Dear Femininity, Men Want You Back

My last article was on the subject of men and women holding each other to higher standards, so we can each begin to improve the quality of ourselves, each other, and the quality of mates we’re attracting into our lives.

I had received a great deal of emails from women thanking me for giving them hope, saying things like “Thank you, I now know that it’s okay not to settle for less than what I deserve”. And while I agree with them, I can’t help but notice a common theme amongst the women of the 21st century.

You ready for it?

I find that many women lack the feminine version of the qualities that they desire in a man; and also, their desire to be liked for the same reasons that they like a man. The high-majority of women who I speak with day to day, are completely out of touch with what it is that attract men, and what it is that men desire. And so they are continually frustrated, because we as men are not attracted to them for the same reasons that they are attracted to us.

For example:

I meet a lot of these successful independent women who say things like “I have my Master’s degree, I make over $100,000 dollars a year, I can fend for myself, why can’t I find a decent man?” And what these women don’t realize is that men are not biologically programmed to look at a woman for what she can provide. So the amount of money a woman makes a year means absolutely nothing to the biological reasons that men find women attractive. I would even go so far as to say that any man who is looking to a woman for what she can provide isn’t a man. That’s not how “men” are wired. Women are biologically programmed to look at a man for what he can provide, the same way they look toward a man biologically as a figure of protection. Real men (in my dame dash voice) do not operate this way. A man should not look for his woman to protect him. Imagine a man saying to a group of his friends “Yo… I love my girl man. Last night she killed a big ass spider for me. I was scared as shit. I screamed and she just jumped up and killed it. She’s dope“.

Ladies… what would you do if there was an intruder in the home and your man hid underneath the bed and asked you if you could go out and deal with it? You would probably lose every nanobyte of respect and attraction for that man. Why does that happen? Because biologically you are wired to look to a man as a figure of strength who could protect you if he could.

Ever go on a date with a man who just doesn’t make you feel “safe”? Were you attracted to that man? Of course not.

So why is it that women get into this habit of expecting us to like them for the same reasons that they like us?

I’ll have a woman say something like “Eddie… I love you” and I will genuinely say “thank you” in appreciation that she has expressed herself to me in such a way, and do you know what she’ll say?  “Why didn’t you say that you loved me too?” I’ll say “Why do you love me?” She’ll usually say something like “because you’re so funny, wise, and insightful”. I’ll respond genuinely “So why should I love you ‘too’ because I’m funny, wise and insightful? You saying that you love me right now is predicated upon how you feel in this moment. Why do you expect me to love you in this moment the same way you love me, when you’re not doing the same things I am doing in this moment to be loved?”

The problem is, many women I speak with have completely lost touch with what it is that men want and find attractive. With all of the studying they do on men, they still somehow can’t wrap their head around this concept.

So I wrote this piece as a call to women to begin checking whether or not they are the feminine version of that which a man is looking for.

If I make a $100,000 a year and you make $100,000 a year, and one of the reasons you “like me” is because I do decent financially, and I would be able to provide for you if I had too, that doesn’t mean that I am suppose to like you equally for making the hundred thousand dollars.

I say this because, I am not programmed biologically to like you for your ability to provide. We are not equal in terms of attraction in that regard. My $100,000 means something to you biologically – something to the core of your nature. But, your $100,000 means absolutely nothing to me biologically – nothing to the core of my nature. Financial security has nothing to do with the core reasons that I feel attraction for a woman.

A man will approach the girl coming out of McDonalds, with the same type of intensity and desire as the woman walking down Wall Street. If she possesses and has developed/cultivated the qualities that attract him biologically, the money that she makes doesn’t mean a thing.

I want to repeat this again… Any man who feels attraction for you because of how well you do financially is NOT a man. And you will find yourself not attracted to him, and at constant war with him after the honeymoon phase.  The man that you want, if you are in tune with your femininity, is the man that will hold you to the standards of what attracts him biologically.

So I agree that a woman should hold the men to the standard of being able to provide if necessary, and a man should hold women to the standard of being that which he finds attractive – which I’ll get into in a second.

This is not some outdated way of thinking… this is our nature. This is what has allowed us to function for thousands of years in harmony. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the world is currently being destroyed at alarming rates, and the natural fabric of how a man and woman function naturally together is also being destroyed. I believe these extremely high divorce rates, lack of couples getting married, and just unhappy relationships in general, are all a product of this confusion. And each gender is pointing the finger at the other without us realizing what the problem actually is. We are being socially conditioned away from out nature and it is destroying the reasons that we come together.

I now ask the reader… “How many people do you know that you can legit say are in a healthy and happy relationship?”

It’s gotten so bad that break up and divorces have become the norm. We almost expect it now. How often do you expect your guy and girl friends’ boyfriend/girlfriends to stay together? I find many people counting the seconds until it’s over. I know that when I was in high school and the girl I crushed on got into a relationship, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot.

