How To Become The Woman A Man Needs

So I was recently hired by a highly attractive educated young woman to begin working with her on improving her dating life success. Her, unlike most with her credentials, physical appeal, and youth had decided that enough was enough, and that she was ready for change. She was only thirty years old, had graduated from one of the top ten schools in the country, had her masters, and is damn near making six figures a year doing marketing with a fortune 500 company right here in New York City. Her problem you ask? She somehow couldn’t manage to get a guy to commit to her for any thing other then a long-term friends with benefits situationship. And I do mean long term. She had had one for two years, another for three, and even one that stretched as long as six years that only ended recently after he proposed to, and married his best friend who he had been crushing on all along. So for the life of her, she wondered what she was doing wrong. You see, she wasn’t a bad woman at all. She had kept all of these men coming around for years and years, so there was obviously something about her that they couldn’t so easily let go of. So what was it? Why wouldn’t they commit to her in the way she wanted? This all had led us into a deeper conversation, an as she revealed some things about herself to me, I had encouraged her to do what I refer to as an “honesty exercise” on FaceTime with this new guy that was set to take her on a first date later on in the week.

She told the guy she would like to FaceTime, he agreed, and then he reported back to her the next morning to inform her that he had ‘fallen asleep before he could FaceTime, but that he would prefer to meet in person anyway so i didn’t matter much’. Her response? “ Okay That Works! 🙂 Saturday?” .. And thats when I realized what part of the problem she was having was. She was just too easy. Instead of committing to the exercise that I suggested she did, she allowed the guy of interest to side step it, and pull her right back into doing what it is he wanted without her putting up any resistance. It’s kind of like a girl saying “ I’m saving myself for marriage” on the first date and then the moment a guy says “ Nah. i’d prefer to have sex tonight” , she responds “Okay thats fine”. Wheres the backbone? No Resistance or challenge at all? You know the move women do even when they know they’re going to have sex with you, when they move your hand the first few times you reach for there erogenous zones, just so they don’t come across as too easy.. Not even a verbal one of those? I have no doubt that if this guy has any skill with women, the moment he saw her response he immediately concluded that he would probably be able to sleep with her on the first night.

She asked me what should she have done and I told her she should of busted his balls. I told her it is your job a female companion to bust a mans balls anytime he deviates from his masculinity. It’s the only thing thats going to make him feel like you in fact, have the potential to make him better. Staying true to our word, and doing what we said we would do is a standard that men are held to. A man cannot be a leader if he’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants, and his word cannot be relied upon.  Whether he knows it consciously or not a man wants a woman that helps snap him back into position when he falls short of his highest masculine nature. I told her any response such as “ So you didn’t do what you said you would, and now you want me to do what you want? I don’t know mister 😛 “ would of have been sufficient. She kicked herself a bit and told me that she was just nervous that she would come across “bitchy” if she didn’t just go with it. I informed her that when a woman is that easy all she’ll do is weaken a guy over time. It’s like a mother that feeds a child candy every time they ask. It’ll make them happy in the moment, but then what happens in the future? So that behavior is an ego boost for men, and we all know men connect ourselves to women that stroke our egos, but what exactly does an ego boost that isn’t deserved do to a man over time? It destroys him. It dulls his blade. It convinces him that the shell of himself that he is currently being is someone good. Men are programed to pass on our seeds, and most of us won’t become much more than we have to become to successfully do that. That’s what success is to a man biologically; successfully being able to spread your seed as much as possible. This is why the majority of men who go around laying pipe every where don’t really do well in life. (Another reason most of our favorite musicians fall off after getting mainstream successful if they’re unmarried) . You ever hear a woman say ” broke men are the best in bed” ? The success of spreading their seed is convincing their biology that they’re already successful. So the motivation to exceed beyond that is non existent. On a biological level this is the case, but a spiritual level men in tune with themselves know something different. We understand that an overly easy going woman will dull our blade, and we subconsciously resent them for it.

Thats what a side chick is for. The reason a man seeks out a side chick, or a “friends with benefits” is so that we have a woman that carelessly pumps our ego so that we feel “good enough” to deal with our wife, or the woman we actually want to be our wives. She boosts our morale and a self esteem, but she doesn’t actually do anything to boost us beyond that. Our wives on the other hand are holding us to the standard of what they know our potential is. The side chicks are the women on the sideline, the cheerleaders, the screaming fan. The wife is that mirror we have to look into at the end of the day when its all said and done. And what would happen to you if you suddenly could no longer gain access to a mirror? You could think you look good all you like, and feel good because of it , but would you actually look good? And until a woman, your wife, or a mirror revealed to you what you actually look like, you could be living a long life of disillusion.

It is important that a wife learns to be both however, lest their man will begin looking for that side chick. Someone to boost his morale, while his wife challenges him to be better. If you could be a mans biggest fan, and his mirror perhaps he would be slower to seek it out else where. But all in all, if he could only choose one, as I told my client, a man wants his woman to be a blade sharpener. Which is why a man almost never leaves his wife for his side chick. He wants to slice through the world as his woman sharpens his blade. My client was just being another portion of the world that men were slicing through. She wasn’t doing anything to make them better at slicing, or to strengthen their blade. Eventually that mans blade would hit a wall that was too thick from him to slice through because he was being convinced that he was sharp enough already, but he was not actually prepared for what was ahead. She was an amazing side chick; probably one of the best, and this was confirmed after she revealed that several of her situationships led to the guys getting married or being in happy long term relationships after her.

The woman a man needs prepares him for the world ahead. I’ve heard story after story of a woman that supported her man entirely after he lost his job, supported him in his depression, only to have him leave her for another woman once he got back onto his feet. But the support they were offering wasn’t the support these mens spirits were actually longing for. They were giving the “ i’m here for you no matter what. Just take your time to figure yourself out” kind of support, but his spirit was looking for that “ I’m here for you, but I’ll have to leave you if you don’t eventually get your shit together” kind of support. Only one of those was actually going to boost him to do something. I’ve told the story a million times of the woman I know who worked a second job and gave all of the money to her boyfriend, and bought him books, until he figured out what he was going to do with his life who’s now happily married to him and wealthy 18 years later. But the difference between her man and most men is the guy she was with wasn’t lazy, unmotivated, nor was he bum. He was selling drugs at a high level, and getting money the only way he knew how. He just didn’t know any other way, so she asked an already ambitious man to stay at home, while she worked until he figured out a way to redirect his ambition. If he went back to the streets during this time, she was going to leave him, she said it. She wasn’t just taking shit; she was taking some, but she was offering true spiritual support. He sat at home, doing nothing but reading for a whole year while his girlfriend worked a second job an gave him all the money, before he become the multi-millionaire he is today.

Now this isn’t some call for women to no longer remain with the guy you’re currently with. It’s a group effort; I’d suggest that if your man isn’t currently being the man you would like him to be then it could be possible that you’re failing as his companion. Especially if he was once a sharp motivated man when you met him that has somehow lost his way. Did you dull his blade? Why isn’t he sharp? What happen to his motivation? And what true spiritual support have you offered him to try to change that? I would encourage all women to remain with a man thats being honest, upright, and treating you with respect. There isn’t an “I” in team, so if your man isn’t being all he could be, it is possible that you may not be being all that you can be to him. Or that you’re not acting as a source of support and motivation thats encouraging him to become more.

In closing,

This isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle of becoming the woman that a man needs, this is just one vital portion that I discovered my client was lacking. This is the edges of the puzzle if you will. Her and I will be completing the puzzle over time as we’ll continue our work. Once you become the woman you’re man needs, once you sharpen his blade, and become his mirror that both highlights his beauty and reveals to him his true self a man will be happy be the man to you and to the world that you’ve been wanting him to the entire time.

Thanks For Reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

Going Through A Break Up? Read This Now – Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Going Through A Break Up? Read This Now

The holidays just seem to be the time in which everyone decides to save money on gift buying and break up with their partners and as a result I’ve gotten a share of emails asking about getting back with ex girlfriends, dealing with heart break, etc. I decided I would make a public post about the question and stories I’ve bene hearing and the way I responded. Every guy going through it seems to think that their girlfriend was the “special” one, and while that may be partially true; the full truth is that there is something special about everyone of these women. No one is more special than the other. Its just the feeling of loss mixed with the feelings of “wanting what you can’t have” that causes men to romanticize over women who probably meant absolutely nothing to the last couple guys that walked in and out of their life.

