The Food Is Destroying Masculinity

7 Years ago I became a vegan. I did it cold turkey the moment I read a research paper that detailed the link between the food we ate and how it affected the way we behave, the way we think, and how we feel. There’s an old cliche that you literary are what you eat, but many don’t understand how deep that statement actually goes. The number of people being diagnosed with both anxiety and depression are continuing to sky rocket, and most of us aren’t taken into account the depression and anxiety experienced by the animals that we’re eating right before they’re slaughtered. If we take the statement literal, that we are what we eat, can it not also be said that if we eat depression and anxiety that we can experience depression and anxiety? If we all had to watch a video showing exactly how the food sitting still in our supermarket actually got there, most of us would choose another option.

As I continued my research through the years I was led to plethora of information that was detailing exactly how the food we were eating, and it’s additives were turning the male dominant hormone Testosterone into the female dominant hormone Estrogen. Thus, it was affecting the way both men and women thought, behaved, and felt. We’ve all heard how irrational pregnant woman can behave when their bodies are producing the “pregnancy hormones”, but why haven’t we heard about how irrational all us can behave when the food we’re eating is literary altering and changing our hormones as well?

It’s no surprise that we have gang of women complaining that “men aren’t men anymore” just as we have a gang of men complaining that “women aren’t women anymore”. The food the majority of us are eating and the water we’re drinking is literary reengineering our hormones every hour of every day. It’s reengineering the way we think, the way we feel, and the way we respond to every day life.

We seem to think that our thoughts are us, but this isn’t true. The way we “feel” isn’t always genuine to who we are. Advertisers spending billions of dollars in research every year learning new ways to use visual stimuli to make us “feel” what they want us to feel so that we can buy their products. And they’re incredibly effective at this. The western worlds culture is consumption; we buy things we don’t need more than anyone else in the world.  We even go so far as to go into debt, just so that we can buy things we don’t need.  Are these truly our desires? Or are we being advertised to, and marketed to so effectively, that our subconscious is being supplanted with desires deep enough that they feel like they’re our own? The detergent you buy isn’t necessarily the one you like the most, it’s largely the one that’s been supplanted into your subconscious the most through advertisement. These companies aren’t spending billions of dollars on these things for no reason, they spend the money because they know it works.

The videos games on your phone, Netflix, and your favorite commercials all understand this process. They use a continuum loop that keeps your interest. This loop makes it almost impossible to not enjoy it, and to just want to see the next episode. When we’re up all night binging, our bodies actually want to go to sleep, but our “feelings” tell us to keep on watching.

The food industry is having the most success at this, and I write this to reiterate that our feelings aren’t us. Nor should we listen to our feelings just because we feel them. Many people wouldn’t be able to enjoy freedom today if they listened to their anger at times when it was high just because they felt it.

I believe this is the main reason societies were always given a moral compass in literature form. Whether that be the bible, the Koran, the 42 laws of MA’AT etc. Man always had the option to ask himself, “is what I FEEL like doing in alignment with this “divine” scripture?” If the answer was no, man would have to be strong enough to be better than how he felt. If the answer is yes, man was free to indulge. If all man ever did was go off of the way that he felt, society would be in complete chaos.  Feel like stealing? Steal. Feeling like running the red light? Run it. Laws have always been in place and will always need to be in place to help society be better than just the way they feel.

So i’m writing this, because I intend to tell you a few ways that this is directly being done through the food. Lets start with Atrazine.

Atrazine

In short, Atrazine is pesticide that is currently sprayed on over 80% of your crops across America. A chemical that is currently banned in over 75 countries around the world, but yet we still use it here in one of the worlds most dominate super powers. The first time I heard about Atrazine it was from a Harvard Graduate Biologist that is now a Biology professor at the University California named Tyrone Hayes. He brought forth information that suggested, that the chemical atrazine causes a dramatic reduction of Male Chromosomes at levels which are three times lower than what is currently appearing in our drinking water. Tyrone Hayes has been at war with Syngenta(the company that produces the chemical) ever since he was silenced after presenting what he found. Even though Syngenta themselves were the company that hired him to research it. Atrazine affects men negatively, by literally shrinking their gonads, or causing them to hormonally become women, but it also affects women, causing low estrogen levels and irregular menstruation. After Tyrone had given this chemical to frogs he noticed that it literary turned one in ten frogs male frogs into females. Tyrone B. Hayes, the Professor Of Integrative Biology states:

““These male frogs are missing testosterone and all the things that testosterone controls, including sperm. So their fertility is as low as 10 percent in some cases, and that is only if we isolate those animals and pair them with females,” he said. “In an environment where they are competing with unexposed animals, they have zero chance of reproducing.”

“The 10 percent or more that turn from males into females – something not known to occur under natural conditions in amphibians – can successfully mate with male frogs but, because these females are genetically male, all their offspring are male.”

Now are we to say that a chemical that literary converts Male frogs into Female frogs, and causes the male frogs to begin engaging in sexual activity with other male frogs has no effect on us? This is a chemical that we use 80 million pounds of a year here in the USA. A chemical banned in over 75 countries. Its in all of your water, and in the majority of you non-organic food. Heres his video below if you would like more info, but lets move on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP-6Gp5RbjQ

Soy

The first time I heard about the ill effects of Soy I was listening to an radio show featuring Dick Gregory in which he was the discussing the suspicions that begin to arise in him when he noticed that soy was suddenly popping up all over the ingredients list on the majority of conventional food products. In turn, he hired a woman that he paid a million dollars to spend a year researching the product and its effects on humans. Dick stated that after the three weeks he had gotten a phone call from the researcher who was in tears; weeping, and sobbing barely able to formulate a sentence. In a fit of depression and sadness she said to him “ I had been wondering why my daughter was a lesbian this entire time. And I am started to learn it was because I was feeding her soy milk since she was a child. “

Soy infant formula puts your baby’s health at risk. Nearly 20 percent of U.S. infants are now fed soy formula, but the estrogens in soy can irreversibly harm your baby’s sexual development and reproductive health. Infants fed soy formula take in an estimated five birth control pills’ worth of estrogen every day. Infants fed soy formula also have up to 20,000 times the amount of estrogen in circulation as those fed other formulas! Let the alone the direct links between soy and Brain Damage and Breast Cancer.

