If there is one thing I’ve learned on my journey of coaching both men and women in this field, it’s that women put a whole lot more stock into the things guys say than we do.
As men we enjoy getting positive reactions from women and so we can find ourselves being loose with our tongues vainly trying to give a woman good feelings and make her smile.
However, these aren’t things that we actually connect with in the way that women do . Early on in a woman’s dating life they take our words seriously, and after many let downs they can find themselves in a space in which they just don’t believe what men say anymore.
I know a number of women that have said that all men to them are “guilty” as liars until proven innocent. That they pretty much nod “uh huh” to themselves while men offer words of affection. And the truth of the matter is they are 100% right for doing this.
We’ve all heard the expression that actions speak louder than words. And as a result of this I tell all the women I coach and work with to receive a man saying, “ I love you” as just a compliment – no different than him saying ,“ I like your hair” until his actions say different. A man saying, “ I love you”, to a woman does not mean that he wants to be with her. All it really means is that you are giving him good feelings and emotions in this moment and so he’s expressing that to you.
A great movie gives him good feelings too, but that doesn’t mean he wants to watch that movie and that movie only for the rest of his life. This is where women get it confused, because they don’t operate like this.
Women feel deeper than we do, and they usually take the time out to consider their feelings and analyze their feelings much more than we do. So when a woman says ,“ I love you”, it has more of a meaning to her. She’s often thought about it, has reasons that she respects you whether she can explain them or not, and has decided to put her trust in you. So naturally, women- on some level- think early on in their dating lives that when we talk love, it is after careful consideration, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
What many of us don’t understand is that “love” is a feeling just like anger is a feeling. It’s an explosion of oxytocin, dopamine, and other hormones in the body that are being released into the blood stream due to the stimuli we are dealing with. So, a mans interpretation of love is often ,“ I feel these hormones and I am expressing them”, but this is surface level infatuation – not love. This is not the way an emotionally mature woman interprets love.
As men we have to be mindful of this, and we have to become conquerers of these hormonal explosions. We often do this with fear and anger, but do so with love as much. Just as we don’t allow irrational fears to hold us back, nor do we react to our anger every time we feel it, we shouldn’t react to love every time it is felt either.
It takes time to know you love a woman. You can only know you love a woman by her consistently keeping up with the behaviors that produce feelings of “love” over time. Anyone can be consistent for a month or two, but can they keep making mental, spiritual, and physical contributions to that “love” over a long period of time? That’s the test, that’s how you know there is any merit or reason you should accept the “feeling” of the love.
For the women who find themselves confused on whether or not a man loves you i’ll provide a break down. I do this because many women are in relationships with men who are abusing them whether physically or emotionally in the name of love. Other women allow a man’s expression of “love” to be the reason they remain attached to a relationship that they shouldn’t be attached to.
When you consider whether or not a man loves you, you must first ask yourself two questions. First, what else does he love that isn’t you? Get a pen and a paper and make a list of all of the things he has expressed love for. And now ask yourself,“ How much of what he loves does he share with me?” For example if a man really loves his mother, and has expressed that, have you met his mother? Have you spoken to her? How much of his mother has he shared with you? If a man really loves his car, see if he’ll let you drive his car.
The second question and most important one is, “What does he have the least of?”, and how much of that does he share with you? Grab a pen and a paper and make a list of everything he doesn’t have much of and ask yourself how much of that does he share. Let’s say the guy you’re with doesn’t have a lot of money. How much of the money that he does have, is he willing share with you?
Any billionaire can spend money on a woman and it’s meaningless to him because he has so much. It’s no big deal to throw some money away and proclaim love due to it. Now let’s take that same billionaire and let’s say he doesn’t have a lot of “free time”. How much of his free time does he give you? And if he really loves you, how much of his “used up” time does he allow you to become a part of? Does he bring you along during times in which he would normally be alone?
This is how you use a man’s actions to determine if he’s truly connected to the emotions that he’s expressing. If these two aspects aren’t in place then his love is nothing more than a compliment. And you must treat it that way. That is the only way he’ll take bigger and wider steps to expressing that love in action.
He must see that that love just being expressed by his word is not good enough for you. And this doesn’t just go for the word “love”, this goes for “like”, him saying he’s “interested” and anything else. Those two questions are still relevant, just to a lesser degree.
This is how women save themselves from the dreaded “fuck boys” they are complaining about today. And let’s not just blame them, you women have to keep your own emotions in check just as well. Most men do believe themselves when they start expressing a genuine interest in you. They’re confused by their own feelings that changes later when they realized that it wasn’t “love” or “like” the way they initially thought it was love and like. It was a passing phase of hormones into the blood stream that are gone now that they have had their experience with you. But, when a guy shares what he loves with you, and shares what he has the least of with you, he will become invested into you and connected to you on a level deeper than words. You become wired into the fabric of his being; and that is what you want.
Guys only cast women to the side that they don’t have stock in. When there is no stock, there is no expected return of investment. When there is no expected return of investment, they don’t make any effort toward getting that return. They give what they don’t need, and then move on when they’re done. When a man gives you things that he values he finds it hard to let you just “walk away”, and then becomes emotionally invested in making sure you don’t walk away. He must share with you the things that he loves and then things that he has the least of to develop that burning desire to want to work to keep you around. When held to that standard the men not for you will blow themselves out of your life before you even begin to get emotionally invested.
If you’re a man or woman that needs help with your relationship Click Here to send me an email. Thanks For Reading.
For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com – ask about my free 15 minute consultation.
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Although my dating and social development material is necessary for personal growth, I do want to make a point to begin writing about money. Money allows us to date, money affords us greater freedom to be creative, and money allows us to support a family. I recently ran into some research by way of Author Thomas Corley, who documented the daily habits of 233 wealthy people and 128 of those less fortunate for five years. Thomas Corley states that it is not just about what’s going on in business that allow some to build wealth, it is also their daily habits and activities that are responsible for the reason some are wealthy and some aren’t.
Before I divulge into the research let me just say that there is no guarantee that if you do all these things you will become rich. Nor are these habits all that these people are doing to become rich, but I do believe it’s obvious that the more characteristics you share with the rich the higher your chances of being rich. If you did everything Kobe Bryant did on and off the basketball court, there’s no guarantee you would be as good as him, but you would be a lot better than most. So here are a few things rich people do differently than poor people.
