Getting A Man Who’s “Not Ready” To Settle Down

Although most of my material is directed at men, I do always make a point to throw an article up to help out the ladies too every now and then. This topic in particular is one that I get asked a lot, and while I agree with most people who suggest not even bothering with a man who’s not ready to settle down unless “no strings attached” is what you want – I can’t ignore the fact that it is possible to get a man to settle down who thought he wasn’t ready. That is, until he met you.

I’ve seen it happen many times. Not only have I coached women specifically in this area, but I have also coached heart broken men on Getting back with the women they initially didn’t “want to settle down with” after she broke their hearts. This isn’t for the “on to the next one” types, if you’ve made it to that place more power to you. Some women just find themselves in situations where it’s not as easy done as it is said to “walk away” or “move on”. For them it’s too late; they’re already in it, and it’s going to take an emotional tug of war to get out of it. Other women have met a highly successful guy that marrying or being with is beneficial to them, and so they find it better to work it out than to walk away.  I’m speaking about high value men here that have choice with women by the way. These are usually the only types that find themselves at a state in which they’re “unwilling to settle down” anyway. So for you ladies, this is, “Getting A Man Who’s Not Ready To Settle Down”

First we need an understanding of how male emotional attachments work. I’ve taught this before, and I’ll post the link HERE if you want to get deeper into it – but, men develop emotional attachments when they invest. The more they invest into you, the higher the chances they’re going to develop an emotional attachment to you. This is one reason some women that allow a man to take them out on an expensive upscale dinner date or vacation end up with a stalker on their hands after deciding they don’t want to deal with the guy shortly after. The guy invested, received none of the cooperation he hoped for from the investment, and developed an strong emotional attachment because of it. One reason the “Netflix & Chill” culture has gotten so popular for men today is because men as a whole are unwilling to invest as much as men of old did – for many reasons we would need more time to discuss. However, that unwillingness to invest is men subconsciously protecting themselves from developing attachments. No investment, means no attachment. And let me just say, investments aren’t necessarily money. Investments from a man can be many things. Things like time, energy, effort, and money. In fact, the more of something a guy has the less he will consider it an “investment” subconsciously. A billionaire spending money on you doesn’t create emotions right away because he has so much money. But if that same billionaire had little free time, and started giving you that free time and even some of his “work time” then that would be a huge investment to him subconsciously

Let me also just add, that there are girls that manage to Netflix & Chill their way into a relationship through getting a man to invest by these other means. Men started to Netflix & Chill because showering, getting dressed, looking for a destination for a date, traveling to get to the date, spending money on the date(even if it’s just for him), walking with you after the date or during, etc. just to find out that he doesn’t even like a girl, takes time, money, and energy. That energy, if invested creates small levels of attachment that lead to men feeling duped and disappointed if nothing comes out of it. And because of how men are wired they grow tired of this process after the disappointment occurs too many times.

So how exactly is it done?

I’m going to defer to a man by the name of Dante Nero who does a podcast called the Beige Philip Podcast – A branch off of the great Patrice O’Neals ‘Black Philip’ Podcast after he passed.

I’ll call it The Jelly Bean Theory. I’ve always taught this concept to women in my own way, but Dante nailed it with this analogy.

The Jelly Bean Theory basically states that, in the heads of every unwilling to settle down man, he gives each woman he meets a giant empty glass jar. In the jar goes the jelly beans he fills it with whenever the woman he’s dealing with does something he finds pleasing. For example: if she buys him a cute little gift tailored to one of his needs, the man throws 15 jelly beans into the jar. She makes him a meal – 20 jelly beans in the jar, good sex – 10 jelly beans in the jar, shows him love affection – 5 jelly beans in the jar, massages his ego – more jelly beans, and so forth. Whatever is valuable to him is how he’ll add jelly beans to the jars of the women he’s dealing with. On the other end of this however, everything the woman does that he finds disrespectful like – bitching at him, nagging him, overly pressuring him to be exclusive etc. is 50 jelly beans out of the jar. Three positives can get you fifty jelly beans, but one negative can cause you to lose fifty. We can see this in the example of trust – it taking years to build, but only seconds to break.

So this trick here is to fill your jelly bean jar all the way up to the top, until it’s over flowing with jelly beans. And once you know for a fact that your jelly bean is full because you’ve treated him well and haven’t nagged, complained, and gotten into a lot of petty arguments with him – YOU WALK THE **** AWAY.

You call him up one evening and you say something in an extremely loving tone – massaging the hell out of his ego like “ Hey baby, I was just calling to let you know that I love you and that you mean the world to me, and that I want to do anything and everything for you, but I’m not going to be able to continue this relationship. You see, you’re an amazing man and I know you’re not ready to settle down, and as much as I love being with you because, you’re so great, I need to find someone to commit to me. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, because I want to stay with you, but I can’t, I just can’t. I’m sorry.  I Am so sorry“ – And then you hang up. If he calls you back, you don’t answer. You let him call and call for that first day.

You let him think.

Because by now he’s losing it. You’re about to walk away with all of his jelly beans. None of his other girls if he has any, have any jelly beans. He may have one girl with 20, another with 60, but they all eventually lose them because they’re not disciplined enough to show restraint when it comes to buckling down and suppressing their need to vent the frustration with the conditions of the relationship. But you, you just walked away with a thousand of his jelly beans, and he needs to get them back. And he will do almost anything to get them back.

This is where the tables turn and you start getting him to invest. Now you get your own jelly bean jar for him in your head and YOU start filling it with jelly beans. You become the one he starts doing all the good things to get back with so that he can subconsciously get the jelly beans he gave you back from you. However, by the time he does, you guys both have two full jars of jelly beans and the playing field is now leveled. Unfortunately, most women don’t look at the guy the same after this ,and usually end up walking away and breaking the guys heart. So be mindful of this before using it. But, if you come across the right high value man, it may actually be worth sticking around.

I can help you fully execute this process; just email me at EddieFews@Gmail.com – I overviewed this concept as best as I could in a short article, but there are a lot of intricacies that some need help with throughout the process. For example “ Knowing when your jelly bean jar is full, creative ways to add to the jar, knowing when to finally pick up when he comes calling, and more”. And if you’re a guy that’s been through this process I’m here for you too, to show you how to get your jelly beans back. Many women have used this method subconsciously without knowing and got the same results. I bet some of you can think of a time in your life where you implemented this in certain ways and had guys calling for their beans. It happens all the time knowingly or unknowingly, but you can consciously control the process. Anyway, thank you guys for reading as always, and be very careful and considerate with this.

