Take Control Over Your Emotion

After dealing with student after student who’s fallen in love and lost all connection with logic, it has come to my understanding that I need give my opinion on love and why its important to view it objectively. This so-called seduction community is full of men who want to get women, but what happens when they actually get with the women? They get over emotional, they ask for advice, and the men in the community tell them to just move onto another girl. So thats the advice? Get the girls and then just move on when you can no longer handle it? I’d like to meet the guru who first established this tactic.

Imagine you knew little to nothing about cars, but you bought a car anyway. The gas tank was on full when you bought it, so you go off driving. You’re having the time of your life and then all of a sudden the car slows down and eventually comes to a stop. At this point you have no idea whats going on – this was a perfectly good vehicle just moments ago. So you call the guy who sold you the car and you say “ Hey man, the car just stopped.. Its not working like it once was. What do I do? “ and he says “ Oh. This is when you just get a new car” . You reply “ I invested money into this car!” and all he can say is “ It didn’t work out with this one. You just have to get a new one “.

Thats is what is being taught in the seduction community. When things don’t work out with a girl; just move on and get a new one. No one is teaching us about gas and gas stations.  And like the car analogy, no matter what car you get; they’ll all eventually run out of gas. With the understanding of what gas is and how to refill the car with gas, you’ll be able to drive any quality car for as long as you please.

Welcome to exxon mobile.

So the question is “ What Is Love? “

The answers can always get deeper, but I think on a surface level we can all agree that love is an emotion. Right?

Love is an emotion just as fear is an emotion; like anger is an emotion etc.

So lets put love aside for a moment and discuss another emotion; one we can all relate to… Lets talk about fear.

I would go deep into what fear is, but I don’t feel a need to reinvent the wheel. This guy below pretty much nails it. Watch this and we’ll continue

 

F.E.A.R – False Evidence Appearing Real

“ Your fear is always about whats going to happen next. That means your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non existent, your fear is one hundred percent imaginary. If you’re suffering from the non existential, we call that insanity. “

Socially acceptable levels of insanity…

How many of us are constantly afraid of our own imagination?

How many of us are suffering from our own emotions?

So wouldn’t that mean that having a fear about approaching a woman is a mild form of insanity. What is it exactly that we’re afraid of? In what way does that fear serve us?

We have to begin to observe our fears and eliminate the ones that serve no purpose what so ever. Purposeless fear is true insanity. For example: a man that is afraid to stand on the edge of a rooftop certainly hasn’t lost his mind. He fears potentially slipping and ruining his life. So the fear of heights on a mild level is useful to protect whoever has that fear from danger – understandable; the fear serves a purpose. Now what if that fear got out of control. What if the fear of heights grew so big that one couldn’t even be on the inside of a tall building? We would then view that man as insane. So this brings me to the big question concerning fear(which is an emotion just as LOVE is an Emotion). Is this mans fear of being inside a tall building valid? Just because his emotion is telling him that it is dangerous to be inside the building, does that mean that it is in fact dangerous? Surely it doesn’t, it is just something his own subconscious created within him for one reason or another. You following?

Now what about the people lost in love? Sure love is great; falling in love feels great, I’m not talking about the people who are healthily in love. The emotion serves a purpose in healthy situations. It allows there to be a amorous bond between two people which allows them to come together and potentially build a family to further the human population. It affords them happiness, passion, meaning to life, and so many other things. But here I’m talking about the men and women who are in destructive relationships and assume that just because they FEEL an emotion; it means that they must follow that feeling. Its insanity, just like the example of the man above who is afraid to enter a tall building.

I believe all feelings have to be monitored. We have to begin to understand them for what they are. They are just FEELINGS, and only have purpose when we attribute it to them. A mans stage freight doesn’t mean that he doesn’t belong on stage, an angered man feeling like physically attacking the person in front of him does not mean he should, and just because you feel emotionally drawn to a woman or man that does not mean that you have to be with them.

Emotions help us interpret life; emotions are not interpretations of life.

I was once the guy that let his emotions get the best of him with women far too often. It was a routine for me; I was constantly falling in love and thinking that just because I felt the need to call a girl ten times back to back when she didn’t answer that I had to. I lacked self control; and because I let my emotions get the best of me. The women in my life lost respect for me and my emotional immaturity began to push them away. It wasn’t until enough trail and error that something finally clicked in my brain. I realized that the emotions that were occurring in my body were just FEELINGS, nothing more – JUST FEELINGS. I began to understand the importance of being objective about the meaning I would attribute to these emotions. I was then able to figure out which ones were healthy to act on, and which ones would be a burden to others to act on. This allowed me some level of mastery over myself and the women in my life all once began to develop a richer level of respect for me as a man. They viewed me as someone they could turn to when there emotions were on the rise. I was no longer a burden to them, I was one who could show them how to prevent themselves from being a burden to others.

If you take anything from this, understand that emotions are simply feelings to help us get through life. They are not the meaning of life. Lets begin to evaluate our emotions and figure out which ones have purpose and which ones do not. Not all feelings of love have purpose, just as not all feelings of fear, jealousy, and anger have purpose. Act on the feelings that  have been adding value to your life and find creative ways to channel the ones that do not. And just remember that your FEELING of emotions at times can mean absolutely nothing. Consciously control the subconscious; because it will try its best to subconsciously control you.

Peace & Love   


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

She Will Follow So Long As You Lead

I woke up to an epiphany this morning that will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. I intend to share it here in hopes that it can have at least some of that effect on anyone that reads this.

So I’ll just get into it..

I have been dating this woman for the past month and a half and she’s been great. Now of course no one is perfect, she just encompasses all the positives I could say I wanted before I met her. I remember saying to myself after the first few weeks of knowing her that “ I don’t know if there is somebody out there for everybody, but there was somebody out there for me. “ She’s that.  So anyway, like many of us do while going into a relationship that seems promising from the start my naivety led me to the assumption that things we going to be easy. I assumed that because we were so well matched that any conflicts that we could have would be minor and insignificant. And boy was I wrong. I’ve always known that women test us as men. The test aren’t intended to be malicious; their test are carried out simply because they want us to become better than we are. A woman needs to be able to feel her mans strength; she needs to know that her man can handle her in her wildest moments so that she can be secure in being with him. A woman wants to feel safe with her man, she wants to know that she’ll never be left out to dry, and the more you ensure her that she won’t be, the more she must test you to see whether or not she can trust your word.