I often wonder how a man with high self esteem and pride could feel comfortable dating a girl who had let men walk all over them just months before meeting you. Wheres your dignity? Surely if the last guy treated her like dirt and she allowed it you don’t want to be the one to roll out the red carpet.. or do you? But you know what they say.. “ One mans trash is another mans treasure”. I find myself curious about how the women I’m dating let guys treat them in the past. When you feel you are deserving of the best you kind of don’t wanna settle for a woman who didn’t know her worth until she was inspired by the love you began to give her. I’ll be the first to admit that I have made this mistake a couple times, but after the first I was always quick to snap out of it. There is a well of women out here; a well of amazing women. As I am writing this there is beautiful barista working behind the counter at the cafe I’m sitting at. She has no real shape, no ass, average sized breast, but her face is gorgeous and she carries herself with such grace and elegance. Not to mention I was out with an amazing woman last night; theres just so many. I repeat phrases like “ theres so many great women” because i really want the readers to get it. If you’re heart broken, cry it out but get over it. The moment you wipe the water clouding your vision you’ll notice all the great women you’re surrounded by.

I saw a study recently in which a scientist created a test group of 20 strangers – ten male, ten female and paired them up facing each other while sitting at tables. They were to stare each other in the eyes while reading romantic poetry and repeating phrases like “ I love you” and “ I want to spend my life with you”. The study went on for 8 hours.. And you know what happen? When it was done three out of the ten couples got married and four of the remaining seven couples began seeing each other after the study. So what does that tell us? What we know to be love is truthfully something we coax ourselves into being in when we find someone who we feel is attractive enough (whether internally, externally or both), that we happen to begin seeing consistently.

It is our own thoughts, it is the things we say to ourselves about the partner while they’re not around that slowly but surely fills us with the chemical reaction we know to be infatuation. I fall in love easily, I always have, because I enjoy it. I enjoy the emotions, I enjoy the rush, the inspiration; I even enjoy the momentary pain once its all said and done. Its all creative fuel for me. I use for creativity. I fall in love because it is part of my purpose in life to, however i’m always completely aware that this is ME thats making all of this happen. There is no special girl necessarily; but there is special thoughts of my own creation. And i then use those same thoughts to rise on above and beyond it. If you’ve fell in love once you can fall in love again. Its simply a matter of teaching yourself too; and like anything else – with practice comes perfection.

Anyway; I’ll get to a couple pieces of advice that I gave out recently on men dealing with heartbreak. I’m sure the majority of the stories out there aren’t too different than these.

From: JMW

Subject: Stressed over a girl I was seeing. Fix or move on?

Message:I’ll try to summarize this the best I can.

About 3 months ago, I met a girl through some friends. Every person I met said the same thing, “She’s sweet, beautiful, fun, and I think you 2 would get along great”. So I decided to meet her in a group setting and they were right, we really hit it off. We dated for a couple months and she was VERY interested me. She kept asking our mutual friend if I liked her, she texted me everyday from the day we met at least once if nothing else than to say goodnight. First time we slept together, she beat around the bush for 2 hours basically inviting herself over. We had an incredible time every time we were together.

The last time I saw her she came to my house, we cooked, watched a movie, etc. We were supposed to hang out a couple days later but she cancelled on me because she forgot she had plans with friends. I hate when people break commitments but I didn’t address it via text and things had been going so well I didn’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill. After that day, she quit texting me except for when I texted her first, but she would respond immediately to my texts. We would talk for 2 hours but then when I’d invite her over or ask her out, she would beat around the bush with bs excuses.

So after about 10 days of this, I confronted her about it basically saying wtf but in a more polite and professional manner. She said said I had been super sweet to her (my first mistake, I know) and that she thought I was looking for something serious and she wasn’t ready for that blah blah etc. I have no idea why she thought that because AFAIK I had done nothing to indicate it. A few days went by and our mutual friend called me and said she told them that when she was cooking, I walked up behind her and gave her a hug and she thought it was moving too fast. I guess I’m just batshit for thinking you can hug a girl 3 weeks after you’ve been sleeping together.

It has been driving me bonkers because she was perfect for what I like. I’ve had gf’s for 2+ years that I missed less than her. So the same mutual friend called me yesterday and said she had been talking about me to them and on one hand trying to make me sound like the bad guy but on the other hand still acting interested in seeing me. 2 of our friends told me they think she started to catch feelings, it freaked her out, so she bailed.

Sorry this was so lengthy, but I haven’t slept in 2 weeks and am trying to find the solution. What would you recommend? I made the mistake of being very nice and accommodating because I had convinced myself “she was different” and would appreciate it which she acted like she did.

Can I/should I try to salvage this or move on and try to forget about it?

My Response: First things first bro..

Here me once and here my clear.

CLOSURE is for BITCHES and bitches only.

Life ain’t fair and you aren’t always going to get closure. And the fact that you’re struggling to move on without getting it is a reflection of why she isn’t around to begin with. Its weak and is a reflection of you not being able to stand on your own two feet(not secure, women want a secure man) without the assistance of information from another.

Second.. Everybody gets GOT bro, its all apart of the game. Like my dad(former super player) told me after I got broken up with and left the first time.. ” You ain’t a player until you get played son”.

Two things can happen when you have such an experience; you can become bitter or you can become better. This shit should only fuel you because of the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding you’re going to gain from having this experience.

Also, let me ask. Why on earth would you want to be a relationship because YOU want to be in one? Don’t you understand how girly that is? She was already fucking you, she was already crashing and cooking food with you.. Why would you want to hand over your freedom as if you were going to get something in exchange for doing so? Its a bad deal.

Now if she wasn’t fucking you or doing all the girlfriend shit and said ” I only fuck and cook with guys who decide to be my boyfriend and stop fucking other women” I could understand you wanting to be in a relationship because then AT LEAST there is a REASON. You get to cook and fuck the girl granted you give her your freedom.

The mindset that pushes a guy to want to be in a relationship off of his own decision is an INSTANT oneitis mindset. That would only suggest that oneitis, is but a couple months away. You’ll have your 1-4 months of fun, but after that its all set and done.

So if I could give you any advice right now I would tell you to cry your eyes out, play a bunch of sick love drunk love songs ” The Script” has a great album called Breakeven I think. I balled my eyes out to that when I lost my first love after being a pimp all my life before then. And once you’re spend a couple weeks crying and sulking you build yourself back up into a stronger better man, worthy of attracting a higher quality woman because of the wisdom you gained from this experience.

You’ll fall in love again, believe that.. I’ve been in love 9 times almost; its a choice, you talk yourself into falling in love. You’re poison your thoughts day by day little by little until you’re on your death bed.

You will be straight man, I promise you that. You may have a couple months of recovery but after that you will not remember this girl existed. Well you may, but she’ll be a faint memory. And it won’t be a big deal.

I live in NYC and I’ve lost some of the greatest women by societal standards that this country has to offer. You think you’ll never meet another for a while, but you always do. A player will always snap back into position and get back on his shit.

Now what you don’t want to do is contact her. Please do not contact her. PLEASE. It will be of no use.

If you want her back – which you probably won’t if you really do what you’re supposed to, when she contacts you IGNORE HER the first time and respond the second time she reaches out. THIS SHIT NEVER FAILS.. TRUST ME.. There are no unique situations. I don’t give two shits what the text or voicemail says, let her contact you at least twice before you respond. The first text is always spontaneous, the second and third will reveal her true feelings. If you don’t want her back then of course just ignore her all together and just carry on with life.

So just hold out, cry, and rebuild. And when she contacts you IGNORE the first text and then respond to the second or third one.

It make take a couple days for her to send a second text, but she will.. THEY ALWAYS DO. There are no female exceptions to the rule; no matter how great you thought or think she is. We’re animals, creatures of habits and NO ONE is above human nature.

You’re but a few short months away from being the best version of yourself you’ve ever been. Sulk for a bit, but find a way to be EXCITED. Its gets better man. It does get better. Weather this storm and then enjoy your new life.

JMW: Thanks for the lengthy response Eddie!

Deep down I know you’re correct and I guess the 2 biggest things that are driving me crazy are:

1. I haven’t figured out what I’ve learned just yet. I like having a building block to work off of and a failure knowing where I went wrong so I can improve next time.

2. Before I even agreed to meet her, some people I’ve known for years and trust their opinion, told me how great of a girl she was and sweet and innocent and whatever. I’m not sure whether we all misread her or whether something changed.

