Social Changes To Improve Social Success

I watched an interview not too long ago where I was reminded of a time when I was recently confronted with energy from a social situations negative affect on my level of productivity. If you own a copy , The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom you would have read the law on the numbing of our everyday senses. This is especially true in large cities such as my own (New York City). We as people are constantly being bombarded with information, bright lights, foul smells, loud noises, etc. that are so unnatural to humanity that they are slowly but surely destroying our capacity to FEEL. The numbing happens so gradually that one cannot fathom what is even going on, unless they “resensitize” themselves to their environment. Anyone that has ever gained or lost weight can tell you that without photos of themselves or the changing number on the scale they could not notice the difference between their body when they were just 10-15 pounds lighter or heavier. That is largely due to the fact that we are with ourselves and looking at ourselves daily. It’s a challenging thing to follow, besides the majority of our perception of our external is due to the emotional state of our internal. Ever feel really great in an outfit one day and then feel shitty in it just a couple weeks later? The outfit didn’t change and neither did our bodies, the only difference now is the mindset.

So, as I have been resensitizing, I had been able to pick the influence subtle energies had been having over how I’ve been feeling throughout my everyday life.

Just recently I decided to begin a new routine where I would begin taking my work out of the home to great cafes in affluent parts of New York City. While working from home I would often find myself working from the bed, falling asleep every other hour and getting ‘ just enough to get by’ amounts of work done. While working in areas surrounded by other workers I became influenced by the collective energy of productivity. I had yet to develop a work space in my home and considering my neighborhood, the energy that radiated throughout my building/neighborhood was not exactly one of wealth builders and productive personal. So I purchased my monthly metro card and vowed to head outside of the house a minimum of 5 days a week to the best neighborhoods New York have to offer.

When I first made the decision, I was very much excited. The simple thought of a new routine that would bring a higher level of wealth and positive energy into my life had my mind racing with new ideas and personal goals. I jumped up, got dressed, threw a good unread book and my Macbook into my business bag and ran for the door. When I got to the front of my building I was confronted by a well-known lethargic resident with a zest for conversation about sports and rap music. A mid-forties man with a good heart who had never really accomplished much; nor did he ever appear to have a desire to. He is content where he is and that is fine for anyone who wants to live this way. I’ve always considered him an acquaintance and whenever he would see me he couldn’t wait to stop me to discuss the latest hip-hop and sports news and this time was no different.

As I exited the front door he delightfully called out “Yo man… did you see any new rap battles lately!?”, I respond politely, trying my best to hold onto all of the new ideas I came up with just before leaving the house “Nah not yet… what’s a good one to watch?”. We go back and forth a bit and before you knew it I was sucked in! Ten minutes had passed and I was still here talking about things that weren’t going to get me anywhere. At around the fifteenth minute I had begun to feel like going back up stairs and taking a nap. I honestly had forgotten all of the ideas and all of the passion that I once had to tackle my new routine, had dissipated all at once. At this moment I realized that I had begun to share energy with the fellow that I was speaking with. Some of my passion had naturally diffused into him and some of his lethargy had naturally diffused into me energetically.

It’s no surprise that we hear statements like “He’s a product of his environment” and “A man is a combination of the five people he spends the most of his time around”. It’s all the subtle distribution of energies going from one person into the other and so on. And as soon as I had this realization I instantly looked at my “former” neighborhood acquaintance and said “Hey man… I gotta go”. I hauled off still feeling unmotivated and lethargic, but just an hour afterward my ideas and passion had begun to return. I was back with a vision and a new perspective on social interactions.

We as people must understand that we are not just what we eat, but we are what we consume through all of our senses. Every sense is collecting information for the brain and thus telling it how to respond to its environment. Just as the eyes adjust to allow more light in so one can see in a dark room, the mind and energetic vibrations of our bodies adjust to the people we share energy with. The body is made to adapt to its environment, whether for the better or for the worst.

The music we listen to is a part of our diets. The noises from the environment around us is a part of our diets. A man living in a home in which there is much debate and quarrel is consuming the energy from the quarrel from the ears without even knowing. These things all influence the direction of the mind. These are a part of our ear’s diet.