So I always tell guys to encourage there woman to be strong; compliment her and help her become a greater version of herself that she can be so that the test she throws your way are more intense.  Their test can only make us stronger and as long as a man is rooted in his masculinity he never need worry about passing a test thrown at him by his woman. As a young guy I would worry about boosting my woman confidence  because I would be in fear of her getting out control. I liked her how she was – easy to handle, and so I tried my best to keep her that way, because she was at a level that I felt comfortable handling the things she threw at me. And so I would begin to resent the women I was with; they weren’t pushing me to grow and so I lost attraction for them. I wouldn’t stay with them all while being too immature to understand what was happening and so I would repeat this cycle over and over again. Eventually I understood what was going on and began to do the opposite. I began to compliment my woman more, telling her what she meant to me, and how important I believe what we have is. And what I found is a woman doesn’t take this new found self esteem to use it to lift her head above the world. She takes that energy and uses it to give it right back to me. I discovered that women were saving accounts with interest rates beyond my wildest explanations. They give us back everything we give them with a lot more behind it. I’m almost certain that old expression “ Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn” had its inception in a case in which a man wronged his woman deeply and so she gave it back to him with the interest I spoke of. And so if a man understands this, he understands that he can never out give his woman whether for the good or for the bad. Show her strength and she will be weak around you so that you can feel stronger; show her weakness and she will be strong around you in attempt to make you strong. Become weaker in this face of her strength and she will become even stronger and eventually devour the man that doesn’t rise up and claim what is his masculine right. Black women tend to get the reputation for being “Strong” and hard to deal with, and I believe that is due to the men not being able to rise in the face of their strength so the woman can feel comfortable being weak around him. A woman is a mans polar opposite and if he won’t rise to the plate and display his strength she will have to reflect it in hopes that he will recognize her for this and pick up the slack. A strong woman will always make a strong man.  And it is through her releasing of that strength by being weak around the man that she can trust to be responsible with her, that he will rise up in both his strength and power. And in this they become one flesh.

So I had to relearn what I stated above over this past week. The time had called for me to deal with the imbalance being reflected to me by my partner. She was calling for more strength and I wasn’t centered in my masculinity enough to give it to her; so as she once would shrink in the face of my strength so that i become stronger; she grew stronger in the face of my weakness. She had began to take notice of my controlling nature and she was calling for me to be better than this. I couldn’t see it at the time; all I could wonder is why on earth my woman was all off a sudden such a challenge to deal with. She wanted more, because I was asking her for more.  She wanted me to be greater than the selfishness within me that lead me to wanting things exactly how I wanted them and when I wanted them.

At first I was struggling with the imbalance because I was consciously trying to assert myself over her in order to get respect. And it is through that situation that I understood that instead of asserting myself, all I need do is relax back into the masculinity that I have been given that I  will prevail and my woman will trust me once again. It is nature and it is natural to a woman rooted in her femininity to want her man to be strong so that she can feel comfortable with surrendering herself to him. Women want to surrender, they just mean a man strong enough to handle them when they decide to give themselves.

After the night of conflict I had woke up to the answer; it was streaming through my mind clearly. It said “ You don’t have to give your woman instruction. Let her be who she is and have patience. If you’re practicing what you preach she’ll follow “. And so that was it. I had spent so much energy in relationships trying to assert my authority over my woman and giving them instruction that I didn’t understand that the women in my life weren’t listening to what I said as much as they were listening to what I do. Through the showing of a mans strength his woman naturally begins to pick up on his behaviors (both bad and good). So if a man can remain patient and remain strong in the face of his woman doing things that are unpleasing, she will eventually alter her behavior to reflect a behavior that will cause her man to feel more love for her. And the stronger a man in his what he is asking his woman to do the quicker she will begin to do as he would like. I had been telling women in my life to do things that I wasn’t full committed to doing myself and I had to understand that  as the leader in the relationship I can not expect something out of someone before I was fully giving that myself.

So this is my calling to all men to lead more so by action and less so by word. As Ive stated many times “ Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny. Lead your women first by your destiny, then your character, following your habits, your actions, and then your words/thoughts.

Now it is okay for a man to give instruction to his woman; in fact most women like and appreciate this, just be sure to do so from a place of understanding. From a place in which you are sure that the things you have asked have made it all the way to your destiny before you put it upon others. Because the more you ask of her, the more that she will ask of you so that she can be compliant. Rise into your strength and relax into the man that you were called to be and all imbalances experienced with your woman will quickly dissolve.

Peace & Love to all the readers.

Eddie Fews

Anyone seeking dating and relationship advice or private consultation just click here and I’ll be with you within 24 hours.


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

Let ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom‘ change your life. Just click the link below –>   Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom

My new Ebook ” The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom” is now available. Each has law been designed in such a way that when followed a man will add to his overall level of social intelligence,magnetism, and presence. Below is a sample of five of the fifty laws you will receive once you purchase the book. click here to go to LuLu and download your own personal copy and if you are currently not in position finically to purchase the book email me at EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com I will send you a copy of the book free of charge. 

Law 7

The World Is Always Watching

All things done in the dark eventually have to come to the light and a leader follows the mantra that, “character is what you do while no one is watching you”. And by “no one” the law means “no one”. While following the law it is important to understand that every single action taken by a man every single day has an effect on his aura, body language and presence. Therefore one is never able to hide anything; and the follower of the law must live his life with the understanding that this is true. Law number seven requires that the follower of the law lives their life as if there was a camera crew following them every step of the way and all of the footage was being sent to all the women and men one eventually wanted to have some level of opportunity with. Whether that be a business opportunity or a romantic type of opportunity. If a man sits in his house all day long doing nothing, when he knows that he has responsibilities to be taking care of, the people in his life will know it. It is likely that they will not know directly, but they will know on an energetic level. Women will feel less attracted to him that day, men will be less friendly with him that day, and if it perpetuates, so will the effects that follow. If a man wouldn’t sit on his sofa watching tell-lie-vision and eating potato chips all day long if the girl of his dreams was watching him he is not permitted to do it without her around. Because the fact of the matter is, when a man finally does run into that girl everything he has ever done will be attached to his body language, presence, and aura. We cannot hide anything; this world was not designed this way. We must own up to our words, actions and habits one way or another. Men will notice that they will attract a lot more women when they begin to live their life as if the women were already there. Follow the law and live a life filled with more integrity, because all will know on some level all of the things that every man has done.

“Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”

—Oprah Winfrey

Law 16 

The Pedestal Is For All Or None

A man’s status is never determined by how much money he has made or by the level of fame he has achieved. A man’s status is determined by the character he exhibits. There are bad people who are rich and famous, just as there are good people who are rich and famous. Any man that has ever spent personal time in a room with someone who is admired or of high levels of wealth becomes aware that this man or woman is just as flawed as themselves. Usually all the greatness they are said to have is reserved and just channeled in the moments that count. They are the same people,  with a different direction of focus. This comparison can also be applied to beautiful women. If one had the opportunity to follow a highly attractive women for a week and see all she thought, and did they will find that she isn’t nearly as beautiful as their minds made her out to be.  She’s flawed, and many times more flawed than oneself because the world has allowed her to live a lie most of her life. In many cases no one has rejected her, she’s constantly offered things for free, and no one has criticized her. So is it any surprise that the majority of beautiful women are lacking in personality? What did they need a personality for? They were already fully accepted into society for being beautiful; for being something that they didn’t even choose to be. Law number 16 requires that the follower of the law comes to an understanding that no one is above oneself; no one gets put on a pedestal, unless everyone is put on a pedestal. There is a very thin line between what separates the people we admire from ourselves. And often times we find that the things we wanted weren’t what we thought when we got them. The new car or house only made one feel differently momentarily;  the true peace is found within. And the rich and famous have usually figured that out because they have acquired the tangibles that people dream about and its done nothing for them internally. Follow the law and understand that the only people that can have power over us are the people we give it to.

“He thinks too highly of me, places me on a pedestal i’ve never deserved.” 

— Tahereh Mafi 

Law 19

Always Tell The Truth

Few men have the confidence to look a woman square in the eyes when he is tested by her and tell her the truth. And it is usually the women of the highest quality that are going to put forth the most challenging test because they are mastered at questioning a man on the things he may be insecure about. A woman isn’t concerned with what a man has or what a man does as much is she concerned with how he feels about what he has and what he does. She’s looking to the man to see how she should feel about him based SOLEY upon how he feels about himself. Now a low quality superficial woman may be looking toward a man for what he has acquired, but a high quality woman is only looking into the man. A quality woman doesn’t reject an impoverished man because he is in poverty; she is rejecting him because of how he feels about his poverty. A poor man with a dream that he is actively working toward has no problem getting a woman. There are men like this everywhere. This is why a man must always tell the truth and be confident about his truth. A truthful man is truthful because he has accepted himself for who he is and is confident that if is he is in an unfortunate situation he is capable enough to get himself out of the situation. He also believes that the people around him will be able to pick up that he can get himself out of anything he is in. So he is honest. And because he is confidently honest, people believe in him and his ability. Law number 19 requires that every man is honest with everyone that he comes across. A lie only makes one feel momentarily content with an unsatisfactory situation. It’s almost like taking a drug to escape from the current reality. Eventually one will have to confront reality, and the more it has been pushed to the side the more difficult it will be to live with when it is forced to the surface. Follow the law and always tell the truth. An honest man radiates with a light that draws people toward him.

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” 

— Groucho Marx

 

Law 27

Rebalance Your Sensitivity 

To utilize the teachings of this book to their full potential; you must begin to fight against some of the numbing that is occurring to our generation. The greatest seducers are sensitive. They can feel what’s going on in their bodies, the person they’re withs body and what’s happening in the world around them. Increasing sensitivity is a challenging way to live, but once it’s mastered it allows the bearer of sensitivity to excel far beyond all who are desensitized. If you have ever increased your computer mouse sensitivity, you’ll notice that it is a lot more difficult to maneuver at first but when mastered it allows you to control your computer at speeds you couldn’t before. Below are a collective group of steps that can be taken to increase ones level of sensitivity.

The Numbing Of The Senses

Anyone that lives in a big city understand that they are constantly bombarded with loud noises from every angle. Whether it be from the music coming from the cars driving by or the screeching sounds coming from the steel train cars stopping along the tracks. Most will notice that the first few times they are confronted with these noises they’ll have to cover their ears because of the pain felt. After a while the loud noises no longer hurt the ears; one becomes used to them – one has become numb to them. This same process takes place with the blasting of music into the ears. The music goes from being too loud, to not being loud enough. We are living in a world that is constantly numbing us and that takes place with bright LED lights to the eyes – going from too bright to bearable. Foul smells coming from a polluted environment which go from being stinky to the point where one can no longer smell them. Chemical preservatives and salts on the food that go from being too salty to enjoyable. etc. etc.

The number of the senses causes one to be incapable of picking up on the subtle cues that would make a man an effective with social wisdom. If a man hearing has been so numbed that he isn’t able to pick up on the small little sounds  and tones generated from a women at different moments he won’t be aware of all he needs to know to effectively lead her.  Numbed eyes will prevent one from efficiently making eye contact, numbed touch prevents one from being able to feel oneself feeling another which is imperative for a seductive touch(Law 4), and so on.

Law number six requires that the follower of the law practices rebalancing their sensitivity. Stop taking in preservatives and harmful food additives that numb the senses. While listening to music keep the music volume lower than 75% and cover the ears when fronted with loud sounds. When met with a foul smell, focus on the smell and see it for what it is. No one should let oneself get so comfortable with a foul smell that they forget it’s there… and so on. Rebalance your sensitivity in every way possible so that you begin to embody the ability to deal with and pick up on needs for social wisdom faster than before.

