Should Men Be Allowed A Cheat Day In Relationships?

This one will probably be met with several screw faces from the female supporters, but I’m going to be optimistic and offer a perspective that should speak to a few of you. The few with a mind that is open to at least discussing masculine ideas without becoming angry. The few who’ll find it easiest to get a man to want to commit to them long term in the first place. I’ve found in my personal life that the most attractive and confident women have a spirit of seeking to understand. They may not agree right away, but they don’t go touting their opinion easily. They understand that there is a difference within the psychology of a man and a woman and thus, they seek to understand the males way of thinking to better help them function in a union with one. The majority of these women just so happen to be in functional relationships, but perhaps that’s just a coincidence.

Today it’s very easy for a woman to say, “Well this is what I want and if he doesn’t like it then its on to the next one”, but how long does this mentality survive until you’ve worn yourself out through failed relationship after failed relationship and one finds themselves alone? It is the very “on to the next one” mentality that results in a man not feeling attracted to a woman anyway. I’ve wrote about this before. A man thrives off of feeling needed, so if you’re mentality is “On to the next one, I can do fine without a man, My feelings or the highway etc…” you will produce a vibe that  will subconsciously be a repellent to the opposite sex. He may stick around to enjoy the sex, the affection, and good times, but his eyes will continue to wander to a place in which he can feel that he is “needed”.

Women want to feel “wanted” and men want to feel “needed”. It is a thin line, but there is a difference between the two. Before I get into the topic let me also say that there are always exceptions to every rule. Every time I write something like this I get an email from a woman saying,“ Well I knew this guy that this didn’t apply to”. Of course you do. I’m speaking to the majority. If I wrote an article saying, “Men have ten toes” would you email me saying, “ Well I disagree. I knew someone who had 11 toes?”.

No.

So lets not do that here.

It is also true that men are being emasculated today. We’re dealing with some of the most emotional, not knowing what they want, tipping toeing men of all time. This is happening for several reasons that I will be tackling in my next article,“Why Have Men Become So Effeminate?”. Women are also being a lot more masculine, and consequently we’re dealing with some of the most aggressive, detached, and combative women of all time. So I understand that these two types will be the first to write this content off before they even try comprehend it. But my intent is only to speak to the true nature of masculinity, and not what masculinity has been marginalized into during the 21st century.

Now with that being said, this article is not written to encourage women to give their man a cheat day, its more so written to get women to understand a male’s way of thinking, his nature, and his emotions more than anything. You can do whatever you want with the information after that, but understanding one another should be pivotal. So I’m going to go into several aspects arguing my case, and if you can keep an open mind and put away what YOU think, and your opinions for a moment please continue. If you’re already turning up your nose and waiting to disagree, you can stop here and leave a comment disagreeing as if you read the entire thing and understand what I’m trying to say.

I’ll start by presenting this one fact: ‘A single human male produces enough sperm in two weeks to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.

Would you or would you not agree that a creatures genetic make up has some impact an influence on what that creature does and that creature’s way of thinking? Surely a lion being born with claws and sharp teeth feels compelled to hunt animals for meat. Its teeth and digestive system aren’t made to digest grass, and so it hunts because of its biological make up . This isn’t some social construct. No one has to tell the lion that it’s suppose to hunt other animals. The lion knows instinctively that its job is to hunt because of the cards that it has been dealt. So, what would possessing enough sperm cells to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet every two weeks do to a man on an instinctual level when our bodies naturally  produce hormones that trigger us to want to reproduce? Nothing happens for no reason in nature. It is our hormones and our emotions that trigger our actions.

For example, when a man or woman becomes angry it is because their bodies are producing a chemical called catecholamine, and it is this chemical that triggers the motivation to act out in anger. Its not just a mental thing.  It’s a hormonal cause for the emotion that proceeds before the action. So in that same light, how does a woman only being able to have one child a year influence her instinctual behavior? Her traditional nature would encourage her to find one suitable partner with strong genes so that she could give birth and maintain the population of the planet. Nature didn’t create sex so that we could have pleasure, nature made sex pleasurable so that we would reproduce. If sex were painful our subconscious would instinctively shy us away from the act.

So what does a man and woman’s biological nature tell you about the way that we feel compelled to act instinctively? A man’s nature – producing enough sperm to impregnate every female on the planet; a woman’s nature – only being able to produce one child per year? Which would be the one that would be more concerned with finding a commitment with one person? And before anyone says humans have free will… sure we do, but nature still plays its role. This is why you consistently hear women saying, “All men are the same” and men saying ,“ All women are the same”. Surely we each have our own personality and things that makes us unique, but we all possess the same nature. Just as all lions are the same, and all dolphins are the same. They each have unique attributes, but when you boil them down to their nature they each do the same exact things.

And this brings me to my next point:

When a male and female copulate,hug, kiss or touch, a chemical called oxytocin is produced. Oxytocin is a bonding chemical, and this is what creates the romantic feelings we feel for one another. The body begins to crave the feel good chemical oxytocin and this creates the emotion which is responsible for attachment. The most oxytocin is produce when a woman breast is being sucked on, so if any ladies out there are with a no good man that you can’t seem to get away from; keep the guy away from your breast. This is the same chemical produced when a woman is breast feeding that intensifies the bond and connection between a mother and her child. Now, did you that know oxytocin is produced by both man and woman, but testosterone nullifies oxytocin? And the more testosterone a man has the more difficult it will be for him to be attached to any one person. The chemical responsible for attachments begins to be nullified within him. You don’t just love someone dearly because you love them, you love them because they’ve succeeded at producing a sufficient amount of feel good chemicals in your body that created the attachment. This can’t be forced and/or manufactured. A man can’t just love you the way you love him because you want him to. You have to succeed at producing high enough levels of oxytocin within him that can’t be all nullified because of his testosterone. And the more testosterone he has, the more difficult this will be. Which is why the most alpha males(men with the highest testosterone counts) sleep with the most women and have the most difficult time with commitment. He just doesn’t feel it the way that you do. So a mans ability to want to stick around with you after sex isn’t just based on how soon or how late you have sex with him. It is based on how much oxytocin you’ve succeeded at getting him to produce before, and during the act. You wait too long and see him too infrequently, and he will have produced enough testosterone to get rid of it- and the attachment. Too soon, and there simply just isn’t enough yet.

Now let me just say that it is possible to make a man produce enough oxytocin in one day if you’re skilled, and if things line up with the other factors in play, but that’s another article altogether. I will elaborate more on this in my book for woman on how to successful seduce the man they want, but what I will say is that the less sperm a man is carrying over an extended period of time the less testosterone he will have. So if he has masturbated or had sex several days before meeting you and you’re skilled, he won’t have the testosterone available to nullify the oxytocin. Hence why older men are more willing to enter a commitment because a mans testosterone count lowers as he gets older. This is not something men are aware of. For the most part we’re just on autopilot responding to our nature. So my question is, why must men be held to the same commitment standards as women when we’re not even capable of feeling the same things that women are feeling for us biologically? Should a man born without sight  be forced to pass an eye exam lest he be cast away?