1. 80% of wealthy make Happy Birthday calls vs. 11% of poor.
Anyone familiar with the law of attraction understands that you reap what you sow. Those that go out of their way to “give” are always “given to.” Even if that giving is just warm feelings of appreciation. A smile for someone else today could turn into a dollar for you tomorrow. Money is energy; you give energy helpful to others and you get energy helpful to you.
2. 70% of the wealthy eat less than 300 junk food calories per day. 97% of poor people eat more than 300 junk food calories per day.
Although health is wealth, we are also what we eat. A clean diet produces clean thoughts. A poor diet produces a poor life. There was a time in which people spent 70% of their income on making sure they had access to quality food. Food is our fuel; the better our fuel the better we function, the better we function the more we can accomplish.
3. 23% of wealthy gamble. 52% of poor people gamble.
Do you spend more time sitting around hoping to get lucky or putting in the time, energy, and effort to create your own luck? Although gambling can be fun and entertaining amongst those with self discipline, the wealthy to tend to look for areas with a higher probability for a ROI when using their money for the purpose of getting money.
4. 81% of wealthy maintain a to-do list vs. 19% for poor.
An organized thinker has an organized life. One that keeps track of their money always has money, just as one that keeps track of their daily activities tend to get more done than those that don’t. The more you get done the more wealth you can create.
5. 63% of wealthy parents make their children read 2 or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3% for poor.
If a man doesn’t grow mentally his pockets do not grow financially. When we educate ourselves we increase our capacity to create for others. The more we create for others the more will be given to us by others.
6. 88% of wealthy read 30 minutes or more each day for education or career reasons vs 2% for poor.
I want to connect 5 and 6 because I find these numbers to be alarming. Just 2 and 3 percent of those that aren’t rich are actively reading educational material? 30 minutes isn’t at all much; many of us spend 30 minutes day dreaming about things we won’t remember everyday. By turning that time into just 30 minutes of reading, wealth can be added to our lives.
7. 6% of wealthy say what’s on their mind vs. 69% for poor.
I was always taught that the more you know the less you’ll say. The rich spend more of their time showing you what they know as opposed to injecting their opinion and talking about what they know. Actions speak louder than words; actions pay more than words as well.
8. 6% of wealthy watch reality TV vs. 78% for poor.
TV isn’t just entertainment. We are all products of our diets. What we put in our mouth, what we listen to with our ears, what we watch with our eyes, and so forth. Most reality TV Stars aren’t what you would call rich or wealthy. If we want riches and wealth we must watch those with wealth and listen to those with wealth. We become like that which we surround ourselves with.
9. 44% of wealthy wake up 3 hours before work starts vs. 3% for poor.
Early bird gets the worm? You’ll have more than the person you are doing more than. The earlier you rise the more you can accomplish.
10. 63% of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to work vs. 5% for poor people.
We can spend our time being entertained or we can spend our time learning. It is often said that smart phones are making us dumb, but this is not true. The way we use smart phones is what’s making us dumb. Are we using it an empowerment tool or as an escape from a life we are not comfortable with?
11. 84% of wealthy believe good habits create opportunity luck vs. 4% for poor.
This ties back into the gambling one above. Wealth is created by good habits just as health is created by good habits. The more good we put out the more good we will draw back in. When we find someone thats deemed “lucky” most don’t know that they often take part in a lot of healthy habits privately that attract their luck.
In closing, character is both defined by what we do when people are watching and when people are not. Those with the strongest character tend to have the strongest capacity to attract that which they want. It’s not always wealth, as everyone doesn’t have desire to be wealthy. But we should all have a desire to be the best us that we can be. Improving in the areas of life that we value so that we can increase our contribution to society. We weren’t created to be drones staring at lit up cell phones looking for entertainment. We were created to serve and be served by others. And the better our service, the more we will reap from those which we serve.
If you are interested in more material from the founder of this research visit his direct website by clicking here.
Thank You for Reading.
Dating & Social Development Coach ‘Eddie Fews
For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com – ask about my free 20 minute consultation.
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So I was recently hired by a highly attractive educated young woman to begin working with her on improving her dating life success. Her, unlike most with her credentials, physical appeal, and youth had decided that enough was enough, and that she was ready for change. She was only thirty years old, had graduated from one of the top ten schools in the country, had her masters, and is damn near making six figures a year doing marketing with a fortune 500 company right here in New York City. Her problem you ask? She somehow couldn’t manage to get a guy to commit to her for any thing other then a long-term friends with benefits situationship. And I do mean long term. She had had one for two years, another for three, and even one that stretched as long as six years that only ended recently after he proposed to, and married his best friend who he had been crushing on all along. So for the life of her, she wondered what she was doing wrong. You see, she wasn’t a bad woman at all. She had kept all of these men coming around for years and years, so there was obviously something about her that they couldn’t so easily let go of. So what was it? Why wouldn’t they commit to her in the way she wanted? This all had led us into a deeper conversation, an as she revealed some things about herself to me, I had encouraged her to do what I refer to as an “honesty exercise” on FaceTime with this new guy that was set to take her on a first date later on in the week.
She told the guy she would like to FaceTime, he agreed, and then he reported back to her the next morning to inform her that he had ‘fallen asleep before he could FaceTime, but that he would prefer to meet in person anyway so i didn’t matter much’. Her response? “ Okay That Works! 🙂 Saturday?” .. And thats when I realized what part of the problem she was having was. She was just too easy. Instead of committing to the exercise that I suggested she did, she allowed the guy of interest to side step it, and pull her right back into doing what it is he wanted without her putting up any resistance. It’s kind of like a girl saying “ I’m saving myself for marriage” on the first date and then the moment a guy says “ Nah. i’d prefer to have sex tonight” , she responds “Okay thats fine”. Wheres the backbone? No Resistance or challenge at all? You know the move women do even when they know they’re going to have sex with you, when they move your hand the first few times you reach for there erogenous zones, just so they don’t come across as too easy.. Not even a verbal one of those? I have no doubt that if this guy has any skill with women, the moment he saw her response he immediately concluded that he would probably be able to sleep with her on the first night.