Much Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

How To Become The Woman A Man Needs

So I was recently hired by a highly attractive educated young woman to begin working with her on improving her dating life success. Her, unlike most with her credentials, physical appeal, and youth had decided that enough was enough, and that she was ready for change. She was only thirty years old, had graduated from one of the top ten schools in the country, had her masters, and is damn near making six figures a year doing marketing with a fortune 500 company right here in New York City. Her problem you ask? She somehow couldn’t manage to get a guy to commit to her for any thing other then a long-term friends with benefits situationship. And I do mean long term. She had had one for two years, another for three, and even one that stretched as long as six years that only ended recently after he proposed to, and married his best friend who he had been crushing on all along. So for the life of her, she wondered what she was doing wrong. You see, she wasn’t a bad woman at all. She had kept all of these men coming around for years and years, so there was obviously something about her that they couldn’t so easily let go of. So what was it? Why wouldn’t they commit to her in the way she wanted? This all had led us into a deeper conversation, an as she revealed some things about herself to me, I had encouraged her to do what I refer to as an “honesty exercise” on FaceTime with this new guy that was set to take her on a first date later on in the week.

She told the guy she would like to FaceTime, he agreed, and then he reported back to her the next morning to inform her that he had ‘fallen asleep before he could FaceTime, but that he would prefer to meet in person anyway so i didn’t matter much’. Her response? “ Okay That Works! 🙂 Saturday?” .. And thats when I realized what part of the problem she was having was. She was just too easy. Instead of committing to the exercise that I suggested she did, she allowed the guy of interest to side step it, and pull her right back into doing what it is he wanted without her putting up any resistance. It’s kind of like a girl saying “ I’m saving myself for marriage” on the first date and then the moment a guy says “ Nah. i’d prefer to have sex tonight” , she responds “Okay thats fine”. Wheres the backbone? No Resistance or challenge at all? You know the move women do even when they know they’re going to have sex with you, when they move your hand the first few times you reach for there erogenous zones, just so they don’t come across as too easy.. Not even a verbal one of those? I have no doubt that if this guy has any skill with women, the moment he saw her response he immediately concluded that he would probably be able to sleep with her on the first night.

She asked me what should she have done and I told her she should of busted his balls. I told her it is your job a female companion to bust a mans balls anytime he deviates from his masculinity. It’s the only thing thats going to make him feel like you in fact, have the potential to make him better. Staying true to our word, and doing what we said we would do is a standard that men are held to. A man cannot be a leader if he’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants, and his word cannot be relied upon.  Whether he knows it consciously or not a man wants a woman that helps snap him back into position when he falls short of his highest masculine nature. I told her any response such as “ So you didn’t do what you said you would, and now you want me to do what you want? I don’t know mister 😛 “ would of have been sufficient. She kicked herself a bit and told me that she was just nervous that she would come across “bitchy” if she didn’t just go with it. I informed her that when a woman is that easy all she’ll do is weaken a guy over time. It’s like a mother that feeds a child candy every time they ask. It’ll make them happy in the moment, but then what happens in the future? So that behavior is an ego boost for men, and we all know men connect ourselves to women that stroke our egos, but what exactly does an ego boost that isn’t deserved do to a man over time? It destroys him. It dulls his blade. It convinces him that the shell of himself that he is currently being is someone good. Men are programed to pass on our seeds, and most of us won’t become much more than we have to become to successfully do that. That’s what success is to a man biologically; successfully being able to spread your seed as much as possible. This is why the majority of men who go around laying pipe every where don’t really do well in life. (Another reason most of our favorite musicians fall off after getting mainstream successful if they’re unmarried) . You ever hear a woman say ” broke men are the best in bed” ? The success of spreading their seed is convincing their biology that they’re already successful. So the motivation to exceed beyond that is non existent. On a biological level this is the case, but a spiritual level men in tune with themselves know something different. We understand that an overly easy going woman will dull our blade, and we subconsciously resent them for it.

Thats what a side chick is for. The reason a man seeks out a side chick, or a “friends with benefits” is so that we have a woman that carelessly pumps our ego so that we feel “good enough” to deal with our wife, or the woman we actually want to be our wives. She boosts our morale and a self esteem, but she doesn’t actually do anything to boost us beyond that. Our wives on the other hand are holding us to the standard of what they know our potential is. The side chicks are the women on the sideline, the cheerleaders, the screaming fan. The wife is that mirror we have to look into at the end of the day when its all said and done. And what would happen to you if you suddenly could no longer gain access to a mirror? You could think you look good all you like, and feel good because of it , but would you actually look good? And until a woman, your wife, or a mirror revealed to you what you actually look like, you could be living a long life of disillusion.

It is important that a wife learns to be both however, lest their man will begin looking for that side chick. Someone to boost his morale, while his wife challenges him to be better. If you could be a mans biggest fan, and his mirror perhaps he would be slower to seek it out else where. But all in all, if he could only choose one, as I told my client, a man wants his woman to be a blade sharpener. Which is why a man almost never leaves his wife for his side chick. He wants to slice through the world as his woman sharpens his blade. My client was just being another portion of the world that men were slicing through. She wasn’t doing anything to make them better at slicing, or to strengthen their blade. Eventually that mans blade would hit a wall that was too thick from him to slice through because he was being convinced that he was sharp enough already, but he was not actually prepared for what was ahead. She was an amazing side chick; probably one of the best, and this was confirmed after she revealed that several of her situationships led to the guys getting married or being in happy long term relationships after her.

The woman a man needs prepares him for the world ahead. I’ve heard story after story of a woman that supported her man entirely after he lost his job, supported him in his depression, only to have him leave her for another woman once he got back onto his feet. But the support they were offering wasn’t the support these mens spirits were actually longing for. They were giving the “ i’m here for you no matter what. Just take your time to figure yourself out” kind of support, but his spirit was looking for that “ I’m here for you, but I’ll have to leave you if you don’t eventually get your shit together” kind of support. Only one of those was actually going to boost him to do something. I’ve told the story a million times of the woman I know who worked a second job and gave all of the money to her boyfriend, and bought him books, until he figured out what he was going to do with his life who’s now happily married to him and wealthy 18 years later. But the difference between her man and most men is the guy she was with wasn’t lazy, unmotivated, nor was he bum. He was selling drugs at a high level, and getting money the only way he knew how. He just didn’t know any other way, so she asked an already ambitious man to stay at home, while she worked until he figured out a way to redirect his ambition. If he went back to the streets during this time, she was going to leave him, she said it. She wasn’t just taking shit; she was taking some, but she was offering true spiritual support. He sat at home, doing nothing but reading for a whole year while his girlfriend worked a second job an gave him all the money, before he become the multi-millionaire he is today.