Why is it that the majority of mammals on the planet exist within a system that contains few males and many females? In a cow pen there is one bull, and a bunch of cows. Lion prides contain one lion and several lioness. In a herd of deer there is usually one alpha male deer that is responsible for impregnating 90% of the females in the herd. Even in a chicken coop there is usually one or two roosters( if the coop is big enough) and a bunch of hens and the one rooster is responsible for fertilizing all the eggs. What is that telling us about the nature of male creatures? Perhaps just more coincidences.

Lets dive into commitment from a male point of view:

When a woman meets a confidant alpha male who naturally attracts a lot of women what is the usual dynamic? Typically the Alpha male will not be looking to settle down with any one particular girl in the early years of his life, and so he will be developing  non-exclusive relationships with multiple women. Because the women like him, they will put up with it for a short time before pressuring him to commit to them exclusively over all of the other girls that he’s seeing. He’ll do one of two things: If he likes her he’ll do his best to comfort her and assure her that he does have feelings for her but he’s still not ready. In other words, he hasn’t been worn down enough.  Now if he doesn’t like her, he’ll just cut her off and/or make it clear to her that it’s not going to happen and she’ll walk away or stay until she finds someone willing.

All men who have high levels of success with women have been confronted with this dynamic multiple times. Often from two or three women all at once. We know that we chase women initially to lock in their interest and to win their compliance, and then she chases us after that to maintain our investment in her and to win our commitment. Commitment is almost never actually something that WE as alpha males want. Its something that we give to our women if we value them enough over time. If we had it our way, we would have several women who commit to us that we don’t actually commit to. And this is usually what’s going on. The majority of quality women that I know tell me they don’t feel comfortable sleeping with more than one man at a time. And so they’ll be committing to men in non- committed relationships anyway. This is all just due to their nature if their nature is intact; since a woman  can only carry the child of one man at a time. Men on the other hand are able to create thousands of children a year if we have the availability. And so a man’s natural and biological feelings will be in alignment with what his biological potential is. Because most women don’t feel this desire to their core, they can’t accept the fact that we legitimately do. The majority of quality men I know are all sleeping with multiple women until they find one suitable enough to build something with.

Ask a woman why hasn’t she had sex with a thousand attractive men yet? And she’ll say something like “  That’s gross, or I respect myself and I won’t just sleep with anyone”. Ask a guy why he hasn’t had sex with a thousand women yet and he’ll tell you that he just hasn’t had the time to, or hasn’t found  that amount of attractive women willing to sleep with him.

So if commitment to monogamy is something that we didn’t even want, but we gave to the woman we love as a reward for putting up with enough of our nonsense, should we not be allowed a cheat day as a reward to us for going against our nature by entering a committed relationship once every blue moon?

What women have to understand is that entering a committed relationship is a lot more simple for them. Women are turning down dozens of men every single day that are trying to sleep with them. So once they enter a relationship they don’t have to do anything new. They only have to continue turning down men same way they were doing before entering the commitment. Every day of a man’s life he is trying to get women to sleep with him either directly or indirectly. That’s our life. So once we enter a commitment we have to perform an action that is the complete opposite of the reality that we live every single day. We’re the only ones that have to struggle with taking up a new practice and a new behavior. The women, for the most part, get to remain the same, because after all, the commitment was something that she wanted. So she’s getting something that she wants, that is congruent with her daily behavior anyway. Its like getting paid to brush your teeth, take a shower, and then commute to work. You’ll do it whether you get paid or not, so to get paid for it is a double and unrealistic bonus. Imagine your boss saying “I’ll give you a two hundred dollar bonus on every check if you eat dinner when you get off work.”. Now of course you don’t have to, but you’re likely to do it anyway, so its easy money.

When people go on a diet, they reward themselves with a cheat day because they’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what they were used to every day of there life prior. So in that same light, why shouldn’t men be allowed a cheat day because we’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what we were used to everyday of our life prior? Why can’t our women say “ Wow.. You’ve successfully went against your biological nature and motivation to populate the earth and remained with one woman for a year. Go have a cheat day baby. “  Hell, if a woman would do something as simple as saying, ” Thank you for being faithful” it would make a world of difference in how her man felt about staying strong and honoring the commitment.

The modern day, new age feminist will tell you that monogamy is a social construct, and that is a lie. Monogamy for women is a biological construct. It’s embedded in their nature and their biological potential. Once again, sex wasn’t created for us to have pleasure, pleasure is just the emotional impetus so that we will have sex and procreate. Third wave feminism is atheism. You can’t believe in a higher power and think that our biological natures weren’t created with a purpose. But shout out to all of my feminists. Pardon me. This article isn’t for you.

So I want to wrap this up by reiterating that I am not encouraging women to run and tell their boyfriend “ go have a cheat day”, your feelings should matter as well. But what we’re not going to do is coddle childish emotions that aren’t validated by anything other than more emotion, and make decisions based off of that. The discussion can be had, perhaps your man is over that stage of his life, perhaps his T count isn’t where it used to be, and he’s had his fun already. I just think that we should all strive to understand one another a lot more.

In the eleventh chapter of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said “ The woman who understand a man’s nature and tactfully caters to it, need have no fear of competition from other women. Men may be “giants” with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice.” And I completely agree with this statement. Its easy to say “only an insecure woman would go for something like this” and while an insecure woman may go for this out of necessity, a woman with the ultimate confidence may be willing to allow it because she understands.

I always tell women that men rule on the front end, we are the conscious mind and women are the subconscious mind. The subconscious is responsible for 80% of our thoughts and activity, but the thing is, the conscious mind doesn’t even know the subconscious mind is operating. A woman that understands her man and seeks to provide him with what he needs will rule her man. And the beauty of it all is, he won’t even have the slightest idea of whats going on. The insecure woman is controlled by her man, because she is trying to control him on the front end. The conscious end. Leave that to him, let him think he’s ruling.  He will feel a lot more comfortable with opening up and revealing his true feelings to you that way. The truly confident woman allows her man to have that 20% front end; the small battle, because she knows that ultimately she is ruling from behind the scenes; responsible for 80% of his activity. The women that get a thorough grasp on this, will never be short on a man that’s willing to commit to her and give her his everything.

For anyone further interested in an example of this topic you can check out this couple from Brooklyn, New York who have allowed two additional women into the relationship and are sharing one man between them three. The man and his first wife have been together for 17 years, the two other women have been with him and his wife for 11 years. How many of you have been with one person consistently for 5 years? And i’m not talking about breaking up and getting back together years later. I’m talking about a strong consistent five years. They’re all attractive women who could easily have a man to themselves if they truly wanted to. The women don’t sleep with each other, they don’t do threesomes, and there is not a sign of low self esteem insight. You can check that out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XaRjpjdui8

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

Dear Femininity, Men Want You Back

My last article was on the subject of men and women holding each other to higher standards, so we can each begin to improve the quality of ourselves, each other, and the quality of mates we’re attracting into our lives.

I had received a great deal of emails from women thanking me for giving them hope, saying things like “Thank you, I now know that it’s okay not to settle for less than what I deserve”. And while I agree with them, I can’t help but notice a common theme amongst the women of the 21st century.

You ready for it?