So what is it that men want? Now just as being able to “provide” and being able to “protect” is just two of the many aspects that women are naturally programmed to look for in a man, I will provide two of the many aspects that men are programmed to look for in a woman. For more aspects feel free to send me an email and I can speak with you on this.

1. The Visual – Most women have a difficult time wrapping their heads around this because they believe that they are visual too. And they’re not. At least not in the way that men are visual. For an example of the difference you can watch the videos below:

The Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8

The Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUy3_kBme4M

The videos show the difference in the male versus the female reaction to being catfished. In the first video men speak with a woman on tinder who’s, fit and slender, but when she appears on the date she is about 100 pounds heavier than she was in the photo. The same thing happens in the second video; but this time its women meeting up with a guy they thought was in shape, but turns out to be 100 pounds heavier than his photo.

In this video, the women are all a lot more open to giving the overweight “deceiver” a chance than the men are to giving the overweight deceiving woman a chance. The men in the video are practically incapable of functioning. They just can’t handle or look beyond the visual. They ask no further questions, they’re completely uncomfortable and can see nothing else. The women on the other hand are open to see who this guy is, why he may have lied, and if he is someone they can at least be friends with. Someone they can possibly encourage or help. The men… well they took off running.

Now why do you think this is? If you read the comments on the video you will see that a lot of women were offended that the men didn’t respond in the fashion in which they would have responded. Which completely breaks down the reason why I am writing this piece. Men are not attracted to and/or open to women for the same reasons that women are attracted to and/or open to men. 

Let’s take Cleopatra for example: it is said that the key to Cleopatra’s consistent ability to seduce some of the most powerful men in the world in that time, is because of her understanding of the male visual. She would completely seduce and dazzle the men of that time with the visual; Robert Greens “The Art of Seduction” even quotes:

“Only one image of Cleopatra survives – A barley visible profile on a coin, but we have numerous written descriptions. She had a long thin face and a somewhat pointed nose; her dominate features were her wonderfully large eyes. Her seductive power however, did not lie in her looks – indeed many among the women of Alexandria were considerately more beautiful than she. What she did have above all women was the ability to distract a man. In reality, Cleopatra was physically unexceptional and had no political power, yet both Caesar and Mark Anthony, brave and clever men saw none of this. What they saw was a woman who constantly transformed herself before their eyes, a one-woman spectacle. Her dress and make up changed from day to day, but always gave her a heightened goddess like appearance […] by the time your head lay on the pillow beside her, your mind was spinning with images and dreams […] you never possessed Cleopatra, you worshiped her […] From Cleopatra we learn that it is not beauty that makes a seductress/siren, but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man’s fantasies […] A man is easily deceived by appearances ; he has weakness for the visual. Create the physical presence of a siren (heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner) and he is trapped. He cannot grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you. Keep up the distractions and never let him see who you really are. He will follow you until he drowns. “

Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar are both men that could have had access to the most attractive women of all kinds and creeds across the entire planet. But it was Cleopatra, “A woman that had been exiled from Egypt” with the understanding of the male visual that gave her access to the most powerful men the world had to offer. These men even neglected their responsibility and duties within their own country to remain with her in Egypt. Mark Anthony had even known all about how she had seduced Caesar and brought down his kingdom and he still found himself unable to resist her. Think about that… (I’d encourage any woman further interested in this topic to look up the book “The Art of Seduction” and the chapter titled “The Siren” which is the first chapter of the book)

2. The Desire to Feel Powerful – I spoke about this in my Go Pro radio interview  a bit more extensively, but to paraphrase… All men have this innate desire to feel as if they are kings of the earth. To Feel Powerful. The more testosterone the male has, the stronger his desire for this. It is what drives a man to want the most attractive woman to parade around and show off, and it is what drives him to want to make the most money. It is a symbol to other men that he is the most dominant and powerful one of them all. All masculine mammals in nature have this battle. There is always one male that has to rise to be the Alpha male of the group. It is even said that in some species of male animals just 5% of the males produce 95% of the children of that species. Imagine if humans were like that? Well… I can’t say that we’re that much different. I’ve heard that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. There is a masculine desire within each of us to want to dominate and conquer as much as we can. Testosterone even works as an agent to nullify oxytocin which will prevent a man from developing a chemical/emotional bond with the women he has sex with. This is why men can be so detached after sex – especially around a woman whose only way to make a man feel powerful was through the opening of her legs. Once he’s conquered what far too many women hold onto as if it’s some golden ticket that no one else has but them, he will be off to the next conquest. Unless however, a woman comes to terms with the principles that will keep the guy around.

I’ve found that far too many women remain quiet. A man wants to know when he is and how he is affecting you. He needs you to express yourself without the fear that he may or may not be feeling the same.

A woman will text a guy something like “Do you miss me? “ – Which really means she misses him, but she’s not comfortable saying so unless she is sure he feels the same. This is anti-seductive; had she had the self-esteem and confidence to be transparent and just say something like “I miss you. You make me feel so tingly on the inside, I don’t know what to do” she would be sub-communicating to the man that he is powerful. He has the ability to make her miss him and feel tingly.

