is through that situation that I understood that instead of asserting myself, all I need do is relax back into the masculinity that I have been given that I  will prevail and my woman will trust me once again. It is nature and it is natural to a woman rooted in her femininity to want her man to be strong so that she can feel comfortable with surrendering herself to him. Women want to surrender, they just mean a man strong enough to handle them when they decide to give themselves.

After the night of conflict I had woke up to the answer; it was streaming through my mind clearly. It said “ You don’t have to give your woman instruction. Let her be who she is and have patience. If you’re practicing what you preach she’ll follow “. And so that was it. I had spent so much energy in relationships trying to assert my authority over my woman and giving them instruction that I didn’t understand that the women in my life weren’t listening to what I said as much as they were listening to what I do. Through the showing of a mans strength his woman naturally begins to pick up on his behaviors (both bad and good). So if a man can remain patient and remain strong in the face of his woman doing things that are unpleasing, she will eventually alter her behavior to reflect a behavior that will cause her man to feel more love for her. And the stronger a man in his what he is asking his woman to do the quicker she will begin to do as he would like. I had been telling women in my life to do things that I wasn’t full committed to doing myself and I had to understand that  as the leader in the relationship I can not expect something out of someone before I was fully giving that myself.

So this is my calling to all men to lead more so by action and less so by word. As Ive stated many times “ Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny. Lead your women first by your destiny, then your character, following your habits, your actions, and then your words/thoughts.

Now it is okay for a man to give instruction to his woman; in fact most women like and appreciate this, just be sure to do so from a place of understanding. From a place in which you are sure that the things you have asked have made it all the way to your destiny before you put it upon others. Because the more you ask of her, the more that she will ask of you so that she can be compliant. Rise into your strength and relax into the man that you were called to be and all imbalances experienced with your woman will quickly dissolve.

Peace & Love to all the readers.

Eddie Fews

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For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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You Don’t Have It Because You Don’t Deserve It

 I’ve began to notice that everyone has a poverty like mentality when it comes to a particular area of their lives. There are poor men and women everywhere that are victims of thoughts that keep them enslaved to their conditions. Think poverty, talk poverty, and you will manifest poverty in your actions. Think wealth/abundance, talk wealth, and you will manifest actions that’ll lead to wealth. For many this happens unconsciously because they were raised by poor/wealthy families that have lead them into the thinking pattern they have today. So they go on producing and accepting having or not having.

So what poor mentality am I talking about ?

If love/sex were coins, many of you men would be homeless, strung out on the floor, shaking your coffee cups, and begging for change. It’s pitiful honestly; I see the tweets, the statuses, facebook comments etc. I almost want to shake some of you guys up so y’all can come to your senses. We’re idolizing and worshiping our women from a point of inferiority. I have no problem putting a woman on a pedastol, but I must first secure my position on my own pedastol. This isn’t fan telling a rockstar how amazing they are. This is a rockstar telling another rockstar that they like them too. Any coincidence that most celebrities date other people in their industry? They’re idolized by almost everyone else.But the worse part about the analogy I started this paragraph off with is most men don’t even realize that that’s how they are seen by every woman they idolize.

Would you date a homeless woman who sits around begging all day? No. There is nothing she could do to get you to do so. She could call you handsome and compliment you all day long but it just wouldn’t happen. Mainly because she hasn’t taken care of herself yet, so how could she possibly have anything to offer you? In terms of self wealth and value, a lot of our men have not taken care of themselves. Women are going after each other now. They’re “independent”, they don’t need us, because we aren’t offering anything.

If you guys want to get up off the floor and dust yourselves off its time to know what you deserve. Anyone that has anything, felt or feels like they deserve what they have. Even a spoiled brat kid with a million toys that wants more feels like he’s deserving of another one. So when he approaches his parents for a new one, he communicates to them from a deserving position. This is the same position you must come from when you approach, speak, or comment on women.

Everything you do must say ” I deserve you.. and I came to find out if you deserve me “

You can even turn this into a practice on your daily travels. Every time you see a woman you find attractive whether on Facebook or in person say to yourself ” I deserve you.. “. This is how you will begin to train your thoughts to feel worthy when you communicate with a woman you find attractive. You can even apply this same mentality to that new Porsche you have your eyes on. When you see that new car, that house or job you want tell yourself ” I deserve you”. After enough repetition you will be one step closer to attracting the things you deserve.

I was always taught that I can have anything that I truly feel I deserve. It’s more than just saying it, it’s believing it, but saying it is where it starts. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habbits, our habbits become our character, and our character becomes our destiny. Let’s stop begging and start attractive the things we believe we deserve.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here