I find that many women lack the feminine version of the qualities that they desire in a man; and also, their desire to be liked for the same reasons that they like a man. The high-majority of women who I speak with day to day, are completely out of touch with what it is that attract men, and what it is that men desire. And so they are continually frustrated, because we as men are not attracted to them for the same reasons that they are attracted to us.

For example:

I meet a lot of these successful independent women who say things like “I have my Master’s degree, I make over $100,000 dollars a year, I can fend for myself, why can’t I find a decent man?” And what these women don’t realize is that men are not biologically programmed to look at a woman for what she can provide. So the amount of money a woman makes a year means absolutely nothing to the biological reasons that men find women attractive. I would even go so far as to say that any man who is looking to a woman for what she can provide isn’t a man. That’s not how “men” are wired. Women are biologically programmed to look at a man for what he can provide, the same way they look toward a man biologically as a figure of protection. Real men (in my dame dash voice) do not operate this way. A man should not look for his woman to protect him. Imagine a man saying to a group of his friends “Yo… I love my girl man. Last night she killed a big ass spider for me. I was scared as shit. I screamed and she just jumped up and killed it. She’s dope“.

Ladies… what would you do if there was an intruder in the home and your man hid underneath the bed and asked you if you could go out and deal with it? You would probably lose every nanobyte of respect and attraction for that man. Why does that happen? Because biologically you are wired to look to a man as a figure of strength who could protect you if he could.

Ever go on a date with a man who just doesn’t make you feel “safe”? Were you attracted to that man? Of course not.

So why is it that women get into this habit of expecting us to like them for the same reasons that they like us?

I’ll have a woman say something like “Eddie… I love you” and I will genuinely say “thank you” in appreciation that she has expressed herself to me in such a way, and do you know what she’ll say?  “Why didn’t you say that you loved me too?” I’ll say “Why do you love me?” She’ll usually say something like “because you’re so funny, wise, and insightful”. I’ll respond genuinely “So why should I love you ‘too’ because I’m funny, wise and insightful? You saying that you love me right now is predicated upon how you feel in this moment. Why do you expect me to love you in this moment the same way you love me, when you’re not doing the same things I am doing in this moment to be loved?”

The problem is, many women I speak with have completely lost touch with what it is that men want and find attractive. With all of the studying they do on men, they still somehow can’t wrap their head around this concept.

So I wrote this piece as a call to women to begin checking whether or not they are the feminine version of that which a man is looking for.

If I make a $100,000 a year and you make $100,000 a year, and one of the reasons you “like me” is because I do decent financially, and I would be able to provide for you if I had too, that doesn’t mean that I am suppose to like you equally for making the hundred thousand dollars.

I say this because, I am not programmed biologically to like you for your ability to provide. We are not equal in terms of attraction in that regard. My $100,000 means something to you biologically – something to the core of your nature. But, your $100,000 means absolutely nothing to me biologically – nothing to the core of my nature. Financial security has nothing to do with the core reasons that I feel attraction for a woman.

A man will approach the girl coming out of McDonalds, with the same type of intensity and desire as the woman walking down Wall Street. If she possesses and has developed/cultivated the qualities that attract him biologically, the money that she makes doesn’t mean a thing.

I want to repeat this again… Any man who feels attraction for you because of how well you do financially is NOT a man. And you will find yourself not attracted to him, and at constant war with him after the honeymoon phase.  The man that you want, if you are in tune with your femininity, is the man that will hold you to the standards of what attracts him biologically.

So I agree that a woman should hold the men to the standard of being able to provide if necessary, and a man should hold women to the standard of being that which he finds attractive – which I’ll get into in a second.

This is not some outdated way of thinking… this is our nature. This is what has allowed us to function for thousands of years in harmony. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the world is currently being destroyed at alarming rates, and the natural fabric of how a man and woman function naturally together is also being destroyed. I believe these extremely high divorce rates, lack of couples getting married, and just unhappy relationships in general, are all a product of this confusion. And each gender is pointing the finger at the other without us realizing what the problem actually is. We are being socially conditioned away from out nature and it is destroying the reasons that we come together.

I now ask the reader… “How many people do you know that you can legit say are in a healthy and happy relationship?”

It’s gotten so bad that break up and divorces have become the norm. We almost expect it now. How often do you expect your guy and girl friends’ boyfriend/girlfriends to stay together? I find many people counting the seconds until it’s over. I know that when I was in high school and the girl I crushed on got into a relationship, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got my shot.

So what is it that men want? Now just as being able to “provide” and being able to “protect” is just two of the many aspects that women are naturally programmed to look for in a man, I will provide two of the many aspects that men are programmed to look for in a woman. For more aspects feel free to send me an email and I can speak with you on this.

1. The Visual – Most women have a difficult time wrapping their heads around this because they believe that they are visual too. And they’re not. At least not in the way that men are visual. For an example of the difference you can watch the videos below:

The Men: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8

The Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUy3_kBme4M

The videos show the difference in the male versus the female reaction to being catfished. In the first video men speak with a woman on tinder who’s, fit and slender, but when she appears on the date she is about 100 pounds heavier than she was in the photo. The same thing happens in the second video; but this time its women meeting up with a guy they thought was in shape, but turns out to be 100 pounds heavier than his photo.

In this video, the women are all a lot more open to giving the overweight “deceiver” a chance than the men are to giving the overweight deceiving woman a chance. The men in the video are practically incapable of functioning. They just can’t handle or look beyond the visual. They ask no further questions, they’re completely uncomfortable and can see nothing else. The women on the other hand are open to see who this guy is, why he may have lied, and if he is someone they can at least be friends with. Someone they can possibly encourage or help. The men… well they took off running.

Now why do you think this is? If you read the comments on the video you will see that a lot of women were offended that the men didn’t respond in the fashion in which they would have responded. Which completely breaks down the reason why I am writing this piece. Men are not attracted to and/or open to women for the same reasons that women are attracted to and/or open to men. 

Let’s take Cleopatra for example: it is said that the key to Cleopatra’s consistent ability to seduce some of the most powerful men in the world in that time, is because of her understanding of the male visual. She would completely seduce and dazzle the men of that time with the visual; Robert Greens “The Art of Seduction” even quotes:

“Only one image of Cleopatra survives – A barley visible profile on a coin, but we have numerous written descriptions. She had a long thin face and a somewhat pointed nose; her dominate features were her wonderfully large eyes. Her seductive power however, did not lie in her looks – indeed many among the women of Alexandria were considerately more beautiful than she. What she did have above all women was the ability to distract a man. In reality, Cleopatra was physically unexceptional and had no political power, yet both Caesar and Mark Anthony, brave and clever men saw none of this. What they saw was a woman who constantly transformed herself before their eyes, a one-woman spectacle. Her dress and make up changed from day to day, but always gave her a heightened goddess like appearance […] by the time your head lay on the pillow beside her, your mind was spinning with images and dreams […] you never possessed Cleopatra, you worshiped her […] From Cleopatra we learn that it is not beauty that makes a seductress/siren, but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man’s fantasies […] A man is easily deceived by appearances ; he has weakness for the visual. Create the physical presence of a siren (heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner) and he is trapped. He cannot grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you. Keep up the distractions and never let him see who you really are. He will follow you until he drowns. “

Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar are both men that could have had access to the most attractive women of all kinds and creeds across the entire planet. But it was Cleopatra, “A woman that had been exiled from Egypt” with the understanding of the male visual that gave her access to the most powerful men the world had to offer. These men even neglected their responsibility and duties within their own country to remain with her in Egypt. Mark Anthony had even known all about how she had seduced Caesar and brought down his kingdom and he still found himself unable to resist her. Think about that… (I’d encourage any woman further interested in this topic to look up the book “The Art of Seduction” and the chapter titled “The Siren” which is the first chapter of the book)

2. The Desire to Feel Powerful – I spoke about this in my Go Pro radio interview  a bit more extensively, but to paraphrase… All men have this innate desire to feel as if they are kings of the earth. To Feel Powerful. The more testosterone the male has, the stronger his desire for this. It is what drives a man to want the most attractive woman to parade around and show off, and it is what drives him to want to make the most money. It is a symbol to other men that he is the most dominant and powerful one of them all. All masculine mammals in nature have this battle. There is always one male that has to rise to be the Alpha male of the group. It is even said that in some species of male animals just 5% of the males produce 95% of the children of that species. Imagine if humans were like that? Well… I can’t say that we’re that much different. I’ve heard that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. There is a masculine desire within each of us to want to dominate and conquer as much as we can. Testosterone even works as an agent to nullify oxytocin which will prevent a man from developing a chemical/emotional bond with the women he has sex with. This is why men can be so detached after sex – especially around a woman whose only way to make a man feel powerful was through the opening of her legs. Once he’s conquered what far too many women hold onto as if it’s some golden ticket that no one else has but them, he will be off to the next conquest. Unless however, a woman comes to terms with the principles that will keep the guy around.

I’ve found that far too many women remain quiet. A man wants to know when he is and how he is affecting you. He needs you to express yourself without the fear that he may or may not be feeling the same.

A woman will text a guy something like “Do you miss me? “ – Which really means she misses him, but she’s not comfortable saying so unless she is sure he feels the same. This is anti-seductive; had she had the self-esteem and confidence to be transparent and just say something like “I miss you. You make me feel so tingly on the inside, I don’t know what to do” she would be sub-communicating to the man that he is powerful. He has the ability to make her miss him and feel tingly.

One of the main reasons why a man likes to have sex is not because of the fifteen second orgasm that he gets when it’s over. It is the moaning, the groaning, and the scratching from his woman that he desires, because that is a sign to him that he is powerful. Having the ability to make a woman moan, groan, and scratch. This is why you can search the internet and find men obsessed over how to please their woman. It is not just to make a woman orgasm, but so that the man himself can feel powerful – knowing he has the ability to give pleasure.

So on the equal level of the visual I find this to be almost of a greater importance. The wives of some of today’s most powerful men on earth are not that physically attractive, but I’m almost certain that they have the ability to make their man feel powerful; and it is probably this ability that inspired the man to have the confidence to take his current position.

Be open, be transparent, and outwardly express how great his ability to affect you is, and the man will crave the words that leave your mouth to no end.

So to wrap this up… I just want the female readers to make sure that they are not trying to be the exact representation of that which they look for in a man. Rather they be the feminine representation of the qualities that men seek from them. If you want a man that makes 25 million dollars a year, just make sure you have a 25 million dollar ability to stimulate him through your visual (not just physical feature) and a 25 million dollar ability to give him dramatic and transparent presentations of what you feel his power to be. Just because a woman is making 25 million, doesn’t mean that she qualifies to get a man that makes 25 million. Because once again, he is not looking at your ability to provide to determine how attracted to you he is. If you want to make lots of money that’s great, but understand that your high level of education and the amount of money you make a year, means little to nothing to a real man’s (one that will make you happy) desire to want you for anything more than just sex.

The society of today has put too much emphasis on masculinity. It’s the only thing highlighted; so much so that many of the women today are being imitations of masculinity. No one talks about the innate power of a woman. It’s almost as if to be a woman is something you should be ashamed of. If we’re going to go forward as a society, I think it’s important that we begin to highlight both the power of a woman and exactly what that power is so that little girls can desire to be that which is closest to their nature.

It is through a great woman’s visual, energetic and transparent verbal stimulation that a man is inspired to rise to the height of his potential. Which is why the statement “Behind every great man, is a great woman” is something I whole heartily agree with. We need each other, and we need you to join us, and not compete with us so that we can live in harmony. How many of our great leaders were without a woman? Women are the divine energy. They are the inspiration for all creation on this planet. Men just take the energy that they give us and put it into practice. But it is the woman who gives birth to the energy to begin with. She conceives it, she gives it life, – the man raises it, and creates the physical manifestation of it. We are to come together as a team, each with our own role to become ONE complete body together. We aren’t meant to compete with one another the way we are today.

Men do not have the ability to conceive and inspire through the creation of energy. We create with the energy, we are not the creators of the energy.  So if women start doing what they have the power to do and discontinue being imitations of masculinity, our society and generation can rise to its greatest heights once again. And it is the responsibility of us as men to be strong enough to bring this to their attention. Far too many men are willing to just roll over and get fucked by the direction of society. What happened to our warriors? What happened to our voices? What happened to our leaders? I will be addressing us as men more advertently in my next piece.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

I’ve always believed in and written about the concept of  having an abundant mentality, but not until recent did I wrap my head around the concept in a way that I had never before. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

For one reason or another I’ve been getting approached by women more than I ever have in my life. Women have been approaching me indirectly and asking me questions to some of the most obvious questions. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman Eddie Fews
“Hey, excuse me do you have the time?” – While their phone is in their hand.

“Do you know how to get to “ 34th Street” – while we’re on 34th Street.

Right after I’d tell them, they’d always seem to linger around for about 5-7 seconds, waiting on me to continue the conversation. Now, while I normally engage with women I approach, I’ve been a bit thrown off by the gesture and, as a result, I’ve just stood there wondering if there was anything else they wanted to ask me before they nervously and reluctantly said “well okay…thanks” and walked away. Eddie Fews

Women have been behaving more like men toward me, and I realized that it was happening right around the time I started to think like a woman.

You see, a highly attractive woman has the ultimate abundance mentality. Guys are cat calling them, approaching them, and writing to them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter hundreds of times a day. As a result, they have no problem taking a break from the madness. They don’t mind putting their phone on silent or airplane mode and leaving it out of reach for a couple hours. They’ll cut a guy off that they were once into. They’ll even block certain guys on social media and on their phones so the guys can’t contact them if they wanted to. They’ll reject a quality guy, they’ll say no to “sex”, and they’ll walk away from a guy completely because they understand (and experience) that there will always be another attractive male trying to be in their life; there will always be another attractive male trying to sleep with them. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

That’s the difference between the mindset of guys who aren’t successful with women and the mindset of attractive women and men who are. The average joe won’t turn his phone on airplane mode, because he’s too afraid of missing out on an opportunity with a girl he likes. He won’t block a girl from contacting him – that he likes – even if she disrespects him, because he doesn’t want to miss out, if she decides to contact him. He won’t walk away from a girl he becomes somewhat emotionally attached to without trying everything he can first, because in his life, high quality women don’t come around often. He will never reject sex, if a woman throws it at him, and he will never turn down an attractive women that tries to come on to him. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

Now, what the average guy doesn’t realize is, because he “thinks” this way, because he tries to milk the most out every single opportunity with every attractive women that comes his way, he is developing a mindset that becomes a mild repellant to women. Consequently, he has to work a lot harder, chase women up & down, sell himself, and practically convince women that they should consider dating him. The mindset he has and the frame he projects makes women suspicious. They have to test him more, they have to screen him thoroughly, and they have to qualify him. Women aren’t just falling into his lap, because they get the intuitive sense that he would date anyone that was attractive. He seems to have no real standards beyond the surface, so she needs the guy to convince her. And if he’s has the gift of gab, but lacks the true “abundant female mindset”, she will find out that she’s been with a loser in a couple of months – that he wasn’t real, he just convinced her he was.