The consumption of Soy literary triggers the Aromatase Enzymes in the body to begin converting the male dominate hormone Testosterone into the female dominate hormone Estrogen. And as I already stated, a persons chemical and hormonal make up will affect their behavior. Just look at commercials for many pharmaceuticals that state that “ If you begin developing thoughts of suicide, stop taking immediately and contact your doctor”. In other words ” This medication can change your thoughts.” And had it not been for that fore warning, most would think those thoughts were genuine. What other thoughts are produced from many of the chemical laced GMO foods we eat everyday that no one is talking about?

Give a child processed sugar and chemically laced candy and watch their behavior immediately become affected. I’ve seen parents feed their children candy and then punish them for being overly hyper and not being able to sit down or be still. How backwards is that?

Here a few more chemicals with links to further research that we all consume daily that are literary turning male testosterone into estrogen, and female estrogen into testosterone.

BPA Plastic(Bisphenol A) – Anything you Consume that comes in plastic has BPA. BPA is an endocrine disruptor that mimics the effects of estrogen and interferes will all hormone levels, cell signaling systems, and genetic messages. 6 billion pounds of this is used a year.

Fluoride – Fluoride is found heavily in all of our tap water, tooth paste, salts, and almost 90% of our bottled water as well. Tooth Paste states that if you swallow a piece sized amount of fluoride you should call a doctor, yet we put it into our mouths to brush our teeth with it. Almost as if the mouth doesn’t absorb what we put into it through the walls of our skin into our blood stream. Ingesting fluoride does create hormone dysfunction, low testosterone, cardiovascular diseases, and cancer.

DioxinDioxins are a toxic byproduct of various industrial processes that are ingested in the fat of meats and dairy products. All of our conventional meat products and dairy products contain this chemical Dioxin, that decreases the sperm count, lowers testosterone levels, and raises estrogen levels in the body.

Lead, Mercury, Phthalates, Perchlorate, PFCs, Arsenic, and Glycol ethers are just a few more chemicals that we are willingly putting into our bodies each and every day that are literary reengineering our hormones – altering the way that we behave and think. I would advise anyone reading to do further research on these chemicals. Everyone has different levels of immunity, therefore some are much more susceptible to the effects of these chemicals than others, but we ALL are affected by them one way or another.

Which only leads me to finally ask.. What effect do you think these chemicals have on a developing fetus still growing in its mothers womb that has yet to fully develop its immune and endocrine systems? If a mother pregnant with a male child is consuming chemicals that are directly converting his testosterone into estrogen every single day that he is in the womb, what effect does this then have on the male child that is born? That’s a conversation that our society of today is probably too sensitive to have, but it’s something I want the readers to think about.

In closing, I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman we should all be protecting ourselves from things that chemically alter our minds and bodies. I’m not saying go vegetarian or vegan, I’m just saying that we should care about what we’re eating. If you’re going to eat meat, make sure you get it free ranged; free of the antibiotics and the hormones these animals are being pumped with that allow them survive in conditions unfit for anything to live in. Read your “ingredients” labels on everything you buy. If you can’t pronounce it, or if you don’t know what it is without doing a google search don’t eat it. Filter your water as well. All of these additives that you can’t pronounce or that you don’t know without a google search will alter thought, feeling, and behavior in some way.

I’ve noticed dramatic changes in both myself an many of my friends that applied this information. Before this journey I remember times when I would get “sad” at random – a random wave of depression if you will. Come to find out it wasn’t random at all; I just wasn’t as hormonally balanced as I am now. Nowadays I couldn’t tell you the last time I wasn’t happy. I’ve been emotionally consistent ever since I fully detoxed myself of the build up of these listed chemicals.

This is something we all can do. With the rise of the mental health conversations today we need to do more talking about the way the food we’re eating is directly affecting our mental health. The body, mind, and the spirit are all connected. The things that affect our bodies affect our minds, the things that affect our minds affect our spirits. There is no “spirituality” without physical health. Protect yourself.

I’m going to end this with MF DOOM who makes a song about all of the things I listed here. The lyrics start  ” There they go feminizing men again, they pretend they don’t know when we know it’s xenoestrogen.”

Eddie Fews


For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com – ask about my free 15 minute consultation.

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ by Clicking Here 

How To Know If A Man Really Loves You

If there is one thing I’ve learned on my journey of coaching both men and women in this field, it’s that women put a whole lot more stock into the things guys say than we do.

As men we enjoy getting positive reactions from women and so we can find ourselves being loose with our tongues vainly trying to give a woman good feelings and make her smile.

However, these aren’t things that we actually connect with in the way that women do . Early on in a woman’s dating life they take our words seriously, and after many let downs they can find themselves in a space in which they just don’t believe what men say anymore.

I know a number of women that have said that all men to them are “guilty” as  liars until proven innocent. That they pretty much nod “uh huh” to themselves while men offer words of affection. And the truth of the matter is they are 100% right for doing this.

We’ve all heard the expression that actions speak louder than words. And as a result of this I tell all the women I coach and work with to receive a man saying, “ I love you” as just a compliment – no different than him saying ,“ I like your hair” until his actions say different. A man saying, “ I love you”, to a woman does not mean that he wants to be with her. All it really means is that you are giving him good feelings and emotions in this moment and so he’s expressing that to you.

A great movie gives him good feelings too, but that doesn’t mean he wants to watch that movie and that movie only for the rest of his life. This is where women get it confused, because they don’t operate like this.

Women feel deeper than we do, and they usually take the time out to consider their feelings and analyze their feelings much more than we do. So when a woman says ,“ I love you”, it has more of a meaning to her. She’s often thought about it, has reasons that she respects you whether she can explain them or not, and has decided to put her trust in you. So naturally, women- on some level- think early on in their dating lives that when we talk love, it is after careful consideration, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

What many of us don’t understand is that “love” is a feeling just like anger is a feeling. It’s an explosion of oxytocin, dopamine, and other hormones in the body that are being released into the blood stream due to the stimuli we are dealing with. So, a mans interpretation of love is often ,“ I feel these hormones and I am expressing them”, but this is surface level infatuation – not love. This is not the way an emotionally mature woman interprets love.