The programs we watch, the books we read, the posters, and signs on our walls are a part of our eye’s diet. The neighborhoods, the quality of light, the cleanliness etc.  This is why I recommend solar gazing to all who are capable. Staring into the sun has many benefits, but one of the main benefits is its direct source of food for the eyes; and the eyes are closest to our brains. Its brain food; light into the eyes shining directly into the brain.

The food we taste, the drinks we drink all are a part of our mouth and body’s diets. The stomach creates blood from the foods we consume – blood cell create tissues, and tissues come together to make and repair organs. Not to mention our blood is the body fluid that is directly connected to our spirits. Poor blood, because of poor food consumption will result in a poor connection with the spirit.

The comfort around us, the quality of the materials that are on our skin; the plushness of our beds all tell the body whether it should remain in that section or not. When in a cold environment the brain sends signals to the body to seek warmth, and when in a plush environment the brain sends signals to the body to remain present. This is why many have trouble getting out of their ultra comfortable beds in the morning. The body seeks pleasure and comfort and when those things are present, so does the innate motivation to do anything. The bodies being told that it’s in good space.

The smells we take in are all a part of the diet of our noses. Ever walk into a smelly room and are initially disgusted by it until your body is sent the signal from your brain that this is natural and so you smell the smell no more? You have adapted to the smell of the room; the brain has sought to deliver you “comfort” in your current environment. And if the brain is told to seek comfort in the presence of foul smells, it will begin to wire itself to seek this whenever you are away from that which it has taught itself to adapt to. This will have a subtle influence on how the mind is wired to seek “needed”.

And once again, these things all happen so gradually and slowly that it is challenge to notice that any change is taking place. This is why it is important that we resensitize so we can know how we’re being influenced by our external environments. We’ll reengineer our ability to FEEL the subtle changes.

So anyone struggling with a level of motivation can easily create change in their life by switching the environment. Whether that be moving the body some place more influential physically or by changing the signs/posters/music/food/level of comfort around them within the home.

Our circumstances won’t change until we change our entire diets.  And our diets are largely due to what is going on in our environments.

One love.

Eddie Fews  


For direct help on redesigning your everyday consumption and/or for direct  spiritual, social, or dating consultation feel free to email me now at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

Let ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom‘ change your life. Just click the link below –>   Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

She Will Follow So Long As You Lead

I woke up to an epiphany this morning that will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. I intend to share it here in hopes that it can have at least some of that effect on anyone that reads this.

So I’ll just get into it..

I have been dating this woman for the past month and a half and she’s been great. Now of course no one is perfect, she just encompasses all the positives I could say I wanted before I met her. I remember saying to myself after the first few weeks of knowing her that “ I don’t know if there is somebody out there for everybody, but there was somebody out there for me. “ She’s that.  So anyway, like many of us do while going into a relationship that seems promising from the start my naivety led me to the assumption that things we going to be easy. I assumed that because we were so well matched that any conflicts that we could have would be minor and insignificant. And boy was I wrong. I’ve always known that women test us as men. The test aren’t intended to be malicious; their test are carried out simply because they want us to become better than we are. A woman needs to be able to feel her mans strength; she needs to know that her man can handle her in her wildest moments so that she can be secure in being with him. A woman wants to feel safe with her man, she wants to know that she’ll never be left out to dry, and the more you ensure her that she won’t be, the more she must test you to see whether or not she can trust your word.

