The 7 Things All Men Need To Stop Doing

Lying To Women

The isn’t a chronological list that’s in order of ” most important to least important” but this first one is more important than any of the others. The bad reputation that is associated with “players” is directly linked back to the lies players have been known to tell in order to get what they want. No one hates the guy that is sexual active and completely honest about it, but we all hate the guy who lies and tries to hide his reputation. This generation more than any other has become aware of how much owning your truth can affect your life. Take a look at someone like charlamange the god(the most popular urban radio personality), he says controversial things all the time and has a bit of a bad reputation. So what allows him to continue to be successful despite his reputation? What allows people that are more world reknown to love and respect him? The fact that he is always honest when he is confronted with the truth. He’s publicly spoke about his penis size and him taking magnum rx pills to try an enlarge it to no avail; along with many other things. And he remains to be accepted because he isn’t ashamed of his decisions.

The past is the past and there is nothing that can be done to change that. Lying about it only lowers your own self worth and confidence. Every time you lie you take a step down in consciousness, and every time you tell the truth you take a step up. People may not always directly know when you’re lying, but they can feel it. There is always a noticeable shift in the vibe when someone gives into weakness and decides to be dishonest.

I find that quality women make a point to bait us into lying when we first approach them; they ask us a question because they want to see if we’re “real” or not. In that moment, they’ll look us into the eye and wait for our response; checking to see if we pass the “real/fake” challenge. Now if we lie, they’ll lose all attraction for us and we’ll find ourselves in a position where we “can’t think of anything to say”. At that point we have to move on to the next girl; or confess our lie and see what happens.

If you deal with quality women you know exactly what i’m talking about, but even if you don’t, this is a good practice that’ll prepare you for the moments when you are.

Telling People Who They Slept With

This is another big one; who you sleep with is your business and your business alone. What you and your girlfriend do behind closed doors is not something to brag to your boys about. Girls gossip, leave that to them; as players we have to have a bit more integrity. Getting laid is no longer some badge of honor; that’s high school stuff. If you feel the need to talk about it, chances are it doesn’t happen to you often.

And I don’t know about you guys, but when a guy tells me all the wild things he’s been doing with his girl it’s a bit of a challenge to view her the same. Naturally you’ll sexualize them in your mind; and I don’t want that for me or any of my friends. Also, when you’re a guy that keep his business on the low; a lot more women will gravitate to you. They’ll feel like they can trust you and they’ll get a bit wilder in the bed with you than they would with the average Joe. It’s all in the vibe you give off and your character(the things you do when no one is watching) effects your vibe. So give off that ” what we do is our business and no one else’s ” vibe and watch how much more attention you’ll get from women.

i.e. Think about Vegas.. the famous quote ” what happens in Vegas stays in vegas” inspires many women every night to get a little loose.

Bros Before Hoes

I love women just as much as the next guy but a lot of these interactions are temporary. What we have with are boys has usually been in place for sometime and has a higher probability of being in place than things in place with women. Think about it.. how many of your boys from the past are you still cool with? How many of the women from your past can you still rely on? That speaks for itself.

Nothing fustrates a guy more when his buddy chooses a woman over his friends. Because if she’s a real girl, someone you can have a sustainable relationship with, you won’t have to choose.

Don’t leave your boy alone to go get laid, don’t sneak around with women he likes behind his back even if he can’t get with them – unless he gives you the green light. There are billions of other women to choose from so your bros must always always come first. This is the rule; friendships hold a lot more value then pussy does.

Keeping Score

I notice that a lot of guys keep a count of the number of women they sleep with as if that is suppose to mean something. I know a number of guys that have slept with a lot of women but I don’t consider them players. Mainly because they had to lie and manipulate to get what they want. If you have to lie to get laid; the lay is empty and meaningless. That empty feeling will usually follow up behind each new partner.

Players aren’t out there sleeping with women to validate themselves. Players just genuinely love women and/or love having sex with them. The amount doesn’t matter; we’re validated by how thoroughly we serve our purpose, and not by the sexual acts we engage in with others. Don’t count the number and certainly don’t brag about what the number already is. Do things because you enjoy them and not because they make you feel better about yourself.

The Blame Game

I find it odd that men consider themselves leaders when they point fingers at women for the downfall of their relationships. It’s a kings job to successfully lead his kingdom dispite it’s condition. Could you imagine if Barack Obama started pointing fingers at the American citizens for the downfall of the American encomonmy? What kind of leader would he be? Sure some people inherit difficult situations like our current president has; but he still has to do his best to change things or risk being nailed to the cross.

No where in history has the collective group of citizens in nation been blamed for the destruction of their civilization. We hear about Cesar, Napoleon, Alexander the great, Hitler, Stalin etc. They are the ones that take the wrap; not the people that follow. So as a leader in your relationship/group of friends, you are never to blame them for the reason things went left. Accept full responsibility, unless you’re not a leader of course; and if you aren’t a leader, you aren’t a player so this article isn’t for you.

Keeping Quiet

I was in my local market the other day and at the counter was a boy around the age 10. He was speaking to the store clerk about which over the counter pain reliever he should take for his headache. In his hand was a soda and he waited as the clerk reached to hand him a Tylenol. Surprised by the situation I stepped in immediately and spoke to the kid first ” 90% of headaches come from a lack of water in the body, so if you put that soda back and grab a bottle of water you should feel better. “

He went on to what I suggested and as he left I had a quick word with the clerk. ” you know better than that man, that kid is only ten years old”. He knodded to me in shame, I paid for my items and left.