As men we have to be mindful of this, and we have to become conquerers of these hormonal explosions. We often do this with fear and anger, but do so with love as much. Just as we don’t allow irrational fears to hold us back, nor do we react to our anger every time we feel it, we shouldn’t react to love every time it is felt either.

It takes time to know you love a woman. You can only know you love a woman by her consistently keeping up with the behaviors that produce feelings of “love” over time. Anyone can be consistent for a month or two, but can they keep making mental, spiritual, and physical contributions to that “love” over a long period of time? That’s the test, that’s how you know there is any merit or reason you should accept the “feeling” of the love.

For the women who find themselves confused on whether or not a man loves you i’ll provide a break down. I do this because many women are in relationships with men who are abusing them whether physically or emotionally in the name of love. Other women allow a man’s expression of “love” to be the reason they remain attached to a relationship that they shouldn’t be attached to.

When you consider whether or not a man loves you, you must first ask yourself two questions.  First, what else does he love that isn’t you? Get a pen and a paper and make a list of all of  the things he has expressed love for. And now ask yourself,“ How much of what he loves does he share with me?” For example if a man really loves his mother, and has expressed that, have you met his mother? Have you spoken to her? How much of his mother has he shared with you? If a man really loves his car, see if he’ll let you drive his car.

The second  question and most important one is, “What does he have the least of?”, and how much of that does he share with you? Grab a pen and a paper and make a list of everything he doesn’t have much of and ask yourself how much of that does he share. Let’s say the guy you’re with doesn’t have a lot of money. How much of the money that he does have, is  he willing share with you?

Any billionaire can spend money on a woman and it’s meaningless to him because he has so much. It’s no big deal to throw some money away and proclaim love due to it. Now let’s take that same billionaire and let’s say he doesn’t have a lot of “free time”. How much of his free time does he give you? And if he really loves you, how much of his “used up” time does he allow you to become a part of?  Does he bring you along during times in which he would normally be alone?

This is how you use a man’s actions to determine if he’s truly connected to the emotions that he’s expressing. If these two aspects aren’t in place then his love is nothing more than a compliment. And you must treat it that way. That is the only way he’ll take bigger and wider steps to expressing that love in action.

He must see that that love just being expressed by his word is not good enough for you. And this doesn’t just go for the word “love”, this goes for “like”, him saying he’s “interested” and anything else. Those two questions are still relevant, just to a lesser degree.

This is how women save themselves from the dreaded “fuck boys” they are complaining about today. And let’s not just blame them, you women have to keep your own emotions in check just as well. Most men do believe themselves when they start expressing a genuine interest in you. They’re confused by their own feelings that changes later when they realized that it wasn’t “love” or “like” the way they initially thought it was love and like. It was a passing phase of hormones into the blood stream that are gone now that they have had their experience with you. But, when a guy shares what he loves with you, and shares what he has the least of with you, he will become invested into you and connected to you on a level deeper than words. You become wired into the fabric of his being; and that is what you want.

Guys only cast women to the side that they don’t have stock in. When there is no stock, there is no expected return of investment. When there is no expected return of investment, they don’t make any effort toward getting that return. They give what they don’t need, and then move on when they’re done. When a man gives you things that he values he finds it hard to let you just “walk away”, and then becomes emotionally invested in making sure you don’t walk away. He must share with you the things that he loves and then things that he has the least of to develop that burning desire to want to work to keep you around.  When held to that standard the men not for you will blow themselves out of your life before you even begin to get emotionally invested.

If you’re a man or woman that needs help with your relationship  Click Here to send me an email. Thanks For Reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com – ask about my free 15 minute consultation.

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Now by Clicking Here 

11 Things Rich People Do That Poor People Don’t

Although my dating and social development material is necessary for personal growth, I do want to make a point to begin writing about money. Money allows us to date, money affords us greater freedom to be creative, and money allows us to support a family. I recently ran into some research by way of Author Thomas Corley, who documented the daily habits of 233 wealthy people and 128 of those less fortunate for five years. Thomas Corley states that it is not just about what’s going on in business that allow some to build wealth,  it is also their daily habits and activities that are responsible for the reason some are wealthy and some aren’t.

Before I divulge into the research let me just say that there is no guarantee that if you do all these things you will become rich. Nor are these habits all that these people are doing to become rich, but I do believe it’s obvious that the more characteristics you share with the rich the higher your chances of being rich. If you did everything Kobe Bryant did on and off the basketball court, there’s no guarantee you would be as good as him, but you would be a lot better than most. So here are a few things rich people do differently than poor people.

1. 80% of wealthy make Happy Birthday calls vs. 11% of poor.

Anyone familiar with the law of attraction understands that you reap what you sow. Those that go out of their way to “give” are always “given to.” Even if that giving is just warm feelings of appreciation. A smile for someone else today could turn into a dollar for you tomorrow. Money is energy; you give energy helpful to others and you get energy helpful to you.

2. 70% of the wealthy eat less than 300 junk food calories per day. 97% of poor people eat more than 300 junk food calories per day.

Although health is wealth, we are also what we eat. A clean diet produces clean thoughts. A poor diet produces a poor life. There was a time in which people spent 70% of their income on making sure they had access to quality food. Food is our fuel; the better our fuel the better we function, the better we function the more we can accomplish.

3. 23% of wealthy gamble. 52% of poor people gamble.

Do you spend more time sitting around hoping to get lucky or putting in the time, energy, and effort to create your own luck? Although gambling can be fun and entertaining amongst those with self discipline, the wealthy to tend to look for areas with a higher probability for a ROI when using their money for the purpose of getting money.

4. 81% of wealthy maintain a to-do list vs. 19% for poor.

An organized thinker has an organized life. One that keeps track of their money always has money, just as one that keeps track of their daily activities tend to get more done than those that don’t. The more you get done the more wealth you can create.

5. 63% of wealthy parents make their children read 2 or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3% for poor.

If a man doesn’t grow mentally his pockets do not grow financially. When we educate ourselves we increase our capacity to create for others. The more we create for others the more will be given to us by others.