One of the main reasons why a man likes to have sex is not because of the fifteen second orgasm that he gets when it’s over. It is the moaning, the groaning, and the scratching from his woman that he desires, because that is a sign to him that he is powerful. Having the ability to make a woman moan, groan, and scratch. This is why you can search the internet and find men obsessed over how to please their woman. It is not just to make a woman orgasm, but so that the man himself can feel powerful – knowing he has the ability to give pleasure.

So on the equal level of the visual I find this to be almost of a greater importance. The wives of some of today’s most powerful men on earth are not that physically attractive, but I’m almost certain that they have the ability to make their man feel powerful; and it is probably this ability that inspired the man to have the confidence to take his current position.

Be open, be transparent, and outwardly express how great his ability to affect you is, and the man will crave the words that leave your mouth to no end.

So to wrap this up… I just want the female readers to make sure that they are not trying to be the exact representation of that which they look for in a man. Rather they be the feminine representation of the qualities that men seek from them. If you want a man that makes 25 million dollars a year, just make sure you have a 25 million dollar ability to stimulate him through your visual (not just physical feature) and a 25 million dollar ability to give him dramatic and transparent presentations of what you feel his power to be. Just because a woman is making 25 million, doesn’t mean that she qualifies to get a man that makes 25 million. Because once again, he is not looking at your ability to provide to determine how attracted to you he is. If you want to make lots of money that’s great, but understand that your high level of education and the amount of money you make a year, means little to nothing to a real man’s (one that will make you happy) desire to want you for anything more than just sex.

The society of today has put too much emphasis on masculinity. It’s the only thing highlighted; so much so that many of the women today are being imitations of masculinity. No one talks about the innate power of a woman. It’s almost as if to be a woman is something you should be ashamed of. If we’re going to go forward as a society, I think it’s important that we begin to highlight both the power of a woman and exactly what that power is so that little girls can desire to be that which is closest to their nature.

It is through a great woman’s visual, energetic and transparent verbal stimulation that a man is inspired to rise to the height of his potential. Which is why the statement “Behind every great man, is a great woman” is something I whole heartily agree with. We need each other, and we need you to join us, and not compete with us so that we can live in harmony. How many of our great leaders were without a woman? Women are the divine energy. They are the inspiration for all creation on this planet. Men just take the energy that they give us and put it into practice. But it is the woman who gives birth to the energy to begin with. She conceives it, she gives it life, – the man raises it, and creates the physical manifestation of it. We are to come together as a team, each with our own role to become ONE complete body together. We aren’t meant to compete with one another the way we are today.

Men do not have the ability to conceive and inspire through the creation of energy. We create with the energy, we are not the creators of the energy.  So if women start doing what they have the power to do and discontinue being imitations of masculinity, our society and generation can rise to its greatest heights once again. And it is the responsibility of us as men to be strong enough to bring this to their attention. Far too many men are willing to just roll over and get fucked by the direction of society. What happened to our warriors? What happened to our voices? What happened to our leaders? I will be addressing us as men more advertently in my next piece.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

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So You’ve Met Someone Special?

Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?

If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this someone special is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “ someone special ” you’re an idiot.

Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met someone special. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?

The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose, you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.

Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gave you the “hit it and quit” vibe gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.

We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.

Stick to your guns. 

If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.)  influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.

We have to be stronger than our emotions.

This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.

Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.

Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.

Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.

If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, she can go fuck herself. All women will put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.

Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.

Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.

Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.

There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free?

Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

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How To Not Be Desperate

I’ll be turning more of the advice I give into articles –  it’s a lot of information that can be helpful to more than just the person in the emails I give it to. This is from a guy that asked me about a remedy for his desperation.

Hey Eddie,

Are there any books, videos, guides etc. that can help me start the long journey of destroying being desperate etc.

I think subconsciously I give it off to girls (even though I am very aware of it and actively think about it with every move I take with girls)

I know no book or video can 100% help you…but it’s a start and I am sure there are deeper issues at stake here.

Any advice would be greatly helpful.

Thanks

Being desperate doesn’t take place in action; desperation is all a reflection of the vibe you are giving off to a woman. The energy you are sub-communicating, and if you’re consciously thinking about every move thats another clear sign of desperation. There is no need to impress with anything other than the audacity and boldness you had to approach the women the way you did and begin conversation. I’ve never been into doing magic tricks and bending over backwards to get a girl to like me. I’m not a performer, I’m an attractive male offering emotional and attractive conversation. Take it – go on this emotional journey with me, or leave it and resume the life you were living before me.

The root of my audacity is the fact that to the core of my being I believe I possess something that everyone needs in their lives. Every woman and every man. I have the ability to transform the life of anyone that crosses my path, and its possible that maybe I don’t, but I believe that I do and thats what makes me attractive.