I honestly wasn’t looking for a relationship or trying to change anything. I was pleased with how things were and never once mentioned a relationship or being exclusive or any of that. We saw each other a couple times a week for food, sex, fun shit and that’s perfect for me. It gives me time to do my own shit while still having a cool chick around on occasion. Even at the time, I didn’t realize it would bother me as much as it has if things didn’t work out. And like I said, more than anything I just want to know wtf happened.

I’ve had similar situations in the past and didn’t give a damn. I’ve heard the PUA talk of oneitis for years, but assumed I was too heartless to understand. Overall, I don’t much care for it. Hell I can’t even say I’ve ever been in love. Usually when things end, we part ways, it’s a chapter to close, and I search for something else. For some damn reason this one has me all messed up in the head.

I’ve held out this long without contacting her and general consensus is that she will reach out again at some point. Maybe I’ll just continue to wait it out and see what happens.

Thanks again, you are awesome and I’d probably be lost had I never discovered this industry

My Response: You’re not always going to know man. Because you CARE to KNOW is the root of your oneitis. I’m sure you could give two shits about the starting at finishing point of exactly where things went from with some of the women you parted with in the past. It just didn’t matter to you. As it doesn’t matter to many of us; unless it’s a girl we’ve developed oneitis for.

And women are never listening to the shit we say nor do they care so much for the things we do. What they care about is the place and position our words and actions are coming from. So you don’t have to say ” I want to be with you for the rest of my life” to give off the ” I want to be with you for the rest of my life” energy and vibe. Its implied subtly.

The thing men don’t understand about women is that women speak a language that many men don’t understand; its a language of hints. They speak it with each other and because it comes so natural to them they assume WE speak it too. But we don’t..And this is why women think guys are “dumb”.. We only know one language; and don’t understand that most obvious words and interpretations of the language they naturally think ALL people speak.

So a woman is reading into the language that you speak that you don’t even know that you speak if that makes any sense. So she communicates back to you in that lingo hoping you’re paying enough attention to make adjustments when she responds to make adjustments. You cared too much; regardless of what you may think – hence the reason you are here. The fact that you are posting on this forum about her shows you had oneitis for her that she picked up on in language number two. It may not of been blatant to you because of your natural male insensitivity but it was obvious to her, hence the reason she took off.

You just have to accept that. Regardless of what you may think; her telling you this from her own mouth (which she did in chick language already) isn’t going to make you feel any better. What you are asking for is for her to be a GUY and tell you clearly and plainly exactly why she behaved the way she did and unfortunately women just don’t operate like that. You have to take this one like the champ you are and keep it moving.

You can’t except a dog to meow man, even if it’ll make you feel better. Dogs just don’t meow. And chicks just don’t explain in the language that men want them to how and why things took the turn they did.

Accept it and rise man. Everyone takes a loss.

I got GOT at one of the most pimp moments of my life. I was seeing loads of chicks all the time; and one girl got me. So no ones exempt. And never think you’re above the BROKEN heart. Because once you think you are; it’ll be waiting for you right around the corner to remind you that human nature is still intact.

It’ll be tougher now for sure, because you will have built up stronger walls against it; which only means that you will be attracting higher quality women now because of your new found resistance. So don’t worry and be happy *Bob Marly voice*

Be open about it to bro. Don’t be afraid to wear that shit with a smile. People respect transparency and you’ll be surprised how many women want to fuck you out of sympathy because of it. So long as you’re not trying to pose like you’re some big macho unfeeling man after the break up. Most of the sympathy pussy won’t hang around for too long, but they’ll still be there to comfort you at moments through this. And you’re not going to cry to them of course; you’re going to just accept the fact that you’re in remodeling mode and you’re going to smile through it.

And no problem man. I’m in a good mood and so I’m writing a lot. You caught me at the right time.

JMW: I’ll be damned. I came looking for some advice and words of encouragement and it actually went better than I had hoped for.

For the past couple weeks I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell I did wrong so I can improve it and move on. Being a guy who hates bullshit, I’d rather have it spelled out as blatantly as possible right in front of my face and take out the guess work. That didn’t happen this time. But after talking with you and having some time to think, I see the mistakes I made and can learn from them now.Most of the time, if a 2 month “relationship” ends I don’t give a shit and that’s why they usually don’t end because the girl detects that I wouldn’t give a shit and keeps trying to “win me over”. Since she came to me so highly reviewed through friends, I let my guard down and caught feelings too soon because I wasn’t making her prove she was worthy. While I never said it or directly showed it, she could just tell I guess. Hell I didn’t even realize at the time I gave this much of a damn but she did. I definitely fucked a couple things up and now I finally see what they were. Hell I even cancelled another date after I met this girl because things went so well (and I got the flu).
Thanks again for all the help. I’m glad I caught you in a good mood because it may just be what gets me out of this damn funk I’ve been in.
From: DM

Subject: Need your expert advice man please!!! (break up)

Message: So my gf of one and a half years just broke up with me. She said she isn’t happy, that we havent been doing well for a long time and that “She loves me, but isn’t in love with me” (whatever that means).. Anyways, we have had problems in our relationship, but i didn’t think that the gravity of which would culminate in this kind of breakup. We talked, and asked her to work it out saying i could change, be the person she needed to give it a chance, but she was having none of it. I know what it seems like, ive been devastated, but i still love this girl, and am not ready to walk away from such a long relationship without a fight. Ive read different places that the only and best way to get back an ex is to go into radio silence for a month and just work on yourself. How should I go about this, i love this girl with all my heart and would give anything to work things out. Im a fucking wreck, but she doesn’t seem to be too distraught (as she put it she’s ‘numb’ to me). What is a way that i can get out of this and at least have a shot at getting back with her. I know i made the mistake of trying to convince her to try it, but we had had fights before and BAM we were in each others arms again. I need some advice on how to make this relationship work again, and not have people tell me to move on, find other fish in the sea etc.. I need help with this one please!

Thanks and i look forward to your response.

My Response: “i love this girl with all my heart and would give anything to work things out. Im a fucking wreck”

This quote here is the sole reason your girl left you. You care about her more than you care about yourself and because of it you’ve become a burden. You’ve become a weight on her shoulders and this is why she now resents you. You’re draining her. You’re free loading off of the energy she brings into your life. Who wouldn’t be numb to a free loader? She’s lost respect for you because you’ve put her desires too far before your own. And once a woman loses respect for you; her love for you goes right out the window. It happens to the best of us so don’t be so hard on yourself. But you must fucking chill. Any action you take from the mindset that you are currently in is going to push her further away from you than she is now. If you make absolutely ZERO attempts to reach out to her again she WILL come back when you least expect it. But remember I said ZERO! So before you do something stupid like send her a 500 word text or give her a call remember that the action will ruin the 100% guarantee that she WILL return if and ONLY if you make ZERO attempts to contact her again.

Every attempt at contact after that point reduces the chances of her returning by 50%.. But as long as you do NOT, you have a 100% chance that she will return. I swear to you before God.. No woman is special and they all do the same shit.

Work Out, read books, and go hang out with buddies. It’s tough to read with a broken heart i know. Its tough to work out with a broken heart also, but you must power yourself through it man. Its the only way. Just power yourself through making improvements and SHE WILL return when you least expect it.

From: EnKay

Subject: Need and urgent reply!! I Don’t wanna lose her. ( Break up )

Message: Been dating a girl since november. Had a great start. Havent seen her in 5 weeks. Issues at work etc. ive lost my job and havent been myself. Neither had she. Had a bit if distance. Sent flowers to her for valentines day last week, thiught to restart this. We set tomorrow for a date. Been really excited. Then she sent this:

“I tried calling earlier, I’m putting dating on a hold at the minute, not sure what i want. I don’t want to mess you around so thought I would let you know”

How do i respond??

I need your help please?

My Response: Why would you wanna date a girl if your life is currently a mess? Cut it out bro. Don’t you know that if you’re a mess you will only make the life of another a mess? Why fuck up someone else life just because you’re currently lonely? Get your shit together first bro. These chicks ain’t going NO WHERE. You only want her because its appearing that you can’t have her. TRUST ME. If you had her, you wound’t even want her like you do now. You’re listening to the chemicals reactions in your body that are all created from YOUR OWN thoughts and not the honest logic. Fuck her bro.. Not literary.. Like forget her.. Go on with your life. She’ll come chasing you if you do, but as long as you stay obsessed with her mentally, she’ll know intuitively and want nothing to do with you. Women intuition is 10x stronger than ours – we can’t even imagine what this is like. You have to live your life as if everyone is always watching because they are. If you wouldn’t post on the forums about her with her knowing; don’t do the shit thinking that she won’t know. She’ll feel it. Its a topic I cover in my book.