6.  88% of wealthy read 30 minutes or more each day for education or career reasons vs 2% for poor.

I want to connect 5 and 6 because I find these numbers to be alarming. Just 2 and 3 percent of those that aren’t rich are actively reading educational material? 30 minutes isn’t at all much; many of us spend 30 minutes day dreaming about things we won’t remember everyday.  By turning that time into just 30 minutes of reading, wealth can be added to our lives.

7. 6% of wealthy say what’s on their mind vs. 69% for poor.

I was always taught that the more you know the less you’ll say. The rich spend more of their time showing you what they know as opposed to injecting their opinion  and talking about what they know. Actions speak louder than words; actions pay more than words as well.

8. 6% of wealthy watch reality TV vs. 78% for poor.

TV isn’t just entertainment. We are all products of our diets. What we put in our mouth, what we listen to with our ears, what we watch with our eyes, and so forth.  Most reality TV Stars aren’t what you would call rich or wealthy. If we want riches and wealth we must watch those with wealth and listen to those with wealth. We become like that which we surround ourselves with.

9. 44% of wealthy wake up 3 hours before work starts vs. 3% for poor.

Early bird gets the worm? You’ll have more than the person you are doing more than. The earlier you rise the more you can accomplish.

10. 63% of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to work vs. 5% for poor people.

We can spend our time being entertained or we can spend our time learning. It is often said that smart phones are making us dumb, but this is not true. The way we use smart phones is what’s making us dumb. Are we using it an empowerment tool or as an escape from a life we are not comfortable with?

11. 84% of wealthy believe good habits create opportunity luck vs. 4% for poor.

This ties back into the gambling one above. Wealth is created by good habits just as health is created by good habits. The more good we put out the more good we will draw back in. When we find someone thats deemed “lucky” most don’t know that they often take part in a lot of healthy habits privately that attract their luck.

In closing, character is both defined by what we do when people are watching and when people are not. Those with the strongest character tend to have the strongest capacity to attract that which they want. It’s not always wealth, as everyone doesn’t have desire to be wealthy. But we should all have a desire to be the best us that we can be. Improving in the areas of life that we value so that we can increase our contribution to society. We weren’t created to be drones staring at lit up cell phones looking for entertainment. We were created to serve and be served by others. And the better our service, the more we will reap from those which we serve.

If you are interested in more material from the founder of this research visit his direct website by clicking here.

Thank You for Reading.

Dating & Social Development Coach ‘Eddie Fews


For One on One Live Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com – ask about my free 20 minute consultation.

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Now by Clicking Here 

Getting A Man Who’s “Not Ready” To Settle Down

Although most of my material is directed at men, I do always make a point to throw an article up to help out the ladies too every now and then. This topic in particular is one that I get asked a lot, and while I agree with most people who suggest not even bothering with a man who’s not ready to settle down unless “no strings attached” is what you want – I can’t ignore the fact that it is possible to get a man to settle down who thought he wasn’t ready. That is, until he met you.

I’ve seen it happen many times. Not only have I coached women specifically in this area, but I have also coached heart broken men on Getting back with the women they initially didn’t “want to settle down with” after she broke their hearts. This isn’t for the “on to the next one” types, if you’ve made it to that place more power to you. Some women just find themselves in situations where it’s not as easy done as it is said to “walk away” or “move on”. For them it’s too late; they’re already in it, and it’s going to take an emotional tug of war to get out of it. Other women have met a highly successful guy that marrying or being with is beneficial to them, and so they find it better to work it out than to walk away.  I’m speaking about high value men here that have choice with women by the way. These are usually the only types that find themselves at a state in which they’re “unwilling to settle down” anyway. So for you ladies, this is, “Getting A Man Who’s Not Ready To Settle Down”

First we need an understanding of how male emotional attachments work. I’ve taught this before, and I’ll post the link HERE if you want to get deeper into it – but, men develop emotional attachments when they invest. The more they invest into you, the higher the chances they’re going to develop an emotional attachment to you. This is one reason some women that allow a man to take them out on an expensive upscale dinner date or vacation end up with a stalker on their hands after deciding they don’t want to deal with the guy shortly after. The guy invested, received none of the cooperation he hoped for from the investment, and developed an strong emotional attachment because of it. One reason the “Netflix & Chill” culture has gotten so popular for men today is because men as a whole are unwilling to invest as much as men of old did – for many reasons we would need more time to discuss. However, that unwillingness to invest is men subconsciously protecting themselves from developing attachments. No investment, means no attachment. And let me just say, investments aren’t necessarily money. Investments from a man can be many things. Things like time, energy, effort, and money. In fact, the more of something a guy has the less he will consider it an “investment” subconsciously. A billionaire spending money on you doesn’t create emotions right away because he has so much money. But if that same billionaire had little free time, and started giving you that free time and even some of his “work time” then that would be a huge investment to him subconsciously

Let me also just add, that there are girls that manage to Netflix & Chill their way into a relationship through getting a man to invest by these other means. Men started to Netflix & Chill because showering, getting dressed, looking for a destination for a date, traveling to get to the date, spending money on the date(even if it’s just for him), walking with you after the date or during, etc. just to find out that he doesn’t even like a girl, takes time, money, and energy. That energy, if invested creates small levels of attachment that lead to men feeling duped and disappointed if nothing comes out of it. And because of how men are wired they grow tired of this process after the disappointment occurs too many times.

So how exactly is it done?

I’m going to defer to a man by the name of Dante Nero who does a podcast called the Beige Philip Podcast – A branch off of the great Patrice O’Neals ‘Black Philip’ Podcast after he passed.

I’ll call it The Jelly Bean Theory. I’ve always taught this concept to women in my own way, but Dante nailed it with this analogy.

The Jelly Bean Theory basically states that, in the heads of every unwilling to settle down man, he gives each woman he meets a giant empty glass jar. In the jar goes the jelly beans he fills it with whenever the woman he’s dealing with does something he finds pleasing. For example: if she buys him a cute little gift tailored to one of his needs, the man throws 15 jelly beans into the jar. She makes him a meal – 20 jelly beans in the jar, good sex – 10 jelly beans in the jar, shows him love affection – 5 jelly beans in the jar, massages his ego – more jelly beans, and so forth. Whatever is valuable to him is how he’ll add jelly beans to the jars of the women he’s dealing with. On the other end of this however, everything the woman does that he finds disrespectful like – bitching at him, nagging him, overly pressuring him to be exclusive etc. is 50 jelly beans out of the jar. Three positives can get you fifty jelly beans, but one negative can cause you to lose fifty. We can see this in the example of trust – it taking years to build, but only seconds to break.