So I always tell guys to encourage there woman to be strong; compliment her and help her become a greater version of herself that she can be so that the test she throws your way are more intense.  Their test can only make us stronger and as long as a man is rooted in his masculinity he never need worry about passing a test thrown at him by his woman. As a young guy I would worry about boosting my woman confidence  because I would be in fear of her getting out control. I liked her how she was – easy to handle, and so I tried my best to keep her that way, because she was at a level that I felt comfortable handling the things she threw at me. And so I would begin to resent the women I was with; they weren’t pushing me to grow and so I lost attraction for them. I wouldn’t stay with them all while being too immature to understand what was happening and so I would repeat this cycle over and over again. Eventually I understood what was going on and began to do the opposite. I began to compliment my woman more, telling her what she meant to me, and how important I believe what we have is. And what I found is a woman doesn’t take this new found self esteem to use it to lift her head above the world. She takes that energy and uses it to give it right back to me. I discovered that women were saving accounts with interest rates beyond my wildest explanations. They give us back everything we give them with a lot more behind it. I’m almost certain that old expression “ Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn” had its inception in a case in which a man wronged his woman deeply and so she gave it back to him with the interest I spoke of. And so if a man understands this, he understands that he can never out give his woman whether for the good or for the bad. Show her strength and she will be weak around you so that you can feel stronger; show her weakness and she will be strong around you in attempt to make you strong. Become weaker in this face of her strength and she will become even stronger and eventually devour the man that doesn’t rise up and claim what is his masculine right. Black women tend to get the reputation for being “Strong” and hard to deal with, and I believe that is due to the men not being able to rise in the face of their strength so the woman can feel comfortable being weak around him. A woman is a mans polar opposite and if he won’t rise to the plate and display his strength she will have to reflect it in hopes that he will recognize her for this and pick up the slack. A strong woman will always make a strong man.  And it is through her releasing of that strength by being weak around the man that she can trust to be responsible with her, that he will rise up in both his strength and power. And in this they become one flesh.

So I had to relearn what I stated above over this past week. The time had called for me to deal with the imbalance being reflected to me by my partner. She was calling for more strength and I wasn’t centered in my masculinity enough to give it to her; so as she once would shrink in the face of my strength so that i become stronger; she grew stronger in the face of my weakness. She had began to take notice of my controlling nature and she was calling for me to be better than this. I couldn’t see it at the time; all I could wonder is why on earth my woman was all off a sudden such a challenge to deal with. She wanted more, because I was asking her for more.  She wanted me to be greater than the selfishness within me that lead me to wanting things exactly how I wanted them and when I wanted them.

At first I was struggling with the imbalance because I was consciously trying to assert myself over her in order to get respect. And it is through that situation that I understood that instead of asserting myself, all I need do is relax back into the masculinity that I have been given that I  will prevail and my woman will trust me once again. It is nature and it is natural to a woman rooted in her femininity to want her man to be strong so that she can feel comfortable with surrendering herself to him. Women want to surrender, they just mean a man strong enough to handle them when they decide to give themselves.

After the night of conflict I had woke up to the answer; it was streaming through my mind clearly. It said “ You don’t have to give your woman instruction. Let her be who she is and have patience. If you’re practicing what you preach she’ll follow “. And so that was it. I had spent so much energy in relationships trying to assert my authority over my woman and giving them instruction that I didn’t understand that the women in my life weren’t listening to what I said as much as they were listening to what I do. Through the showing of a mans strength his woman naturally begins to pick up on his behaviors (both bad and good). So if a man can remain patient and remain strong in the face of his woman doing things that are unpleasing, she will eventually alter her behavior to reflect a behavior that will cause her man to feel more love for her. And the stronger a man in his what he is asking his woman to do the quicker she will begin to do as he would like. I had been telling women in my life to do things that I wasn’t full committed to doing myself and I had to understand that  as the leader in the relationship I can not expect something out of someone before I was fully giving that myself.

So this is my calling to all men to lead more so by action and less so by word. As Ive stated many times “ Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny. Lead your women first by your destiny, then your character, following your habits, your actions, and then your words/thoughts.

Now it is okay for a man to give instruction to his woman; in fact most women like and appreciate this, just be sure to do so from a place of understanding. From a place in which you are sure that the things you have asked have made it all the way to your destiny before you put it upon others. Because the more you ask of her, the more that she will ask of you so that she can be compliant. Rise into your strength and relax into the man that you were called to be and all imbalances experienced with your woman will quickly dissolve.

Peace & Love to all the readers.

Eddie Fews

Anyone seeking dating and relationship advice or private consultation just click here and I’ll be with you within 24 hours.