Now this isn’t some call for women to no longer remain with the guy you’re currently with. It’s a group effort; I’d suggest that if your man isn’t currently being the man you would like him to be then it could be possible that you’re failing as his companion. Especially if he was once a sharp motivated man when you met him that has somehow lost his way. Did you dull his blade? Why isn’t he sharp? What happen to his motivation? And what true spiritual support have you offered him to try to change that? I would encourage all women to remain with a man thats being honest, upright, and treating you with respect. There isn’t an “I” in team, so if your man isn’t being all he could be, it is possible that you may not be being all that you can be to him. Or that you’re not acting as a source of support and motivation thats encouraging him to become more.

In closing,

This isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle of becoming the woman that a man needs, this is just one vital portion that I discovered my client was lacking. This is the edges of the puzzle if you will. Her and I will be completing the puzzle over time as we’ll continue our work. Once you become the woman you’re man needs, once you sharpen his blade, and become his mirror that both highlights his beauty and reveals to him his true self a man will be happy be the man to you and to the world that you’ve been wanting him to the entire time.

Thanks For Reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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Should Men Be Allowed A Cheat Day In Relationships?

This one will probably be met with several screw faces from the female supporters, but I’m going to be optimistic and offer a perspective that should speak to a few of you. The few with a mind that is open to at least discussing masculine ideas without becoming angry. The few who’ll find it easiest to get a man to want to commit to them long term in the first place. I’ve found in my personal life that the most attractive and confident women have a spirit of seeking to understand. They may not agree right away, but they don’t go touting their opinion easily. They understand that there is a difference within the psychology of a man and a woman and thus, they seek to understand the males way of thinking to better help them function in a union with one. The majority of these women just so happen to be in functional relationships, but perhaps that’s just a coincidence.

Today it’s very easy for a woman to say, “Well this is what I want and if he doesn’t like it then its on to the next one”, but how long does this mentality survive until you’ve worn yourself out through failed relationship after failed relationship and one finds themselves alone? It is the very “on to the next one” mentality that results in a man not feeling attracted to a woman anyway. I’ve wrote about this before. A man thrives off of feeling needed, so if you’re mentality is “On to the next one, I can do fine without a man, My feelings or the highway etc…” you will produce a vibe that  will subconsciously be a repellent to the opposite sex. He may stick around to enjoy the sex, the affection, and good times, but his eyes will continue to wander to a place in which he can feel that he is “needed”.

Women want to feel “wanted” and men want to feel “needed”. It is a thin line, but there is a difference between the two. Before I get into the topic let me also say that there are always exceptions to every rule. Every time I write something like this I get an email from a woman saying,“ Well I knew this guy that this didn’t apply to”. Of course you do. I’m speaking to the majority. If I wrote an article saying, “Men have ten toes” would you email me saying, “ Well I disagree. I knew someone who had 11 toes?”.

No.

So lets not do that here.

It is also true that men are being emasculated today. We’re dealing with some of the most emotional, not knowing what they want, tipping toeing men of all time. This is happening for several reasons that I will be tackling in my next article,“Why Have Men Become So Effeminate?”. Women are also being a lot more masculine, and consequently we’re dealing with some of the most aggressive, detached, and combative women of all time. So I understand that these two types will be the first to write this content off before they even try comprehend it. But my intent is only to speak to the true nature of masculinity, and not what masculinity has been marginalized into during the 21st century.

Now with that being said, this article is not written to encourage women to give their man a cheat day, its more so written to get women to understand a male’s way of thinking, his nature, and his emotions more than anything. You can do whatever you want with the information after that, but understanding one another should be pivotal. So I’m going to go into several aspects arguing my case, and if you can keep an open mind and put away what YOU think, and your opinions for a moment please continue. If you’re already turning up your nose and waiting to disagree, you can stop here and leave a comment disagreeing as if you read the entire thing and understand what I’m trying to say.

I’ll start by presenting this one fact: ‘A single human male produces enough sperm in two weeks to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.

Would you or would you not agree that a creatures genetic make up has some impact an influence on what that creature does and that creature’s way of thinking? Surely a lion being born with claws and sharp teeth feels compelled to hunt animals for meat. Its teeth and digestive system aren’t made to digest grass, and so it hunts because of its biological make up . This isn’t some social construct. No one has to tell the lion that it’s suppose to hunt other animals. The lion knows instinctively that its job is to hunt because of the cards that it has been dealt. So, what would possessing enough sperm cells to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet every two weeks do to a man on an instinctual level when our bodies naturally  produce hormones that trigger us to want to reproduce? Nothing happens for no reason in nature. It is our hormones and our emotions that trigger our actions.

For example, when a man or woman becomes angry it is because their bodies are producing a chemical called catecholamine, and it is this chemical that triggers the motivation to act out in anger. Its not just a mental thing.  It’s a hormonal cause for the emotion that proceeds before the action. So in that same light, how does a woman only being able to have one child a year influence her instinctual behavior? Her traditional nature would encourage her to find one suitable partner with strong genes so that she could give birth and maintain the population of the planet. Nature didn’t create sex so that we could have pleasure, nature made sex pleasurable so that we would reproduce. If sex were painful our subconscious would instinctively shy us away from the act.

So what does a man and woman’s biological nature tell you about the way that we feel compelled to act instinctively? A man’s nature – producing enough sperm to impregnate every female on the planet; a woman’s nature – only being able to produce one child per year? Which would be the one that would be more concerned with finding a commitment with one person? And before anyone says humans have free will… sure we do, but nature still plays its role. This is why you consistently hear women saying, “All men are the same” and men saying ,“ All women are the same”. Surely we each have our own personality and things that makes us unique, but we all possess the same nature. Just as all lions are the same, and all dolphins are the same. They each have unique attributes, but when you boil them down to their nature they each do the same exact things.

And this brings me to my next point:

When a male and female copulate,hug, kiss or touch, a chemical called oxytocin is produced. Oxytocin is a bonding chemical, and this is what creates the romantic feelings we feel for one another. The body begins to crave the feel good chemical oxytocin and this creates the emotion which is responsible for attachment. The most oxytocin is produce when a woman breast is being sucked on, so if any ladies out there are with a no good man that you can’t seem to get away from; keep the guy away from your breast. This is the same chemical produced when a woman is breast feeding that intensifies the bond and connection between a mother and her child. Now, did you that know oxytocin is produced by both man and woman, but testosterone nullifies oxytocin? And the more testosterone a man has the more difficult it will be for him to be attached to any one person. The chemical responsible for attachments begins to be nullified within him. You don’t just love someone dearly because you love them, you love them because they’ve succeeded at producing a sufficient amount of feel good chemicals in your body that created the attachment. This can’t be forced and/or manufactured. A man can’t just love you the way you love him because you want him to. You have to succeed at producing high enough levels of oxytocin within him that can’t be all nullified because of his testosterone. And the more testosterone he has, the more difficult this will be. Which is why the most alpha males(men with the highest testosterone counts) sleep with the most women and have the most difficult time with commitment. He just doesn’t feel it the way that you do. So a mans ability to want to stick around with you after sex isn’t just based on how soon or how late you have sex with him. It is based on how much oxytocin you’ve succeeded at getting him to produce before, and during the act. You wait too long and see him too infrequently, and he will have produced enough testosterone to get rid of it- and the attachment. Too soon, and there simply just isn’t enough yet.