“The most important innovators often don’t need any technologies – just imagination and acute sensitivity to people’s needs. “

Geoff Mulgan

 

Law 39

Never Be Ashamed

Women are likely to be more upset about your reaction to a performance problem than the problem itself. Women are always looking to us to validate how they should feel about a situation. So if a mans feelings are neutral showing that he is unaffected by his woman’s feelings she will then question whether the emotion she feels is valid in the first place. Lets say a woman does not feel content with her relationship and because of this she goes to her man attempting to break up with him. If the man reacts emotionally in an “ how could you do this? “ type of manner she will feel as if  she must have some validity behind her feelings because it was the source of her partners momentary passion. Now, if the man says “ No honey. Lets just talk later on when our feelings settle. I think we have something great here” from a neutral point of few, she will begin to wonder if she was making the right decision at all. Her decision didn’t bring about any emotion in her partner; and because he was unaffected she must wonder whether or not the things she said were even effective. And so it is the law to never show shame, because a woman will only respond negatively to mans short coming in any given situation if he first expresses a negative reaction to his own short coming. Men who learn this will find that women that attempt to reject them after an approach suddenly begin to be more receptive to the male if they see that he wasn’t swayed positively or negatively by her reaction. She must question whether or not she had any reason to reject the guy because it meant absolutely nothing to him. So does it mean anything at all? The first rejections are almost always a test of a mans character and strength – the two primary things a woman looks for in a man. Even if a man has a overly positive reaction she will question whether she made the right choice. She will begin to feel as if she did him a favor. And if she did him a favor, by natural law he owes her one. This will instantly put him in a subservient position. So Follow the law and embrace all aspects of who you are; the world must first need to see you ashamed before they can become ashamed of you.

“With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.”

— Zig Ziglar


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

Her Deepest Love Comes In The Form Of Challenge

As it appears on the surface men tend to be driven by their egos. We want the nice cars, beautiful women, money, and the power because it does something for our ego. There is nothing about a material tangible that has any true value other than the sense of external worth it attributes to the owner. And because men are ego driven, we often find ourselves falling in love with women who have mastered the ability to feed the male ego. As men we begin to develop that “pat me on the head” motherly type of love for the women and I often find it is the men who had troubling relationships with their mothers(as I myself had) that seek this type of attention from women the most. Secretly they are still looking for mommy, and so they will find themselves attached to ego filling women. However, it is important that we know that it is not through validating the ego that a woman shows a man she loves him. When a woman decides to show a man love, attention, and affection she is in fact doing him a favor. It is not a sign that she cares about him; she is simply admiring him. And this is often where men make their biggest mistakes when dealing with the opposite sex. Men often assume that because a woman tells them how great they are that it is a sign that the women is in love with them, and so they make attempts at developing a relationship with a woman based off of that attribute alone.

When in fact a woman will lose respect for any man who just takes her words to heart and changes how he feels about her just based off her words. As men, we have to understand that when a woman tells you something like “I love you” she is telling that to the guy that you were just before she said it. It is the guy you were being to her before she said it that produced the chemical reaction in her that caused her to express her feelings. Therefore if you allow her saying “I love you” in the moment to affect how you feel about her in ANY WAY, you are no longer the guy she loves. You have become a new guy; that has changed because of the words that were said to him. You are being swayed by the motions of your woman emotions and a woman can never trust such a man. Men are to be an anchored ship during the waves of their woman emotions and not an empty plastic bottle floating on the top of the water. And so, when a woman tells you how she feels about you make a mental note to remain unmoved. Remain the guy she said it to; prevent yourself from being the new guy that has been shaped by his woman words. Because once you do that, in her spirit she no longer loves you. She loves the guy you were; and often times as we all do she will remain in hopes that you become the guy she loves once again.

And so how does a woman show her love?

Through challenge.

When a woman loves a man, she will test him and by testing him she will be creating an opportunity for him to grow from the inside out. The majority of praise will only allow a man to grow superficially. Just look at some of the contestants on shows such as American Idol in which these horrible singers go to auditions with supporting family members telling them that they can sing; only to be let down and broken-hearted when they get before the judges. Is the supporting family showing true love by not being honest and letting the singer know that they need to work on their craft before auditioning? No. They are showing superficial love; surface level support and what they don’t realize is that if they don’t tell them person they are supporting the truth the world will, and it will sting ten times as hard when the world does it. Especially after having been built up into something that they were not. A good woman knows this subconsciously, and she understand that although there is a time for praise, adoration, and affection there is also a time for challenge. And it is through her challenging you that she shows you that she loves you. Along with it being a way for her to show you she loves you it is also a way for you to show her you love her. It is a way for her to see if you will crack under the pressure of her being difficult by responding to her in an ill manner — potentially taking back some of the loving words and/or promises you made to her in the past. And if she can commit and action or stir up a reaction in you that makes you break your word; she then has to question whether you actually mean the things you say or not. So if you’ve ever told her you loved her and then you respond to her being problematic in a way that shows that you don’t; the prior expressing of your love to her has now been voided.

(Let me also say that this is not me making an excuse for women. If a woman is excessive in how she is reacting and dealing with you as a man you are free to leave her. Responding in an ill way to her is never necessary. If you must leave her leave her, but as a man you must also do so with love. Anything else will only produce anger and resentment and this isn’t necessary to the progressing of your own life. Too manypeople don’t realize that when they are angry with someone else they are doing more harm to themselves than they are the person they are upset with. As I’ve said in previous post; negative emotions literary taxes the health of our own organs and puts a gap between us and our spirituality. I’m merely suggesting that a man uses hiswoman’s difficult moments as a platform to better himself which in turn will better her.)

So, how does a man properly respond to his woman test and challenges? How does he show her that he has grown from her test and challenges so that she can feel comfortable praising him once again?

With strength, humor, and love.

Women want to be penetrated with love from their man at all times. Whether that be physically, verbally, mentally, and/or spiritually. Unlike men, it is women who grow from praise more so than through challenge. Women aren’t ego driven in the same way that men are. Praise builds them up deeply; because they don’t have the self crippling ego that we as men do. They are without that barrier and so our praise will penetrate directly to the source. Which will almost explain why the “ Power In A Proper Compliment” article I wrote before this works so effectively.