Your desperation is all a result of the core beliefs you have about yourself. How worthy you feel your contribution to social interactions to be. A man thats feels talentless and worthless will never get out there and make any impact on the world because to his core he doesn’t believe that he has anything to offer the world. And a man that believes he is of low value and women don’t NEED him in their lives will not have much drive to get out there and approach any of them.

Even this post here.. You asked for videos and books, but I believe that I could write you a post an completely change your outlook on how you feel about desperation – which can trigger a drive to make a change. Will it change your life? Maybe. Maybe not?  But I believe I have the ability to, and thats whats driving me to jock away at this keyboard.

Desperation is all a mindset. And the way you change a mindset is to fill it with new information that is the opposite of the current state that it is in. For example: What do you look up on search engines? A needy desperate guy searches, ” Why do women think I’m so desperate? ” – And what he will get in return is a bunch of information to back up and reinforce the reason he is viewed as desperate. An attractive man or a man that wants to be attractive thinks and searches ” Guide to being completely awesome and having a life of abundance ” – And he will run into information that will back that statement. So long as you search what you are and ask questions about what you are you will stay that way. You want to change? Begin asking questions about that which you want to be. That’ll help you get there.

Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits become our destiny.

You thought yourself into your situation and you can think yourself out of it. Put energy and thought into your change, the more you put in the more you get out. Saying to yourself in the mirror ” I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this universe” a thousand times isn’t half as affective as taking a paper and writing it down it thousand times. Change isn’t going to come over night nor will it come from reading all day. Take active steps in making a change in your life. You must DO something.

Its like getting in shape.. If you want to get a 6 pack you have to exercise, eat right, drink water etc. consistently for 3-6 months to get one. And depending on your physical shape when you started, it maybe longer than that. So you have to ask yourself what is your emotional condition. Are you 300 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Or are you 180 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Your emotional weight will impact the length of time you will have to actively contribute to your change ( Thinking new thoughts, reading new information, writing it on paper, saying it in the mirror, praying about it, meditating on it, etc. etc.)

Work for the change you want and understand that it’s possible that it may take a few years for you to get there. This is the microwave age, but no sustaining change comes without dedication and consistency.

Where Do I Start ?

For and foremost let me say I think its important for each man to divulge into his own creativity to come up with physical, mental, and spiritual exercises that he can do to improve his condition based off of the material I wrote above.  The more of YOU the task that you apply to improve your condition the more focused the energy being applied to situation; causing a faster and stronger improvement.
But here are a few examples..
  1. As Stated Above, Grab a pencil and a notebook and spend a hour or more (The more you put in the greater the transition) writing down “ I am fun, loving and attractive. “ – “ I possess a grand sense of humor and a irresistible charm. “ “ I Love women and women love me” – “ I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this planet.
Spend hours writing the above. Start with an hour a day. Treat it like a Job and get it done habitually. Your friends want to play videos? You stay home unless you’ve done your hour. This has to be more important to you than leisure if it is actually want you want.
Look yourself in the mirror and say the above, over and over. Tell yourself you’re the most attractive man on earth. Say it over and over it until you believe your new truth.
Meditate on the statements above, sit still close your eyes and repeat the phrases like those over and over again for 20 minutes.
This all becomes apart of the collective energy you are contributing into your change and you reap what you so. And most importantly, create your own statements, create your own affirmations. Don’t depend on my thinking process, dig down deep within yourself and pull out quotes from the man that you’re on your journey to be.
Get creative, because it will get boring, but in 6 months – 2 years (depending on where you are) it will all be worth it.
Own Your Destiny.

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For Personal Consultation via Skype Phone & IM – For one on one coaching email me at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com 

Her Deepest Love Comes In The Form Of Challenge

As it appears on the surface men tend to be driven by their egos. We want the nice cars, beautiful women, money, and the power because it does something for our ego. There is nothing about a material tangible that has any true value other than the sense of external worth it attributes to the owner. And because men are ego driven, we often find ourselves falling in love with women who have mastered the ability to feed the male ego. As men we begin to develop that “pat me on the head” motherly type of love for the women and I often find it is the men who had troubling relationships with their mothers(as I myself had) that seek this type of attention from women the most. Secretly they are still looking for mommy, and so they will find themselves attached to ego filling women. However, it is important that we know that it is not through validating the ego that a woman shows a man she loves him. When a woman decides to show a man love, attention, and affection she is in fact doing him a favor. It is not a sign that she cares about him; she is simply admiring him. And this is often where men make their biggest mistakes when dealing with the opposite sex. Men often assume that because a woman tells them how great they are that it is a sign that the women is in love with them, and so they make attempts at developing a relationship with a woman based off of that attribute alone.

