Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?
If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this someone special is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “ someone special ” you’re an idiot.
Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met someone special. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?
The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose, you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.
Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gave you the “hit it and quit” vibe gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.
We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.
Stick to your guns.
If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.) influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.
We have to be stronger than our emotions.
This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.
Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.
Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.
Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.
If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, just hold firm or let her walk if she is incapable of doing so. All women will put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.
Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.
Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.
Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.
There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free?
Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.
Peace & Love
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