So this trick here is to fill your jelly bean jar all the way up to the top, until it’s over flowing with jelly beans. And once you know for a fact that your jelly bean is full because you’ve treated him well and haven’t nagged, complained, and gotten into a lot of petty arguments with him – YOU WALK THE **** AWAY.

You call him up one evening and you say something in an extremely loving tone – massaging the hell out of his ego like “ Hey baby, I was just calling to let you know that I love you and that you mean the world to me, and that I want to do anything and everything for you, but I’m not going to be able to continue this relationship. You see, you’re an amazing man and I know you’re not ready to settle down, and as much as I love being with you because, you’re so great, I need to find someone to commit to me. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, because I want to stay with you, but I can’t, I just can’t. I’m sorry.  I Am so sorry“ – And then you hang up. If he calls you back, you don’t answer. You let him call and call for that first day.

You let him think.

Because by now he’s losing it. You’re about to walk away with all of his jelly beans. None of his other girls if he has any, have any jelly beans. He may have one girl with 20, another with 60, but they all eventually lose them because they’re not disciplined enough to show restraint when it comes to buckling down and suppressing their need to vent the frustration with the conditions of the relationship. But you, you just walked away with a thousand of his jelly beans, and he needs to get them back. And he will do almost anything to get them back.

This is where the tables turn and you start getting him to invest. Now you get your own jelly bean jar for him in your head and YOU start filling it with jelly beans. You become the one he starts doing all the good things to get back with so that he can subconsciously get the jelly beans he gave you back from you. However, by the time he does, you guys both have two full jars of jelly beans and the playing field is now leveled. Unfortunately, most women don’t look at the guy the same after this ,and usually end up walking away and breaking the guys heart. So be mindful of this before using it. But, if you come across the right high value man, it may actually be worth sticking around.

I can help you fully execute this process; just email me at EddieFews@Gmail.com – I overviewed this concept as best as I could in a short article, but there are a lot of intricacies that some need help with throughout the process. For example “ Knowing when your jelly bean jar is full, creative ways to add to the jar, knowing when to finally pick up when he comes calling, and more”. And if you’re a guy that’s been through this process I’m here for you too, to show you how to get your jelly beans back. Many women have used this method subconsciously without knowing and got the same results. I bet some of you can think of a time in your life where you implemented this in certain ways and had guys calling for their beans. It happens all the time knowingly or unknowingly, but you can consciously control the process. Anyway, thank you guys for reading as always, and be very careful and considerate with this.

Much Love

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Buy My Book: ‘The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

The Testosterone Secret You Haven’t Been Told

I was reading an article about avoiding the common estrogen mocking chemical BPA(Bisphenol A) that 90% of us ingest daily in attempt to preserve testosterone, when I encountered a comment from a guy questioning why it appeared that people in poorer communities had more testosterone than he, when they are exposed to many more testosterone inhibiting chemicals due to poverty than he does. That was when I began to think on this myself because I agreed with his comment. All the testosterone inhibiting chemicals in the world that people from less wealthy circumstances encounter still wasn’t enough to keep them from having higher testosterone than people in upper class communities. But why?

In short.. it’s because they’re uncomfortable.

When one does the research on increasing testosterone levels what they’ll find is, the majority of non-diet related steps to increase the testosterone hormone involve getting uncomfortable. Things like high intense exercises, cold showering/ice baths, giving up porn/masturbation etc. All these things require one to give up “Pleasure” and comfort for testosterone. I personally take a freezing cold shower every single day and for the first few months it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I had encountered in my life at the time. Now, I don’t even feel it. I’ve adapted and developed a natural edge in which I’m connected to the cold water. The thought of taking a warm shower is completely unappealing to me. I’ve tried and I immediately turn the water back to cold. The benefits of the cold shower far outweigh the pleasure and comfort of the warm shower. And this is kind of how it is for people in lower income communities.

Just as men who traditionally lived in the wild and had to learn how to hunt, maintain awareness, and defend themselves for survival; people in lower income communities have a similar experience . Too many mistakes in the wild could lead one to be mistaken a “prey” and potential “food” for a predator. In that same light, too many mistakes in “the hood” could give one the appearance of a free meal as well. There is an edge that has to be maintained, there is a certain vibe one has to adapt, and a level of getting “comfortable” with the “uncomfortable” that one must learn to stay alive.

The subconscious mind is programmed for survival. Its only job is to provide you with the motivation and desire necessary to keep you alive. Anything extra must be consciously chosen, ardently desired, and then persistent in by your conscious mind. You would have to make your own personal choice to make decisions to create and develop an edge that will assist in building testosterone. When you first jump into a cold shower the subconscious will SCREAM loudly for you to turn the water back warm, because you don’t need cold water on your skin to survive. So unless you have the discipline or a conscious desire greater than the influence of your subconscious you will indeed back out and turn the water back warm.

When one lives in a wealthy suburban area what subconscious need is there to motivate you to develop an edge outside of a conscious choice? The community knows one another, there’s little to no crime, the neighbors wave as your walking by, and so forth? If a person that has only known this type of community were to be thrown in the center of “The hood” the subconscious would scream loudly by giving you fear and anxiety as to say “ Get back to the suburbs!” Just as it would tell you to turn the water back warm after throwing yourself into a cold shower. But if you were to consciously choose to stay in the cold water and/or adapt to your new environment you would develop the edge that would generate the survival induced testosterone that the people in these areas tend to have.

Now, I don’t write this to say “ Go get comfortable in the hood to get more testosterone”. I write this for you to ask yourself – what comforts are normal for you that you get uncomfortable without could you give up to develop an edge that will lead to an increase in testosterone if desired? To gain anything most understand that we must give something up. If we want fire, we must give up some of our wood. What are you willing to give up for this?