When in fact a woman will lose respect for any man who just takes her words to heart and changes how he feels about her just based off her words. As men, we have to understand that when a woman tells you something like “I love you” she is telling that to the guy that you were just before she said it. It is the guy you were being to her before she said it that produced the chemical reaction in her that caused her to express her feelings. Therefore if you allow her saying “I love you” in the moment to affect how you feel about her in ANY WAY, you are no longer the guy she loves. You have become a new guy; that has changed because of the words that were said to him. You are being swayed by the motions of your woman emotions and a woman can never trust such a man. Men are to be an anchored ship during the waves of their woman emotions and not an empty plastic bottle floating on the top of the water. And so, when a woman tells you how she feels about you make a mental note to remain unmoved. Remain the guy she said it to; prevent yourself from being the new guy that has been shaped by his woman words. Because once you do that, in her spirit she no longer loves you. She loves the guy you were; and often times as we all do she will remain in hopes that you become the guy she loves once again.

And so how does a woman show her love?

Through challenge.

When a woman loves a man, she will test him and by testing him she will be creating an opportunity for him to grow from the inside out. The majority of praise will only allow a man to grow superficially. Just look at some of the contestants on shows such as American Idol in which these horrible singers go to auditions with supporting family members telling them that they can sing; only to be let down and broken-hearted when they get before the judges. Is the supporting family showing true love by not being honest and letting the singer know that they need to work on their craft before auditioning? No. They are showing superficial love; surface level support and what they don’t realize is that if they don’t tell them person they are supporting the truth the world will, and it will sting ten times as hard when the world does it. Especially after having been built up into something that they were not. A good woman knows this subconsciously, and she understand that although there is a time for praise, adoration, and affection there is also a time for challenge. And it is through her challenging you that she shows you that she loves you. Along with it being a way for her to show you she loves you it is also a way for you to show her you love her. It is a way for her to see if you will crack under the pressure of her being difficult by responding to her in an ill manner — potentially taking back some of the loving words and/or promises you made to her in the past. And if she can commit and action or stir up a reaction in you that makes you break your word; she then has to question whether you actually mean the things you say or not. So if you’ve ever told her you loved her and then you respond to her being problematic in a way that shows that you don’t; the prior expressing of your love to her has now been voided.

(Let me also say that this is not me making an excuse for women. If a woman is excessive in how she is reacting and dealing with you as a man you are free to leave her. Responding in an ill way to her is never necessary. If you must leave her leave her, but as a man you must also do so with love. Anything else will only produce anger and resentment and this isn’t necessary to the progressing of your own life. Too manypeople don’t realize that when they are angry with someone else they are doing more harm to themselves than they are the person they are upset with. As I’ve said in previous post; negative emotions literary taxes the health of our own organs and puts a gap between us and our spirituality. I’m merely suggesting that a man uses hiswoman’s difficult moments as a platform to better himself which in turn will better her.)

So, how does a man properly respond to his woman test and challenges? How does he show her that he has grown from her test and challenges so that she can feel comfortable praising him once again?

With strength, humor, and love.

Women want to be penetrated with love from their man at all times. Whether that be physically, verbally, mentally, and/or spiritually. Unlike men, it is women who grow from praise more so than through challenge. Women aren’t ego driven in the same way that men are. Praise builds them up deeply; because they don’t have the self crippling ego that we as men do. They are without that barrier and so our praise will penetrate directly to the source. Which will almost explain why the “ Power In A Proper Compliment” article I wrote before this works so effectively.

Let’s say a your woman hasn’t been feeling your love and/or she feels like its time for you to grow in an area. Let’s say she has begun to feel like you put too much value into material things and how they make you feel about yourself…

So one day you’re getting dressed and looking in the mirror and your woman walks over and says “ Eww. I don’t like your shirt “

A man must now consider a few things..

A) Ultimately a woman wants to know that you trust your highest judgment over anyone else’s(even hers); so a response  such as “ Fine I’ll change it” will speak to the weakness in your character which is probably the reason she’s testing you in the first place. Do you not trust your own ability to pick out a nice shirt? Must Mommy do it for you? Her opinion is always welcomed but did you even consider your own before reacting?

B) You get upset or deflated and say something like “ You said you liked this shirt the last time! Shut up! You can’t make up your mind”. What happens here is you’ve criticized her and displayed that she can generate anger in you however and whenever she pleases. She is in fact in control, she is leading you; how can a woman trust such a man?

C) You understand that she’s testing you. She wants to feel your love in this moment. She wants to know whether or not you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. And so you smile out of excitement that she wants to feel your love and you respond “ Thanks baby. I like this shirt, but I love how honest you are.” And then you kiss her cheek.

Option C is of course the route that the man operating from his highest intelligence will go for.

A man needs to train himself to become excited and enthralled during the times in which his woman is being difficult. Because it is during these times that she is asking him to feel his love. That she is asking him to operate from his highest self and to show her what she means to him. If her challenging moods aren’t generating strength within you, a man must ask himself if he is of high enough quality to deal with the woman in front of him. But all in all a man must remain aware that his woman usually isn’t being malicious when she is being difficult; she is only asking her man to grow. And although a man will entertain and enjoy a woman who feeds his ego all of the time, he will only stay with a woman who challenges him; because he knows in his subconscious that her challenge is an expression of true love.