Behave the way you would behave if you had a camera following you everywhere you go linked directly to her television screen and she was watching your every move. Because she kinda is and this will all impact the way she thinks about you when you’re not around. Life is a feeling process. We pick up vibes.. women just pick them shits up stronger. Grow man.. Grow tall and let go. She’ll love you for it.

But whatever you do.. DO NOT HIT HER UP! its the worst thing you can do. And she’ll feel less attraction for you and push you further away.

Peace.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

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Should Men Be Allowed A Cheat Day In Relationships?

This one will probably be met with several screw faces from the female supporters, but I’m going to be optimistic and offer a perspective that should speak to a few of you. The few with a mind that is open to at least discussing masculine ideas without becoming angry. The few who’ll find it easiest to get a man to want to commit to them long term in the first place. I’ve found in my personal life that the most attractive and confident women have a spirit of seeking to understand. They may not agree right away, but they don’t go touting their opinion easily. They understand that there is a difference within the psychology of a man and a woman and thus, they seek to understand the males way of thinking to better help them function in a union with one. The majority of these women just so happen to be in functional relationships, but perhaps that’s just a coincidence.

Today it’s very easy for a woman to say, “Well this is what I want and if he doesn’t like it then its on to the next one”, but how long does this mentality survive until you’ve worn yourself out through failed relationship after failed relationship and one finds themselves alone? It is the very “on to the next one” mentality that results in a man not feeling attracted to a woman anyway. I’ve wrote about this before. A man thrives off of feeling needed, so if you’re mentality is “On to the next one, I can do fine without a man, My feelings or the highway etc…” you will produce a vibe that  will subconsciously be a repellent to the opposite sex. He may stick around to enjoy the sex, the affection, and good times, but his eyes will continue to wander to a place in which he can feel that he is “needed”.

Women want to feel “wanted” and men want to feel “needed”. It is a thin line, but there is a difference between the two. Before I get into the topic let me also say that there are always exceptions to every rule. Every time I write something like this I get an email from a woman saying,“ Well I knew this guy that this didn’t apply to”. Of course you do. I’m speaking to the majority. If I wrote an article saying, “Men have ten toes” would you email me saying, “ Well I disagree. I knew someone who had 11 toes?”.

No.

So lets not do that here.

It is also true that men are being emasculated today. We’re dealing with some of the most emotional, not knowing what they want, tipping toeing men of all time. This is happening for several reasons that I will be tackling in my next article,“Why Have Men Become So Effeminate?”. Women are also being a lot more masculine, and consequently we’re dealing with some of the most aggressive, detached, and combative women of all time. So I understand that these two types will be the first to write this content off before they even try comprehend it. But my intent is only to speak to the true nature of masculinity, and not what masculinity has been marginalized into during the 21st century.

Now with that being said, this article is not written to encourage women to give their man a cheat day, its more so written to get women to understand a male’s way of thinking, his nature, and his emotions more than anything. You can do whatever you want with the information after that, but understanding one another should be pivotal. So I’m going to go into several aspects arguing my case, and if you can keep an open mind and put away what YOU think, and your opinions for a moment please continue. If you’re already turning up your nose and waiting to disagree, you can stop here and leave a comment disagreeing as if you read the entire thing and understand what I’m trying to say.

I’ll start by presenting this one fact: ‘A single human male produces enough sperm in two weeks to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet.

Would you or would you not agree that a creatures genetic make up has some impact an influence on what that creature does and that creature’s way of thinking? Surely a lion being born with claws and sharp teeth feels compelled to hunt animals for meat. Its teeth and digestive system aren’t made to digest grass, and so it hunts because of its biological make up . This isn’t some social construct. No one has to tell the lion that it’s suppose to hunt other animals. The lion knows instinctively that its job is to hunt because of the cards that it has been dealt. So, what would possessing enough sperm cells to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet every two weeks do to a man on an instinctual level when our bodies naturally  produce hormones that trigger us to want to reproduce? Nothing happens for no reason in nature. It is our hormones and our emotions that trigger our actions.

For example, when a man or woman becomes angry it is because their bodies are producing a chemical called catecholamine, and it is this chemical that triggers the motivation to act out in anger. Its not just a mental thing.  It’s a hormonal cause for the emotion that proceeds before the action. So in that same light, how does a woman only being able to have one child a year influence her instinctual behavior? Her traditional nature would encourage her to find one suitable partner with strong genes so that she could give birth and maintain the population of the planet. Nature didn’t create sex so that we could have pleasure, nature made sex pleasurable so that we would reproduce. If sex were painful our subconscious would instinctively shy us away from the act.

So what does a man and woman’s biological nature tell you about the way that we feel compelled to act instinctively? A man’s nature – producing enough sperm to impregnate every female on the planet; a woman’s nature – only being able to produce one child per year? Which would be the one that would be more concerned with finding a commitment with one person? And before anyone says humans have free will… sure we do, but nature still plays its role. This is why you consistently hear women saying, “All men are the same” and men saying ,“ All women are the same”. Surely we each have our own personality and things that makes us unique, but we all possess the same nature. Just as all lions are the same, and all dolphins are the same. They each have unique attributes, but when you boil them down to their nature they each do the same exact things.

And this brings me to my next point:

When a male and female copulate,hug, kiss or touch, a chemical called oxytocin is produced. Oxytocin is a bonding chemical, and this is what creates the romantic feelings we feel for one another. The body begins to crave the feel good chemical oxytocin and this creates the emotion which is responsible for attachment. The most oxytocin is produce when a woman breast is being sucked on, so if any ladies out there are with a no good man that you can’t seem to get away from; keep the guy away from your breast. This is the same chemical produced when a woman is breast feeding that intensifies the bond and connection between a mother and her child. Now, did you that know oxytocin is produced by both man and woman, but testosterone nullifies oxytocin? And the more testosterone a man has the more difficult it will be for him to be attached to any one person. The chemical responsible for attachments begins to be nullified within him. You don’t just love someone dearly because you love them, you love them because they’ve succeeded at producing a sufficient amount of feel good chemicals in your body that created the attachment. This can’t be forced and/or manufactured. A man can’t just love you the way you love him because you want him to. You have to succeed at producing high enough levels of oxytocin within him that can’t be all nullified because of his testosterone. And the more testosterone he has, the more difficult this will be. Which is why the most alpha males(men with the highest testosterone counts) sleep with the most women and have the most difficult time with commitment. He just doesn’t feel it the way that you do. So a mans ability to want to stick around with you after sex isn’t just based on how soon or how late you have sex with him. It is based on how much oxytocin you’ve succeeded at getting him to produce before, and during the act. You wait too long and see him too infrequently, and he will have produced enough testosterone to get rid of it- and the attachment. Too soon, and there simply just isn’t enough yet.

Now let me just say that it is possible to make a man produce enough oxytocin in one day if you’re skilled, and if things line up with the other factors in play, but that’s another article altogether. I will elaborate more on this in my book for woman on how to successful seduce the man they want, but what I will say is that the less sperm a man is carrying over an extended period of time the less testosterone he will have. So if he has masturbated or had sex several days before meeting you and you’re skilled, he won’t have the testosterone available to nullify the oxytocin. Hence why older men are more willing to enter a commitment because a mans testosterone count lowers as he gets older. This is not something men are aware of. For the most part we’re just on autopilot responding to our nature. So my question is, why must men be held to the same commitment standards as women when we’re not even capable of feeling the same things that women are feeling for us biologically? Should a man born without sight  be forced to pass an eye exam lest he be cast away?

Why is it that the majority of mammals on the planet exist within a system that contains few males and many females? In a cow pen there is one bull, and a bunch of cows. Lion prides contain one lion and several lioness. In a herd of deer there is usually one alpha male deer that is responsible for impregnating 90% of the females in the herd. Even in a chicken coop there is usually one or two roosters( if the coop is big enough) and a bunch of hens and the one rooster is responsible for fertilizing all the eggs. What is that telling us about the nature of male creatures? Perhaps just more coincidences.

Lets dive into commitment from a male point of view:

When a woman meets a confidant alpha male who naturally attracts a lot of women what is the usual dynamic? Typically the Alpha male will not be looking to settle down with any one particular girl in the early years of his life, and so he will be developing  non-exclusive relationships with multiple women. Because the women like him, they will put up with it for a short time before pressuring him to commit to them exclusively over all of the other girls that he’s seeing. He’ll do one of two things: If he likes her he’ll do his best to comfort her and assure her that he does have feelings for her but he’s still not ready. In other words, he hasn’t been worn down enough.  Now if he doesn’t like her, he’ll just cut her off and/or make it clear to her that it’s not going to happen and she’ll walk away or stay until she finds someone willing.