I remember when I wasn’t as comfortable approaching women. I remember when I didn’t have the razor sharp edge that made it is as easy then as it is now. I remember when I had to plow through discomfort and mild anxiety and consciously choose to do it despite the emotions coming from the subconscious that said ” you don’t need to approach women to survive”. Just as I had to consciously choose to cold shower, and subconsciously adapt to a rougher neighborhood growing up. All these things were the building blocks that developed the edge that lead to the increased testosterone that I have today.

That edge will give you a swagger, a confidence and a self awareness that will make you happy, make women attracted to you, and make men respect you. Those that choose a life of comfort never quite experience the level respect that these others do.

Why do you think Conor McGregor is such a huge superstar? He grew up rough, that roughness gave him an edge, that edge triggered a generating of more testosterone, and all of that properly directed into a field he could succeed in ( UFC – Mixed Martial Arts) is the reasons millions of children and men all over the world want to emulate him today. You can’t find me a man without an edge that people directly want to emulate. They may want to emulate an edge-less mans work, but they’re never trying to emulate him. This is what the Alpha Males that all men tend to think they are today are made of.

You can try all the dietary tricks and take all the supplements you like to build testosterone, but it can also build on its own without these things when you consciously give up comforts and live your life on the edge.

Thanks for reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One in Field Approach Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

The 3 Factors That Impact Your Ability To Attract Women

Recently I was listening to an old Patrice O’Neal clip that I hadn’t heard in a while in which he was talking about the scale he and his friends decided to use to rate women to allow a more accurate rating of their physical beauty. His theory was that when using the 1-10 rating system no one really uses numbers 1-3. The lowest most will give a woman is a four and so this throws off the accuracy of the system; it becomes a 4-10 scale. As a result, he came up with the 1-30 scale. Basically women get broken down into three categories 1-10 is below average women, 11-20 is average women, 21-30 is beautiful women. So once you see a woman you put her in one of those categories and then you rate her amongst all women that would fit into the category. Once you get that number you divide it by three and that will give you  the accurate 1-10 rating for a woman. For example: Angelina Jolie would be in the beautiful women category, but when you measure her against ALL the beautiful women in the world where would she fit? A 22 or 23 maybe? Divide that by three and she is about a seven an a half at best.

Now whether you agree with the scale or not, it led to the inspiration for this article. I started thinking about how we as men could rate ourselves. What factors would contribute to our 1-30 rating? I came up with what I’ve found to be the three most important factors when it comes to attracting women. Three categories, rate yourself from 1-10 in each category, add the numbers up, divide it by three, and that will be your overall attractiveness rating.

It’s commonly said that you can attract someone 2 points higher of your 1-10 rating. Example: A Man thats an 8 can attract 10’s but it will require some effort. A man thats an 9 can attract 10’s with light effort, and a man thats a 10 can attract 10’s with little to no effort. But as I’ve commonly taught; a lot more goes into the quality of women you can attract that just what you look like. I know my share of average looking out of shape guys that consistently pull 8’s 9’s and 10’s, and thats because, they have a high rating due to the factors i’m going to touch on in just a second. 

Personal honesty is key here. All these factors can be improved. So when you are honest in the assessment of your rating, you’ll understand where to direct your energy to improve yourself, thus improving the quality of women you attract.

 

Category 1: Your Physical Attractiveness (Score yourself 1-10)

Now although a lot more goes into attracting women than your physical appearance it does play its role. None of us can help how we’re born,but there are many things we can do to improve our appearance. Things like properly grooming, developing our physique, dressing well, and taking care of our skin. A man with average facial features that’s well groomed, an in great physical shape is still pretty high on the scale. I’d go so far as to say a man with unattractive features that dresses well, smells good, is well groomed, and is in great physical shape can be as high as a seven on the 1-10 scale for physical attractiveness alone. Throw some good looks in the mixture and that guy can easily give himself a 9 or 10.

If you want to improve physical appearance it’s going to take sacrifice like everything else. What are you willing to give up to get the things you want? Processed fatty foods? Warm Water? Getting to bed early and getting more sleep? Getting a gym member and regularly making time in your schedule to go. We all intellectually know how to improve ourselves physically, but how many put aside instant gratification to do it?

Now let me say, I do believe this is the least important of the three categories that I’m listing here, but in no means should it be disregarded. It does play its role, and even if it played no role we should all be maximizing our potential. Do not make this a woman thing, make this a you thing. Desire to be the best you that you can be in all areas of your life.

Where do you score 1-10? Hold that number and add it up with the rest below.

 

Category 2: Mindset, Inner Game, Self Confidence (Score Yourself 1-10)

I’ve always taught guys three things about self confidence when it came to women.

1. A woman cares more about what you think of you, than she does about what she thinks of you.

2. A woman cares more about what you think of her, than she does about she thinks of you.

As men we often make the mistake of thinking that women are perfect. We put all the focus and energy on ourselves without taking into account the full spectrum of the person we’re interacting with. When a man approaches a woman he tends to ignorantly think that she’s not prone to the same anxiety, nervousness, and lack of conversational ability that he’s prone to. And so he thinks that if he is not successful in his approach than something must not be right with him. This is far from the truth. I’ve known women who’ve rejected men that they have liked simply because they got nervous, didn’t know what to say, and didn’t want to feel unhappy about having an unsuccessful social interaction. She cared more about what “he thought of her” than she cared about what she thought of him. I have also had several women tell me about men they didn’t find attractive as the man was approaching , that admittedly were won over after the approach by the mans swagger and confidence. If this was Tinder she would of swiped left on him immediately, but this was real life and in real life other factors play a role in a mans ability to attract women.

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see what they think, or do you see what you think? Have you accepted yourself. Are you aware of what makes you great? What distinguishes you? What your potential is? Do you stand tall and erect with your head up? Do you believe in your ability to achieve all things? Do you see the Power in you?

I’ll tell you like a old school player that will still dating young attractive women told me “ I’m going to walk like a God, talk like a God, and a woman is going to respond to me in the only way a woman can respond to a God” It was that mindset and the power of his self-belief that led to his continuous success.