So, what men have to do is begin walking away from women that don’t live up to their standards. Not only is this going to make women build themselves up more, but it’s going to cause you to project a frame that says “ I HAVE STANDARDS, AND I WILL NOT DEAL WITH ANY WOMAN WHO DOESN’T LIVE UP TO THEM”. And thats the most attractive thing a man can do. A woman wants to feel chosen, she doesn’t want to feel like you settled for her. They want to feel special, they want to know that you could have dated any woman in this world if you wanted to, but you chose her because she is the one woman that met your standards. She is exactly the one you were looking for. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

So, as men we have to begin to develop standards beyond the surface, if we don’t have them already. Because, if all you require is for a woman to be attractive, thats all she will be. That’s a huge part of what is contributing to the madness we’re looking at on social media today. If she’s pretty enough, she can make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. What is this teaching the younger women? What does this make them feel they have to aspire to? There is a place for money to be made off of beauty, but that can’t be ALL our women are into. A young girl without the proper guidance or role models can instantly view that as her ticket to success. We all know that beauty fades, so when the looks wear off and even younger women replace them, what will we be left with?  Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

I think it’s wrong for us men to complain about women when we’re the ones that are not holding them to higher standards. And this goes for women too. If every woman decided today, that they would not sleep with a man that wasn’t an intellectual, every man would be walking around with a book in his hand. That would elevate society immediately. A lot of power is held by the standards on which we base attraction. Women hold that power over men, and men over women. So will complaining about each other change a thing? No. But collectively holding each other to higher standards will. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

And it all starts with each of us as individuals. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

You attract what you think. Think abundantly, speak abundantly, act abundantly, and you will find your life being filled with abundance very shortly. Women have been approaching me for the simple fact that I’ve been letting go of the ones who didn’t live up to my standards. I’m projecting something different. My mindset influences my frame, my frame influences my aura/presence, and these things contribute to what a woman will intuitively pick up from me when I walk into the room. And when they finally see something different, they may just take their shot, just as we men do.

So this is my PSA, if you will. Learn to walk away while there are still options left. It’s easy to walk away when you’ve tried everything else; that’s not abundance. The hard part is walking away when you may still have a chance, but you know that the woman is not up to your standard. The hard part is turning down sex from a woman who you know isn’t up to par. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

But once you begin to do that, the types of women you really want will take notice.

We can’t hide anything in this world. Everything we do, whether in public or in private, will determine what we project from within us. Every action, every word spoken, and every thought is emitted from us.

Emit abundance… Get abundance. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman Eddie Fews

Peace & Love Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

Eddie Fews Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman


Grab my ebook The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom by clicking here.

For coaching, consultations and all other inquiries email: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com

How To Not Be Desperate

I’ll be turning more of the advice I give into articles –  it’s a lot of information that can be helpful to more than just the person in the emails I give it to. This is from a guy that asked me about a remedy for his desperation.

Hey Eddie,

Are there any books, videos, guides etc. that can help me start the long journey of destroying being desperate etc.

I think subconsciously I give it off to girls (even though I am very aware of it and actively think about it with every move I take with girls)

I know no book or video can 100% help you…but it’s a start and I am sure there are deeper issues at stake here.

Any advice would be greatly helpful.

Thanks

Being desperate doesn’t take place in action; desperation is all a reflection of the vibe you are giving off to a woman. The energy you are sub-communicating, and if you’re consciously thinking about every move thats another clear sign of desperation. There is no need to impress with anything other than the audacity and boldness you had to approach the women the way you did and begin conversation. I’ve never been into doing magic tricks and bending over backwards to get a girl to like me. I’m not a performer, I’m an attractive male offering emotional and attractive conversation. Take it – go on this emotional journey with me, or leave it and resume the life you were living before me.

The root of my audacity is the fact that to the core of my being I believe I possess something that everyone needs in their lives. Every woman and every man. I have the ability to transform the life of anyone that crosses my path, and its possible that maybe I don’t, but I believe that I do and thats what makes me attractive.

Your desperation is all a result of the core beliefs you have about yourself. How worthy you feel your contribution to social interactions to be. A man thats feels talentless and worthless will never get out there and make any impact on the world because to his core he doesn’t believe that he has anything to offer the world. And a man that believes he is of low value and women don’t NEED him in their lives will not have much drive to get out there and approach any of them.

Even this post here.. You asked for videos and books, but I believe that I could write you a post an completely change your outlook on how you feel about desperation – which can trigger a drive to make a change. Will it change your life? Maybe. Maybe not?  But I believe I have the ability to, and thats whats driving me to jock away at this keyboard.

Desperation is all a mindset. And the way you change a mindset is to fill it with new information that is the opposite of the current state that it is in. For example: What do you look up on search engines? A needy desperate guy searches, ” Why do women think I’m so desperate? ” – And what he will get in return is a bunch of information to back up and reinforce the reason he is viewed as desperate. An attractive man or a man that wants to be attractive thinks and searches ” Guide to being completely awesome and having a life of abundance ” – And he will run into information that will back that statement. So long as you search what you are and ask questions about what you are you will stay that way. You want to change? Begin asking questions about that which you want to be. That’ll help you get there.

Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits become our destiny.

You thought yourself into your situation and you can think yourself out of it. Put energy and thought into your change, the more you put in the more you get out. Saying to yourself in the mirror ” I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this universe” a thousand times isn’t half as affective as taking a paper and writing it down it thousand times. Change isn’t going to come over night nor will it come from reading all day. Take active steps in making a change in your life. You must DO something.

Its like getting in shape.. If you want to get a 6 pack you have to exercise, eat right, drink water etc. consistently for 3-6 months to get one. And depending on your physical shape when you started, it maybe longer than that. So you have to ask yourself what is your emotional condition. Are you 300 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Or are you 180 pounds emotionally trying to get down to 150. Your emotional weight will impact the length of time you will have to actively contribute to your change ( Thinking new thoughts, reading new information, writing it on paper, saying it in the mirror, praying about it, meditating on it, etc. etc.)

Work for the change you want and understand that it’s possible that it may take a few years for you to get there. This is the microwave age, but no sustaining change comes without dedication and consistency.

Where Do I Start ?