Women thrive off of praise and men thrive off of challenge. A woman will enjoy doing almost anything that she is praised and loved into doing. Tell a woman how amazing she is at kissing and how much it’s obvious she enjoys kissing because of how great she is at it, and she will kiss you anytime you like. Men grow through challenge; as kids we grow when our friends say something like “ Hey man, I bet you can’t jump over that fence” — that instills us with the power and energy to make it over the fence. A woman would better make it over the fence if someone said “ You have such strong beautiful legs. I know you can make it over the fence because you’re such a great jumper “ that will instill her with the incentive she needs to make it over the fence. I find that when I respond to a woman’s test with praise; she can’t help but instantly respond with love. Even in the moments when a woman catches me off guard; and I send praise her way in a lackluster “ that shit almost got to me” kind of voice. She still appreciates me responding with praise. Instead of me snapping back at her, I respond with love and she feels my strength.  So we praise our women and they reward us by challenging us. Ain’t that some shit? That is  just how it works. Surely a woman will love us as well with affection, but that is not how they truly show their love. They show their love through challenge.

Will all of that being said, there needs to be some balance; all challenge and no praise will wear a man down. A woman still must  feed a man’s ego, she just needs to be knowledgeable enough to know how much challenge he can take so she is building him and not tearing him down. It is wise for a woman to know her man’s capacity to be challenged and start with him where he is and build him up to the level at which he can tolerate more and more challenge so the two of them can grow together.  It’s just like working out, start with the weights you can lift until you’re stronger enough to lift more and more weight. And this is no way a reason for a man to tolerate any disrespect. A challenge is never thrown in the form of disrespect, so keep that in mind. Know your borders and know your boundaries and guard them sternly, because your self-worth and value depend on it.

So as I wrap this up, as men we have to learn to celebrate within ourselves in the times in which our women are being a challenge. This is the only way we will be prepared mentally enough to deal with the test and challenges they throw our way; which evidently will result in the both of you growing anyway. And if your purpose on this planet is to learn and grow as much as you can this should be something you welcome with open arms.

Praise your women to show her you love her and she will return that love to you in the form of challenge, because if she truly loves you, she only wants to make you better.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews

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Disrupting Her Reality

Have you ever wondered how you can get beautiful women to chase you? 

How you can get the attention of beautiful women women without doing much of anything? 

No matter what method you use, the key element to every method involves disrupting the reality of a woman. I have learned how to get a beautiful woman to come after me and chase me down. 

Now, there is more than one way to do this; you could throw your shot glass at her from across the bar and hit her square in the face… Don’t do that. 

Or my preferred method. 

You could simply change you way that you look at all the beautiful women you desire. 

When I do this, she now becomes the girl that I “wanted” (past tense). 

Do you ever wonder why it is always the unattractive girls that are seeking out your attention? Why can’t it be the supermodels and strippers that are drooling all over you? It certainly can be, but you must first take them off of that psychological pedestal you have placed them on. 

Many men have made a commitment to themselves to no longer drool over beautiful women and many have given up buying them drinks etc. But few have managed to discontinue idolizing these women in there minds. Some guys can handle not even staring at them anymore, but how many of you feel absolutely nothing on the inside when a 10 out of 10 hottie walks by you on the street? 

For you to understand this concept you must first understand that humans emit energy from their bodies every second of every day. Whatever it is you are thinking and feeling at the moment, that is the energy other people around you are feeling from you. 

Have you ever had one of those days when you are feeling on top of the world, like no one can touch you and everyone just seems to be responding to you positively? 

That is because your thoughts revolve around positivity and you are sending that positive energy into everyone around you. Wouldn’t you like to have that feeling a lot more often…? Don’t you want to Feel Like “The Man” More Often? 

There are a few things that help with this; the most important thing is what you are eating and drinking. What you put into your body is a direct reflection what’s on the inside; Mentality physically and spiritually. Hence the reason for the expression ” you are what you eat”. 

It’s simple logic that if you eat good you will feel good. I challenge you to begin checking the ingredients labels on the food you’re consuming and research exactly what some of that stuff does to your bodies, your mind, your spirit; you will be surprised. 

Another important thing is your breathing; when the brain is properly oxygenated it creates endorphin and endorphins are the same chemicals that make you feel good after a long work out. Pay attention to your breathing when you are feeling anxiety or fear; the breathing is likely to be shallow and rapid. On the other hand, when you are feeling good the breaths becomes deep and long. Train your self to take deep long breaths while in the face of any situation and your body will begin to repeat this habit on its own. 

How does this tie into beautiful women you ask? When you feel good, you have a higher sex drive, emit positive energy and people will just want to be around you. Simple as that.. 

Back To Disrupting Her Reality 

To disrupt her reality you have to give a woman a reaction energetically that is the complete opposite of everything you feel from other people everyday. 