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

Let ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom‘ change your life. Just click the link below –>   Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

You Don’t Have It Because You Don’t Deserve It

 I’ve began to notice that everyone has a poverty like mentality when it comes to a particular area of their lives. There are poor men and women everywhere that are victims of thoughts that keep them enslaved to their conditions. Think poverty, talk poverty, and you will manifest poverty in your actions. Think wealth/abundance, talk wealth, and you will manifest actions that’ll lead to wealth. For many this happens unconsciously because they were raised by poor/wealthy families that have lead them into the thinking pattern they have today. So they go on producing and accepting having or not having.

So what poor mentality am I talking about ?

If love/sex were coins, many of you men would be homeless, strung out on the floor, shaking your coffee cups, and begging for change. It’s pitiful honestly; I see the tweets, the statuses, facebook comments etc. I almost want to shake some of you guys up so y’all can come to your senses. We’re idolizing and worshiping our women from a point of inferiority. I have no problem putting a woman on a pedastol, but I must first secure my position on my own pedastol. This isn’t fan telling a rockstar how amazing they are. This is a rockstar telling another rockstar that they like them too. Any coincidence that most celebrities date other people in their industry? They’re idolized by almost everyone else.But the worse part about the analogy I started this paragraph off with is most men don’t even realize that that’s how they are seen by every woman they idolize.

Would you date a homeless woman who sits around begging all day? No. There is nothing she could do to get you to do so. She could call you handsome and compliment you all day long but it just wouldn’t happen. Mainly because she hasn’t taken care of herself yet, so how could she possibly have anything to offer you? In terms of self wealth and value, a lot of our men have not taken care of themselves. Women are going after each other now. They’re “independent”, they don’t need us, because we aren’t offering anything.

If you guys want to get up off the floor and dust yourselves off its time to know what you deserve. Anyone that has anything, felt or feels like they deserve what they have. Even a spoiled brat kid with a million toys that wants more feels like he’s deserving of another one. So when he approaches his parents for a new one, he communicates to them from a deserving position. This is the same position you must come from when you approach, speak, or comment on women.

Everything you do must say ” I deserve you.. and I came to find out if you deserve me “

You can even turn this into a practice on your daily travels. Every time you see a woman you find attractive whether on Facebook or in person say to yourself ” I deserve you.. “. This is how you will begin to train your thoughts to feel worthy when you communicate with a woman you find attractive. You can even apply this same mentality to that new Porsche you have your eyes on. When you see that new car, that house or job you want tell yourself ” I deserve you”. After enough repetition you will be one step closer to attracting the things you deserve.

I was always taught that I can have anything that I truly feel I deserve. It’s more than just saying it, it’s believing it, but saying it is where it starts. Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habbits, our habbits become our character, and our character becomes our destiny. Let’s stop begging and start attractive the things we believe we deserve.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews

Fight Your Demons

For some strange reason many of you so called “Players” out there think you’re going to reach a level where you no longer feel nerves or anxiety. The odd part of this is you think you are going accomplish this by reading tons material on the internet.

So that’s the plan?

You’re going to read every article on Way of The Player 10 times each and every butterfly floating around in your tummy will vanish? Well… I’m sorry to break it to you fellas, but you can kiss that theory goodbye. Last time I checked nerves and anxiety were natural human emotions felt by all of us and until science reaches the level where they can extract specific emotions from our DNA its just going to be something we have to deal with.

But continue reading, because there is some good news. The good news is you will become better at dealing with and handling your anxiety over time. However that is NOT going to happen if all you do is read articles on Way Of The Player. We appreciate every visitor and member of the website, but reading this material is NOT enough. Way of the player is full of great stories and information that will certainly give you an edge over the guys trail an erroring their way through this whole thing. But, reading and just reading will never be good enough. You MUST get out there, push through those silly nerves and take action. And this is why in our Ebook “The Player Handbook”, we’ve designed a step by step 30 day plan that will get you out of your shell and into the action.