All men who have high levels of success with women have been confronted with this dynamic multiple times. Often from two or three women all at once. We know that we chase women initially to lock in their interest and to win their compliance, and then she chases us after that to maintain our investment in her and to win our commitment. Commitment is almost never actually something that WE as alpha males want. Its something that we give to our women if we value them enough over time. If we had it our way, we would have several women who commit to us that we don’t actually commit to. And this is usually what’s going on. The majority of quality women that I know tell me they don’t feel comfortable sleeping with more than one man at a time. And so they’ll be committing to men in non- committed relationships anyway. This is all just due to their nature if their nature is intact; since a woman  can only carry the child of one man at a time. Men on the other hand are able to create thousands of children a year if we have the availability. And so a man’s natural and biological feelings will be in alignment with what his biological potential is. Because most women don’t feel this desire to their core, they can’t accept the fact that we legitimately do. The majority of quality men I know are all sleeping with multiple women until they find one suitable enough to build something with.

Ask a woman why hasn’t she had sex with a thousand attractive men yet? And she’ll say something like “  That’s gross, or I respect myself and I won’t just sleep with anyone”. Ask a guy why he hasn’t had sex with a thousand women yet and he’ll tell you that he just hasn’t had the time to, or hasn’t found  that amount of attractive women willing to sleep with him.

So if commitment to monogamy is something that we didn’t even want, but we gave to the woman we love as a reward for putting up with enough of our nonsense, should we not be allowed a cheat day as a reward to us for going against our nature by entering a committed relationship once every blue moon?

What women have to understand is that entering a committed relationship is a lot more simple for them. Women are turning down dozens of men every single day that are trying to sleep with them. So once they enter a relationship they don’t have to do anything new. They only have to continue turning down men same way they were doing before entering the commitment. Every day of a man’s life he is trying to get women to sleep with him either directly or indirectly. That’s our life. So once we enter a commitment we have to perform an action that is the complete opposite of the reality that we live every single day. We’re the only ones that have to struggle with taking up a new practice and a new behavior. The women, for the most part, get to remain the same, because after all, the commitment was something that she wanted. So she’s getting something that she wants, that is congruent with her daily behavior anyway. Its like getting paid to brush your teeth, take a shower, and then commute to work. You’ll do it whether you get paid or not, so to get paid for it is a double and unrealistic bonus. Imagine your boss saying “I’ll give you a two hundred dollar bonus on every check if you eat dinner when you get off work.”. Now of course you don’t have to, but you’re likely to do it anyway, so its easy money.

When people go on a diet, they reward themselves with a cheat day because they’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what they were used to every day of there life prior. So in that same light, why shouldn’t men be allowed a cheat day because we’ve successfully been able to commit to a new lifestyle that went against what we were used to everyday of our life prior? Why can’t our women say “ Wow.. You’ve successfully went against your biological nature and motivation to populate the earth and remained with one woman for a year. Go have a cheat day baby. “  Hell, if a woman would do something as simple as saying, ” Thank you for being faithful” it would make a world of difference in how her man felt about staying strong and honoring the commitment.

The modern day, new age feminist will tell you that monogamy is a social construct, and that is a lie. Monogamy for women is a biological construct. It’s embedded in their nature and their biological potential. Once again, sex wasn’t created for us to have pleasure, pleasure is just the emotional impetus so that we will have sex and procreate. Third wave feminism is atheism. You can’t believe in a higher power and think that our biological natures weren’t created with a purpose. But shout out to all of my feminists. Pardon me. This article isn’t for you.

So I want to wrap this up by reiterating that I am not encouraging women to run and tell their boyfriend “ go have a cheat day”, your feelings should matter as well. But what we’re not going to do is coddle childish emotions that aren’t validated by anything other than more emotion, and make decisions based off of that. The discussion can be had, perhaps your man is over that stage of his life, perhaps his T count isn’t where it used to be, and he’s had his fun already. I just think that we should all strive to understand one another a lot more.

In the eleventh chapter of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill said “ The woman who understand a man’s nature and tactfully caters to it, need have no fear of competition from other women. Men may be “giants” with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice.” And I completely agree with this statement. Its easy to say “only an insecure woman would go for something like this” and while an insecure woman may go for this out of necessity, a woman with the ultimate confidence may be willing to allow it because she understands.

I always tell women that men rule on the front end, we are the conscious mind and women are the subconscious mind. The subconscious is responsible for 80% of our thoughts and activity, but the thing is, the conscious mind doesn’t even know the subconscious mind is operating. A woman that understands her man and seeks to provide him with what he needs will rule her man. And the beauty of it all is, he won’t even have the slightest idea of whats going on. The insecure woman is controlled by her man, because she is trying to control him on the front end. The conscious end. Leave that to him, let him think he’s ruling.  He will feel a lot more comfortable with opening up and revealing his true feelings to you that way. The truly confident woman allows her man to have that 20% front end; the small battle, because she knows that ultimately she is ruling from behind the scenes; responsible for 80% of his activity. The women that get a thorough grasp on this, will never be short on a man that’s willing to commit to her and give her his everything.

For anyone further interested in an example of this topic you can check out this couple from Brooklyn, New York who have allowed two additional women into the relationship and are sharing one man between them three. The man and his first wife have been together for 17 years, the two other women have been with him and his wife for 11 years. How many of you have been with one person consistently for 5 years? And i’m not talking about breaking up and getting back together years later. I’m talking about a strong consistent five years. They’re all attractive women who could easily have a man to themselves if they truly wanted to. The women don’t sleep with each other, they don’t do threesomes, and there is not a sign of low self esteem insight. You can check that out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XaRjpjdui8

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

I’ve always believed in and written about the concept of  having an abundant mentality, but not until recent did I wrap my head around the concept in a way that I had never before. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

For one reason or another I’ve been getting approached by women more than I ever have in my life. Women have been approaching me indirectly and asking me questions to some of the most obvious questions. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman Eddie Fews
“Hey, excuse me do you have the time?” – While their phone is in their hand.

“Do you know how to get to “ 34th Street” – while we’re on 34th Street.

Right after I’d tell them, they’d always seem to linger around for about 5-7 seconds, waiting on me to continue the conversation. Now, while I normally engage with women I approach, I’ve been a bit thrown off by the gesture and, as a result, I’ve just stood there wondering if there was anything else they wanted to ask me before they nervously and reluctantly said “well okay…thanks” and walked away. Eddie Fews

Women have been behaving more like men toward me, and I realized that it was happening right around the time I started to think like a woman.

You see, a highly attractive woman has the ultimate abundance mentality. Guys are cat calling them, approaching them, and writing to them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter hundreds of times a day. As a result, they have no problem taking a break from the madness. They don’t mind putting their phone on silent or airplane mode and leaving it out of reach for a couple hours. They’ll cut a guy off that they were once into. They’ll even block certain guys on social media and on their phones so the guys can’t contact them if they wanted to. They’ll reject a quality guy, they’ll say no to “sex”, and they’ll walk away from a guy completely because they understand (and experience) that there will always be another attractive male trying to be in their life; there will always be another attractive male trying to sleep with them. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

That’s the difference between the mindset of guys who aren’t successful with women and the mindset of attractive women and men who are. The average joe won’t turn his phone on airplane mode, because he’s too afraid of missing out on an opportunity with a girl he likes. He won’t block a girl from contacting him – that he likes – even if she disrespects him, because he doesn’t want to miss out, if she decides to contact him. He won’t walk away from a girl he becomes somewhat emotionally attached to without trying everything he can first, because in his life, high quality women don’t come around often. He will never reject sex, if a woman throws it at him, and he will never turn down an attractive women that tries to come on to him. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

Now, what the average guy doesn’t realize is, because he “thinks” this way, because he tries to milk the most out every single opportunity with every attractive women that comes his way, he is developing a mindset that becomes a mild repellant to women. Consequently, he has to work a lot harder, chase women up & down, sell himself, and practically convince women that they should consider dating him. The mindset he has and the frame he projects makes women suspicious. They have to test him more, they have to screen him thoroughly, and they have to qualify him. Women aren’t just falling into his lap, because they get the intuitive sense that he would date anyone that was attractive. He seems to have no real standards beyond the surface, so she needs the guy to convince her. And if he’s has the gift of gab, but lacks the true “abundant female mindset”, she will find out that she’s been with a loser in a couple of months – that he wasn’t real, he just convinced her he was.