I say this to say; speak up for what’s right. We all fall short; I don’t speak up as much as I should, but it’s important that we fight through our natural resistance and do what’s right. There is a powerful feeling that comes from doing something positive for someone else. You’ll feel better, you raise a level in consciousness, and you will be aiding a fellow human at the same time. Sounds like a win, win, win to me. Everyday we are presented with opportunities to take a stand. So do not hold your tongue, stand up and speak your truth even if it means you’ll be taking a temporary loss. This is what being a true leader is all about.

Tunnel Vision On Pussy

Pussy is great, love is awesome, and women are even better, but there is more to life. The majority of the men that I’ve met that are great with women don’t have much money. Seducting women is their sharpest skill and it tends to be what consumes all of their time. As a result they are left with a lot of sex, but very little cash to live off of. That’s where the women come in and help support them; so it doesn’t fully click that they may have to make money on their own. Players don’t live like this; a true player will not sacrifice a shot at an advancement in their personal life for a shot at a new piece of ass.

Sure if you want to be the best you have to dedicate a lot of you off time to improving, but don’t forget that there is more to life. We all have a purpose and a reason for living; life is about advancing and leaving things behind when we past that can help the next generation. What work are you leaving behind for others? Children to raise? That’s all it will be until you begin to think about chasing things other than women.

A player chases himself first; women will always come second to that.

There are many more of these things that we as players must stop doing, but let’s crawl before we walk. I’ll leave you with this seven for now. Until next time.

Eddie Fews


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

Stop Lying To Women

 

This is one of those articles that is therapeutic for me because not only am I reaching out and teaching our readers but I am teaching and reminding myself of what it is I need to do in my own life. Sit back and enjoy.
I have always enforced being honest about who you are to women; and for most of my life I held true to this value. I could careless about the people who walked out of my life because they couldn’t handle the truth. But this particular time I had run into something a little different.

I had begun doing some personal research with online dating to prepare a online dating workshop and a few articles for way of the player. In this study I had made multiple online dating profiles, all of myself on multiple online dating websites. I used the exact same pictures on each profile; but I would change up the content on the writing portions. On some profiles I presented myself as grad school graduation, others I presented myself as a high school dropout turned entrepreneur , etc.

I would send out the same exact online openers that I developed to attractive and unattractive women all over the dating sites and the results were astonishing – I’ll get more into that on the actual Online Dating article. Long story short, as I was doing my normal routine research I came across this one profile that amazed me. It had nothing to do with the content of the profile in particular; but just the beauty, energy and the presence of the woman in photos. I refused my instant urge to send her one of my “Canned Openers” and sent her the first thing that came into my mind. A couple minutes later and BAM – she wrote back to me with energy and excitement. I responded back to her upping the intensity of the interaction just one notch. She returned my second message with a little more fire power than the first and I knew at this moment the only way to take things a step further would be to get her on the phone. I messaged her on the third message telling her we best get to yapping on the phone while there is this much fuel being thrown into the fire. She complied, I picked up the phone and called right away.

It was like I had known her my entire life the moment we got onto the phone, no awkward silences, no pauses, and no thinking about what I would say next. The conversation just sort of flowed effortlessly, but there was still one little problem; she still didn’t know who I was. I was so enticed by her femininity that I didn’t have the courage to tell her the content on my profile wasn’t the guy that I truly was. I would be risking this new rush and feeling, I’d be risking a potential love. So like a great actor would, I remained in character and became the very guy I detailed in my profile. After an hour on the phone that felt like ten minutes to us, she invited me to her concert on that very night. She warned me that she wouldn’t be able to see me much when I got there because she would be singing and playing instruments until 3:30AM. Although she would get a ten minute break in the middle of the show so I agreed to go because ten minutes was all I needed.
This was one of those “Special” girls, I knew it and I was thrilled.

I arrived at the venue, at around 12:30Am, fitted in my best clothes, and nervous. When I had entered the place, I looked on the stage and saw her singing her heart out; my pupils widened, my heart rate sped up about to about 140 BPM and I instantly felt what many would call love at first site. I wanted to run up on stage, pick her up, spin her around, and kiss her at that moment, but the security guards were looking awfully strong. I could probably take one of them, but the other would certainly roll me into a ball and shoot my into a shot glass. So I waited patiently and enjoyed the show.

40 Minutes later it was time for the 10 minutes interlude and here was my chance to get a one on one with the future superstar. By time I found her she was surrounded by a crowd of people; all praising her work and telling her how amazing of a performer she was. I reached through the crowd, pinched her on her waist, and smiled at her. She slipped out of the huddle and jumped into my arms as if I was her hero, there to save the day. I took her out back for a walk, where I instantly told her that she would be my new girlfriend. She jumped out at the idea with enthusiasm. At that very moment we were together, and we didn’t care who knew and how they felt about us.

We remained together in harmony until just last night; the tension had built up within our relationship. I grew tired of playing this character; I knew that eventually I would have to give it up but I had fell so in love that I became a victim of fear. We sat in my bedroom where I reluctantly revealed to her that I haven’t been the guy she thought I was. I told her about the real me, and she sat there heartbroken. Torn apart that I had led her to believe a lie for as long as I did. She didn’t necessarily care that I wasn’t the guy she thought, she was more hurt over the fact that I lied to her. I felt ashamed and guilty, but I kept my cool, made a few jokes and we talked about the issue at hand like adults.

Before she left I could see in her eyes that she had discovered a new found respect for not only me, but the male species as a whole. Who knows what will become of our relationship now but I’m hella excited to find out. Either way I am certain there will be more of these “special” girls that will enter my life. There have been many in the past and there will be many more in the future. This was just a lesson that needed to be learned at this particular point of my life.

I say all this to say, be honest about who you always. Whoever doesn’t accept you for who you are doesn’t deserve a place in your life. As Bernard Baruch once said “those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter”.

Peace & Love

EddieFews