Your mindset is the character you play in this movie of life. It can be developed and it can be changed. Just as an actor becomes the character of the script through repetition of his lines and convincing himself over and over that he is the character in the film until it becomes real, you can do the same.

Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character and our character becomes our destiny.

Take control of your thoughts, tell yourself what you want to be as if you already are it. Tell yourself over and over, billions of times for months/years if it takes and you WILL become that thing.

On a scale of 1-10 how strong is your self belief and inner confidence? How confident are you when walking into a room? Rate yourself an add it to the number from category above and below.

 

Category 3: The Quality Of Your Intent (Score Yourself 1-10)

I had a friend named Alex who had moved here to New York City suddenly one day with the clothes on his back and two hundred dollars to his name. I wrote about him in one of my books “The Player Handbook”. All he knew was that he wanted to be an Actor and the place he lived wasn’t the proper environment for him to reach his goal. To make a long story short he lived with about fifteen different highly attractive women over the course of his 3 year stay here before finally getting the right gig and moving to Los Angeles. I remember when we were all hanging out with our group and one of my other friends asked him “ How do you do it? How do you get all these beautiful women to let you move in rent free?” Alex’s response was “ Women only like me because i’m good looking and I’m going for my shit. Well they really only like me because I’m going for my shit, Im just good looking and so I had to say it” We all laughed, but what he said was the raw truth. Alex had a 10 on quality of Intent scale. So even if he was a six on the looks scale, and an eight on the confidence scale, that would give him a twenty-four which would be an eight when divided by three. Meaning, he could he could attract 10’s with some effort.

So what is quality of intent you may think? It’s the energy at which you live your life with. It’s the how it’s not the “what”. As I’ve always taught, it’s not about what you do, it’s about how you do it. It’s not about what you say to women, it’s about how you say it. And the how will always come from your intent. How much intention are you living your life with? How many of your daily activities are done with true intention? It doesn’t matter if you’re playing video games all day, the question is why are you playing them? Are you playing them to kill time or because you have some goal in mind you’re trying to actualize? Are you practicing to become a Professional Gamer or Twitch Streamer like Fortnite player Ninja who’s intent led to him making $500,000 a month from playing a video game. I saw an interview with him in which he said “ I always just wanted to be the best. Every time I played it was because I wanted to be better than every one. I didn’t sleep. I stayed up all night playing because I wanted to be the best”. That was the quality of his intent and look where it got him? The quality of Alex’s intent caused him to leave home without much money and go to an unknown place to fulfill his dream.

How much of your time are you dedicating to fulfilling your desires with focused thought and intention? There should be no leisure time, unless it is pre decided with intent to allow yourself room to rest and recharge. If you’re hanging out with a girl, why are you doing it? And how does doing it serve your overall purpose and fulfillment? Are you in school without intent because you think that’s what you’re suppose to do? Are you working a Job just because it pays without an overall reason or goal in mind? That is wasted intention.

You should ONLY be thinking about or focusing on women when it’s time to pursue women through action. Anything outside of that is wasted thought and reduces value. The less I thought about women, the more women I had thinking about me. The more of your time that you spend in focused thought with full intention on being who you desire to be, the higher your quality of intent. The mind should never be wandering. If you are spending time thinking, it should be done with purpose, focus, and intent (visualizations, planning, setting goals etc). When not thinking you should be actively in pursuit of your desires with intent and discipline. The path of success in anything is narrow; so narrow, that most won’t make it, and this is why I feel this is the most important factor of the three.

How would you rate your current quality of intent on a scale of 1-10? How focused are you on creating the life for yourself that you desire? What percentage of your time is devoted to this? 10% gives you a 1 on the intent scale, 50% gives you a 5, 80% an 8 and so forth. Whats yours?

Conclusion

There it is.. Take each other your three numbers from each category, add them up, and divide that number by three. Thats your current rating on whats truly valuable on what makes a man attractive. Are you satisfied with it? Regardless of what it is may you not be satisfied. Maximize your potential. I teach about women a lot because the pursuit to reproduce is a driving force for success, but there is a lot more to life than attracting women. It is usually only when we are personally fulfilled that we will find ourselves in fulfilling relationships with the opposite sex. Take care of your physical(Category 1), master your mental (Category 2), and grow in your spiritual ( Category 3) and you will have fulfillment in both your love life and your personal life.

Thanks for Reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here 

How To Become The Woman A Man Needs

So I was recently hired by a highly attractive educated young woman to begin working with her on improving her dating life success. Her, unlike most with her credentials, physical appeal, and youth had decided that enough was enough, and that she was ready for change. She was only thirty years old, had graduated from one of the top ten schools in the country, had her masters, and is damn near making six figures a year doing marketing with a fortune 500 company right here in New York City. Her problem you ask? She somehow couldn’t manage to get a guy to commit to her for any thing other then a long-term friends with benefits situationship. And I do mean long term. She had had one for two years, another for three, and even one that stretched as long as six years that only ended recently after he proposed to, and married his best friend who he had been crushing on all along. So for the life of her, she wondered what she was doing wrong. You see, she wasn’t a bad woman at all. She had kept all of these men coming around for years and years, so there was obviously something about her that they couldn’t so easily let go of. So what was it? Why wouldn’t they commit to her in the way she wanted? This all had led us into a deeper conversation, an as she revealed some things about herself to me, I had encouraged her to do what I refer to as an “honesty exercise” on FaceTime with this new guy that was set to take her on a first date later on in the week.

She told the guy she would like to FaceTime, he agreed, and then he reported back to her the next morning to inform her that he had ‘fallen asleep before he could FaceTime, but that he would prefer to meet in person anyway so i didn’t matter much’. Her response? “ Okay That Works! 🙂 Saturday?” .. And thats when I realized what part of the problem she was having was. She was just too easy. Instead of committing to the exercise that I suggested she did, she allowed the guy of interest to side step it, and pull her right back into doing what it is he wanted without her putting up any resistance. It’s kind of like a girl saying “ I’m saving myself for marriage” on the first date and then the moment a guy says “ Nah. i’d prefer to have sex tonight” , she responds “Okay thats fine”. Wheres the backbone? No Resistance or challenge at all? You know the move women do even when they know they’re going to have sex with you, when they move your hand the first few times you reach for there erogenous zones, just so they don’t come across as too easy.. Not even a verbal one of those? I have no doubt that if this guy has any skill with women, the moment he saw her response he immediately concluded that he would probably be able to sleep with her on the first night.