We all have our demons and some of us allow our demons to regulate our choices. Others choose fight the demons and choose to operate from the position of us that wants to be great, the part of us that wants success. Nervousness and anxiety are nothing but your own demons working to keep you suppressed and unsuccessful  Too many of us are losing the battle to our own selves and its about time we get sick of it – You are your own worse enemy  You know those mornings where you wake up and just don’t feel like getting out of bed to go to work? What would happen if you gave into that demon and let it win the battle against you every time?  You wouldn’t have money, clothes, food, or a place to live. You take action against that urge to stay in bed because you know you have to survive. Carry that same mentality over into your love life – View being successful with women the same as you view making money to survive. If you give into your anxiety and don’t go approach, you are staying in the bed and not going to work.

The anxiety will never fully perish; you have to fight your demons. I have approached hundreds and hundreds of women, I’ve been doing so for years, and I still get nervous before making my first approach. The only difference is now I react before the emotion has time to spread. I’ve become better at taking action anyway because my confidence “Angel” has become more influential than my anxious “demon”. When I feel nervous I now become excited because I know I am being faced with an opportunity to push myself unto the next level. And I have only become this successful by dealing with negative emotions because I have taken actions against it; not because I read a bunch of words on the internet.

In the words of the great Jay-z ” They’ve read a bunch of words, I’ve lived a bunch of life. I have made approach after approach at the times when I was trembling with fear – I fought myself- Its the one and only way. Rockstars that have been performing for years have admitted to still getting nervous right before going on stage but once they sing that first note or say that first word, the nerves all vanish. This is what will happen to you when you start pushing through your own self.

If you haven’t done so already; log onto to the Way Of The Player Forums( Click The “Forum” Tab at the top of this page) and start a journal in the “Player Chronicles” section. Its time to get up out of bed and fight your demons.

Eddie Fews

Let Go Of Women – Its Important

I’ve began to understand that every issue men have with women stems from the exact same place. Too often men are attacking the minor issue, where if they would just destroy the foundation that is keeping them from getting what they want, the entire “issues with women” building would come tumbling down. Its like cutting weeds, if you just cut the part of the weed that you can see it will continue to grow back. But if you would just dig down and pull the weed up from its root, it’ll have no base to return from.

So whats at the root of every mans issue with women?

I had been listening to a Snoop Dogg interview in which he told a story that has the answer directly in it.

Snoop had joined platinum recording R & B artist “Usher” on a cruise ship filled with women to shoot a music video. When snoop arrived to the video shoot, he greeted usher and was introduced to Ushers new “lover”. Snoop claimed the lover was smoking hot and one of the more attractive women he has seen in a long time. Usher had then revealed to him that he found the girl special an was romantically into her.

Long story short..

They wrap up the video shoot and Usher says to snoop ” Hey man, I don’t want to send you away empty handed. Pick out a couple of these women and I’ll send them with you on your boat.”

Snoop looked at Usher, smiled and jokingly said ” The only one I want is your girl. The one you introduced to me earlier”.

They both laughed and without hesitation Usher called her over and sent her with Snoop.

Snoop then says to the interviewer “And that’s what you’re suppose to do. She doesn’t belong to you, she belongs to the game.”

Can you imagine?

You finally meet one of the “Special” girls that you really like and then having to give her up right when things are getting serious?

I’ve always been taught, that you can have anything at will when you learn to live without it. I’m willing to bet, Usher went on to meet three more girls who he felt were more special than the girl he let go.

Guys that deal with a lot of women know what I mean by ” Special” girls. There are always those women who shine a bit brighter than all of the rest. When you run into these types you’ll often feel like you have met the one. And they will stick around as long as you are willing to let them go – when and if it comes down to it. If things don’t work out and you “completely” let them go, you will be happy to discover that there are more of these “special” women out there.

You may even notice this when it comes to a persons financial life. The people that hoard all their money and are always bickering about who has to pay what never seem to have much money. I know this first hand because I was once one of those people; all of my money was “mine” and mine only. This resulted in me being broke all of the time. When I finally realized I was being cursed by my own decision making I made a complete turn around. I began chipping in more while out with friends and paying for them when they didn’t have enough. An abundance of career opportunities began to come at my from all angles and I was able to have more money than ever before.