She asked me what should she have done and I told her she should of busted his balls. I told her it is your job a female companion to bust a mans balls anytime he deviates from his masculinity. It’s the only thing thats going to make him feel like you in fact, have the potential to make him better. Staying true to our word, and doing what we said we would do is a standard that men are held to. A man cannot be a leader if he’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants, and his word cannot be relied upon. Whether he knows it consciously or not a man wants a woman that helps snap him back into position when he falls short of his highest masculine nature. I told her any response such as “ So you didn’t do what you said you would, and now you want me to do what you want? I don’t know mister 😛 “ would of have been sufficient. She kicked herself a bit and told me that she was just nervous that she would come across “bitchy” if she didn’t just go with it. I informed her that when a woman is that easy all she’ll do is weaken a guy over time. It’s like a mother that feeds a child candy every time they ask. It’ll make them happy in the moment, but then what happens in the future? So that behavior is an ego boost for men, and we all know men connect ourselves to women that stroke our egos, but what exactly does an ego boost that isn’t deserved do to a man over time? It destroys him. It dulls his blade. It convinces him that the shell of himself that he is currently being is someone good. Men are programed to pass on our seeds, and most of us won’t become much more than we have to become to successfully do that. That’s what success is to a man biologically; successfully being able to spread your seed as much as possible. This is why the majority of men who go around laying pipe every where don’t really do well in life. (Another reason most of our favorite musicians fall off after getting mainstream successful if they’re unmarried) . You ever hear a woman say ” broke men are the best in bed” ? The success of spreading their seed is convincing their biology that they’re already successful. So the motivation to exceed beyond that is non existent. On a biological level this is the case, but a spiritual level men in tune with themselves know something different. We understand that an overly easy going woman will dull our blade, and we subconsciously resent them for it.
Thats what a side chick is for. The reason a man seeks out a side chick, or a “friends with benefits” is so that we have a woman that carelessly pumps our ego so that we feel “good enough” to deal with our wife, or the woman we actually want to be our wives. She boosts our morale and a self esteem, but she doesn’t actually do anything to boost us beyond that. Our wives on the other hand are holding us to the standard of what they know our potential is. The side chicks are the women on the sideline, the cheerleaders, the screaming fan. The wife is that mirror we have to look into at the end of the day when its all said and done. And what would happen to you if you suddenly could no longer gain access to a mirror? You could think you look good all you like, and feel good because of it , but would you actually look good? And until a woman, your wife, or a mirror revealed to you what you actually look like, you could be living a long life of disillusion.
It is important that a wife learns to be both however, lest their man will begin looking for that side chick. Someone to boost his morale, while his wife challenges him to be better. If you could be a mans biggest fan, and his mirror perhaps he would be slower to seek it out else where. But all in all, if he could only choose one, as I told my client, a man wants his woman to be a blade sharpener. Which is why a man almost never leaves his wife for his side chick. He wants to slice through the world as his woman sharpens his blade. My client was just being another portion of the world that men were slicing through. She wasn’t doing anything to make them better at slicing, or to strengthen their blade. Eventually that mans blade would hit a wall that was too thick from him to slice through because he was being convinced that he was sharp enough already, but he was not actually prepared for what was ahead. She was an amazing side chick; probably one of the best, and this was confirmed after she revealed that several of her situationships led to the guys getting married or being in happy long term relationships after her.
The woman a man needs prepares him for the world ahead. I’ve heard story after story of a woman that supported her man entirely after he lost his job, supported him in his depression, only to have him leave her for another woman once he got back onto his feet. But the support they were offering wasn’t the support these mens spirits were actually longing for. They were giving the “ i’m here for you no matter what. Just take your time to figure yourself out” kind of support, but his spirit was looking for that “ I’m here for you, but I’ll have to leave you if you don’t eventually get your shit together” kind of support. Only one of those was actually going to boost him to do something. I’ve told the story a million times of the woman I know who worked a second job and gave all of the money to her boyfriend, and bought him books, until he figured out what he was going to do with his life who’s now happily married to him and wealthy 18 years later. But the difference between her man and most men is the guy she was with wasn’t lazy, unmotivated, nor was he bum. He was selling drugs at a high level, and getting money the only way he knew how. He just didn’t know any other way, so she asked an already ambitious man to stay at home, while she worked until he figured out a way to redirect his ambition. If he went back to the streets during this time, she was going to leave him, she said it. She wasn’t just taking shit; she was taking some, but she was offering true spiritual support. He sat at home, doing nothing but reading for a whole year while his girlfriend worked a second job an gave him all the money, before he become the multi-millionaire he is today.
Now this isn’t some call for women to no longer remain with the guy you’re currently with. It’s a group effort; I’d suggest that if your man isn’t currently being the man you would like him to be then it could be possible that you’re failing as his companion. Especially if he was once a sharp motivated man when you met him that has somehow lost his way. Did you dull his blade? Why isn’t he sharp? What happen to his motivation? And what true spiritual support have you offered him to try to change that? I would encourage all women to remain with a man thats being honest, upright, and treating you with respect. There isn’t an “I” in team, so if your man isn’t being all he could be, it is possible that you may not be being all that you can be to him. Or that you’re not acting as a source of support and motivation thats encouraging him to become more.
This isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle of becoming the woman that a man needs, this is just one vital portion that I discovered my client was lacking. This is the edges of the puzzle if you will. Her and I will be completing the puzzle over time as we’ll continue our work. Once you become the woman you’re man needs, once you sharpen his blade, and become his mirror that both highlights his beauty and reveals to him his true self a man will be happy be the man to you and to the world that you’ve been wanting him to the entire time.
Thanks For Reading.
For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com
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This one will probably be met with several screw faces from the female supporters, but I’m going to be optimistic and offer a perspective that should speak to a few of you. The few with a mind that is open to at least discussing masculine ideas without becoming angry. The few who’ll find it easiest to get a man to want to commit to them long term in the first place. I’ve found in my personal life that the most attractive and confident women have a spirit of seeking to understand. They may not agree right away, but they don’t go touting their opinion easily. They understand that there is a difference within the psychology of a man and a woman and thus, they seek to understand the males way of thinking to better help them function in a union with one. The majority of these women just so happen to be in functional relationships, but perhaps that’s just a coincidence.