Now let me just say that it is possible to make a man produce enough oxytocin in one day if you’re skilled, and if things line up with the other factors in play, but that’s another article altogether. I will elaborate more on this in my book for woman on how to successful seduce the man they want, but what I will say is that the less sperm a man is carrying over an extended period of time the less testosterone he will have. So if he has masturbated or had sex several days before meeting you and you’re skilled, he won’t have the testosterone available to nullify the oxytocin. Hence why older men are more willing to enter a commitment because a mans testosterone count lowers as he gets older. This is not something men are aware of. For the most part we’re just on autopilot responding to our nature. So my question is, why must men be held to the same commitment standards as women when we’re not even capable of feeling the same things that women are feeling for us biologically? Should a man born without sight  be forced to pass an eye exam lest he be cast away?

Why is it that the majority of mammals on the planet exist within a system that contains few males and many females? In a cow pen there is one bull, and a bunch of cows. Lion prides contain one lion and several lioness. In a herd of deer there is usually one alpha male deer that is responsible for impregnating 90% of the females in the herd. Even in a chicken coop there is usually one or two roosters( if the coop is big enough) and a bunch of hens and the one rooster is responsible for fertilizing all the eggs. What is that telling us about the nature of male creatures? Perhaps just more coincidences.

Lets dive into commitment from a male point of view:

When a woman meets a confidant alpha male who naturally attracts a lot of women what is the usual dynamic? Typically the Alpha male will not be looking to settle down with any one particular girl in the early years of his life, and so he will be developing  non-exclusive relationships with multiple women. Because the women like him, they will put up with it for a short time before pressuring him to commit to them exclusively over all of the other girls that he’s seeing. He’ll do one of two things: If he likes her he’ll do his best to comfort her and assure her that he does have feelings for her but he’s still not ready. In other words, he hasn’t been worn down enough.  Now if he doesn’t like her, he’ll just cut her off and/or make it clear to her that it’s not going to happen and she’ll walk away or stay until she finds someone willing.

All men who have high levels of success with women have been confronted with this dynamic multiple times. Often from two or three women all at once. We know that we chase women initially to lock in their interest and to win their compliance, and then she chases us after that to maintain our investment in her and to win our commitment. Commitment is almost never actually something that WE as alpha males want. Its something that we give to our women if we value them enough over time. If we had it our way, we would have several women who commit to us that we don’t actually commit to. And this is usually what’s going on. The majority of quality women that I know tell me they don’t feel comfortable sleeping with more than one man at a time. And so they’ll be committing to men in non- committed relationships anyway. This is all just due to their nature if their nature is intact; since a woman  can only carry the child of one man at a time. Men on the other hand are able to create thousands of children a year if we have the availability. And so a man’s natural and biological feelings will be in alignment with what his biological potential is. Because most women don’t feel this desire to their core, they can’t accept the fact that we legitimately do. The majority of quality men I know are all sleeping with multiple women until they find one suitable enough to build something with.

Ask a woman why hasn’t she had sex with a thousand attractive men yet? And she’ll say something like “  That’s gross, or I respect myself and I won’t just sleep with anyone”. Ask a guy why he hasn’t had sex with a thousand women yet and he’ll tell you that he just hasn’t had the time to, or hasn’t found  that amount of attractive women willing to sleep with him.

So if commitment to monogamy is something that we didn’t even want, but we gave to the woman we love as a reward for putting up with enough of our nonsense, should we not be allowed a cheat day as a reward to us for going against our nature by entering a committed relationship once every blue moon?

What women have to understand is that entering a committed relationship is a lot more simple for them. Women are turning down dozens of men every single day that are trying to sleep with them. So once they enter a relationship they don’t have to do anything new. They only have to continue turning down men same way they were doing before entering the commitment. Every day of a man’s life he is trying to get women to sleep with him either directly or indirectly. That’s our life. So once we enter a commitment we have to perform an action that is the complete opposite of the reality that we live every single day. We’re the only ones that have to struggle with taking up a new practice and a new behavior. The women, for the most part, get to remain the same, because after all, the commitment was something that she wanted. So she’s getting something that she wants, that is congruent with her daily behavior anyway. Its like getting paid to brush your teeth, take a shower, and then commute to work. You’ll do it whether you get paid or not, so to get paid for it is a double and unrealistic bonus. Imagine your boss saying “I’ll give you a two hundred dollar bonus on every check if you eat dinner when you get off work.”. Now of course you don’t have to, but you’re likely to do it anyway, so its easy money.

When people go on a diet, they reward themselves with a cheat day because they’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what they were used to every day of there life prior. So in that same light, why shouldn’t men be allowed a cheat day because we’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what we were used to everyday of our life prior? Why can’t our women say “ Wow.. You’ve successfully went against your biological nature and motivation to populate the earth and remained with one woman for a year. Go have a cheat day baby. “  Hell, if a woman would do something as simple as saying, ” Thank you for being faithful” it would make a world of difference in how her man felt about staying strong and honoring the commitment.

The modern day, new age feminist will tell you that monogamy is a social construct, and that is a lie. Monogamy for women is a biological construct. It’s embedded in their nature and their biological potential. Once again, sex wasn’t created for us to have pleasure, pleasure is just the emotional impetus so that we will have sex and procreate. Third wave feminism is atheism. You can’t believe in a higher power and think that our biological natures weren’t created with a purpose. But shout out to all of my feminists. Pardon me. This article isn’t for you.

So I want to wrap this up by reiterating that I am not encouraging women to run and tell their boyfriend “ go have a cheat day”, your feelings should matter as well. But what we’re not going to do is coddle childish emotions that aren’t validated by anything other than more emotion, and make decisions based off of that. The discussion can be had, perhaps your man is over that stage of his life, perhaps his T count isn’t where it used to be, and he’s had his fun already. I just think that we should all strive to understand one another a lot more.

In the eleventh chapter of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said “ The woman who understand a man’s nature and tactfully caters to it, need have no fear of competition from other women. Men may be “giants” with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice.” And I completely agree with this statement. Its easy to say “only an insecure woman would go for something like this” and while an insecure woman may go for this out of necessity, a woman with the ultimate confidence may be willing to allow it because she understands.