When you learn to let go and come to the understanding that there is an abundance of everything you could dream of, life will become a bit bigger and you will have access to all the things that have been slightly out of your reach.

Generous people always have lots to be generous with and this didn’t come from them being cheap until they had something to give. They all started out by being willing to give when they had very little. There is an ancient story in the Bible in which a man with $100,000 gave a $1,000 to his church and a poor widow with only 1 penny, gave her only penny. It then states in Luke Chapter 21 verse 3-4 “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

Now I’m not getting religious on you, this is Way Of The Player, but the proof is all over the pudding. The Ability is the ability to “Let go” and dive into uncertainty with faith that you will be rewarded.

Let go of something that you have been holding onto today and marvel at the life changes you will experience.

Eddie Fews

Women Love A Strong Spirit

Understanding what women really want.

I once heard a quote that went ” The condition of the spirit is a reflection of the mind and the condition of the mind is a reflection of the body”. Now although I decided to keep my body and mind healthy to maintain a healthy spirit I never had a real example of how a healthy spirit would benefit me until recently.

I had been going through a lot of things that I choose not to talk to anyone about; this resulted in a few ruined friendships and a huge falling out with my family. I felt as if I hit rock bottom and there was only one way to go from there. I began being more conscious of how I was using my time, the choices I was making unconsciously and what I was putting into my body. I started exercising daily, eating more whole foods, and centering my life around my purpose.

As a result of this I began to grow strong internally; I developed a new found confidence in myself and I felt untouchable. I also noticed that the people around me believed in me and my abilities more than ever. When I would go play a team sport the entire team looked at me to be the leader and make decisions; it was as if the people around me could feel like I was on the right path. I also took more risk and felt immune to negative emotions.

My good friend has a dog that’s really aggressive, he bites everyone. Because of its aggressive nature I’m usually really tense around the dog. However once I began to correct my bad habits which built my spirit I felt absolutely no fear around the dog. The dog then actually had a new found respect for me, I was able to play with it and give it orders with ease, all because I made my growth and development a priority.

And of course women were throwing themselves at me like never before.

Make your health mentally and physically the number one priority in your life.

Eat better, by better I mean eat more whole foods(preferably organic whole foods); foods that only contain one ingredient( Brown Rice, Steak, Spinach, Eggs etc). Have you ever checked the label of some of the stuff we’re eating? I bet you can barely pronounce it, let alone know what it is. The more ingredients on the label the less healthy the food is on the body(mind, and spirit).

Refrain from masturbation, shortly after masturbation many men feel sluggish and lazy about life. Most can evil feel something missing on the inside; which is semen, the most vital fluid in the male body. Lack of semen in the body is also a contributed to depression, which seems to be the number one mental issue people are dealing with today. Its funny how congruent this is with the increase of internet porn. Think of it like a car; when you have a full tank, you’ll go anywhere and drive any distance, and when left with a quarter tank you try and conserve gas and only make trips when necessary. Masturbation makes you appear less attractive to women, it removes the natural glow we each have about us. Refrain from masturbating for 3 weeks and see if you don’t notice a significant difference in the way your skin looks and the way women respond to you.

Think positive, A primary contributor to stress and depression is negative self talk; therefore if you begin practising positive self talk and positive thinking you are on the path of redemption.

Along with positive thinking comes a positive attitude, which means seeing everything that comes into your life as something that will benefit you and help you succeed. Fired from your job? Great! Now you can pursuer brighter and more self fulfilling careers that will add to your happiness. Rejected after an approach? Awesome, now you get on with finding the girl for you. Imagine if she talked you to death, a took your number just to flake on the date, she just saved you a lot of time.

When you are on the road to pursuing things you are passionate about and serving your life purpose very little will be able to get you down. You begin to plow through the world easier, men will admire you, and women will find you ten times more attractive than ever before. So what are you waiting for? Get started on improving the quality of your life now!

By Eddie Fews
Dating & Seduction Coach