Today it’s very easy for a woman to say, “Well this is what I want and if he doesn’t like it then its on to the next one”, but how long does this mentality survive until you’ve worn yourself out through failed relationship after failed relationship and one finds themselves alone? It is the very “on to the next one” mentality that results in a man not feeling attracted to a woman anyway. I’ve wrote about this before. A man thrives off of feeling needed, so if you’re mentality is “On to the next one, I can do fine without a man, My feelings or the highway etc…” you will produce a vibe that will subconsciously be a repellent to the opposite sex. He may stick around to enjoy the sex, the affection, and good times, but his eyes will continue to wander to a place in which he can feel that he is “needed”.
Women want to feel “wanted” and men want to feel “needed”. It is a thin line, but there is a difference between the two. Before I get into the topic let me also say that there are always exceptions to every rule. Every time I write something like this I get an email from a woman saying,“ Well I knew this guy that this didn’t apply to”. Of course you do. I’m speaking to the majority. If I wrote an article saying, “Men have ten toes” would you email me saying, “ Well I disagree. I knew someone who had 11 toes?”.
So lets not do that here.
It is also true that men are being emasculated today. We’re dealing with some of the most emotional, not knowing what they want, tipping toeing men of all time. This is happening for several reasons that I will be tackling in my next article,“Why Have Men Become So Effeminate?”. Women are also being a lot more masculine, and consequently we’re dealing with some of the most aggressive, detached, and combative women of all time. So I understand that these two types will be the first to write this content off before they even try comprehend it. But my intent is only to speak to the true nature of masculinity, and not what masculinity has been marginalized into during the 21st century.
Now with that being said, this article is not written to encourage women to give their man a cheat day, its more so written to get women to understand a male’s way of thinking, his nature, and his emotions more than anything. You can do whatever you want with the information after that, but understanding one another should be pivotal. So I’m going to go into several aspects arguing my case, and if you can keep an open mind and put away what YOU think, and your opinions for a moment please continue. If you’re already turning up your nose and waiting to disagree, you can stop here and leave a comment disagreeing as if you read the entire thing and understand what I’m trying to say.
I’ll start by presenting this one fact: ‘A single human male produces enough sperm in two weeks to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.
Would you or would you not agree that a creatures genetic make up has some impact an influence on what that creature does and that creature’s way of thinking? Surely a lion being born with claws and sharp teeth feels compelled to hunt animals for meat. Its teeth and digestive system aren’t made to digest grass, and so it hunts because of its biological make up . This isn’t some social construct. No one has to tell the lion that it’s suppose to hunt other animals. The lion knows instinctively that its job is to hunt because of the cards that it has been dealt. So, what would possessing enough sperm cells to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet every two weeks do to a man on an instinctual level when our bodies naturally produce hormones that trigger us to want to reproduce? Nothing happens for no reason in nature. It is our hormones and our emotions that trigger our actions.
For example, when a man or woman becomes angry it is because their bodies are producing a chemical called catecholamine, and it is this chemical that triggers the motivation to act out in anger. Its not just a mental thing. It’s a hormonal cause for the emotion that proceeds before the action. So in that same light, how does a woman only being able to have one child a year influence her instinctual behavior? Her traditional nature would encourage her to find one suitable partner with strong genes so that she could give birth and maintain the population of the planet. Nature didn’t create sex so that we could have pleasure, nature made sex pleasurable so that we would reproduce. If sex were painful our subconscious would instinctively shy us away from the act.
So what does a man and woman’s biological nature tell you about the way that we feel compelled to act instinctively? A man’s nature – producing enough sperm to impregnate every female on the planet; a woman’s nature – only being able to produce one child per year? Which would be the one that would be more concerned with finding a commitment with one person? And before anyone says humans have free will… sure we do, but nature still plays its role. This is why you consistently hear women saying, “All men are the same” and men saying ,“ All women are the same”. Surely we each have our own personality and things that makes us unique, but we all possess the same nature. Just as all lions are the same, and all dolphins are the same. They each have unique attributes, but when you boil them down to their nature they each do the same exact things.
And this brings me to my next point:
When a male and female copulate,hug, kiss or touch, a chemical called oxytocin is produced. Oxytocin is a bonding chemical, and this is what creates the romantic feelings we feel for one another. The body begins to crave the feel good chemical oxytocin and this creates the emotion which is responsible for attachment. The most oxytocin is produce when a woman breast is being sucked on, so if any ladies out there are with a no good man that you can’t seem to get away from; keep the guy away from your breast. This is the same chemical produced when a woman is breast feeding that intensifies the bond and connection between a mother and her child. Now, did you that know oxytocin is produced by both man and woman, but testosterone nullifies oxytocin? And the more testosterone a man has the more difficult it will be for him to be attached to any one person. The chemical responsible for attachments begins to be nullified within him. You don’t just love someone dearly because you love them, you love them because they’ve succeeded at producing a sufficient amount of feel good chemicals in your body that created the attachment. This can’t be forced and/or manufactured. A man can’t just love you the way you love him because you want him to. You have to succeed at producing high enough levels of oxytocin within him that can’t be all nullified because of his testosterone. And the more testosterone he has, the more difficult this will be. Which is why the most alpha males(men with the highest testosterone counts) sleep with the most women and have the most difficult time with commitment. He just doesn’t feel it the way that you do. So a mans ability to want to stick around with you after sex isn’t just based on how soon or how late you have sex with him. It is based on how much oxytocin you’ve succeeded at getting him to produce before, and during the act. You wait too long and see him too infrequently, and he will have produced enough testosterone to get rid of it- and the attachment. Too soon, and there simply just isn’t enough yet.
Now let me just say that it is possible to make a man produce enough oxytocin in one day if you’re skilled, and if things line up with the other factors in play, but that’s another article altogether. I will elaborate more on this in my book for woman on how to successful seduce the man they want, but what I will say is that the less sperm a man is carrying over an extended period of time the less testosterone he will have. So if he has masturbated or had sex several days before meeting you and you’re skilled, he won’t have the testosterone available to nullify the oxytocin. Hence why older men are more willing to enter a commitment because a mans testosterone count lowers as he gets older. This is not something men are aware of. For the most part we’re just on autopilot responding to our nature. So my question is, why must men be held to the same commitment standards as women when we’re not even capable of feeling the same things that women are feeling for us biologically? Should a man born without sight be forced to pass an eye exam lest he be cast away?