I always tell women that men rule on the front end, we are the conscious mind and women are the subconscious mind. The subconscious is responsible for 80% of our thoughts and activity, but the thing is, the conscious mind doesn’t even know the subconscious mind is operating. A woman that understands her man and seeks to provide him with what he needs will rule her man. And the beauty of it all is, he won’t even have the slightest idea of whats going on. The insecure woman is controlled by her man, because she is trying to control him on the front end. The conscious end. Leave that to him, let him think he’s ruling.  He will feel a lot more comfortable with opening up and revealing his true feelings to you that way. The truly confident woman allows her man to have that 20% front end; the small battle, because she knows that ultimately she is ruling from behind the scenes; responsible for 80% of his activity. The women that get a thorough grasp on this, will never be short on a man that’s willing to commit to her and give her his everything.

For anyone further interested in an example of this topic you can check out this couple from Brooklyn, New York who have allowed two additional women into the relationship and are sharing one man between them three. The man and his first wife have been together for 17 years, the two other women have been with him and his wife for 11 years. How many of you have been with one person consistently for 5 years? And i’m not talking about breaking up and getting back together years later. I’m talking about a strong consistent five years. They’re all attractive women who could easily have a man to themselves if they truly wanted to. The women don’t sleep with each other, they don’t do threesomes, and there is not a sign of low self esteem insight. You can check that out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XaRjpjdui8

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

This here has to be one of the most common things men face in the field of dating that they seem incapable of coming up with a solution to. I’m asked about it religiously, theres been television shows about it, and there are many memes going around making fun of the male friend being heart broken once he’s be reminded that he is still “Just a friend”. So what does a guy do when he’s put into the dreaded friend zone? And how does he get out of it? I’m going to cover all of that here, but first, lets get the harsh reality out of the way. It is my firm belief that 9 times out of 10 men and women can not be friends. Are there examples of men and women that are friends? Absolutely. But are the MORE examples of men and women that finally reveal to there “friends” that they weren’t actually their friends; that in fact they were just pretending to be their friends, because they thought that would lead to them actually having a chance? Caertainly. This is the reason the popularity of the “Friend Zone” got as big as it did in the first place.

Now, i’m not talking about friends in the sense of “Facebook Friends”. Nor am I talking about friends in the sense that “ Me and My Ex are friends because he texts me every couple of weeks to see how I am doing.”. Men and women can certainly be friends through the internet, and through text messaging. The distance makes friendship the only option. But can men and women consistently be equal friends on both of their parts while hanging out privately with just the two of them on a consistent basis – like regular friends do? I say no. One of the two can genuinely be friends; the one that isn’t attracted to the other one. But there is almost never a case in which the both of them feel absolutely no attraction to the other.

Ladies, have you ever had a guy approach you and when you revealed to him that you had a boyfriend he replied with “ You can’t have friends? “. What does he actually mean by that? When he saw you before he approached did he think “That girl is so beautiful. She would make a great friend”. No. He approached because he was attracted, and if you didn’t have a boyfriend he would have never mentioned anything about friendship.

So, 9 times out of 10 when a guy is friend zoned he’s not actually your friend. He’s faking a friendship and waiting for his opportunity to try again. Or he is waiting until he gets the courage to reveal his true feelings to you. I know countless amounts of women that were friends with guys for years that had no clue their male friend secretly liked them until it was revealed by the guy years later.

If you want to test out what I’m saying, pick up your phone one evening and text one of your male friends “ Hey, I know we’re only just friends, but It’s been a long time for me, and I’m really aroused tonight. Would you come over and spend the night? And could you promise to keep it between us? “ and see what they say. If they do anything other than blatantly reject your offer and put the friendship on ice until they figure out whats going on with you they’re not actually your friend. If one of my male friends were to text me that message tonight that would be the immediate end of the friendship. Because we’re friends and friends only, and nothing else could ever come from this union except friendship.

I say all of this to say, that if you’re a guy or a girl with any intentions on ever getting out of the “friend zone” stop pretending to be someones friend when you know that is not what you want. STOP SETTLING. The reason you were friend zoned in the first place is because you were willing to accept that position. No one can delegate you to a place you don’t allow yourself to be. When you want something, you don’t settle for a consolation prize. We can only get what we deserve out of life, so if you don’t feel like you’re deserving of the girl you’re going after why go after her? And if you feel like you are deserving of the girl you’re going after, why would you accept less than you feel you deserve?

If you worked for a company and felt like because of your qualifications and experience you deserved to be the manager of the company what would you do if they said “ No. We’re only giving you a base salary and temp position. We’re not making you manager”? What would you do? Would you accept the temp position or would you leave? You would leave, I hope, because if you didn’t you would be sending the clear message that you don’t feel like you deserved the manager position after all. The company would also look at you and lose respect for you, because you didn’t have the courage to walk away from something that didn’t give you what you claimed you wanted. And this is exactly how a woman looks at you when you accept less than you petitioned for. When you allow them to determine what your position in their life is going to be, metaphorically they become the CEO and you become the employee. Now imagine an employee saying “one day I’m going to have the courage to tell the CEO that I want to take their position. But I’m just going to pretend to be an employee for right now until I have the courage”. It simply doesn’t work, nor does it ever happen. And even if this were attempted, they wouldn’t just become CEO because they stated this is what they secretly wanted all along. You would be investing years of time and energy into something that has less than a 1% chance of succeeding. All while you sit around listening to your “friend” tell you about all the other guys she’s dating that aren’t you.

So what do you do? You have two options.

You take the plunge – Often times the so called “friend” is waiting around to catch the person that friend-zoned them in a vulnerable position. They’re waiting around until their “friend” is sad or down or just had a break up to reveal their intentions. Is preying on the weak the behavior of a friend? Certainly not.  Hell, if you desire to get out the friend zone, you’re not a friend anyway. But even if they were to agree in those moments once they get their strength back that will be a short lived relationship. Approach them while they’re strong. Let them know that you don’t want to waste any more of your time and that you’re too attracted to them to sit around pretending to be a friend. You look them square in the eye and tell them the truth. And you go in knowing that your self-respect will not allow you to accept less than you feel you deserve; you go in willing to walk away. Then, if you two aren’t on the same page perhaps in your absence they will have the time to reflect on the qualities you brought into their life and whether or not they should give the relationship a shot.

Or

You decide you’re going to remain the friend and put all of your focus and energy on being nothing other than a friend. All while you begin searching for someone else for a romantic partnership. If you are not in a space in which you are willing to walk away I recommend you never bring it up. Just stick with this option. It will only lead to heart break, a further loss of respect, disappointment and a potential lost “Friend”. I would even recommend telling your friend something like this, “ You know, I’ve liked you this whole time, but I’ve decided that I’m just going to be your friend and I’m going to start putting my energy into finding someone for me.” That way the air is clear and things can become more definitive.