Let’s say a your woman hasn’t been feeling your love and/or she feels like its time for you to grow in an area. Let’s say she has begun to feel like you put too much value into material things and how they make you feel about yourself…

So one day you’re getting dressed and looking in the mirror and your woman walks over and says “ Eww. I don’t like your shirt “

A man must now consider a few things..

A) Ultimately a woman wants to know that you trust your highest judgment over anyone else’s(even hers); so a response  such as “ Fine I’ll change it” will speak to the weakness in your character which is probably the reason she’s testing you in the first place. Do you not trust your own ability to pick out a nice shirt? Must Mommy do it for you? Her opinion is always welcomed but did you even consider your own before reacting?

B) You get upset or deflated and say something like “ You said you liked this shirt the last time! Shut up! You can’t make up your mind”. What happens here is you’ve criticized her and displayed that she can generate anger in you however and whenever she pleases. She is in fact in control, she is leading you; how can a woman trust such a man?

C) You understand that she’s testing you. She wants to feel your love in this moment. She wants to know whether or not you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. And so you smile out of excitement that she wants to feel your love and you respond “ Thanks baby. I like this shirt, but I love how honest you are.” And then you kiss her cheek.

Option C is of course the route that the man operating from his highest intelligence will go for.

A man needs to train himself to become excited and enthralled during the times in which his woman is being difficult. Because it is during these times that she is asking him to feel his love. That she is asking him to operate from his highest self and to show her what she means to him. If her challenging moods aren’t generating strength within you, a man must ask himself if he is of high enough quality to deal with the woman in front of him. But all in all a man must remain aware that his woman usually isn’t being malicious when she is being difficult; she is only asking her man to grow. And although a man will entertain and enjoy a woman who feeds his ego all of the time, he will only stay with a woman who challenges him; because he knows in his subconscious that her challenge is an expression of true love.

Women thrive off of praise and men thrive off of challenge. A woman will enjoy doing almost anything that she is praised and loved into doing. Tell a woman how amazing she is at kissing and how much it’s obvious she enjoys kissing because of how great she is at it, and she will kiss you anytime you like. Men grow through challenge; as kids we grow when our friends say something like “ Hey man, I bet you can’t jump over that fence” — that instills us with the power and energy to make it over the fence. A woman would better make it over the fence if someone said “ You have such strong beautiful legs. I know you can make it over the fence because you’re such a great jumper “ that will instill her with the incentive she needs to make it over the fence. I find that when I respond to a woman’s test with praise; she can’t help but instantly respond with love. Even in the moments when a woman catches me off guard; and I send praise her way in a lackluster “ that shit almost got to me” kind of voice. She still appreciates me responding with praise. Instead of me snapping back at her, I respond with love and she feels my strength.  So we praise our women and they reward us by challenging us. Ain’t that some shit? That is  just how it works. Surely a woman will love us as well with affection, but that is not how they truly show their love. They show their love through challenge.

Will all of that being said, there needs to be some balance; all challenge and no praise will wear a man down. A woman still must  feed a man’s ego, she just needs to be knowledgeable enough to know how much challenge he can take so she is building him and not tearing him down. It is wise for a woman to know her man’s capacity to be challenged and start with him where he is and build him up to the level at which he can tolerate more and more challenge so the two of them can grow together.  It’s just like working out, start with the weights you can lift until you’re stronger enough to lift more and more weight. And this is no way a reason for a man to tolerate any disrespect. A challenge is never thrown in the form of disrespect, so keep that in mind. Know your borders and know your boundaries and guard them sternly, because your self-worth and value depend on it.

So as I wrap this up, as men we have to learn to celebrate within ourselves in the times in which our women are being a challenge. This is the only way we will be prepared mentally enough to deal with the test and challenges they throw our way; which evidently will result in the both of you growing anyway. And if your purpose on this planet is to learn and grow as much as you can this should be something you welcome with open arms.

Praise your women to show her you love her and she will return that love to you in the form of challenge, because if she truly loves you, she only wants to make you better.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews

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The 7 Things All Men Need To Stop Doing

Lying To Women

The isn’t a chronological list that’s in order of ” most important to least important” but this first one is more important than any of the others. The bad reputation that is associated with “players” is directly linked back to the lies players have been known to tell in order to get what they want. No one hates the guy that is sexual active and completely honest about it, but we all hate the guy who lies and tries to hide his reputation. This generation more than any other has become aware of how much owning your truth can affect your life. Take a look at someone like charlamange the god(the most popular urban radio personality), he says controversial things all the time and has a bit of a bad reputation. So what allows him to continue to be successful despite his reputation? What allows people that are more world reknown to love and respect him? The fact that he is always honest when he is confronted with the truth. He’s publicly spoke about his penis size and him taking magnum rx pills to try an enlarge it to no avail; along with many other things. And he remains to be accepted because he isn’t ashamed of his decisions.

The past is the past and there is nothing that can be done to change that. Lying about it only lowers your own self worth and confidence. Every time you lie you take a step down in consciousness, and every time you tell the truth you take a step up. People may not always directly know when you’re lying, but they can feel it. There is always a noticeable shift in the vibe when someone gives into weakness and decides to be dishonest.

I find that quality women make a point to bait us into lying when we first approach them; they ask us a question because they want to see if we’re “real” or not. In that moment, they’ll look us into the eye and wait for our response; checking to see if we pass the “real/fake” challenge. Now if we lie, they’ll lose all attraction for us and we’ll find ourselves in a position where we “can’t think of anything to say”. At that point we have to move on to the next girl; or confess our lie and see what happens.

If you deal with quality women you know exactly what i’m talking about, but even if you don’t, this is a good practice that’ll prepare you for the moments when you are.

Telling People Who They Slept With

This is another big one; who you sleep with is your business and your business alone. What you and your girlfriend do behind closed doors is not something to brag to your boys about. Girls gossip, leave that to them; as players we have to have a bit more integrity. Getting laid is no longer some badge of honor; that’s high school stuff. If you feel the need to talk about it, chances are it doesn’t happen to you often.