Why is it that the majority of mammals on the planet exist within a system that contains few males and many females? In a cow pen there is one bull, and a bunch of cows. Lion prides contain one lion and several lioness. In a herd of deer there is usually one alpha male deer that is responsible for impregnating 90% of the females in the herd. Even in a chicken coop there is usually one or two roosters( if the coop is big enough) and a bunch of hens and the one rooster is responsible for fertilizing all the eggs. What is that telling us about the nature of male creatures? Perhaps just more coincidences.
Lets dive into commitment from a male point of view:
When a woman meets a confidant alpha male who naturally attracts a lot of women what is the usual dynamic? Typically the Alpha male will not be looking to settle down with any one particular girl in the early years of his life, and so he will be developing non-exclusive relationships with multiple women. Because the women like him, they will put up with it for a short time before pressuring him to commit to them exclusively over all of the other girls that he’s seeing. He’ll do one of two things: If he likes her he’ll do his best to comfort her and assure her that he does have feelings for her but he’s still not ready. In other words, he hasn’t been worn down enough. Now if he doesn’t like her, he’ll just cut her off and/or make it clear to her that it’s not going to happen and she’ll walk away or stay until she finds someone willing.
All men who have high levels of success with women have been confronted with this dynamic multiple times. Often from two or three women all at once. We know that we chase women initially to lock in their interest and to win their compliance, and then she chases us after that to maintain our investment in her and to win our commitment. Commitment is almost never actually something that WE as alpha males want. Its something that we give to our women if we value them enough over time. If we had it our way, we would have several women who commit to us that we don’t actually commit to. And this is usually what’s going on. The majority of quality women that I know tell me they don’t feel comfortable sleeping with more than one man at a time. And so they’ll be committing to men in non- committed relationships anyway. This is all just due to their nature if their nature is intact; since a woman can only carry the child of one man at a time. Men on the other hand are able to create thousands of children a year if we have the availability. And so a man’s natural and biological feelings will be in alignment with what his biological potential is. Because most women don’t feel this desire to their core, they can’t accept the fact that we legitimately do. The majority of quality men I know are all sleeping with multiple women until they find one suitable enough to build something with.
Ask a woman why hasn’t she had sex with a thousand attractive men yet? And she’ll say something like “ That’s gross, or I respect myself and I won’t just sleep with anyone”. Ask a guy why he hasn’t had sex with a thousand women yet and he’ll tell you that he just hasn’t had the time to, or hasn’t found that amount of attractive women willing to sleep with him.
So if commitment to monogamy is something that we didn’t even want, but we gave to the woman we love as a reward for putting up with enough of our nonsense, should we not be allowed a cheat day as a reward to us for going against our nature by entering a committed relationship once every blue moon?
What women have to understand is that entering a committed relationship is a lot more simple for them. Women are turning down dozens of men every single day that are trying to sleep with them. So once they enter a relationship they don’t have to do anything new. They only have to continue turning down men same way they were doing before entering the commitment. Every day of a man’s life he is trying to get women to sleep with him either directly or indirectly. That’s our life. So once we enter a commitment we have to perform an action that is the complete opposite of the reality that we live every single day. We’re the only ones that have to struggle with taking up a new practice and a new behavior. The women, for the most part, get to remain the same, because after all, the commitment was something that she wanted. So she’s getting something that she wants, that is congruent with her daily behavior anyway. Its like getting paid to brush your teeth, take a shower, and then commute to work. You’ll do it whether you get paid or not, so to get paid for it is a double and unrealistic bonus. Imagine your boss saying “I’ll give you a two hundred dollar bonus on every check if you eat dinner when you get off work.”. Now of course you don’t have to, but you’re likely to do it anyway, so its easy money.
When people go on a diet, they reward themselves with a cheat day because they’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what they were used to every day of there life prior. So in that same light, why shouldn’t men be allowed a cheat day because we’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what we were used to everyday of our life prior? Why can’t our women say “ Wow.. You’ve successfully went against your biological nature and motivation to populate the earth and remained with one woman for a year. Go have a cheat day baby. “ Hell, if a woman would do something as simple as saying, ” Thank you for being faithful” it would make a world of difference in how her man felt about staying strong and honoring the commitment.
The modern day, new age feminist will tell you that monogamy is a social construct, and that is a lie. Monogamy for women is a biological construct. It’s embedded in their nature and their biological potential. Once again, sex wasn’t created for us to have pleasure, pleasure is just the emotional impetus so that we will have sex and procreate. Third wave feminism is atheism. You can’t believe in a higher power and think that our biological natures weren’t created with a purpose. But shout out to all of my feminists. Pardon me. This article isn’t for you.
So I want to wrap this up by reiterating that I am not encouraging women to run and tell their boyfriend “ go have a cheat day”, your feelings should matter as well. But what we’re not going to do is coddle childish emotions that aren’t validated by anything other than more emotion, and make decisions based off of that. The discussion can be had, perhaps your man is over that stage of his life, perhaps his T count isn’t where it used to be, and he’s had his fun already. I just think that we should all strive to understand one another a lot more.
In the eleventh chapter of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said “ The woman who understand a man’s nature and tactfully caters to it, need have no fear of competition from other women. Men may be “giants” with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice.” And I completely agree with this statement. Its easy to say “only an insecure woman would go for something like this” and while an insecure woman may go for this out of necessity, a woman with the ultimate confidence may be willing to allow it because she understands.
I always tell women that men rule on the front end, we are the conscious mind and women are the subconscious mind. The subconscious is responsible for 80% of our thoughts and activity, but the thing is, the conscious mind doesn’t even know the subconscious mind is operating. A woman that understands her man and seeks to provide him with what he needs will rule her man. And the beauty of it all is, he won’t even have the slightest idea of whats going on. The insecure woman is controlled by her man, because she is trying to control him on the front end. The conscious end. Leave that to him, let him think he’s ruling. He will feel a lot more comfortable with opening up and revealing his true feelings to you that way. The truly confident woman allows her man to have that 20% front end; the small battle, because she knows that ultimately she is ruling from behind the scenes; responsible for 80% of his activity. The women that get a thorough grasp on this, will never be short on a man that’s willing to commit to her and give her his everything.
For anyone further interested in an example of this topic you can check out this couple from Brooklyn, New York who have allowed two additional women into the relationship and are sharing one man between them three. The man and his first wife have been together for 17 years, the two other women have been with him and his wife for 11 years. How many of you have been with one person consistently for 5 years? And i’m not talking about breaking up and getting back together years later. I’m talking about a strong consistent five years. They’re all attractive women who could easily have a man to themselves if they truly wanted to. The women don’t sleep with each other, they don’t do threesomes, and there is not a sign of low self esteem insight. You can check that out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XaRjpjdui8
Thanks for reading.