For and foremost let me say I think its important for each man to divulge into his own creativity to come up with physical, mental, and spiritual exercises that he can do to improve his condition based off of the material I wrote above.  The more of YOU the task that you apply to improve your condition the more focused the energy being applied to situation; causing a faster and stronger improvement.
But here are a few examples..
  1. As Stated Above, Grab a pencil and a notebook and spend a hour or more (The more you put in the greater the transition) writing down “ I am fun, loving and attractive. “ – “ I possess a grand sense of humor and a irresistible charm. “ “ I Love women and women love me” – “ I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to this planet.
Spend hours writing the above. Start with an hour a day. Treat it like a Job and get it done habitually. Your friends want to play videos? You stay home unless you’ve done your hour. This has to be more important to you than leisure if it is actually want you want.
Look yourself in the mirror and say the above, over and over. Tell yourself you’re the most attractive man on earth. Say it over and over it until you believe your new truth.
Meditate on the statements above, sit still close your eyes and repeat the phrases like those over and over again for 20 minutes.
This all becomes apart of the collective energy you are contributing into your change and you reap what you so. And most importantly, create your own statements, create your own affirmations. Don’t depend on my thinking process, dig down deep within yourself and pull out quotes from the man that you’re on your journey to be.
Get creative, because it will get boring, but in 6 months – 2 years (depending on where you are) it will all be worth it.
Own Your Destiny.

Get The Player Handbook & The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom now by clicking Here and Here.

For Personal Consultation via Skype Phone & IM – For one on one coaching email me at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com 

5 Quick Tips For A Great First Date

This is a response to the emailer John11236, who asked me for a couple quick tips to ensure that he had a more successful first date while out a coffee this evening. Check out these 5 quick tips.

Tip #1 – If you’ve spoken to her enough to know something small that she likes, under $5 bucks, pick it up on the way tot he date  and wait for the proper moment to reveal it and give it to her.

For example: On my first date with a girl I was talking to in the past, she had texted me an hour before the date ” I’m so excited for our first date. This is a date right? :) – To which I responded something like ” Nope. Its our one year anniversary. We’re going to grab some drinks an celebrate. ” she’s like ” haha okay, see you there”

So on the way, I stopped by a stationary store and picked up a “Happy Anniversary card” – I didn’t write anything in it, but it was a small comical gift and she melted when I gave it to her. (later on in the night she revealed that had baked me some fresh cookies and pulled them out in wrapped ‘happy anniversary’ paper, but thats a story within itself…)

Second example: A woman would tell me how much she loves chocolate chip cookies. So i’d stop by a bakery on my way to meet her and pick up a chocolate chip cookie for her.

And its also very important WHEN you give the gift. Just chill and wait for the moment. This tip can also only be applied if you take the time out to have a conversation with the girl before going out with her. Something I would suggest that all men do. If you can’t last at least thirty minutes on the phone with a woman, then how do you expect to have a steady flow of conversation while on a date. Too many men are trying to rush to waste time on a date with someone they could find out they aren’t compatible with after five minutes on the phone – or video chat.  The technology is here, lets respect our time and use it to our advantage.

Tip #2 – If you feel like conversation is getting stale and/boring instantly suggest that you guys take your coffee and tea in hand and go for a walk. The association with boredom and staleness is tied to everything in that room at that point. A new scenery will almost be wiping the slate clean; opening up new avenues for conversation. I’ve even seen this work inside of my home. If a girl starts to get closed off at the thought of me making advancements, I’d suggest we move to another room in the house. The prior rejections on my escalation are almost forgotten about at that point. Its almost as if it didn’t happen. For whatever reason all the negativity was tied into everything within the room that it was taking place in.

I could go deeper and say that the term en-TRANCE, would suggest that the entering of every new room puts one under a new trance, but thats another topic for another time lol.

Tip #3 – How you start is usually how you finish. So you want to make sure that the initial HELLO is warm, lively and bright. Thats what will initially get the ball rolling. Its always good to get off to a great first start if you can help it. Its like a little snow ball being pushed down a hill. It begins to pick up steam the further and further it gets down the hill. And the bigger it gets, the more force and energy it will take to stop it and push it in the opposite direction. And that goes for a negative start or a positive start. Start off good, and it’ll be tough to stop the ball from rolling in a good way; start off bad and the same happens.

Tip #4 – Physical contact is very important.. Ask to see her hands, hold them in your hands, so you can look at her lines. I’m not expert at palm reading nor do I pretend to be on dates, but its a great way to introduce physical contact. Women love finding out new things about themselves, so even if a date is going bad, she will be open to letting you see her hands at the thought of learning something new about herself. You can even see this at how often women read their horoscopes and take those internet personality test.

Also, the sooner you break the touch barrier the better. Hand holding is an instant signal of romance. When you see two people holding hands its an instant indicator that they are together. Whether that be two girls, two guys, or a guy and a girl. So holding her hand to look at the inside of the palm is still in some way connected to romantic hand holding. The same action and amount of effort is needed to do both.

The top deep line is the love line. And they say that the further this lines curves up to the middle finger, the deeper a persons capacity to love. Look it up if you need to for accuracy, but what’s most important is that you have fun with it. Too much reality can ruin the ‘fantasy’.

Tip #5 – When all else fails, if the conversation just isn’t flowing like you want it to I’m going to give you a quick cold reading technique thats simple and easy to remember. This will at least buy you 5-10 mins to get it together while also honoring part of tip 4 by allowing you to teach her something new. She’ll subconsciously connect you with this new found realization about herself.

You can introduce it as ” Hey lets play this game, it’ll teach you somethings about yourself and allow me to get to know you better. ”

4 Questions and Four Simple Interpretations – Wait until the end to reveal what they mean.

1) You’re in an all white room without windows or doors, give me three separate adjectives to describe how you would feel? ( Most will say: Alone, Scared, Afraid)

2) Whats Your Favorite Color? And three separate adjectives to describe it? (Blue: Calm, Beautiful, Pure)

3) Whats Your Favorite Animal? And three separate adjectives to describe it (Cat: Sexy, Independent, Fun)

4) You’re before and ocean shore, whats the first thing you do? ( Take off my clothes and dive right in)

The first question is a reflection of how you see death..

The second question is a reflection of how you see yourself.. As being.. calm, beautiful, pure.

The third question is a reflection of how others see you.. As being sexy, independent, and fun

And the third is how you go about sex..

Depending on how elaborate her answer is for number four, you can get really in depth about your interpretation. Just make it up and have fun with it.

Apply those 5 quick tips and you’ll be on your way to having a great first date.

Eddie Fews


To book 1 on 1 Dating and Social Developing consultations email me at EddieFews@WayofThePlayer.com

For a copy of my second ebook ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ – Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

Social Changes To Improve Social Success

I watched an interview not too long ago where I was reminded of a time when I was recently confronted with energy from a social situations negative affect on my level of productivity. If you own a copy , The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom you would have read the law on the numbing of our everyday senses. This is especially true in large cities such as my own (New York City). We as people are constantly being bombarded with information, bright lights, foul smells, loud noises, etc. that are so unnatural to humanity that they are slowly but surely destroying our capacity to FEEL. The numbing happens so gradually that one cannot fathom what is even going on, unless they “resensitize” themselves to their environment. Anyone that has ever gained or lost weight can tell you that without photos of themselves or the changing number on the scale they could not notice the difference between their body when they were just 10-15 pounds lighter or heavier. That is largely due to the fact that we are with ourselves and looking at ourselves daily. It’s a challenging thing to follow, besides the majority of our perception of our external is due to the emotional state of our internal. Ever feel really great in an outfit one day and then feel shitty in it just a couple weeks later? The outfit didn’t change and neither did our bodies, the only difference now is the mindset.