And I don’t know about you guys, but when a guy tells me all the wild things he’s been doing with his girl it’s a bit of a challenge to view her the same. Naturally you’ll sexualize them in your mind; and I don’t want that for me or any of my friends. Also, when you’re a guy that keep his business on the low; a lot more women will gravitate to you. They’ll feel like they can trust you and they’ll get a bit wilder in the bed with you than they would with the average Joe. It’s all in the vibe you give off and your character(the things you do when no one is watching) effects your vibe. So give off that ” what we do is our business and no one else’s ” vibe and watch how much more attention you’ll get from women.

i.e. Think about Vegas.. the famous quote ” what happens in Vegas stays in vegas” inspires many women every night to get a little loose.

Bros Before Hoes

I love women just as much as the next guy but a lot of these interactions are temporary. What we have with are boys has usually been in place for sometime and has a higher probability of being in place than things in place with women. Think about it.. how many of your boys from the past are you still cool with? How many of the women from your past can you still rely on? That speaks for itself.

Nothing fustrates a guy more when his buddy chooses a woman over his friends. Because if she’s a real girl, someone you can have a sustainable relationship with, you won’t have to choose.

Don’t leave your boy alone to go get laid, don’t sneak around with women he likes behind his back even if he can’t get with them – unless he gives you the green light. There are billions of other women to choose from so your bros must always always come first. This is the rule; friendships hold a lot more value then pussy does.

Keeping Score

I notice that a lot of guys keep a count of the number of women they sleep with as if that is suppose to mean something. I know a number of guys that have slept with a lot of women but I don’t consider them players. Mainly because they had to lie and manipulate to get what they want. If you have to lie to get laid; the lay is empty and meaningless. That empty feeling will usually follow up behind each new partner.

Players aren’t out there sleeping with women to validate themselves. Players just genuinely love women and/or love having sex with them. The amount doesn’t matter; we’re validated by how thoroughly we serve our purpose, and not by the sexual acts we engage in with others. Don’t count the number and certainly don’t brag about what the number already is. Do things because you enjoy them and not because they make you feel better about yourself.

The Blame Game

I find it odd that men consider themselves leaders when they point fingers at women for the downfall of their relationships. It’s a kings job to successfully lead his kingdom dispite it’s condition. Could you imagine if Barack Obama started pointing fingers at the American citizens for the downfall of the American encomonmy? What kind of leader would he be? Sure some people inherit difficult situations like our current president has; but he still has to do his best to change things or risk being nailed to the cross.

No where in history has the collective group of citizens in nation been blamed for the destruction of their civilization. We hear about Cesar, Napoleon, Alexander the great, Hitler, Stalin etc. They are the ones that take the wrap; not the people that follow. So as a leader in your relationship/group of friends, you are never to blame them for the reason things went left. Accept full responsibility, unless you’re not a leader of course; and if you aren’t a leader, you aren’t a player so this article isn’t for you.

Keeping Quiet

I was in my local market the other day and at the counter was a boy around the age 10. He was speaking to the store clerk about which over the counter pain reliever he should take for his headache. In his hand was a soda and he waited as the clerk reached to hand him a Tylenol. Surprised by the situation I stepped in immediately and spoke to the kid first ” 90% of headaches come from a lack of water in the body, so if you put that soda back and grab a bottle of water you should feel better. “

He went on to what I suggested and as he left I had a quick word with the clerk. ” you know better than that man, that kid is only ten years old”. He knodded to me in shame, I paid for my items and left.

I say this to say; speak up for what’s right. We all fall short; I don’t speak up as much as I should, but it’s important that we fight through our natural resistance and do what’s right. There is a powerful feeling that comes from doing something positive for someone else. You’ll feel better, you raise a level in consciousness, and you will be aiding a fellow human at the same time. Sounds like a win, win, win to me. Everyday we are presented with opportunities to take a stand. So do not hold your tongue, stand up and speak your truth even if it means you’ll be taking a temporary loss. This is what being a true leader is all about.

Tunnel Vision On Pussy

Pussy is great, love is awesome, and women are even better, but there is more to life. The majority of the men that I’ve met that are great with women don’t have much money. Seducting women is their sharpest skill and it tends to be what consumes all of their time. As a result they are left with a lot of sex, but very little cash to live off of. That’s where the women come in and help support them; so it doesn’t fully click that they may have to make money on their own. Players don’t live like this; a true player will not sacrifice a shot at an advancement in their personal life for a shot at a new piece of ass.

Sure if you want to be the best you have to dedicate a lot of you off time to improving, but don’t forget that there is more to life. We all have a purpose and a reason for living; life is about advancing and leaving things behind when we past that can help the next generation. What work are you leaving behind for others? Children to raise? That’s all it will be until you begin to think about chasing things other than women.

A player chases himself first; women will always come second to that.

There are many more of these things that we as players must stop doing, but let’s crawl before we walk. I’ll leave you with this seven for now. Until next time.

Eddie Fews


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

What Is Your Life Purpose?

What is Your Life Purpose?

With all of the current questioning of who’s lives matter and whose lives do not matter, I find it important that the readers come to an understanding of what purpose is and how to serve this purpose. The only life that cannot matter is a life that is devoid of serving a purpose, or a life that is unaware of the purpose that it is serving.

I say this because ultimately, we are all serving a purpose; the only thing to consider is whose purpose one is serving. Everyone has been given a soul, and within the soul of every man lays the reason he has come to this planet. Some men are meant to follow, some are meant to lead, some are meant to heal, and others meant to destroy. And so it must be understood that one can never find true happiness unless they are in alignment with their life purpose – whatever it may be.

So how you find your life purpose?

There are many ways, but the way that has worked for myself and many of my clientele is simple and only requires three things — A pencil, a piece of paper, and your undivided attention. All a man must do is write down what he thinks his purpose is. If it means that he must first write a thousand lines to achieve this answer, the he must and it is not until he writes something that makes him cry does he become aware of what his purpose is.