For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com
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My last article was on the subject of men and women holding each other to higher standards, so we can each begin to improve the quality of ourselves, each other, and the quality of mates we’re attracting into our lives.
I had received a great deal of emails from women thanking me for giving them hope, saying things like “Thank you, I now know that it’s okay not to settle for less than what I deserve”. And while I agree with them, I can’t help but notice a common theme amongst the women of the 21st century.
You ready for it?
I find that many women lack the feminine version of the qualities that they desire in a man; and also, their desire to be liked for the same reasons that they like a man. The high-majority of women who I speak with day to day, are completely out of touch with what it is that attract men, and what it is that men desire. And so they are continually frustrated, because we as men are not attracted to them for the same reasons that they are attracted to us.
I meet a lot of these successful independent women who say things like “I have my Master’s degree, I make over $100,000 dollars a year, I can fend for myself, why can’t I find a decent man?” And what these women don’t realize is that men are not biologically programmed to look at a woman for what she can provide. So the amount of money a woman makes a year means absolutely nothing to the biological reasons that men find women attractive. I would even go so far as to say that any man who is looking to a woman for what she can provide isn’t a man. That’s not how “men” are wired. Women are biologically programmed to look at a man for what he can provide, the same way they look toward a man biologically as a figure of protection. Real men (in my dame dash voice) do not operate this way. A man should not look for his woman to protect him. Imagine a man saying to a group of his friends “Yo… I love my girl man. Last night she killed a big ass spider for me. I was scared as shit. I screamed and she just jumped up and killed it. She’s dope“.
Ladies… what would you do if there was an intruder in the home and your man hid underneath the bed and asked you if you could go out and deal with it? You would probably lose every nanobyte of respect and attraction for that man. Why does that happen? Because biologically you are wired to look to a man as a figure of strength who could protect you if he could.
Ever go on a date with a man who just doesn’t make you feel “safe”? Were you attracted to that man? Of course not.
So why is it that women get into this habit of expecting us to like them for the same reasons that they like us?
I’ll have a woman say something like “Eddie… I love you” and I will genuinely say “thank you” in appreciation that she has expressed herself to me in such a way, and do you know what she’ll say? “Why didn’t you say that you loved me too?” I’ll say “Why do you love me?” She’ll usually say something like “because you’re so funny, wise, and insightful”. I’ll respond genuinely “So why should I love you ‘too’ because I’m funny, wise and insightful? You saying that you love me right now is predicated upon how you feel in this moment. Why do you expect me to love you in this moment the same way you love me, when you’re not doing the same things I am doing in this moment to be loved?”
The problem is, many women I speak with have completely lost touch with what it is that men want and find attractive. With all of the studying they do on men, they still somehow can’t wrap their head around this concept.
So I wrote this piece as a call to women to begin checking whether or not they are the feminine version of that which a man is looking for.
If I make a $100,000 a year and you make $100,000 a year, and one of the reasons you “like me” is because I do decent financially, and I would be able to provide for you if I had too, that doesn’t mean that I am suppose to like you equally for making the hundred thousand dollars.
I say this because, I am not programmed biologically to like you for your ability to provide. We are not equal in terms of attraction in that regard. My $100,000 means something to you biologically – something to the core of your nature. But, your $100,000 means absolutely nothing to me biologically – nothing to the core of my nature. Financial security has nothing to do with the core reasons that I feel attraction for a woman.
A man will approach the girl coming out of McDonalds, with the same type of intensity and desire as the woman walking down Wall Street. If she possesses and has developed/cultivated the qualities that attract him biologically, the money that she makes doesn’t mean a thing.
I want to repeat this again… Any man who feels attraction for you because of how well you do financially is NOT a man. And you will find yourself not attracted to him, and at constant war with him after the honeymoon phase. The man that you want, if you are in tune with your femininity, is the man that will hold you to the standards of what attracts him biologically.
So I agree that a woman should hold the men to the standard of being able to provide if necessary, and a man should hold women to the standard of being that which he finds attractive – which I’ll get into in a second.
This is not some outdated way of thinking… this is our nature. This is what has allowed us to function for thousands of years in harmony. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the world is currently being destroyed at alarming rates, and the natural fabric of how a man and woman function naturally together is also being destroyed. I believe these extremely high divorce rates, lack of couples getting married, and just unhappy relationships in general, are all a product of this confusion. And each gender is pointing the finger at the other without us realizing what the problem actually is. We are being socially conditioned away from out nature and it is destroying the reasons that we come together.
I now ask the reader… “How many people do you know that you can legit say are in a healthy and happy relationship?”
It’s gotten so bad that break up and divorces have become the norm. We almost expect it now. How often do you expect your guy and girl friends’ boyfriend/girlfriends to stay together? I find many people counting the seconds until it’s over. I know that when I was in high school and the girl I crushed on got into a relationship, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot.
So what is it that men want? Now just as being able to “provide” and being able to “protect” is just two of the many aspects that women are naturally programmed to look for in a man, I will provide two of the many aspects that men are programmed to look for in a woman. For more aspects feel free to send me an email and I can speak with you on this.
1.The Visual – Most women have a difficult time wrapping their heads around this because they believe that they are visual too. And they’re not. At least not in the way that men are visual. For an example of the difference you can watch the videos below:
The Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8
The Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUy3_kBme4M
The videos show the difference in the male versus the female reaction to being catfished. In the first video men speak with a woman on tinder who’s, fit and slender, but when she appears on the date she is about 100 pounds heavier than she was in the photo. The same thing happens in the second video; but this time its women meeting up with a guy they thought was in shape, but turns out to be 100 pounds heavier than his photo.
In this video, the women are all a lot more open to giving the overweight “deceiver” a chance than the men are to giving the overweight deceiving woman a chance. The men in the video are practically incapable of functioning. They just can’t handle or look beyond the visual. They ask no further questions, they’re completely uncomfortable and can see nothing else. The women on the other hand are open to see who this guy is, why he may have lied, and if he is someone they can at least be friends with. Someone they can possibly encourage or help. The men… well they took off running.