So, what men have to do is begin walking away from women that don’t live up to their standards. Not only is this going to make women build themselves up more, but it’s going to cause you to project a frame that says “ I HAVE STANDARDS, AND I WILL NOT DEAL WITH ANY WOMAN WHO DOESN’T LIVE UP TO THEM”. And thats the most attractive thing a man can do. A woman wants to feel chosen, she doesn’t want to feel like you settled for her. They want to feel special, they want to know that you could have dated any woman in this world if you wanted to, but you chose her because she is the one woman that met your standards. She is exactly the one you were looking for. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

So, as men we have to begin to develop standards beyond the surface, if we don’t have them already. Because, if all you require is for a woman to be attractive, thats all she will be. That’s a huge part of what is contributing to the madness we’re looking at on social media today. If she’s pretty enough, she can make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. What is this teaching the younger women? What does this make them feel they have to aspire to? There is a place for money to be made off of beauty, but that can’t be ALL our women are into. A young girl without the proper guidance or role models can instantly view that as her ticket to success. We all know that beauty fades, so when the looks wear off and even younger women replace them, what will we be left with?  Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

I think it’s wrong for us men to complain about women when we’re the ones that are not holding them to higher standards. And this goes for women too. If every woman decided today, that they would not sleep with a man that wasn’t an intellectual, every man would be walking around with a book in his hand. That would elevate society immediately. A lot of power is held by the standards on which we base attraction. Women hold that power over men, and men over women. So will complaining about each other change a thing? No. But collectively holding each other to higher standards will. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

And it all starts with each of us as individuals. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

You attract what you think. Think abundantly, speak abundantly, act abundantly, and you will find your life being filled with abundance very shortly. Women have been approaching me for the simple fact that I’ve been letting go of the ones who didn’t live up to my standards. I’m projecting something different. My mindset influences my frame, my frame influences my aura/presence, and these things contribute to what a woman will intuitively pick up from me when I walk into the room. And when they finally see something different, they may just take their shot, just as we men do.

So this is my PSA, if you will. Learn to walk away while there are still options left. It’s easy to walk away when you’ve tried everything else; that’s not abundance. The hard part is walking away when you may still have a chance, but you know that the woman is not up to your standard. The hard part is turning down sex from a woman who you know isn’t up to par. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

But once you begin to do that, the types of women you really want will take notice.

We can’t hide anything in this world. Everything we do, whether in public or in private, will determine what we project from within us. Every action, every word spoken, and every thought is emitted from us.

Emit abundance… Get abundance. Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman Eddie Fews

Peace & Love Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman

Eddie Fews Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman


Grab my ebook The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom by clicking here.

For coaching, consultations and all other inquiries email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

So You’ve Met Someone Special?

Is this your first time falling in love or has it happened before?

If this is the first time you’ve found someone special it is important that you understand that this someone special is going to come in your life again and again, and again, and again, and again. If this isn’t the first time, and you’re still referring to this someone special as “ someone special ” you’re an idiot.

Do not, and I repeat do not, give up the game just because you’ve met someone special. Settling down shouldn’t be some spontaneous decision that you make because you’ve met someone special. Settling down should only be something you do when you have been considering settling down for sometime; far before you met anyone special. When you allow a woman who is seemingly unique to cause you to change your course randomly who do you think is now leading the interaction? And how does flipping and flopping depending on who comes into your life on any given day effect your frame? Is that the frame of a leader or is that the frame of a more unstable man that blows with the wind? A man that goes wherever life takes him? Not a man that is in control, not a man who has the ability to create his own destiny. What would happen if we bought every item being offered at a “special” price at the electronic store despite having a mortgage that has to be paid? In any other aspect of our life do we let the potential of something special interfere with our priorities?

The moment you settle down before you’ve made the conscious decision to; a decision that should include a plan and a purpose, you are giving up your power. You are giving up the very thing that makes you attractive, and are potentially setting yourself up for oneitis, disappointment, and heartbreak.

Always trust you initial instinct. The feeling you get when you first meet a girl is likely going to be the most accurate description of where you should take your relationship. As guys we do that anyway; when we meet a girl we always make a note to decide mentally whether or not this girl is going to be a “ hit it and quit it, a friends with benefits, a girlfriend, a wife etc”. Now what happens when a girl that initially gave you the “hit it and quit” vibe gives you some amazing sex and so you decide to promote her to a friends with benefits spontaneously after the lay? What happens when you become even weaker after a few more ejaculations and she gets bumped to girlfriend? You get bumped to beta male in her mind. And because of your now weakened frame and you become food that will be used as emotional energy to fuel her to get the guy with a stronger frame.

We get emails from guys all the time that have had this happen to them and you know what the common theme is between them? They have all developed emotional dependence on these women and have waited until they were seconds from drowning to begin flapping their arms to call the life guard over for help.

Stick to your guns. 

If she wasn’t good enough for you in the beginning, its likely she just isn’t up to your standards. Don’t let the production of oxytocin(a bonding chemical created by cuddling, kissing, sex etc.)  influence your thoughts and cause you to take an action you had no intention of taking while your emotions were stable.

We have to be stronger than our emotions.

This will keep men from marrying prostitutes and wasting time with women who are below their standards. When a man meets a prostitute, what is likely his first thought? Whats his first instinct? To sleep with her, pay her, and leave; never to see her or talk to her again. And not that I’m advocating prostitution, but that is exactly what he should do. He should stick to his plan, a plan that likely wasn’t deluded by emotional manipulation when it was created.

Do not.. And I repeat do not give up the game until you’ve made that conscious and well thought out decision that you are ready. A decision that should have came LONG before you met “someone special”.

Develop a plan, decide what you want to do, and stick to it. Be a man. Stop being lead by emotions and affection from women. Your first thought is almost always the most accurate one.

Now, for the guys who are ready to settle down and the guys who are far too undeveloped in their game to heed to this advice; give every woman you consider settling down with a 90 day probation before you make the decision to commit to them. Women that are bad for you will likely blow themselves out in 90 days or less.

If she starts pressuring you to commit to her before that 90 days, just hold firm or let her walk if she is incapable of doing so. All women will put on a show initially, its the mating dance, its the act to get you to commit. Once they have that commitment the mask comes off and you are now dealing with the very thing that gave you that initial gut feeling in the first place.

Its just like the girl who’s place is always clean when you first meet them. The girl that eventually starts leaving dishes around and before you know it, her place is a complete mess every time you come over.

Trust your gut. I can’t say my gut has always been right, but it has been right 95% of the time and those are odds that I have to take. I’m not going to let the potential fantasy of some hollywood romance movie interfere with me takin charge and being the leader of my own life.

Men, do yourselves a favor.. Stop being taken by love. Ask yourself why do you want to be in a relationship? For what purpose. What can a relationship offer you at this point of your life that a friends with benefits can’t? And if you can’t come up with anything good enough; you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. You’re just doing it because you think its what you’re suppose to do. Men are jumping in relationships with women everyday now that are offering nothing. I would hope that after a woman pressures you to escalate your situationship into a relationship that something new would come with the offer. She gets the commitment she wants, but what do you get? 9 times out of 10 in todays time you’ll get absolutely nothing.

There was a time in which women withheld on sex, affection, and full submission until after they received commitment, but that time is not today. When will we stop buying cows that are already offering us the milk for free?

Be the leader. Stop following feelings. Leave that to the more feminine in nature.

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom: Click Here 

Having Standards Will Help You Control Your Emotional Attachments

One of the most common issues I come across with men who are looking to improve their success with women is that they have no idea what it is they want outside of physical appearance. They don’t have a type, any standards , or a quality they’re looking for. They’re not approaching women because they’re interested in the woman they’re approaching. Men are approaching women because they’re interested in validating their ego by “capturing” or obtaining the conquest that is set before them. It’s all about the challenge of “Can I get her?” and none of it is about, “Is she a fit for me?” When an approach is made from this perspective the man approaching puts all the pressure on himself to be, say, or do whatever he needs to so that he can accomplish his mission. His approach is then about feeling validated. The woman becomes the one who is in power; because, she becomes the key holder for which the man is searching—whether she realizes it or not. If she says “yes,” then the man feels validated and inflated. If she says no, then the opposite happens. Therefore, any man approaching a woman from this perspective is simply playing a numbers games. His approaches are completely subject to chance—the girl’s mood, the weather, how many other guys tried to approach her that day, etc. Not only does this approach reduce a guy’s probability of success to mere chance, but it also creates a host of other future issues that I’ll be covering below.