Any and everything that connects with our soul is something that strikes us up emotionally. If you ever find yourself reading a book or watching a television program and become internally emotional about what you see or here that is an instant signal from your soul that something you are watching, listening to, or experiencing at that moment has to do with the reason you have come to this planet. And so we must develop self -awareness and pay attention to ourselves so we know when our souls are communicating our purpose to us.

So a man may begin to write things down like..

My purpose is to become a lawyer and help men and women who are unjustly prosecuted

or

My purpose is to live a spiritual life without work or obligation

He must monitor himself and when he begins to get emotional about any particular statement he is to stop there and break down the statement by asking himself “why?”. The why’s will allow one to peel back the layers and come to the true core of what their purpose is.

For example:

A man writes “My purpose is to become a lawyer and help men and women who are unjustly prosecuted” – and then he feels a little hunch in his gut. He will then break it down by asking himself “why”. And it usually only takes four “why’s” to get the core of your purpose:

My purpose is to become a lawyer and help men and women who are unjustly prosecuted.

Why?

Because I believe that every man who lives righteously should have his freedom.

Why?

Because I find freedom to be of importance to every man’s growth and development. 

Why?

Because I haven’t always been free and I have experienced a well of happiness ever since I was given my freedom.

Why?

Because freedom has allowed me to be myself and reach, free, and heal other people. 

So what this man may discover is that his initial idea that his purpose was to be a “lawyer” was just a surface level concept based on the world that he was currently living in. What if that man was born into a world in which there was no law system and lawyers weren’t needed? The soul isn’t of today, the soul is eternal, so through this man’s feeling that he wanted to be a lawyer he was able to discover that his true purpose in life is to help liberate and free people in every possible way.

Do you see how it works?

That purpose can be taken and applied to many difference careers. Any career that involves the freeing of people bodies, minds, or souls will allow that individual to experience happiness in his daily life. A man that knows his purpose opens up his world is in tune with that which created him; he therefore creates internal happiness.

So what is your purpose?

I have worked with many of my clients on this question and for some it takes seconds while others may take weeks to finally write down something that resonates. However, even if it took years, the happiness that will follow the realization will be worth far more than any amount of time and energy that was put in.

As my clients attested to, this realization of their purpose meant that there no longer exist days that seem only defined by boredom and repetition. Their lives became a lot more valuable; the feeling that they were following a divine order gave them more zest when they woke up in the morning. They each realized that they are not here to live for themselves, but to live and serve a higher purpose for that which they were created for.

Now if you don’t believe in purpose or a need for one, I tip my hat to you. I myself am not sure where I would gather my motivation if it weren’t for my belief in something higher than me. I’ve been able to reach higher levels of achievement and accomplishment while under the belief that although I am self-employed on the surface, I am employed by the order of something divine that is within us all.

So if you understand where I am coming from, spend some time each day discovering what your life purpose is and when you figure it out or if you have already figured it out leave what you believe it to be in the comment section below. I’m curious to read them all. It is also possible for one to discover their own purpose through reading yours, thereby, adding to the site and helping any potential readers that come along after you.

Thank you for your eyes and full attention.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


 

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The Eleven Female Orgasms

Did you know that women have the ability to experience eleven different forms of an orgasm? Imagine being the type of sexual lover that knows more about a woman’s body than she does. How many women know about this intense and pleasurable subject? Not many.

And we have found hundreds of women asking this same exact question. The point is, you are not the only one who is clueless in bed, and greater communication and attention for your partner’s needs will only boost her endorphins.

Simply put: she will want to do more for you as well.

We have never entertained the idea of asking a man this question; most men are honored if they have the knowledge that a woman is capable of having a orgasm at all. But of course, there exists a modest group who can claim knowledge to these esoteric methods. We know because we have learned from them. The vast majority of the male species is ignorant about their feminine bed-lusts. And the sad fact is that they are okay with this.

So what is the origin of this issue? The answer is basic, and coincidentally unexpected: men harbor an intense fear of feminine sexuality in our society.

The majority of women are only aware of two orgasms that their bodies can encounter (whether or not they have ever experienced them is another thing), and, unfortunately, this even holds true in the post-Feminist community. Ladies, looks like you’ve been cheating yourselves.

I will explain to you how this came about. You have taken back many of your rights, but you have mixed liberation with hostility.

Metrosexuality has become a fashionable word. But in fact, there are not many men available to teach women about the miracle known as the female body. Tearing men away from their masculinity has been a great success – it is great for the economy. However, women are missing out on quite a lot.

A small portion of men are good sexual lovers. Ask any woman and she will confirm this. Becoming a sexpert starts from knowing how to please her, especially knowing how to give her an orgasm. This requires going a little deeper and finding out the different ways that a woman can orgasm.

Add some love and awareness to the world of relationships and sexuality. Love dissolves fear; awareness dissolves ignorance. Let’s start with the one orgasm you probably know:

1. The Clitoral Orgasm

This orgasm results from direct contact with the clitoris. Strong feelings stem from the clitoris and send pleasurable waves throughout a woman’s entire body. A woman’s clitoris is the most sensitive area on her body – with twice as many stimulatory nerve endings as the male penis. If you are a guy, picture all of the nerve endings in the penis compacted into an area as tiny as a marble. The clitoris is so important to receiving pleasure that feelings of arousal are always felt there on some degree. That is why the clitoris is so responsive to different kinds of touch.

Although, it’s not equal for all women. The clitoris’s sensitivity can be completely opposite from woman to woman. There are the women that may prefer a lighter touch. Other women get enjoyment from a more intense stimulation. And for a portion of women, the clitoris is so delicate that contacting the clit directly is often not comfortable and can sometimes be aggravating.

After an orgasm, the clit often becomes extremely sensitive, to the point where physical contact could be painful. As a good sexual partner, you must be aware of this and grant a woman some minutes of rest before going at it again.

This kind of female orgasm can be done in a few different variations: There is oral stimulation. Ladies, if your partner is not aware of how to perform oral sex on women, still let your partner do it for you. But guide him as you would guide Stevie Wonder driving an eighteen wheeler on a dark New York City street. When using your hand, be sure to use her own natural lubrication, or a water-based lubricant. With sex toys, use lubrication as well.