You need to emit an energy that causes an alarm in her current reality; in order to bring peace back into her world she must do everything it takes to shut that alarm off( making you see her as a goddess like everyone else does). Everyone else becomes irrelevant and you become the only thing that matters. 

Just imagine if we managed to achieve world peace and in the hearts of every man they vowed to never kill or harm another; and then all of a sudden one guy started killing and hurting people. He could kill whoever he wanted and be untouchable because no one else would do harm. 

He would cause a disruption in the accepted reality and everyone else would have to abide by his rules in order to get him to stop. He becomes the most important person in the world because he is the only one rebelling. This man can then become king of the world as long as he vowed to never kill another. 

This is what you must do with the beautiful women that men so desperately want. Shake up their world; every other guy sees them as some super goddess and emits that energy into them. You must emit the opposite, when you do they will do anything at any cost to get you to stop. So they can resume their world of peace where everyone sees them as beautiful. 

You have to turn up the violence(metaphorically) and disrupt her world and she will do anything to bring back the world peace. Even if that means, making you king over her world. 

How do you do this you ask? 

Instead of turning you energy to the beautiful women when you see them you turn you energy to inward( I go deeper into this in my boot camp). She is no longer some super goddess, she is just a woman. No different from the over weight girl that passed by right before her. 

They both have two arms two legs, tits and a vagina. Disrupt her reality guys, all women are equal, the hot one is nothing special. Ask yourself when you see any women you want, “how can I disrupt her reality?”… And then she is yours. 

Game and seduction is 99% mental guys… Every memorable experience you have ever has is because the experience disrupted your reality. This is why this is so important.. You can do this guys! 

By Eddie Fews 

I run a boot camp that goes into a lot more depth on this subject. You will learn how to effectively turn all of you attention inward and truly disrupt her reality. For more details on my “Disrupt her reality Boot Camp” email me at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com 
Also for dating, seduction and relationship consultation via Skype, phone or instant messenger email me as well. 

Need help getting you ex back? I’ll show you how. 

For 1 on 1 face to face personal coaching email me as well. EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

You Don’t Have It Because You Don’t Deserve It

 I’ve began to notice that everyone has a poverty like mentality when it comes to a particular area of their lives. There are poor men and women everywhere that are victims of thoughts that keep them enslaved to their conditions. Think poverty, talk poverty, and you will manifest poverty in your actions. Think wealth/abundance, talk wealth, and you will manifest actions that’ll lead to wealth. For many this happens unconsciously because they were raised by poor/wealthy families that have lead them into the thinking pattern they have today. So they go on producing and accepting having or not having.

So what poor mentality am I talking about ?

If love/sex were coins, many of you men would be homeless, strung out on the floor, shaking your coffee cups, and begging for change. It’s pitiful honestly; I see the tweets, the statuses, facebook comments etc. I almost want to shake some of you guys up so y’all can come to your senses. We’re idolizing and worshiping our women from a point of inferiority. I have no problem putting a woman on a pedastol, but I must first secure my position on my own pedastol. This isn’t fan telling a rockstar how amazing they are. This is a rockstar telling another rockstar that they like them too. Any coincidence that most celebrities date other people in their industry? They’re idolized by almost everyone else.But the worse part about the analogy I started this paragraph off with is most men don’t even realize that that’s how they are seen by every woman they idolize.

Would you date a homeless woman who sits around begging all day? No. There is nothing she could do to get you to do so. She could call you handsome and compliment you all day long but it just wouldn’t happen. Mainly because she hasn’t taken care of herself yet, so how could she possibly have anything to offer you? In terms of self wealth and value, a lot of our men have not taken care of themselves. Women are going after each other now. They’re “independent”, they don’t need us, because we aren’t offering anything.

If you guys want to get up off the floor and dust yourselves off its time to know what you deserve. Anyone that has anything, felt or feels like they deserve what they have. Even a spoiled brat kid with a million toys that wants more feels like he’s deserving of another one. So when he approaches his parents for a new one, he communicates to them from a deserving position. This is the same position you must come from when you approach, speak, or comment on women.

Everything you do must say ” I deserve you.. and I came to find out if you deserve me “

You can even turn this into a practice on your daily travels. Every time you see a woman you find attractive whether on Facebook or in person say to yourself ” I deserve you.. “. This is how you will begin to train your thoughts to feel worthy when you communicate with a woman you find attractive. You can even apply this same mentality to that new Porsche you have your eyes on. When you see that new car, that house or job you want tell yourself ” I deserve you”. After enough repetition you will be one step closer to attracting the things you deserve.

I was always taught that I can have anything that I truly feel I deserve. It’s more than just saying it, it’s believing it, but saying it is where it starts. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habbits, our habbits become our character, and our character becomes our destiny. Let’s stop begging and start attractive the things we believe we deserve.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews

Become King Of The Seduction Jungle

From the Discovery channel to many peoples favorite Disney film, we’ve all heard it before; lions are the “king of the jungle”.