She asked me what should she have done and I told her she should of busted his balls. I told her it is your job a female companion to bust a mans balls anytime he deviates from his masculinity. It’s the only thing thats going to make him feel like you in fact, have the potential to make him better. Staying true to our word, and doing what we said we would do is a standard that men are held to. A man cannot be a leader if he’s indecisive, doesn’t know what he wants, and his word cannot be relied upon.  Whether he knows it consciously or not a man wants a woman that helps snap him back into position when he falls short of his highest masculine nature. I told her any response such as “ So you didn’t do what you said you would, and now you want me to do what you want? I don’t know mister 😛 “ would of have been sufficient. She kicked herself a bit and told me that she was just nervous that she would come across “bitchy” if she didn’t just go with it. I informed her that when a woman is that easy all she’ll do is weaken a guy over time. It’s like a mother that feeds a child candy every time they ask. It’ll make them happy in the moment, but then what happens in the future? So that behavior is an ego boost for men, and we all know men connect ourselves to women that stroke our egos, but what exactly does an ego boost that isn’t deserved do to a man over time? It destroys him. It dulls his blade. It convinces him that the shell of himself that he is currently being is someone good. Men are programed to pass on our seeds, and most of us won’t become much more than we have to become to successfully do that. That’s what success is to a man biologically; successfully being able to spread your seed as much as possible. This is why the majority of men who go around laying pipe every where don’t really do well in life. (Another reason most of our favorite musicians fall off after getting mainstream successful if they’re unmarried) . You ever hear a woman say ” broke men are the best in bed” ? The success of spreading their seed is convincing their biology that they’re already successful. So the motivation to exceed beyond that is non existent. On a biological level this is the case, but a spiritual level men in tune with themselves know something different. We understand that an overly easy going woman will dull our blade, and we subconsciously resent them for it.

Thats what a side chick is for. The reason a man seeks out a side chick, or a “friends with benefits” is so that we have a woman that carelessly pumps our ego so that we feel “good enough” to deal with our wife, or the woman we actually want to be our wives. She boosts our morale and a self esteem, but she doesn’t actually do anything to boost us beyond that. Our wives on the other hand are holding us to the standard of what they know our potential is. The side chicks are the women on the sideline, the cheerleaders, the screaming fan. The wife is that mirror we have to look into at the end of the day when its all said and done. And what would happen to you if you suddenly could no longer gain access to a mirror? You could think you look good all you like, and feel good because of it , but would you actually look good? And until a woman, your wife, or a mirror revealed to you what you actually look like, you could be living a long life of disillusion.

It is important that a wife learns to be both however, lest their man will begin looking for that side chick. Someone to boost his morale, while his wife challenges him to be better. If you could be a mans biggest fan, and his mirror perhaps he would be slower to seek it out else where. But all in all, if he could only choose one, as I told my client, a man wants his woman to be a blade sharpener. Which is why a man almost never leaves his wife for his side chick. He wants to slice through the world as his woman sharpens his blade. My client was just being another portion of the world that men were slicing through. She wasn’t doing anything to make them better at slicing, or to strengthen their blade. Eventually that mans blade would hit a wall that was too thick from him to slice through because he was being convinced that he was sharp enough already, but he was not actually prepared for what was ahead. She was an amazing side chick; probably one of the best, and this was confirmed after she revealed that several of her situationships led to the guys getting married or being in happy long term relationships after her.

The woman a man needs prepares him for the world ahead. I’ve heard story after story of a woman that supported her man entirely after he lost his job, supported him in his depression, only to have him leave her for another woman once he got back onto his feet. But the support they were offering wasn’t the support these mens spirits were actually longing for. They were giving the “ i’m here for you no matter what. Just take your time to figure yourself out” kind of support, but his spirit was looking for that “ I’m here for you, but I’ll have to leave you if you don’t eventually get your shit together” kind of support. Only one of those was actually going to boost him to do something. I’ve told the story a million times of the woman I know who worked a second job and gave all of the money to her boyfriend, and bought him books, until he figured out what he was going to do with his life who’s now happily married to him and wealthy 18 years later. But the difference between her man and most men is the guy she was with wasn’t lazy, unmotivated, nor was he bum. He was selling drugs at a high level, and getting money the only way he knew how. He just didn’t know any other way, so she asked an already ambitious man to stay at home, while she worked until he figured out a way to redirect his ambition. If he went back to the streets during this time, she was going to leave him, she said it. She wasn’t just taking shit; she was taking some, but she was offering true spiritual support. He sat at home, doing nothing but reading for a whole year while his girlfriend worked a second job an gave him all the money, before he become the multi-millionaire he is today.

Now this isn’t some call for women to no longer remain with the guy you’re currently with. It’s a group effort; I’d suggest that if your man isn’t currently being the man you would like him to be then it could be possible that you’re failing as his companion. Especially if he was once a sharp motivated man when you met him that has somehow lost his way. Did you dull his blade? Why isn’t he sharp? What happen to his motivation? And what true spiritual support have you offered him to try to change that? I would encourage all women to remain with a man thats being honest, upright, and treating you with respect. There isn’t an “I” in team, so if your man isn’t being all he could be, it is possible that you may not be being all that you can be to him. Or that you’re not acting as a source of support and motivation thats encouraging him to become more.

In closing,

This isn’t all the pieces to the puzzle of becoming the woman that a man needs, this is just one vital portion that I discovered my client was lacking. This is the edges of the puzzle if you will. Her and I will be completing the puzzle over time as we’ll continue our work. Once you become the woman you’re man needs, once you sharpen his blade, and become his mirror that both highlights his beauty and reveals to him his true self a man will be happy be the man to you and to the world that you’ve been wanting him to the entire time.

Thanks For Reading.

Eddie Fews


For One on One Coaching and Consultations via Skype, Phone, or Instant Messenger; Email: EddieFews@gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: The Secret Laws of Social Wisdom’ Click Here