Now why do you think this is? If you read the comments on the video you will see that a lot of women were offended that the men didn’t respond in the fashion in which they would have responded. Which completely breaks down the reason why I am writing this piece. Men are not attracted to and/or open to women for the same reasons that women are attracted to and/or open to men.
Let’s take Cleopatra for example: it is said that the key to Cleopatra’s consistent ability to seduce some of the most powerful men in the world in that time, is because of her understanding of the male visual. She would completely seduce and dazzle the men of that time with the visual; Robert Greens “The Art of Seduction” even quotes:
“Only one image of Cleopatra survives – A barley visible profile on a coin, but we have numerous written descriptions. She had a long thin face and a somewhat pointed nose; her dominate features were her wonderfully large eyes. Her seductive power however, did not lie in her looks – indeed many among the women of Alexandria were considerately more beautiful than she. What she did have above all women was the ability to distract a man. In reality, Cleopatra was physically unexceptional and had no political power, yet both Caesar and Mark Anthony, brave and clever men saw none of this. What they saw was a woman who constantly transformed herself before their eyes, a one-woman spectacle. Her dress and make up changed from day to day, but always gave her a heightened goddess like appearance […] by the time your head lay on the pillow beside her, your mind was spinning with images and dreams […] you never possessed Cleopatra, you worshiped her […] From Cleopatra we learn that it is not beauty that makes a seductress/siren, but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man’s fantasies […] A man is easily deceived by appearances ; he has weakness for the visual. Create the physical presence of a siren (heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner) and he is trapped. He cannot grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you. Keep up the distractions and never let him see who you really are. He will follow you until he drowns. “
Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar are both men that could have had access to the most attractive women of all kinds and creeds across the entire planet. But it was Cleopatra, “A woman that had been exiled from Egypt” with the understanding of the male visual that gave her access to the most powerful men the world had to offer. These men even neglected their responsibility and duties within their own country to remain with her in Egypt. Mark Anthony had even known all about how she had seduced Caesar and brought down his kingdom and he still found himself unable to resist her. Think about that… (I’d encourage any woman further interested in this topic to look up the book “The Art of Seduction” and the chapter titled “The Siren” which is the first chapter of the book)
2. The Desire to Feel Powerful – I spoke about this in my Go Pro radio interview a bit more extensively, but to paraphrase… All men have this innate desire to feel as if they are kings of the earth. To Feel Powerful. The more testosterone the male has, the stronger his desire for this. It is what drives a man to want the most attractive woman to parade around and show off, and it is what drives him to want to make the most money. It is a symbol to other men that he is the most dominant and powerful one of them all. All masculine mammals in nature have this battle. There is always one male that has to rise to be the Alpha male of the group. It is even said that in some species of male animals just 5% of the males produce 95% of the children of that species. Imagine if humans were like that? Well… I can’t say that we’re that much different. I’ve heard that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. There is a masculine desire within each of us to want to dominate and conquer as much as we can. Testosterone even works as an agent to nullify oxytocin which will prevent a man from developing a chemical/emotional bond with the women he has sex with. This is why men can be so detached after sex – especially around a woman whose only way to make a man feel powerful was through the opening of her legs. Once he’s conquered what far too many women hold onto as if it’s some golden ticket that no one else has but them, he will be off to the next conquest. Unless however, a woman comes to terms with the principles that will keep the guy around.
I’ve found that far too many women remain quiet. A man wants to know when he is and how he is affecting you. He needs you to express yourself without the fear that he may or may not be feeling the same.
A woman will text a guy something like “Do you miss me? “ – Which really means she misses him, but she’s not comfortable saying so unless she is sure he feels the same. This is anti-seductive; had she had the self-esteem and confidence to be transparent and just say something like “I miss you. You make me feel so tingly on the inside, I don’t know what to do” she would be sub-communicating to the man that he is powerful. He has the ability to make her miss him and feel tingly.
One of the main reasons why a man likes to have sex is not because of the fifteen second orgasm that he gets when it’s over. It is the moaning, the groaning, and the scratching from his woman that he desires, because that is a sign to him that he is powerful. Having the ability to make a woman moan, groan, and scratch. This is why you can search the internet and find men obsessed over how to please their woman. It is not just to make a woman orgasm, but so that the man himself can feel powerful – knowing he has the ability to give pleasure.
So on the equal level of the visual I find this to be almost of a greater importance. The wives of some of today’s most powerful men on earth are not that physically attractive, but I’m almost certain that they have the ability to make their man feel powerful; and it is probably this ability that inspired the man to have the confidence to take his current position.
Be open, be transparent, and outwardly express how great his ability to affect you is, and the man will crave the words that leave your mouth to no end.
So to wrap this up… I just want the female readers to make sure that they are not trying to be the exact representation of that which they look for in a man. Rather they be the feminine representation of the qualities that men seek from them. If you want a man that makes 25 million dollars a year, just make sure you have a 25 million dollar ability to stimulate him through your visual (not just physical feature) and a 25 million dollar ability to give him dramatic and transparent presentations of what you feel his power to be. Just because a woman is making 25 million, doesn’t mean that she qualifies to get a man that makes 25 million. Because once again, he is not looking at your ability to provide to determine how attracted to you he is. If you want to make lots of money that’s great, but understand that your high level of education and the amount of money you make a year, means little to nothing to a real man’s (one that will make you happy) desire to want you for anything more than just sex.
The society of today has put too much emphasis on masculinity. It’s the only thing highlighted; so much so that many of the women today are being imitations of masculinity. No one talks about the innate power of a woman. It’s almost as if to be a woman is something you should be ashamed of. If we’re going to go forward as a society, I think it’s important that we begin to highlight both the power of a woman and exactly what that power is so that little girls can desire to be that which is closest to their nature.
It is through a great woman’s visual, energetic and transparent verbal stimulation that a man is inspired to rise to the height of his potential. Which is why the statement “Behind every great man, is a great woman” is something I whole heartily agree with. We need each other, and we need you to join us, and not compete with us so that we can live in harmony. How many of our great leaders were without a woman? Women are the divine energy. They are the inspiration for all creation on this planet. Men just take the energy that they give us and put it into practice. But it is the woman who gives birth to the energy to begin with. She conceives it, she gives it life, – the man raises it, and creates the physical manifestation of it. We are to come together as a team, each with our own role to become ONE complete body together. We aren’t meant to compete with one another the way we are today.