You see, a man’s visual nature is the main reason this happens. As men, we often find ourselves ridiculing women for their emotional nature—faulting women for making illogical decisions based on how they feel as opposed to what may be best for them. But how often do we make decisions based on what we SEE as opposed to what may be best for us? How often do we chase the beautiful outside yet shitty inside type of girl to no avail? How often do we care about anything other than what she looks like, what her phone number is and when we can get her alone? Now, in no way am I condemning the pursuit of beauty. Being physically attractive is one of the traits the women in our lives must have, but that should be a given and nothing more. That should only be what makes us give them consideration. It shouldn’t  be what makes us interested beyond a conversation. No more than we would require water to be clear and without debris before we consider drinking it, should we require a woman to be attractive before we consider being interested in her. Now could clear water still be contaminated?  Absolutely. And in the same light beautiful women could still very well be contaminated physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Therefore as men, we need to be more concerned with a woman’s contents than with how clear and visibly drinkable she may be on the outside. Now if all you’re looking for is a friends with benefits situation or a one-night stand while you’re out approaching women then by all means proceed, so long as your intentions have been communicated. (Now, I think we should also raise our standards beyond just beauty for the type of women we’re looking to be friends with benefits with as well.) But the problem i’m discovering is that too many guys are getting emotionally attached to these women that they haven’t investigated for contamination before deciding to drink from them. As a result, they’re getting emotionally sick and distraught when things don’t work out.

So how should you approach?

First of all, what is it that you want? Do you even know? Are you aware of the qualities, attributes, or type of history you require as a standard for a woman you’re giving the time of day? We all know women want to feel special; they want to feel “CHOSEN” not as if you’ve settled for them. They want to know that you could’ve selected any woman you wanted , but you decided on her because she met your requirements. Her emotional attachment to you will be partially based upon how much thought and energy you put into choosing her. Now if you just chose her because she was attractive it’s going to be a challenge for her to put her trust in you because she sees attractive women all time. How many of them could easily replace her? If that’s all it took for you to want to be with her; that’s all it’ll take for you to want to be with another woman. With that being said, when you approach a woman you must approach her to find out whether or not she meets your standards (once you get some). I know I don’t want a woman who doesn’t have a decent relationship with her father, because her relationship with her father has potential to be a reflection of her relationship with me. Now if the dads isn’t available or if she’s made a concerted effort to reach out to him in attempt to build a relationship, then that’s entirely different from a woman who doesn’t have the desire for a relationship with her father. So when I am out talking to women one of the very first conversations I have with her or listen for or discuss is how they easily they bring up, praise, or talk about their dads. Upon consistent hearing healthy mentions of her dad, or statements about their relationship, I decide that I can invest a bit more interest in her. I also don’t want a woman who has had a large number of sexual partners. For several psychological, physical, emotional and spiritual reasons; one of which this chart talks about below:

 

The more sexual partners a woman has had before marriage the more likely she is to be a contributor to an unhappy, unstable marriage. I’ve spoken before about the more a woman gives something up the less value she will begin to put on that what she’s given up. Where most virgins will develop a strong emotional attachment after sex, highly promiscuous women will put less value on sex and develop less attachment to the people because of how frequently she’s already done it.

Now these are just a few of several of my standards. And don’t make my standards your standards just because you’re reading this article (unless of course they resonate). What are your standards? List them. When you approach a woman, make sure a good deal of the conversation you have with her centers around whether or not she fits your standards. Also understand during this process that no woman is going to meet every single standard on your list; but, let’s say you have nine core standards that you’re looking for in a woman. If she meets six to seven of those standards she’s definitely someone you could continue  dating and seeing as a potential for something more.

Now this process benefits us in a few ways… It allows the women we date to value us as someone who isn’t interested in dating just any woman and trust us more because of this. It also allows us to have a more realistic perspective on the women we’re dealing with before we become too emotionally invested. What I’ve discovered from my own life and the guys that i’ve worked with is that once we’re emotionally invested, (and god help us if we’re emotionally invested on looks alone) the less we want to know the real details about the women we’re dealing with. We fall victim to the fantasy. We want to believe that the woman we’re interested in is some magical fairy just because we have feelings for her. Surely our ego won’t allow us to feel like we could become emotionally invested in some girl who has lived her whole life in such a way that is destructive to her future and ours. Surely we’re emotionally smarter than that… Or are we?

When you find out on the first or second day of dealing with a woman that she has ten children by ten different men and that she’s been on and off drugs her whole life, you’re more likely to decide that she’s probably not for you. But lets say you met this same woman and took interest in her because she was beautiful. And lets say you spent thousands of dollars, lots of time, and energy going on dates, sleeping with her, and developing strong emotional connections without the conversation of her children and drug abuse ever coming up in the conversation. Then later it casually comes out after all of this investment. Could you still walk away given all that you’ve invested?  I’ve known  a number of guys who ended up marrying women who were prostitutes all simply because they didn’t discover who the woman truly was until after they were mentally, physically, and financially so invested that they developed a emotional attachment with the women far too strong for them to do anything about it.

So when you approach a woman and do so from a position of “I know I am good enough, I’m just here to find out if you meet my requirements” not only does it put you in an attractive position of leadership, but it also saves you a lot of emotional investment for someone who may or may not be worth it. It gives you a realistic view point of them. It keeps you from putting them on a pedestal. It gives you a clarity of vision so that you can deal with them accordingly. Once this is done; the woman has no choice but to be emotionally connected to your process of “choosing” as opposed to your process of settling just because you like the way that she looks.

Lets get some standards guys. Grab a pen and paper or open up a note file on your smart phone, and list standards that you’re going to require the future women you approach to meet if you’re going to consider investing in them. Do research, find legitimate standards so that you can discuss them with others if necessary. You’ll be saving yourself a lot of time and energy, and you’ll come across much more attractive to all the women you approach in the future.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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Give Credence To The Support Of A Woman

I was sitting inside of my uncles awning office earlier and I had begun thinking about my weekend. It was one of my close friends birthday this weekend and although I didn’t feel like going out; I had to go out and get him wasted like I promised.

So here I am – the guy that doesn’t drink, out with a bunch of old friends while they pre-game. We’re laughing, joking, and eventually we end up at The Woods in Williamsburg Brooklyn. I’m doing the usual lookout for attractive women, and the girl next to me is “accidentally ” rubbing her breast against my arm. I pay it no mind initially, so she leans over into me and says ” What’s going through your mind right now “. I’m like ” I’m just enjoying the moment.. What is your name”. She lets me know her name, we shake hands, and after a bit of small talk her boyfriend walks over to save his relationship. I introduce myself to him and then head off to buy my friend a few more drinks before I head out of here.

I get the drinks, hang out for a bit and then on my way to the door I spot a beautiful girl in a white dress. She’s walking right by me and on instinct I gently grab her wrist as to say ” Hey slow down.. I’m falling for you “. She turns, we lock eye contact, and for a moment it almost feels like we know each other. There was a full eight seconds spent in pure silence before either of us said anything. Eventually she smiled and I just went in to hug her. She introduced herself in this beautiful English accent all while telling me that she won’t be in the country for much longer. My mind began to scramble  and disappointment was creeping in so I ask her to come with me. She frowned and apologized for not being able to. I go for the number, but she has no working phone in America. She says she’ll add me on Facebook as I reluctantly let her go and make my way to the door.

Right before I reach the exit I spot another cute girl in a turquoise dress sitting at the corner of the bar. I walk on over to her, throw my arm around her shoulder and say ” Hey, I’m headed out, but your super hot; so this is me asking for your number ” She looks at my eyes suspiciously looking for any signs that she can trust me in there and  says ” What’s your name”. I say ” Eddie ” and I smile. She gives me that ‘you’re lucky you’re cute ‘ look an says ” okay I’ll give you my number “. I get the number, we talk for another minute and then I head home.

  The next day around six in the evening I text the girl wearing the turquoise dress.

Me: ” You going out tonight? “

Her: ” How and where did we meet again? I’m sorry I don’t really remember “

Me: “Lol last night.. You were sitting at the bar. I walked over, threw my arm around you, and got you number before I left “

Her: ” Haha I don’t remember at all. A lot of people were throwing their arms!” 