Now I’m no zoologist but as we all know, lions eat, sh!t, and sleep all day long and barely have to lift a finger. Male lions have on average four to five Lioness(Female Lions) at their disposal that both bring them food, has sex with them, and looks after the children while the lion relaxes in front of the Sahara sun licking his fur. But the best part is, the Male lion gets to eat first; he gorges himself in meat and blood, leaving the scraps and remains for his five mistresses to contend for.

Ever wonder how they do it? Today’s Feminist Western women probably vomit in their mouths at the thought of a lifestyle like this but it is very well possible in today’s society. In fact, a perfect example of a of lions spirit reincarnated is the ” P.I.M.P.” ; a pimp sends women to sleep with men for money and keeps the larger percent of the cash. The prostitute takes all of the risk and does all of the work but still manages to make sure the Pimp “eats first.” Now in no way do I support what pimps do but there is always much to be learned from anyone achieving success at high levels, and if you are seeking to improve your seduction skills, there is much to be learned from the lion.

Selfishness

Think about it, lions are the most selfish creatures on earth, What does the lion do? He sits around while the Lioness’ go out and capture HIM food, and once they return he eats FIRST. Does that sound selfish to you? The lion doesn’t help raise the baby lions and he doesn’t let any other lions have sex with any of his women. And because of this, the Lioness continue to do anything that is going to make him happy. I know a lot of readers are probably thinking, ” That’s a really misogynistic thing to say” to which my only reply is, “Have fun your internet porn.” Oddly enough, women go nuts for selfish men; how many girls do you know who can’t seem to let go of some selfish asshole right now? Its a sad thing that society is this way but if this is what works, why must we reinvent the wheel? If the majority of attractive women already go for selfish men, you’re simply giving them what they want anyway. You’re not an asshole, you are actually doing them a favor by making it easy for them to want you.

In fact, women are most happy when they are making men happy. Think about the smile shines across a girls face and the joy that fills her eyes when you tell her how awesome the meal was that she just cooked. What about how deeply she embraces you when you compliment her on how great she was in bed. Have you ever seen her happier than that?

Set Boundaries

Women in relationships with men who know how to draw boundary lines are a lot happier than women with pussy men who let them walk all over them. The woman is unhappy because not only does she have to be a woman, she has to take on the role of the man when he’s too weak to make a decision. She also has to listen to him whining and complaining all day long; and that must be stressful to deal with. A woman with a strong man that can put her in her place is happy because all she has to do now is relax in the comfort of being a woman.

Have you ever heard this before?

” What on earth does she see in that guy!? What an asshole! She can do way better! If she was with me I’d treat her like a Goddess”

That mentality is the very reason why the attractive women you want don’t want to be with you. She wants a selfish man, she’s disgusted at the idea of someone wanting to treat her like a Goddess and groveling for her attention. The guys who she wants to be with simply demand her attention, and if she refuses he understands that there are a lot more women who won’t. Just think about what would happen if a Lioness refused to give the alpha lion attention. Would he put up with it? No, he would easily just walk over to the next Lioness who will give him what he wants.

No More Mr.Nice Guy/Stand Up For Yourself

If your brain works half as well as the rest of ours, it is pretty obvious that the women who are head over in heels in love with a guy are rarely if ever in relationships with an ” extremely nice guy”. So what do you have to do to get with women?

Drop the Mr.Nice guy act and begin to do what you want to do. No more compromising and accompanying her to see the latest movie in the twilight series because you “think” it is going to make her happy. If you are doing something that you don’t not want to do, she will be unhappy to know that her boyfriend is too much of a Sissy to stand up for himself.

Lets say you are out walking with your woman and some teenage kids come up behind you, aggressively bump you and your girlfriend, and laugh and keep walking. Now she may not want you to beat up a bunch of little kids but how disappointed in you do you think she would be if you didn’t say anything? What if it was a more harmful situation? How can she ever feel safe when she goes out with you? The lion would never let a stray lion coming into his territory and do the slightest bit of harm to him or anyone of his Lioness. He defends them and as a result they do anything to make him happy, but if he loses the fight he must give up everything he owns.

Being attractive to women involves you taking an alpha lion stance toward them and the rest of the world. If you remember to refuse to comprise, set boundaries and stand up for yourself you’ll enjoy the luxury of loving, serving women just as the lion does.

By Eddie Fews

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I’m Dating & Seduction Coach Eddie Fews- I work with men on various things from improving their text messaging to approaching and meeting women on the sidewalks, stores and coffee shops all over the world. Although we have shortcomings, we should constantly be working on improving and building ourselves into better more efficient people.

If you need that extra push and motivation to get out there to meet and date more women and want to expand upon your seduction skills Email me: EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com to check my availability ,rates, and you will be contacted by me or one of my representatives within 48 hours . I do in person one on one coaching along with consultation through Skype, Instant Messenger and phone calls.