I say all of this to say “ Waiting around” has never gotten anyone anything. You’re either going to take a leap of faith in life and be willing to not succeed or you won’t ever actually live. There’s an old expression that goes, it’s better to die on your feet than live on your knees. Friend zoned guys that are hiding their intentions are currently living on their knees. And the fact that they’re willing to live on their knees is the reason they’re friend-zoned. Women simply do not like men who are afraid to take risk. When will you stand up? When will you leap off the cliff and see if you can fly? Flying won’t get any easier the longer you wait. Flying will always be flying and it will always take the same amount of effort as it always has. To succeed you’re going to have to step into the unknown. You’re going to have to jump.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


Need Help Getting Out The Friend Zone? For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

What Men Want vs. What Women Want

So yesterday in the article I wrote titled “Is Your Girl Slipping Away?” I briefly touched on the underlying rownoncept that is present in all relationships between a man and a woman; which is investment versus compliance.

My original introduction to the concept was spoken by a comedian by the name of Patrice O’Neal who began to gain popularity before his passing (12/7/1969 – 11/29/2011) for his ability to break down relationships from an abstract, yet completely relatable point of view. Patrice said “The game men and women play is pussy versus time. Men are trying to get the pussy as quickly as possible without having to give up that much of their time, and women are trying to get as much of a guy’s time as possible before having to give up the pussy”. He went on to say that women treat men that allow women to abuse their time the same way men treat women who allow them to abuse their vaginas. Men that get friend-zoned are the men that don’t know the value of their time and they see a woman’s sex as being so much more valuable than their time that they allow a woman to completely use their time up without requiring anything in exchange. The men in essence become what Patrice calls “Time Hoes”. They’re not a woman’s friend, they’re just used for male time and attention. They won’t actually have sex with the guy because a woman’s attraction is connected to her respect, and they don’t respect him because he doesn’t know his own value. The same way a guy will have sex with a girl he considers a “hoe”, but would never be seen with her in public at a movie. Women will go to dinner and movies, but would never actually have sex with him, they’ll be having sex with someone else. Its reversed.

You can check out an excerpt from the original audio “Time Hoe” below:

I was first introduced to the concept many years ago, and since I was in agreement with it I didn’t give it much thought after that; I just took it for what it was. But the more and more experience I got with women the deeper I understood what it is they truly want as women and what it is we truly want as men. I peeled back the layers and began to understand that what was thought to be just sex was compliance (Sex, warmth, status, affection, submission, power etc.). And what was thought to be just time was actually investment (Time, commitment, attention, validation etc.). Which is one of the seven fundamental understandings I adhere to when it comes to men and women relationships. This one in particular being Investment versus Compliance

There are many examples of investment that a woman wants. There is time, there is attention, there is money spent, validation, commitment, and so forth. Men all over social media are playing into the whole “time hoe” concept daily. They’re being conditioned to give away time and validation left and right with the “like” button and the comment section. These men that are liking all a woman’s pictures and leaving comments under their pictures for just being “beautiful” are secretly hoping that one of these women sees the comment and decides to message the guy as a result. Which of course never happens. What kind of woman is going to comply with messaging a guy first that is already giving away his time, attention, and validation to her just because she looks good? He isn’t requiring anything. He’s just cheaply giving away something that he should value. For a man to be more successful with women he has to know his value. He has to begin to view his time, attention, and commitment as being worth something. Something that he’s not just going to cheaply give away to anyone without cost. Women will take the validation, the same way most men will take a decent looking woman throwing sex at them, but they won’t actually respect the guy to give him the time of day, the same way you’ll probably have no interest in seeing the girl that slept with you that didn’t know her value ever again. Women don’t probably know this, but as guys we know in our hearts that something as simple as the “like” and the comment section is more often than not used in the spirit of outcome dependence. We’re not doing it for no reason, we want something in return. We want to be noticed, and we cross our fingers and hope that we will be. This is one of the things fueling the gap between beta males and attractive women. There are a lot more outlets today for them to just give away their validation to any attractive woman which subconsciously lowers their own self worth little by little. If I like a woman’s picture more often than not, I found something creative and artistic about it. And if I ever leave a comment, it will be a comment about the creativity or the effort put into the photo. Not the looks that a woman was given at birth, or the looks that a woman paid for.

Your time, your attention, and your validation has to have worth. You have to recognize that you are an entity that’s worthy of being admired. It is a mans frame of mind that attracts women. Women can easily fall in love with a man that they didn’t find attractive at first until they fell in love with his mind. The same way men can easily fall in love with a woman with a terrible personality just because she is beautiful. Its all reversed.

All men in the friend zone that don’t want to be there see themselves as worthless. They don’t value their time, they don’t value their conversation, they don’t value their attention, their touch or anything. And so a woman isn’t attracted enough to their minds to take them seriously. A woman will never take a man seriously unless she is attracted to his frame of mind. A mans confidence is all dependent upon what he perceives his own value to be. Forget what other people say about you, what do YOU believe your value is? And women will treat you according to this. For example: If I make eye contact with a woman I mentally feel that my gaze should be appreciated by a woman because it is worth something. I don’t go around gazing at everyone; and I do this on purpose so that when I do make gaze at a woman she can intuitively pick up on the value of my gaze. This is one of the reasons why I don’t go around staring at women’s asses when they walk by. I don’t care what these others guys are doing, my stare has worth, and I’m not just going to be cheaply giving it out to every fat ass that walks by. I’ll look up and appreciate Gods work of art in the sky before I start staring at every woman I see just because she looks good. Its okay to look and admire beauty, but when you begin to stare, you begin to give too much of yourself away. I tell guys I coach all the time, don’t stare at women. If you’re not going to approach them, leave them alone, because you’re giving away validation and devaluing yourself in the process. You should require something for your stare, and so approach her and if this woman doesn’t recognize your value move on and stop giving yourself away so cheaply.

So if women are going to value your investment (time, attention, and commitment) they’re going to do so because you mentally understand that value of your investment; and because your actions reflect just how much you value what you mentally claim to value. And the more and more a woman values your investment the more willing she is going to be to be compliant with your wishes for smaller and smaller dosages of your investment.

Rockstars are desired by everyone, always on the road, and paid boat loads of money for two to three hours of their time on stage. And so they will naturally value their time because of how much their time is valued by others. So naturally thousands upon thousands of women in the crowd are willing go back to their trailers and sleep with them without requiring anything in exchange. They just perceive the rockstar’s time, attention, and validation as so much greater than their compliance they’ll give it all away in hopes to equal it. Many think it is the money that brings the women to them, but I work with guys with tons of money that can’t get laid for free. Not to mention there are plenty of men without a dollar to their name that are sleeping with attractive women all the time. The truth is, it is the confidence that the value that is put on their investment (time, attention, validation) that attracts the women to them. And you can begin to value yourself to this degree without having to be a rockstar. Success can give a man value, because of confidence it can give him, but a man can create value for himself and develop confidence without having to be successful by societies definition. His high level of confidence becomes a success within itself. What women want from men is investment (Time, commitment, validation, attention) from a guy that actually has value. Women can get tons of attention and investment from guys through social media and walking down the street effortlessly, but she truly wants it from the one guy that she perceives as being valuable. The valuable guy that she respects makes her feel more secure about herself, because he is secure within himself. And once she’s secure she can take the mask off and finally breathe. A woman’s life begins once she’s secure, her power, and everything that makes her special can only be tapped into once she has that security. Many think money is the security that women seek, and society would lead you to believe this, but there are plenty wealthy single women that still aren’t secure. They still aren’t tapping into the unique power of a woman and what makes them special. Their true security comes from having a man that they can follow who is valuable and completely secure within himself.