Me: ” Can you blame them? You were looking all fiiiinnnnnnnnneeee “

Her: ” Lol would you mine sending me a photo to refresh my memory ” 

Me: ( I sent her my facebook)

Her:” I was planning on catching a bus to go to providence at 10:30pm since I’m getting bored here. Would you like to meet up for dinner before?”

At this point I call her and boy was she’s cool. It turns out that she was visiting a friend of hers in NYC and had to leave this very night. I explain to her that there’s no need to go to back to providence just yet. I tell her she can stay with me and head back home in the morning. We go back and forth for a bit and then she agrees. I text her my address and she texts me to remind me that she’s over 6 feet tall before she comes. I chuckled… Awesome!

When she gets in my place, naturally her defenses were up. She was a little standoffish and aloof; what I believe was a challenge to the confidence I displayed over the phone. I felt the energy as soon as she walked in the room, but this is my apartment so I’m cool. At the end of the day, if I was smooth enough to get  her to come , I can get her to come again. Ya feel me? 🙂

So she tells me she’s hungry, as she did on the phone.  So I head to my kitchen to see if I have any food. There was nothing that wouldn’t take over 30 mins to cook. But no worries, I figure I’ll just order her something from GrubHub.

On the way back to my laptop to log onto GH, I see her on sitting on my sofa with my computer in her lap. I walk on over to her and as she feels me near she looks up with wide eyes and says ” YOU’RE HITCH!? “

  I smile, snatch my computer from her and say ” who said you could look through my stuff? “

She repeats the question from before, but calmer this time around.

I reply ” yes “

She tests me immediately ” so what are you going to do when this doesn’t work out? “

I laughed an said ” I’m actually doing okay”

I let her go through the stuff she was looking at. After reading my testimonials, she started to relax a bit. She realized that I wasn’t what she thought. 

She’s one of those girls that hear about pick up lines and say things like ” that would never work on me “.

And here she was, square in my living room with one of the guys who teaches the ” that would never work me” material.

She asks me a million questions, I order her food, and put on Don Jon when the food arrives. At this point we’re having a little small talk during the movie; an since the movies about porn it was natural that our conversation would transition into sex. Halfway through the movie, I suggest we watch the rest in my bed. She agrees and off we go. While in my bed I honestly wanted to turn the movie off and get to making out. I could tell she wanted to do the same, but for whatever reason I decide to suffer through it; just so I can ” finish what I start”(whatever that means).   Once the movies over she turns over an faces the wall and I’m laying there like 0_o.

I give it  about two minutes just to see if she makes a move that would suggest that she’s ready to go at it.. 

*Two Minutes later* 

  She’s laying there still – not moving. 

So I reach an lightly pull on her shoulder; suggesting her to turn around and she turns around instantly. Now we’re making out, and she’s awesome at it. Soft lips; and she knows exactly what to do with her hands during the process… I’m in heaven… I touch her everywhere I want an she shows no resistance. She’s into me; and i’m into her.

Hooking up with tall women has been a bit awkward for me in the past; but this one knows exactly what she’s doing. I don’t even look at tall women the same anymore. I tell her all of this by the way; and she’s pleased she gets to set the tone for all of the tall women I may decide to encounter in the future.

I’m constantly praising the women I’m with; and their praising me as a result. It’s like we’re playing this ” I bet I can raise your confidence more than you can raise mine ” game. It’s competitive and a win- win for the both of us.

I started loving this girl.. it was weird.

So as the story continues – unfortunately, but maybe fortunately I didn’t have a condom… We each thought about it not using one, but you know.. shit gets real out here.

I like to think that us not having sex, kept a certain level of desire between us for each other. And when there’s women out there having that “desire” for you, it’s energy that adds to your overall vibe. Girls can feel a guy who is desired by women; so the more you have women as a whole desiring you, the more they’ll feel that energy coming off of you – vice versa.

When you have sex and ejaculate most of the time there is this depleted feeling. Its almost as if you’re ejaculating all of the emotions you had for the girl prior right out of your penis.  And all desire for you have for them leaves; which eventually leads to the desire they have for you leaving. Women love men that love women – women desire men who desire women. Although, when you’re working with injaculation that desire remains, but injaculation is  hit or miss for me; it’s something i’m still working on.

Anyways..

We made out and touched each other the whole night.. I made her squirt with my fingers a couple times and then she warned me that if I continue I would be needing a new bed. I decided to take her advice on that one. I’ve had those experiences in the past, and it does make sleeping difficult. So after a bit more; we cuddle it out until the morning. She wakes up thankful, I wake up thankful and we talk a bit, before I call her cab so she could head back to Rhode Island.

Before she goes, I ask her when she’ll be in New York again, and  she informs me that she’s moving in two weeks to become a teacher in Hawaii. Naturally we have to let it go; and before she walked out the door, the look she gave me and the look I gave her suggested that if we ever saw each other again it would be on.

She entered the taxi, drove away, and I thought about taking a trip to Hawaii…

1024px-Pokai_Bucht_auf_Oahu

Moral Of The Story: 

I selected this story because even after this day; me and this girl still maintain a decent level of rapport over a distance. It’s always nice to have women texting you just to let you know you’re still on their mind and that you’re awesome. 

This girl in particular texted me to “thank me” a few days later; and i’m the one that thought I should be thanking her. I was good to her though; I was kind and generous, and because of this she is always going to be sending positive energy my way – which will fuel the “good karma/good luck” that will be coming into my life. We should begin to see all the people who come into our lives as opportunities to be add value to the life of another in whatever way we can. That energy always comes back around to assist us when we need it. When I was younger and less self aware; I would sleep with women and call them cabs the same night. I was cold and women could feel that energy coming off of me. It made attracting the highest of quality women more of a challenge. Now these same women flock to me a bit more than they used to. It’s a woman’s intuition;I read somewhere that female intuition is fifteen times stronger than a male intuition. We get physical strength and they’re a bit more psychic than we are; instinctively women just know when we aren’t being genuine. Its not like they hear a clear voice in their heads about it; alarms just go off and they slowly but surely begin losing attraction for the violater. I know it sounds like some “spooky” hogwash, but this is real – ask any other guy that does halfway decent with women.

Women are people; they have souls and if you’re going to have a sexual experience with them; treat them like it. 

Just take a look at the world we live in today. Seventy percent of all music is bought by women, seventy percent of clothing, concert tickets, books, shoes, etc is all bought by women. So who is it that are actually supporters of the world? If you had to align yourself with a support system; which group would be better to align yourself with? Men or women? You know how it goes; the man makes the money and the woman spends his money.

Guys have this “bro’s over hoes” mentality and I do agree with it on some level. Don’t let some new girl walk into your life and destroy a friendship, but there is a level in which this doesn’t apply. It is for this reason that I do business with men and spend leisure time with women. Now of course I have my brothers, but more off then not you’ll find me hanging out with women.

Men tend to get jealous of each other and the ego begins to run its course. We see each other as competition. So we don’t buy each others music as much, we don’t buy each others books, clothes, etc. because we’re looking for people to buy ours. Now if we only knew that if they bought others music more, others would buy our music more things would change. And thats a whole different topic for a different time, but this is something women understand. Which is part of the reason it looks like they’re taking over the planet.

Instinctively women don’t see men as their competition, so it’s much easier for a woman to show their support to a man than it is for a man to do the same.

Let take wildlife in nature for example. How often do you see male animals hanging out with other male animals? 

You see one lion and 4-5 lionesses. 

One rooster and fifteen hens. 

One bull and ten cows. 

800px-Pride_leader

Nature sets the example; so I believe it is wise to align ourselves with more women. The support they offer is unparalleled to the majority of the support you’re going to get from any man .  And There’s nothing wrong with getting laid, but when you do, be kind. Lay there with them the extra thirty minutes even when you don’t want to. You’ll probably want to have sex again after that time is up anyway. But even if you don’t, they’ll appreciate that extra time. And the support they offer you will be well worth it. Thats something you can’t buy. 

 If i’ve ever learned anything from dealing with the opposite sex; I’ve learned that you can never out give a woman. There’s a level of selflessness within them that allows them behave in this manner; whether that be for positive or negativity. That old bible verse cliche ” Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn” has been perpetuated through society for a reason.   

 Now this write does apply to men as well as it applies to men; I’ve just advising that we be a bit more conscious when dealing with women. And in no way am I encouraging you to take shit for anyone; women included. Know your boundaries and hold everyone else to them, but as long as people are operating within them there is no reason not to be kind. Be sexual, be assertive, and be confident, but most important of all.. Be KIND. 

Peace & Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here