A clitoral orgasm can be very intense, but many women describe it as “less deep” than others. Nevertheless, it is extremely pleasurable, and good clitoral stimulation adds much to the stagnant sex life.

2. The Vaginal Orgasm

This kind of female orgasm concerns the vaginal walls, and remains focused in either the pelvic or lower stomach areas. It can also spread upward and out depending on the intensity of the experience. The uterus, pelvic muscles, and sometimes the anus will start to contract. These contractions are strong and may even push out anything stimulating the vagina.

This kind of orgasm takes a bit of time to reach, and rhythmic thrusting is often the best way to get there. A great sexual partner will communicate with their woman to figure out which position is best for her to achieve an orgasm. And a great will partner will also try not to ejaculate before she does: “Ladies always come first.”

A good deal of women describe it to be “less intense” than clitoral stimulation, however, they do feel it a bit more “deeply.” This orgasm is felt as a pressure that slowly grows and explodes from deep inside the vagina.

3. The G-Spot Orgasm

This orgasm starts in the G-Spot and can stay there while climaxing, or it will intensely rush throughout the entire female body. When a woman is sexually aroused, the tissue around her will urethra becomes filled with blood from her paraurethral glands that produce and fill with prostatic fluid. This area on the front wall of the vagina is that same mysterious and sensitive spot: the G-Spot.

The process is actually similar to a male erection. And, a result, the urethral sponge becomes “erect.” If you touch it, it feels firm. In other words, this is a female “boner.” The only thing separating the two is that, for women, it all happens on the inside of the vagina. There are a few ways to stimulate a woman’s G-Spot. Rhythmic pushing or circular friction motions are the best for reaching this type of orgasm. Try using a special Tantric sensual massage – it tends to stimulate this section of a female’s body. This orgasm will often lead to female ejaculation.

This kind of female orgasm takes a good amount time to build up to, and many women say that it is a special, deep, intense carnal pleasure, that builds up until their whole lower abdomen and pelvic area explodes. And they are often carried away for a decent amount of time by the strong rush of euphoric energy – often fully unconscious of where they are and what is happening around them.

4. Squirting Orgasm (Female Ejaculation)

In short, this powerful orgasm is achieved by using ancient Tantric techniques. It exercises unwanted emotions and fills a woman with light, delightful energy and a feeling of happiness and peace. Squirting makes other kinds of female orgasms look meek in comparison.

This type of orgasm causes a deep bond to form between a woman and her partner. This has to be the most sensual thing a woman can experience with you.

5. The A–Spot Orgasm (The Anterior Fornix Orgasm)

This kind orgasm is reached by stimulating an area far deep in the vagina (about 7-10 cm, or 3-4”) on the front wall – the same exact wall where the G-spot is located. In other words, this is a section of delicate tissue at the inner front end of the vaginal tube, in between the cervix and the bladder.

This orgasm is most easily achieved using your hand. Use the same technique you use to stimulate the G-Spot, but in this case, go as deep as your fingers can reach. You simply just try to “scoop it out” with your fingers – a “come hither” motion. In the basic missionary position, a man should be short-thrusting while deep inside a woman during sexual intercourse.

Many women find the feeling incredibly pleasurable while others do not like it at all, so be sure to keep this in mind.

After orgasming, the A-Spot does not become sensitive like the clitoris, and you can easily continue stimulation, bringing women to new levels of pleasure. Again, communication is the key here, so make sure to ask her if she is enjoying what you are doing.

This orgasm is described by women as a type of soft burst of electricity bringing them to a sharp, erotic climax. Some women find this orgasm similar to the G-spot, while some find it closer to an extremely strong vaginal orgasm. Either way, your partner will be excited about the fact that you even know about this.

6. The Deep Spot Orgasm (The Posterior Fornix Orgasm)

This king of orgasm is reached by stimulating the section of the vagina that is positioned at the deepest part of the back wall, right before the cervix.

Direct stimulation of the deep spot will cause intense orgasms. Some ladies compare it to having anal sex. When this orgasm is performed it gives off excited responses like: “This is the first time I have ever felt like this,” or, “Wow! What’s going on!” This particular section of the vagina is not well known, so not many women have not been able to experience it. This kind of female orgasm can also be performed by using the fingers, also using “come hither” motions. Use both deep and shallow strokes, and you can even use two fingers if you’d like.

Note: First ask the woman what she feels when you touch her cervix – some women love it and others completely hate it.

7. The U-Spot Orgasm

This type of female orgasm results from stimulation along a small area of erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening – a small section of skin in between the urethra and the vagina. If this region is gently stroked with the finger, the tongue, or the tip of the penis, there will be a powerful erotic response.

Any woman can experience any of the above listed female orgasms. However, a few more orgasms are not so common. They are:

8. The Breast Orgasm

This type of orgasm happens during a peak of stimulation toward the breasts. A woman’s nipples are connected to nerve endings in the female genitals, and a large amount of women experience a direct connection with their clitoris when their nipples are stimulated.

Many women feel increased sexual excitement when their nipples are stimulated. However, not all women can experience the breast orgasm, so this mainly depends on the sensitivity of her nipples.

9. The Oral Orgasm

This orgasm can be experienced by women who are very sensitive orally. The mouth plays a huge role in a human’s sexual nervous system. This is the reason that kissing causes arousal in both men and women. The mouth orgasm can take place during any intimate activity done orally such as kissing, licking, sucking, or performing oral sex.

It has been described by women as a feeling beginning in their lips and then rushing from the mouth to the genitals, followed by the rest of her body.

10. The Skin Orgasm

This orgasm can come about by sensually rubbing certain areas of female body that are not directly in connection with the sexual nervous system. Examples include orgasms experienced by many women during the typical massage session, face treatments at the cosmetologist, and so on.

11. The Mental Orgasm

This kind of female orgasm can happen during visual and auditory stimulation. Examples of such stimulation are movies, videos, sexual behavior exhibited in front of others, and sexually-charged talk during foreplay. Women become so turned on that they can actually experience an orgasm from excitement alone.

Eddie Fews