So, as I have been resensitizing, I had been able to pick the influence subtle energies had been having over how I’ve been feeling throughout my everyday life.

Just recently I decided to begin a new routine where I would begin taking my work out of the home to great cafes in affluent parts of New York City. While working from home I would often find myself working from the bed, falling asleep every other hour and getting ‘ just enough to get by’ amounts of work done. While working in areas surrounded by other workers I became influenced by the collective energy of productivity. I had yet to develop a work space in my home and considering my neighborhood, the energy that radiated throughout my building/neighborhood was not exactly one of wealth builders and productive personal. So I purchased my monthly metro card and vowed to head outside of the house a minimum of 5 days a week to the best neighborhoods New York have to offer.

When I first made the decision, I was very much excited. The simple thought of a new routine that would bring a higher level of wealth and positive energy into my life had my mind racing with new ideas and personal goals. I jumped up, got dressed, threw a good unread book and my Macbook into my business bag and ran for the door. When I got to the front of my building I was confronted by a well-known lethargic resident with a zest for conversation about sports and rap music. A mid-forties man with a good heart who had never really accomplished much; nor did he ever appear to have a desire to. He is content where he is and that is fine for anyone who wants to live this way. I’ve always considered him an acquaintance and whenever he would see me he couldn’t wait to stop me to discuss the latest hip-hop and sports news and this time was no different.

As I exited the front door he delightfully called out “Yo man… did you see any new rap battles lately!?”, I respond politely, trying my best to hold onto all of the new ideas I came up with just before leaving the house “Nah not yet… what’s a good one to watch?”. We go back and forth a bit and before you knew it I was sucked in! Ten minutes had passed and I was still here talking about things that weren’t going to get me anywhere. At around the fifteenth minute I had begun to feel like going back up stairs and taking a nap. I honestly had forgotten all of the ideas and all of the passion that I once had to tackle my new routine, had dissipated all at once. At this moment I realized that I had begun to share energy with the fellow that I was speaking with. Some of my passion had naturally diffused into him and some of his lethargy had naturally diffused into me energetically.

It’s no surprise that we hear statements like “He’s a product of his environment” and “A man is a combination of the five people he spends the most of his time around”. It’s all the subtle distribution of energies going from one person into the other and so on. And as soon as I had this realization I instantly looked at my “former” neighborhood acquaintance and said “Hey man… I gotta go”. I hauled off still feeling unmotivated and lethargic, but just an hour afterward my ideas and passion had begun to return. I was back with a vision and a new perspective on social interactions.

We as people must understand that we are not just what we eat, but we are what we consume through all of our senses. Every sense is collecting information for the brain and thus telling it how to respond to its environment. Just as the eyes adjust to allow more light in so one can see in a dark room, the mind and energetic vibrations of our bodies adjust to the people we share energy with. The body is made to adapt to its environment, whether for the better or for the worst.

The music we listen to is a part of our diets. The noises from the environment around us is a part of our diets. A man living in a home in which there is much debate and quarrel is consuming the energy from the quarrel from the ears without even knowing. These things all influence the direction of the mind. These are a part of our ear’s diet.

The programs we watch, the books we read, the posters, and signs on our walls are a part of our eye’s diet. The neighborhoods, the quality of light, the cleanliness etc.  This is why I recommend solar gazing to all who are capable. Staring into the sun has many benefits, but one of the main benefits is its direct source of food for the eyes; and the eyes are closest to our brains. Its brain food; light into the eyes shining directly into the brain.

The food we taste, the drinks we drink all are a part of our mouth and body’s diets. The stomach creates blood from the foods we consume – blood cell create tissues, and tissues come together to make and repair organs. Not to mention our blood is the body fluid that is directly connected to our spirits. Poor blood, because of poor food consumption will result in a poor connection with the spirit.

The comfort around us, the quality of the materials that are on our skin; the plushness of our beds all tell the body whether it should remain in that section or not. When in a cold environment the brain sends signals to the body to seek warmth, and when in a plush environment the brain sends signals to the body to remain present. This is why many have trouble getting out of their ultra comfortable beds in the morning. The body seeks pleasure and comfort and when those things are present, so does the innate motivation to do anything. The bodies being told that it’s in good space.

The smells we take in are all a part of the diet of our noses. Ever walk into a smelly room and are initially disgusted by it until your body is sent the signal from your brain that this is natural and so you smell the smell no more? You have adapted to the smell of the room; the brain has sought to deliver you “comfort” in your current environment. And if the brain is told to seek comfort in the presence of foul smells, it will begin to wire itself to seek this whenever you are away from that which it has taught itself to adapt to. This will have a subtle influence on how the mind is wired to seek “needed”.

And once again, these things all happen so gradually and slowly that it is challenge to notice that any change is taking place. This is why it is important that we resensitize so we can know how we’re being influenced by our external environments. We’ll reengineer our ability to FEEL the subtle changes.

So anyone struggling with a level of motivation can easily create change in their life by switching the environment. Whether that be moving the body some place more influential physically or by changing the signs/posters/music/food/level of comfort around them within the home.

Our circumstances won’t change until we change our entire diets.  And our diets are largely due to what is going on in our environments.

One love.

Eddie Fews  


For direct help on redesigning your everyday consumption and/or for direct  spiritual, social, or dating consultation feel free to email me now at EddieFews@wayoftheplayer.com

Let ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom‘ change your life. Just click the link below –>   Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.

Attract Women With An Abundance Mentality

What’s up guys,

It’s been a while since I’ve made a blog post mainly due to all the writing I’ve been doing for my upcoming book titled ” The Worker Ant Syndrome” . That, combined with the answering emails, staying current with the forums, and the increase of clientele after the holiday season has left me with little time to contribute to my own blog. I had read a great article about the importance of waking up earlier recently and I decided to wake up two hours earlier than normal. This had allotted me additional time to contribute to areas of my life that I had recently been neglecting.

I want say thank you to all who are continuing to follow the blog and a big thank you to all who have sent me letters of appreciation for the content I’ve written here. Every “thank you” and every bit of recognition is more incentive for me to keep doing what I do. When you know someone is listening, you want to make sure you give them something worth listening to.

To continue, I want to discuss what I feel may be the most anti-seductive thing about the men in the culture of our society, and the men in many other developed nations today. And that happens to be : The Unwillingness To Make A Sacrifice. By choosing to understand that abundance does exist, abundance can very well be yours, especially when you consider the advantages of the society we are living in. We’re in this internet age where each and every day the speed at which we can acquire the tangibles we desire increases.

You want some food? Go to grubhub or seamless, click a couple buttons, and you can have a full cooked meal delivered to your front door in under an hour.