This same concept applies to women in reverse.

Let’s take the honest Gold Diggers for example:

The honest Gold-Digger is the woman who lets a man know from the very beginning that she doesn’t value his time, attention, and validation because he doesn’t value himself and so she won’t have sex with him, but she’s willing to be compliant with one of his requests (increasing his perceived value by being seen with him) in exchange for financial favors. Similar to the honest Player who lets a woman know from the beginning that he is not looking for a relationship but he is willing to be compliant with one of her requests (time, attention and validation) in exchange for sex. They’re both pretty much doing the same thing and there is nothing wrong with this. Gold diggers and players get a bad rep because of the association with dishonesty due to the label. The players that lead a girl on into thinking that there is the possibility of a relationship, and the gold diggers who lead a guy on into thinking that there is a possibility of sex. These are the two who are wrong and interfere with the entire system. It is not the gold diggers fault if she was honest from the very beginning and all throughout the relationship, that male involved becomes upset that he wasn’t able to manipulate her into giving him sex. His expectation is his own problem, as long as she kept it all the real she shouldn’t have to deal with the emotions he experiences because he wasn’t able to trick her. Just like the woman that gets upset with the honest player who she wasn’t able to manipulate into entering a committed relationship with her over time. He shouldn’t have to worry about the emotions she experiences in the end if he was honest in the beginning and throughout the relationship because she wasn’t able to trick him.

Honest gold diggers and players are in essence the same thing. They’re opposite sides of the same coin. They both know their worth, know their value and refuse to give it away to anyone who they don’t see as being equally as valuable. But they have needs and are honest about those needs with the people that enter their life. She receives the wealth and assets she gets from a successful man, and he receives the empowering feeling he gets from having sex with an attractive woman. If the honest gold digger feels that her being in your presence (raising your social status) is worth you buying her a car and so you buy it aren’t you agreeing with her? And if this honest player feels that him giving you his time and attention is worth you giving him sex and so you give it to him aren’t you agreeing with him as well? Both of the emotional parties have to leave their agendas out of this. Because in all actuality the men buying gifts in hopes of manipulating the woman into giving him sex and the woman giving sex in hopes of manipulating the man into committing to her are the most dishonest people of all. If they were honest from the beginning and said “ I’m going to buy you these gifts for a few months, but then I’m going to try to make you have sex with me” and I’m going to have sex with you for a few months and then I’m going to try and make you commit to me” I’m sure both the player and gold digger would opt out or again make it clear that they are not going to be doing that. You don’t walk into a strip club and pay the stripper for a lap dance and then get angry because she didn’t want to also have sex with you free of charge. You paid for what you believed your money was worth. You made a payment, you received a dance, transaction complete.

So when it comes to a woman and compliance women have to put more value on the things that guys want from them or else they will be used by the guys who know their worth. In the same way I suggested to a man to put value on something as simple as his gaze a woman should put value on something as simple as her hug. The more you do something for everyone, the less valuable the energy around that action will be when its done to others.

Example: The woman that hugs every single person she sees has a hug that is of a weaker energy, feeling, and vibration that the woman that reserves her hugs (because she values them) for the people whom she feels are deserving of it. A man loves a woman’s warmth, whether its the warmth of her hug or the warmth of her vagina and the fewer people that have access to this warmth the stronger the vibration and feeling of this warmth will be when it is felt by the people she deems worthy. Value your warmth. It is of importance to men and of value to them and the warmer it is due to you treating it like its worth something mentally and through action, the more a man will value your warmth. He likely will not know why he enjoys your hug so much, he may not be sensitive enough to your energy to understand, but he will daydream about it and desire it nonetheless.

Men want to be seen with high quality women because its a reflection to other men that he is of high value. The same way women play the “beauty game” as a form of competition with other women. Men play the “Look what I got” as a status game with other men. There is a lot to a woman, but on the surface women help a man validate his own character. They’re pretty much the stamp on him. Without her, as I said in my radio interview he cannot have his crown. He can be a prince at best. But it is the woman he is with that is a reflection to him that he is king. And if you know anything about men, you know that we want power. We want to feel like we’re king. And a quality woman allows us to do that. Highly quality women get treated the same way by men as the rockstar regardless of how he looks gets treated by women. Men everywhere are willing to invest anything into them just to gain their compliance. (sex, submission, status/reverence). Know your worth ladies, come to grips with what it is that men want from you and make sure you’re getting what it is that you want as you’re giving him what he wants. There has to be a balance there to maintain the relationship. He gets too much and your value decreases, and he begins to take advantage. He gets too little, and he’ll either seek it elsewhere if he knows his worth, or he’ll become weak and turn into a man that you no longer find attractive.

Men also want to feel like leaders, its the fantasy played up for us in action movies all the time. We all want to envision ourselves as the hero that leads our team to victory. And the women willing to follow a man they value through being compliant have the ability to grant men this fantasy. We want to be the “head” of our household, we want “respect’’, we want you to “listen”. Blah blah blah, if you’ve ever been in a relationship with a man that knew his value you’ve heard it all before. We want you to look up to us and we want you to let us know that we have power as I touched on in the Dear Women, Men Want Femininity Back back article. But its also important that you do so with balance. A man needs a challenge to continue to grow and become better and any quality man will appreciate and respect you for the challenges you throw his way. He may not like it in the moment, but he’ll thank you for it in his own ways later.

So to the men, know your worth and your value and for the ones who do require submission from your woman with balance. If she became a slave you wouldn’t find her attractive. Just as a woman wouldn’t find a man attractive that completely opened himself up and consistently laid all his emotions and feelings out no matter how much she tries to convince him that this is what she wants.

Compliance and investment. As both parties require their needs from one another with balance it’ll be much easier to keep that spark alive long into the relationship. If any women and men need extra help on understanding where they stand in terms of value, more examples of ways to value themselves, and what they should be requiring based on where they are in their journey they can email me for coaching & consultation to improve this aspect and many other aspects of their relationship life at EddieFews@gmail.com with the title of the article as the subject of the email.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

So You’ve Met Someone Special?

Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?

If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this someone special is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “ someone special ” you’re an idiot.

Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met someone special. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?