Men do not have the ability to conceive and inspire through the creation of energy. We create with the energy, we are not the creators of the energy. So if women start doing what they have the power to do and discontinue being imitations of masculinity, our society and generation can rise to its greatest heights once again. And it is the responsibility of us as men to be strong enough to bring this to their attention. Far too many men are willing to just roll over and get fucked by the direction of society. What happened to our warriors? What happened to our voices? What happened to our leaders? I will be addressing us as men more advertently in my next piece.
Thanks for reading.
For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com
Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here
I’ve always believed in and written about the concept of having an abundant mentality, but not until recent did I wrap my head around the concept in a way that I had never before. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
For one reason or another I’ve been getting approached by women more than I ever have in my life. Women have been approaching me indirectly and asking me questions to some of the most obvious questions. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman Eddie Fews
“Hey, excuse me do you have the time?” – While their phone is in their hand.
“Do you know how to get to “ 34th Street” – while we’re on 34th Street.
Right after I’d tell them, they’d always seem to linger around for about 5-7 seconds, waiting on me to continue the conversation. Now, while I normally engage with women I approach, I’ve been a bit thrown off by the gesture and, as a result, I’ve just stood there wondering if there was anything else they wanted to ask me before they nervously and reluctantly said “well okay…thanks” and walked away. Eddie Fews
Women have been behaving more like men toward me, and I realized that it was happening right around the time I started to think like a woman.
You see, a highly attractive woman has the ultimate abundance mentality. Guys are cat calling them, approaching them, and writing to them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter hundreds of times a day. As a result, they have no problem taking a break from the madness. They don’t mind putting their phone on silent or airplane mode and leaving it out of reach for a couple hours. They’ll cut a guy off that they were once into. They’ll even block certain guys on social media and on their phones so the guys can’t contact them if they wanted to. They’ll reject a quality guy, they’ll say no to “sex”, and they’ll walk away from a guy completely because they understand (and experience) that there will always be another attractive male trying to be in their life; there will always be another attractive male trying to sleep with them. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
That’s the difference between the mindset of guys who aren’t successful with women and the mindset of attractive women and men who are. The average joe won’t turn his phone on airplane mode, because he’s too afraid of missing out on an opportunity with a girl he likes. He won’t block a girl from contacting him – that he likes – even if she disrespects him, because he doesn’t want to miss out, if she decides to contact him. He won’t walk away from a girl he becomes somewhat emotionally attached to without trying everything he can first, because in his life, high quality women don’t come around often. He will never reject sex, if a woman throws it at him, and he will never turn down an attractive women that tries to come on to him. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
Now, what the average guy doesn’t realize is, because he “thinks” this way, because he tries to milk the most out every single opportunity with every attractive women that comes his way, he is developing a mindset that becomes a mild repellant to women. Consequently, he has to work a lot harder, chase women up & down, sell himself, and practically convince women that they should consider dating him. The mindset he has and the frame he projects makes women suspicious. They have to test him more, they have to screen him thoroughly, and they have to qualify him. Women aren’t just falling into his lap, because they get the intuitive sense that he would date anyone that was attractive. He seems to have no real standards beyond the surface, so she needs the guy to convince her. And if he’s has the gift of gab, but lacks the true “abundant female mindset”, she will find out that she’s been with a loser in a couple of months – that he wasn’t real, he just convinced her he was.
So, what men have to do is begin walking away from women that don’t live up to their standards. Not only is this going to make women build themselves up more, but it’s going to cause you to project a frame that says “ I HAVE STANDARDS, AND I WILL NOT DEAL WITH ANY WOMAN WHO DOESN’T LIVE UP TO THEM”. And thats the most attractive thing a man can do. A woman wants to feel chosen, she doesn’t want to feel like you settled for her. They want to feel special, they want to know that you could have dated any woman in this world if you wanted to, but you chose her because she is the one woman that met your standards. She is exactly the one you were looking for. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
So, as men we have to begin to develop standards beyond the surface, if we don’t have them already. Because, if all you require is for a woman to be attractive, thats all she will be. That’s a huge part of what is contributing to the madness we’re looking at on social media today. If she’s pretty enough, she can make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. What is this teaching the younger women? What does this make them feel they have to aspire to? There is a place for money to be made off of beauty, but that can’t be ALL our women are into. A young girl without the proper guidance or role models can instantly view that as her ticket to success. We all know that beauty fades, so when the looks wear off and even younger women replace them, what will we be left with? Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
I think it’s wrong for us men to complain about women when we’re the ones that are not holding them to higher standards. And this goes for women too. If every woman decided today, that they would not sleep with a man that wasn’t an intellectual, every man would be walking around with a book in his hand. That would elevate society immediately. A lot of power is held by the standards on which we base attraction. Women hold that power over men, and men over women. So will complaining about each other change a thing? No. But collectively holding each other to higher standards will. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
And it all starts with each of us as individuals. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
You attract what you think. Think abundantly, speak abundantly, act abundantly, and you will find your life being filled with abundance very shortly. Women have been approaching me for the simple fact that I’ve been letting go of the ones who didn’t live up to my standards. I’m projecting something different. My mindset influences my frame, my frame influences my aura/presence, and these things contribute to what a woman will intuitively pick up from me when I walk into the room. And when they finally see something different, they may just take their shot, just as we men do.
So this is my PSA, if you will. Learn to walk away while there are still options left. It’s easy to walk away when you’ve tried everything else; that’s not abundance. The hard part is walking away when you may still have a chance, but you know that the woman is not up to your standard. The hard part is turning down sex from a woman who you know isn’t up to par. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
But once you begin to do that, the types of women you really want will take notice.
We can’t hide anything in this world. Everything we do, whether in public or in private, will determine what we project from within us. Every action, every word spoken, and every thought is emitted from us.
Emit abundance… Get abundance. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman Eddie Fews
Peace & Love Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
Eddie Fews Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman
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Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?
If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this someone special is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “ someone special ” you’re an idiot.
Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met someone special. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?
The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose, you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.
Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gave you the “hit it and quit” vibe gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.
We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.
Stick to your guns.
If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.) influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.
We have to be stronger than our emotions.
This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.
Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.
Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.
Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.
If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, just hold firm or let her walk if she is incapable of doing so. All women will put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.
Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.
Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.
Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.
There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free?
Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.
Peace & Love
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