Feel like talking to a friend that lives halfway across the world? Not only can you call or text them in an instant, but you can even pull their face up in live time right on the monitor of your computer through Skype, Oovoo, or FaceTime .

Want some new clothes or some new shoes? Go to your favorite clothing websites, select the items you want, and they will have it personally shipped to your door. But not only that, most clothing stores and sites like eBay  will give you a a discount if you decide to order online in opposition to taking more time out of your day by going to the store to purchase the item in person.

We are being encouraged from every angle to take the instant way out. Our dating has even become instant. Why go out to bars and night clubs to meet women when you can download apps like Tinder, Okcupid, and POF and literally have women at your door step in a couple of hours if you’re skilled enough? Why make a relationship work? Just get a new one. All it takes is the click of a button…Right? This has become our society.

There are two kinds of situations that I deal with the most frequently when it comes to the mentality of the men I work with. There is the guy who is so rooted in this instant age that he has lost all appreciation for the opposite sex. As I said above, why stress over a girl when you can click a button and whip up another one? Especially when you consider that there are more quality women than there are quality men. Any man that’s good with women and/or is frequently around social settings can tell you this. It’s said that 20% of the men sleep with 80% of the women. Think about it… How many of your friends in high school and college were truly getting laid consistently? I’m not talking about that she- was- drunk-lay once or twice a month; I’m talking about those actually getting laid consistently when they wanted to…

I went on a three day dry fast a couple of weeks ago in which I couldn’t eat food or drink water for 72 hours. And never in my life up until around the 40th hour did I realize how truly unappreciative I was for water. Water was everywhere and everyone was practically giving it away for free. I can walk into any public bath room in New York City, turn on the faucet, and have water in an instant. Water has become so insignificant that we pollute it now without even considering what this means for the future. So over the course of the dry fast, the thirst and the desire for water over that 72 hours led me to even marvel at little puddles of unclean water on the streets of NYC. As the man above, its very difficult to value anything that comes so easily and cheaply. I won’t get into the specifics of the dry-fast  now, but just know that water literary shapes itself to the energy we are giving off to it at any giving moment. There’s a documentary called “Water” which breaks this down scientifically. The more you appreciate water the more the molecular  structure of the water bonds together, and the healthier the water becomes for your body. Say “I Love You” to the water, and the water molecules bond together to form a shape that resembles a perfect snow flake; say “I hate you”  and the molecules scatter and separate reducing the quality of the water. So the fast had many benefits physically, mentally, and spiritually, but the main one was that it had changed how valuable I perceived water to be; thus making all the water I put into my body from now on more beneficial.

I believe this happens with the people in our lives as well, and this is the problem all the men who lose appreciation for the opposite sex are having. Their lack of appreciation is causing the energy they give off to women to alter the emotional structure of the women in such a way that the women are becoming tasteless – reducing their quality. Women are becoming disposable, because like “water” they are seen everywhere and they are being accessed so easily. Remember when women were waiting until marriage to have sex? Nope. I’m guessing those were the days. Men were more likely to marry a woman because they knew there was no way she was going to sleep with them unless they did. Nowadays there are too many women that want commitment who don’t know of anything they can offer besides sex. And they even give that away before there is a commitment. So why would a man commit? Just so he can continuing getting what he was already getting without one? Give me a break.

Then there is the guy who understands the “instant” age but someway somehow he doesn’t believe he can get another girl better than the woman who is already in his life. And so they tolerate behavior from women that they shouldn’t; and if there is one thing a woman hates more than anything it is a man who is putting up with her shit. Men meet these women then lose their backbones and the woman’s respect for her man goes out the window. And once a woman loses respect for her man, the loves goes right on out the window with it. Even with all of the available dating websites, and beautiful single women all over the place in big cities, there are men that still hold on as if there isn’t another woman just like her a couple conversations away.

I’ve been a surviver of both situations  in my life at one time or another.  In my last relationship I had met a girl I had a lot in common with – we even had the same birthday. After the relationship ended I remember thinking ” I’ll probably never meet another women with the same birthday as me again”. I let that mentality cause me to internally hold on longer than I should have. And the moment I let that go and aligned myself back with the abundance mentality I had before the relationship, I met two attractive women over the course of the next three weeks who both shared the same birthday as me; and the woman I was with before. It was almost the universes way of saying, “Don’t you dare think I’m not capable of supplying you with abundance… Here’s goes two of them”.

I had always been lined up with an abundance mentality, but for whatever reason I had been led down this road once again to learn a few lessons I may of missed out on in the past.  And because of this, I now had more women of a higher quality who wanted to be in my life than I had previously.

I think it’s important that every man who wants to be skilled at attracting women learn to practice an abundance mentality by letting them go. I’m not encouraging you to go around sleeping with tons of women and then letting them go; I’m encouraging you to let them go before it even reaches that point. Practice walking away from the women that you truly like before it even gets that far. When you’re out at a club or a bar and you finally see a “ten” and you get her phone number; delete it, immediately after and move on with your life.

Know from deep within yourself that it is the willingness to make that sacrifice that will energetically make you more attractive to “ten’s” in the future. A woman needs to know that you can stand on your own two feet and be fine without her for her to continue to feel attraction for you.  And the best way to develop that in today’s society that i have found is to practice letting go of the women you truly want before you even dive all the way in. The universe will test you to make sure you are ready. You’ll meet some of the greatest women you’ll feel you’ve met ever, and if you pass the test when it does, a new world of abundance will open up for you. There are always higher levels.

For the guy who has lost appreciation for women I would encourage that you purge. Spend some time alone; spend some time in celibacy. When you go out to bars, don’t approach, just hang out with your friends and enjoy your drinks. Don’t answer any text from old girls, don’t masturbate, and definitely don’t watch any porn whether purging or not. I’ve had to do this several times in in my life. Ninety days of celibacy (no ejaculation) is said to rewire and reset the minds view on sexuality. Men who struggle to get an erection because of desensitization from over exposure to sex and/or the watching of pornography were said to correct their problem after ninety days without an ejaculation.

In closing, I think it’s important for men to find a healthy balance between the two men I described above. If you’re currently guy number one, spend some time purging, if you’re guy number two, practice getting the women you want and then letting them go until you find yourself within an emotional state and alignment that you’re comfortable with. Life is all about finding a healthy balance. Men too far in one direction shortly find themselves in the opposite direction because of the law of polarity – everything that goes up must come back down. Balance creates happiness and so balance is about hovering at a midway point so that one finds a healthy balance for themselves. Spend some time finding your own balance so that you can experience a higher level of emotional wellness and health within relationships. And let me also include that this is a male driven article; I think its important for men to learn how to attract and for women to learn how to be attracted. If a woman and a man both tried to adopt this same mentality they would naturally repel one another. Let one learn to attract and the other strengthen their ability to be attracted.  Men being hunters, and being more assertive about their approach to meeting and dating women are better off being the one to attract those who are most capable of being attracted. Any woman looking for tips on how to become more “attracted” feel free to email me at the contact us section of the website.

Thanks for Reading.

Peace & Love


Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via Skype, phone or IM.

Let ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom‘ change your life. Just click the link below –>   Support independent publishing: Buy this e-book on Lulu.