The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose, you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.

Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gave you the “hit it and quit” vibe gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.

We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.

Stick to your guns. 

If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.)  influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.

We have to be stronger than our emotions.

This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.

Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.

Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.

Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.

If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, just hold firm or let her walk if she is incapable of doing so. All women will put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.

Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.

Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.

Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.

There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free?

Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom: Click Here 

The Power In A Proper Compliment

There has been a myth going around the seduction community for some time that you should never compliment a woman on her looks. That instead you should point out something unique that a guy doesn’t usually compliment her on to get her attention. While I agree that an indirect compliment will definitely lift a woman’s spirits, I can’t help but laugh at the guys who are afraid to acknowledge a woman’s beauty. And I won’t even bother addressing the men who think they have to NEG – say something negative to knock an attractive woman off her high horse just to get her attention. I would only advise the men on that level of social immaturity to get a horse of their own before they even think about connecting with the opposite sex. But back to the subject at hand..

I believe that a proper compliment based solely off of a woman’s looks is the best way to connect with her. Women carry purses that are usually filled with items to touch up their appearance( make up, mirrors, etc.) which only suggest that they worry about what they look like a lot more than men do. What better way to ease the mind of a woman than to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry about how she is begin perceived at that moment. Having put her mind at ease, she can now contemplate other matters.. perhaps even.. YOU?

Now there is a catch..

The compliment certainly has to be unique and more than unique it has to be genuine. A compliment such as “ You’re beautiful/sexy/hot/cute/pretty” is unreacted to for several reasons.

Reason #1

It’s obvious-She hears this ALL the time.

Reason #2

When you say “ You’re beautiful” you are stating it as if it is a fact. While YOU may perceive her as beautiful she may be the complete opposite to someone else. Now although she may hear the word beautiful all the time; changing “ You’re beautiful “ to “ I THINK you are beautiful “ will get you a completely different reaction – I guarantee it.

Reason #3

There is no YOU in this compliment. What more is she supposed to say other than “ Thank You ” while walking away. Exactly how do the men that walk around calling women “hot” expect them to respond? Did you think they will lean into you and start making out with you? Grab your hand, take out a pen, and write their phone number on it? In what reality does this happen and why is it that the urban man sits around waiting for miracles instead of making them happen. This is your life; waiting will only get you what waiting has already gotten you.. Which is what?

Women wear tight dresses, high heels, and even walk the way they do because they WANT to be viewed as attractive. They want some guy to be confident enough in both himself and her to compliment her beauty without fear. So compliment her beauty relentlessly, do so with passion, high energy and she’ll love for you it.

The trick to successfully complimenting a woman’s looks is to state how the way she looks is making YOU feel. She doesn’t want to know she is attractive as much as she wants to know how much her attractiveness is affecting YOU. This is about YOU, this isn’t about her looking a certain way; it’s about her beauty filling YOU with fire and desire from the inside out. No woman can resist a man confident enough to express how tempted he is to give into weakness because of her beauty.

I’ll give you an example..

Back when I experimented with the online dating thing, I realized that all men would do is compliment a woman on her looks and the women hated it. Why? Because they weren’t doing it the proper way. They would all say “ Hey Beautiful, Hey sexy, you’re hot etc. “. Now as you stated before, they could of received more responses if they said “ I think you’re sexy, I think you’re hot etc “, but I decided to take a different approach. I was going to describe in one or two lines how the way a woman looked was making me feel. I never had to read profiles.. I would just monitor my emotions while looking at their pictures and just describe this to them.

One of my favorite lines was “ damn girl..you make me wanna knit the both of us matching sweaters.“

I could send that to ten girls and get seven responses, because I was stating how the way she looked was making me FEEL.

A proper compliment tailored to a woman’s looks also does something powerful for your benefit. Not only will paying a woman a proper compliment heighten the way she perceives herself, but it will also heighten the way she perceives you. We’ve all heard the expression “ It takes one to know one “ and people are only mirrors of ourselves after all. When you comment to a person on anything they subconsciously think it must have something to do with you. So by validating her attractiveness you are also validating your own.

I used to date this girl named Natalia, and boy was she BEAUTIFUL… But she wasn’t always that way. Natalia was my next door neighbor when I lived in the suburbs. And before we were together I would see her from time to time, but I never really thought anything of her. Then one day I had a friend over who came into my house excited saying he had no idea I had such a sexy neighbor. He was also wondering why I had never made a move on her. I told him I didn’t think she was all that cute, and he told me I was crazy. So immaturely I said to myself “ Fine, I’m just going to sleep with her to score some cool points with my boy; not to mention, the idea of sleeping with a next door neighbor is a bit exciting.”

The next day I looked her up on facebook ( we went to high school together, she was three years older) and sent her a message:

Me: Hey, there’s this cute girl that lives in my neighbor hood.. You know her?

Her: (I don’t remember what she said but it was something like..) Haha yeah that’s me 🙂

Me: Dope.. So can I borrow some sugar?

Her: Sure 😉

I think she thought I was joking, but I went right on over, knocked on her door and asked for sugar. She laughed, we talked for a bit and then we exchanged phone numbers. The whole time I am thinking “ This girl is not all that attractive -I’m not even sure I want to go through with this “. But I was on a mission and I was going to complete it. I called her a couple days later, chatted with her for 20 minutes and then invited her over for a back yard picnic. So there we were, hanging out in my backyard, me still thinking she’s not that cute, and then it all started… She went into a mind state where she began describing to me how attractive I was for about fifteen minutes. She had been in a metaphorical cocoon and once the compliments began to rain, she broke out and emerged as a butterfly. My eyes glazed over and I was hers. I ate it up and for the first time since I had seen her I began to view her as all of the things she was telling me I was.

“ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – General Lew Wallace

“ A pimple turns to a dimple when you’re in love” – Japanese Proverb

Long story short

I fell more in love with Natalia that I’ve ever fallen for any woman in my entire life, all because she made a habit of constantly telling me how amazing I was. And as I stated above; subconsciously I would associate all of these great things with her even though my original opinions of her were negative. Her opinions of me, became my opinions of her and she knew this. I had fallen for her, I became emotional over her, and she began looking for a new male the conquer with her silver forked tongue.

There is a lot of power in the compliment and we must also realize that the more compliments we give out to others the more compliments we get in return. Compliments boost both someone else’s confidence and our own so it’s a win-win situation. Just make sure they’re genuine, original and tailed directly to the person. “I like your dress” doesn’t cut it; it’s cliche and heard by someone somewhere every single day. Try “ That dress goes great with the tone of your skin, how did you know to pick that color? “ That’ll open up the person and get the conversation flowing, but just remember that it has to be honest and genuine. If you love women enough, this will all be easy for you. Just begin expressing to them how much you really do LOVE specific things about them and how these things are making you FEEL.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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